Just Jack: Everything laid bare

by K. L. Shandwick

  Mya’s performance was exceptional as always and we played the song together like we’d been doing it for years. Lennon and Cody started playing air guitar and that made me smile. When I took on the awesome guitar solo it was like a freeze-frame as everyone stared in wonder at me. As we finished my parents cheered the loudest of everyone. They had been desperately trying to get me to play an instrument throughout my childhood years.

  We went on to play five more songs and then it turned into a bit of an impromptu Karaoke where everyone else got up and sang a cover of their own favourite songs. As soon as we stepped off the pagoda I was almost overrun with everyone commenting how impressed they were. Alfie pushed his way through the crowd and slapped me on the back.

  “Jesus, Jack, where the hell did you learn to play guitar like that? That was absolutely incredible, I’d buy your album in a heartbeat, buddy.”

  Lily stood to the side staring at me with a stunned look on her face just waiting for everyone else to finish what they wanted to say. When she finally walked slowly towards me she had a kind of sad look on her face.

  “Hey.” Her voice sounded small and she pointed to the pagoda where Lennon and Cody were singing a rendition of ’Pinball Wizard’ by The Who.

  “I don’t know what to say. I mean you and the guitar, Jack?” Lily shook her head and glanced up at me again with tears brimming in her eyes. “Wow, Jack. Just…wow.”

  I put my arms out and Lily stepped into them. Closing them around her I kissed the top of her head and she began to cry. I pushed her away from me a little to look down at her and she sniffed laughing, a little embarrassed by her emotions.

  “Sorry, that was just awesome. You are awesome. My big hero. I’ve always known you could do anything you put your mind to Jack, you just proved me right.”

  Lily felt good in my arms. I had missed her hugely but that year taught me I could live without her, except I didn’t want to any more.

  “God, I’ve missed you, Lily. I’m sorry if I took all my anger out on you, sweetheart.”

  Lily’s brow furrowed and she shook her head vigorously.

  “No, Jack, you were right. I should never have kept something so incredibly important from you.”

  I kissed her forehead and pulled her tight to my chest.

  “Let’s not get ourselves twisted any more about something we can’t change. I have Ava and Mya in my life now and I couldn’t be happier.”

  Lily smiled up at me with affection. “If I’m honest, it makes me a little jealous to know that there are a couple of girls on this planet that are more important to you than I am now.”

  “Lily I still love you, sweetheart, it’s just a different kind of love to that of Mya and Ava.” Lily nodded and Alfie came over and pulled Lily away from me.

  “Fuck off, Jack, just because you can hold a tune and play the guitar like the best of us doesn’t mean you can pull my woman and make her cry.”

  For the first time I conceded to Alfie completely.

  “She’s all yours, buddy. I’m very happy with my own girl so no need to get jealous man, I love Lily, but I’m completely in love with Mya.”

  Alfie nodded and squeezed Lily to him, “And that’s a fucking incredible feeling, right?”

  Nodding slowly I smirked and tilted my head to the side glancing past him to Mya then back at him.

  “Right, Alfie.” It definitely was.

  Chapter 42 ~ Sneaky

  Mya had a fantastic night and was surprised by her parents who arrived later. Her father didn’t want to miss her big day and she spent some time with them talking in the marque while mayhem was happening on my mother’s lawn between the XrAid and Crakt Soundzz guys. They were all behaving really childishly doing cartwheels and leap frog and my father smirked and raised his eyebrow at me.

  “Thank goodness you don’t do anything like that at parties to embarrass yourself, Jack.”

  Alfie was behind me and coughed loudly, drawing my father’s attention to him. He held his hand up and pretended to be choking for a second then wandered off. I bit back a grin and nodded innocently at my dad like I’d never do anything to draw attention to myself like that.

  Mya and I were staying at my parents’ place that night and after one in the morning I just wanted to get into bed and snuggle up with her. I still had no gift for her because I wanted it to be the right thing and not just ‘something’. When we got into bed I apologised and then asked her straight what she wanted.

  “You really want to know?” Mya shifted up onto her elbow to look at me.

  “Sure, it would make my life so much easier than trying to find something special. You have been spoiled by Rick, Mya. I could buy you many things, but I don’t want it to be materialistic.”

  Mya brushed my hair away from my eyes and kissed me softly on the lips before leaning back again to speak.

  “Cunningham. That’s what I want for my birthday.”

  I was already in the process of changing Ava’s name from Lister to Cunningham, and Mya had followed the paper process with me as she was adopting Ava as well. Mya was such a part of me that I never thought she may be feeling left out by not having the same name as the Ava and I. By changing her name, I was laying my final claim on Ava. I still had to do that for Mya.

  “Sure. You know I’ll be ecstatic when you become my wife, we just have to find the time to get married, and with school starting soon you won’t have any holiday time until Christmas. Do you want to do it then? Just give me a date and I’ll tell my mother. She’ll plan most of it if you tell her what you want.”

  Mya shook her head slowly and stared seriously into my eyes.

  “No, Jack. I just want it to be us. No fanfare. No rock stars. No negotiation about which side of the Atlantic the ceremony is on. We can have a wedding for them afterwards but I want a secret one now.”

  Glancing at her through sleepy eyes I considered what she’d been through for me and throughout our time together she had never made any demands, but part of me also thought about how that would feel to my parents knowing that their only child had gone and got married without inviting them. Then again, if there was a public wedding afterwards would they ever know we’d already done it?

  “All right Mya, I’ll look into it tomorrow.” I wasn’t sure what the outcome was going to be but at least she knew I wasn’t dismissing the idea. Mulling over that thought meant it was an age before I fell asleep.

  Amber rays of sunlight bathed the room when I’d woken to the sound of Ava babbling through the baby monitor. I remembered we were at my parent’s house and decided I should let Mya sleep in a little. She stirred but didn’t wake up when the mattress dipped as I stood up and began to walk to Ava’s room. Lifting her into my arms I sat on the oversized chair that had been my mother’s feeding chair when I was a baby. She was bright eyed but just sat quietly in my lap stroking my skin on my arm so I spent a few quiet minutes explaining what had been going on for all of us during the past year.

  I talked about Rosie and described her as a beautiful girl with a serious outlook on life, kind of the opposite to me at the time. I was able to tell Ava honestly that I loved her mum, but that sometimes just loving someone wasn’t enough.

  Previously I had vowed to concentrate on the good parts of Rosie when Ava was old enough to ask me about her and I’d never hide the fact that although she had a wonderful mum in Mya, she wasn’t the one who had helped to make her. Rosie may not have done the best by me, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t loved our daughter, and I was the better person for filling Ava’s mind with good thoughts about her birth mum.

  Creaking floor boards took my attention away from Ava and I saw Mya standing at the door. I wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing there, but from her face I knew she’d heard enough to be affected by what I’d said. She looked emotional and at first I thought she was upset by me telling Ava about her birth mother, but instead she came and sat by my feet.

  “I’ve never heard anything more touching, Jac
k. You and Ava make an incredible sight sitting in here quietly. I was happy to share my life with the both of you, but I want to belong now and I’m starting to need that.”

  Mya never asked me for anything. She was a born giver. The conversation she’d started before bed was still on her mind and it was my responsibility to do something about it.

  “Heard loud and clear, love, we want that too, don’t we, Ava?” Ava cooed and reached out to Mya as if on cue and we both chuckled.

  “I never paid her to do that, Mya. Honest.” I winked at Ava playfully as if we were in collaboration and Mya grinned, reaching up to hug me.

  “Thank you, Jack. Normally, I wouldn’t be pushing this, it’s just that I feel ready for that next step with you, you know?”

  I did. I was more than ready, but we’d just been so busy getting through the days and I suppose I’d been a little neglectful of Mya’s feelings at times.

  “Forgive me, love. I know I haven’t been the best fiancé. No birthday gift and with everything else that’s been going on I haven’t done what I should have in respect of your status. I’m on it today.”

  Mya went off to her music session, the last of her summer school, and I set about figuring out how I could marry Mya. I called the British Embassy for advice and then the American one. I explained our situation and that Mya was about to go to university and was currently on a student visa.

  Donald, the guy at the UK Embassy was extremely helpful and said that in our present circumstances, and with knowledge of the fact that Mya was going to be adopting Ava, we were able to circumvent a lot of the paperwork because she was already in the system. The American Embassy case officer’s name, Steven Hardy, was given to Donald and he called later that day to say that they could at least grant a special license for us to marry.

  Given that Mya had been in Ava’s life since the same day as I had, there was more than ample evidence to say that Mya and I weren’t having a ‘marriage of convenience’, and social services were able to supply a wealth of information to support Mya’s application. All we had to wait for was her certificate of approval to marry because she was a non-European Union citizen and she had entered the UK on a visa which wasn’t for marriage purposes.

  Smiling excitedly, Mya couldn’t wait for us to be a proper family when I’d told her and she surprised me further by opting for a civil service with a church blessing once we’d told our parents.

  So Mya and I discreetly set the date for a week later, but before we married I wanted to go and see where Rosie was laid to rest. I was informed she’d been cremated and her ashes were interned in a small church yard where she grew up. I wanted to make my peace with her before Mya and I cemented our relationship forever.

  Mya understood that it was something I wanted to do alone and didn’t seem hurt by my need to do this. I wasn’t sure what I’d wanted to get from it, but I went to see the little brass plaque with ‘Rosie Lister 1987-2014’ inscribed on it. She lived for twenty six years for what? A life cut short or was her real purpose in this life to have Ava?

  I sat quietly and told Rosie about Ava and apologised again for hurting her then stood silently and shed a tear in respect of her memory. As I walked away I closed the door on that chapter of my life forever. There was no more to say about it.

  Thursday morning the following week, without any build-up to our day, we were standing outside Chelsea Registry Office with Ava waiting for Dave and Emily to meet us.

  As soon as he saw me he was gushing excitedly. We’d only called him an hour earlier asking for him and Emily to meet us there and approximately thirteen minutes after meeting them, Mya and I were Mr. and Mrs. Jack Cunningham and she was signing the register.

  Watching the look of joy on Mya’s face when the registrar said, “I now pronounce you man and wife,” I knew I’d done the right thing. Mya unceremoniously leapt onto me squealing in delight. Her arms clinging around my neck as her lips crushed mine before I could even draw breath.

  Ava was clapping and whooping along with Dave and Emily unaware of what it all meant and we all burst out laughing,

  “Thank you, Jack. Everything until now has always been about other people and their circumstances impacting on us as a couple. Rosie, Uncle Rick, Cobham Street, Lily, our parents… I just wanted one day where it was just us and without anyone knowing about it. Dave and Emily permitted of course.”

  My wife was incredible. Most girls wanted rainbows and tiaras, designer wedding attire and a huge white wedding day, and all mine wanted was to belong to me.

  Our wedding luncheon was at a local pub with Dave, Emily and our daughter, who sat in an old wooden high chair eating spaghetti bolognaise with both hands. And I couldn’t have been happier.

  Since we’d decided to do that I had been thinking a lot about how inadequate I’d been in taking care of Mya’s needs. I’d written nine songs about Rosie and not one about how Mya made me feel, so I had tried to put that right and decided to write a song to sing to her on our wedding night. We only had one day together and I could have booked us into a plush hotel and given her the works, but that was clichéd and I wanted something a little more personal than that. Mya may have had the privacy she wanted but there was one more person I had to confide in to make the day a memorable one.

  Dave and Emily had earned my trust with Ava and I’d gone as far as naming them on my will as the people I’d like to take care of Ava, God forbid anything happening to Mya and I, so I was as confident as I could be about leaving Ava in their care on our wedding night. At five thirty, we walked away from Dave’s place with Mya believing we were just going home.

  Mya grinned up at me looking absolutely stunning in her simple ivory linen dress and stilettos.

  “A whole night with no responsibilities, what are we going to do with that, Jack?”

  “Actually, Mya, I think it’s too early to go home. I’ve neglected to show you the city you have chosen to live in. We have one night free, so if you’ll indulge me I’d like to show you my home town.” Mya grinned as I put my arm up to flag a taxi for us.

  “Victoria Station, please.”

  Mya’s brow was bunched and I could see that she was thinking about the shoes she was wearing.

  “Don’t worry, there is very little walking with what I have in mind.” She sat back in the taxi and allowed me to control the evening.

  Mya started laughing when I dragged her towards the classic red open-topped tour bus. She grinned widely as she boarded and allowed me to be her personal tour guide while the red London bus drove down Victoria Street, past New Scotland Yard and then on to Westminster Abbey, where Kings and Queens had walked for more years than her country had been discovered.

  Next, we drove past the Houses of Parliament where the government allegedly made sound decisions and past the icon that was Big Ben. The bus ride took a left along the embankment of the River Thames passing the London Eye and The Barbican on our right then onward again passing Tower Bridge stretching over The Thames and the Tower of London on our left. Mya was particularly impressed with those as the evening light had faded and they were beginning to be lit up.

  Staring out in wonder, she was fully engaged with what I was telling her, listening intently and asking questions to gain a greater knowledge of her new city. On the way back we passed through Oxford Street to Trafalgar Square and eventually got off the bus at Marble Arch.

  London’s history had Mya enthralled and she didn’t see me text to arrange the next part of the evening. Hailing another cab, we set off for Battersea and I could see her wonder what else was in store for her.

  Charlie, Lily’s dad was waiting at the helipad in Battersea for us. He was a helicopter pilot in London and the one person I’d told to arrange this for her. Mya’s eyes were wide, glittering in the sunset and I could see how ecstatic she was at her surprise.

  Seeing London from the ground was one thing, seeing it from the air at dusk was something else. A magical city full of wonderful architecture and even more ama
zing having Mya share it with me. Charlie had brought some champagne for us and we drunk the whole bottle as he weaved his way down the river sharing his knowledge of the city with us. Mya was obviously enjoying her trip judging by the amount of expressive gasps and hand squeezes she gave me.

  After an hour, Charlie touched down at a City of London helipad. The City is only one square mile. The rest of London is a town which confuses people a lot. It’s the financial and legal heart of London. Mya and I thanked Charlie and wandered down to the river for another glimpse of The Tower of London and Tower Bridge being flooded by light in the dark.

  Smiling lovingly at me, Mya told me she thought the whole experience was incredible. It wasn’t that much from my perspective because I’d wanted to give her the whole world in a box, but with the limited time and my even more limited imagination, this was the best I could think of. She had her first British fish and chips in a newspaper before we headed home to finish our night, and I have to say she still looked amazing despite our long day.

  It felt strange entering the apartment without Ava but that night belonged to Mya. She had my undivided attention and it was long overdue. She left me to go to the bathroom and I hurriedly prepared my wedding gift for her. Pulling my guitar out of its hard case and slipping my slacks, socks and shirt off. I sat cross legged on the bed wearing just my boxer briefs.

  When Mya opened the door she was wearing lingerie similar to the set she had the first time I made love to her except this one was white and I had to fight with my dick for control to stick with the plan and not drag her to bed and devour her.

  I began to play the song I’d written for her and she climbed slowly onto the bed beside me, crossing her legs and watching me play.

  I’m crazy in love with a girl who’s surrendered,

  But I’m complex or simple that’s me,