Strictly Need to Know

by MB Austin

  “No voices in your head?” Rose asked. “And they can’t hear us.” She took in Maji’s discomfort and distancing behavior. “You don’t want a night alone with me. I get it.” She pulled her towel tighter and headed for the door.

  Maji watched her go. Rios, you pendejo. She crossed the hall to the locker room and reached to push through the door. A memory of rushing through the back door of the diner to confront Rose’s kidnappers flashed through her mind. Maji froze. She hadn’t been scared then. Why now?

  The door opened and Rose stood there, in gi pants and a T-shirt. Looking cross. “Excuse me.”

  Maji leaned her outstretched hand onto the doorjamb, not blocking but not retreating either. “I’m not playing you. I just can’t do this to you.”

  “What is it you think you’re doing? If you don’t want to spend another night with me, that’s between you and you.” Rose crossed her arms, letting the door swing back toward Maji, toward closing her out.

  Maji stepped forward enough to catch the door, but still not crowd Rose. “I’m in no position to offer more than a couple of nights. I know I would want more than that, and I’m guessing you would, too.”

  “Well, as my grandmother says, never guess—always ask.”

  But asking would yield an honest answer, and Maji could not bring herself to find out what it would be. “It’s just, settling for a hookup doesn’t seem like you.”

  “Before this summer, I would have agreed with you.” Rose paused, still frowning. “But then, before I met you, I’d never invited a stranger home. That wasn’t like me. Between playing make-believe at home, fighting men with guns, training to…well, I don’t know what I’m like anymore. I played my whole life safe up until now, and where did it get me? It turned me into an ivory-tower mouse. And that is not who I am. I could be another Vandana Shiva, for all I know. If Hannah sees it, maybe I should, too.”

  Finally some safe ground. “You could do anything, be anything you want to be.”

  “Except be in love with you.”

  The words felt like a punch in the gut. “I can’t. You’ll…” What, Rios? Get hurt? Hate me?

  “Tip my hand? Do something reckless, and get your friends killed? I’m not Iris, Maji.”

  To hear Rose speak her name felt achingly bittersweet. Maji closed her eyes. “No. It’s not that.”

  Rose grasped her hand and leaned a shoulder on the open door, propping it so Maji could let her arm go and just hold on, hand in hand. “So tell me what it is.”

  “I can’t.” Not tonight, not next week, not even after Angelo was gone.

  Rose gave her hand a squeeze and held her gaze. “You have five languages I don’t understand a word of. Try one of those.”

  “If I could tell you everything, I would,” Maji began, in Farsi. “I would tell you about my work, about my fears, about how badly I wish I’d met you before I gave my life to the Army. But I can’t. I can’t even tell you why I can’t tell you. All I own anymore is my thoughts—and I’d give them all to you, if I could.”

  Rose gave a soft tug, no harder than a dance lead, and Maji stepped into her arms, clinging fiercely with her face buried in Rose’s neck. She wanted to cry, or scream, but all she could do was vibrate silently, inhaling Rose’s warmth.

  “Sh, it’s okay,” Rose murmured, stroking the back of Maji’s head. “No one’s making you do anything you don’t want to. Let’s just try one night without fear.”

  Without letting Rose go, Maji pulled herself to her full height, nearly as tall as Rose, and lost herself in those deep brown eyes sparkling with golden flecks. Still in Farsi, she said what she’d been afraid to admit, even to herself. “I love you.”

  Rose might not have understood the words, but the intensity of them took her breath away. She cradled Maji’s face in both her palms and kissed her deeply. When they came up for air, Maji murmured more indecipherable words and peeled Rose’s shirt off, running her hands over her bare back as they kissed again.

  Before Rose even realized that she had walked backward toward the sinks, her backside pressed into the counter. The memory of what she had wanted to do that first night in the kitchen hit Rose, and she slid her hand up under Maji’s shirt, pulling it over her head. She ran her hands over Maji’s hard shoulders and corded back muscles, and reached the waistband of those infuriating little shorts. Rose slipped her hands inside them, finding no barrier to Maji’s hot skin, and cupped her butt, pulling Maji tight against her. Feeling increasingly feral, she broke their kiss and nipped Maji’s neck. “Naked. Now.”

  Maji took a half step back and shimmied her shorts off, then reached for the drawstring to Rose’s pants. As they whispered to the cool tile floor, Rose reached again for Maji, looking her in the eye. Maji growled out an untranslated phrase, some kind of demand.

  “Yes,” Rose said. Whatever Maji wanted from her—yes.

  Maji crouched slightly and grabbed Rose by the hips, boosting her up onto the counter. She ducked one shoulder under Rose’s knee and lifted her other foot up, letting it rest by the sink basin. Then she slid one arm around Rose’s hips and leaned in. Rose gasped at the first touch of Maji’s mouth, and the second, and…the feel of her fingers, teasing. Rose braced her foot against the sink and hung on to the towel dispenser, her naked back against the mirror. “More,” she managed.

  Within seconds, Rose stopped making words altogether. What she shouted, even she couldn’t decipher. And then she laughed, overwhelmed by the rush of pleasure and the absurdity of writhing on a restroom counter. As Maji started to kiss her belly, Rose grasped her shoulders and levered herself up, wrapping both legs around Maji’s waist.

  Maji gave a deep-throated groan of satisfaction and buried her face between Rose’s breasts. She sucked one into her mouth and caressed the other, then rolled the nipple hard.

  “Maji!” Rose arched and reached for her fierce lover’s face, finding her eyes.

  The alarm in the green depths surprised her. “Hurt you?”

  “No,” Rose answered. She took two calming breaths while Maji waited, concern and desire warring in her eyes. “No more countertops. I want you in the shower.”

  They tumbled into the nearest shower stall, leaving the curtain open. Rose backed Maji up against the wall, pinioning her arms over her head while she explored her neck, her clavicles, her breasts and ribs. The warm water sluiced over them both. Rose sought Maji’s mouth again, but set her arms free, their fingers entwined. “Open,” Rose breathed into Maji’s ear.

  Maji pressed one foot against the far wall of the shower enclosure and nodded, seeking her mouth again. Rose sucked Maji’s tongue into her mouth and slid inside her incredibly sweet, hot wetness at the same time. They cried out against each other, the kiss breaking and reforming while Maji thrust her hips to meet Rose’s hand, undulating slow and steady. Rose could feel Maji holding back, savoring the connection while the tension in all her muscles rose. She wrapped her free arm tightly around Maji’s waist and whispered her thumb over her lover’s clit. “Reach for it, baby,” she whispered in her ear.

  Nearly nose to nose, they breathed each other in, dancing in place. Maji’s eyes held Rose’s, yielding and slightly glazed. Rose pressed a little harder. “Reach for it.”

  Rose felt herself coiling up inside as Maji tensed all over and finally cried out, “Rose! Oh God, Rose.” She looked a bit shocked as she pitched forward. Rose caught her, holding her fast.

  Rose kissed her tenderly. Her own legs started to tremble. Maji’s arms on her back moved in slow circles, and the kiss grew deeper. Rose reached blindly for the knob and shut the water off.

  “Out?” Maji asked, still seeming almost disoriented.

  Rose nodded, smiling. Every nerve ending from her scalp to her toes tingled. But it was the effect she had on Maji that gave her the euphoria. That, and maybe a few endorphins, too.

  “Hungry?” Rose asked, handing Maji a towel.

  “Ravenous.” Maji felt her lips twitch.

  Rose rais
ed one eyebrow, failing to hide her satisfaction. “For food.”

  “That, too.”

  They patted each other dry, on track for supper until Maji began licking moisture from her neck. The hunger returning to Rose’s eyes inspired Maji to pull her close. Maji stepped back as Rose leaned in to kiss her, and the changing bench touched one calf. Maji sank onto the long, narrow wooden bench, pulling Rose onto her lap, across her legs. Rose shook her head and stood.

  Maji looked up, letting her disappointment show. But then Rose looked down and smiled, putting a hand on Maji’s shoulder to steady herself. She stepped across the bench with one foot, leaving the other between Maji’s legs, and lowered herself back down to face her properly. “I like to be able to see you,” Rose said.

  As Rose slid her gaze down Maji’s body, through the space between them, Maji fought the impulse to pull Rose’s hips tight against her own. Instead, she brushed her fingers along Rose’s cheek, her neck, her shoulders. She lifted one of Rose’s breasts to her mouth, sliding her other hand to Rose’s back for support as Rose arched in response, with a small sound of pleasure.

  Rose didn’t speak, just reached both hands behind Maji’s head and slid her fingers into the thick strands of hair, working the braid loose. Rose pulled Maji’s head back and gave her hungry mouth an exquisite teasing with her tongue. Maji heard herself whimper, an admission of wanting so keen Rose responded by delivering her whole mouth. Rose’s hips rolled against Maji’s thigh, moving of their own accord.

  Maji slid her free hand behind Rose, bringing the other around to the gap between them. At the touch of her hand, Rose’s pelvis tilted forward, seeking. Maji broke the kiss, looking Rose in the eye. The need there shook her, not because she couldn’t meet it, but because she didn’t trust herself to hold back when she did.

  Trembling with the effort of restraint, Maji slid three fingers slowly inside the lush wet silk, glorying in every sensation until the base of her palm met Rose’s labia. Rose pressed hard against her hand, and Maji curled the fingers inside her. Rose moaned loudly in response, and Maji nearly came just from the sound and sight of her pleasure. As the nearly unbearable sweetness swelled inside her chest, Maji thrummed her fingers against the tender spot deep inside Rose.

  Maji kept her eyes glued to Rose’s, the most beautiful sight she’d ever beheld, until Rose’s head rolled back, and she crushed Maji’s face to her chest. Although nestling between Rose’s breasts was delicious in and of itself, air was in short supply. Maji made a sound against Rose’s sternum, and Rose loosened her hold. Maji sucked in a lungful of warm oxygen and smiled up at her.

  Rose placed little kisses all over Maji’s face, laughing softly. A thought about six weeks of foreplay occurred to her, but they were bathed in sweat, and “You are so salty,” came out instead. She licked the base of Maji’s neck, heard a deep moan rising up, and felt Maji’s hand flex, still inside her. The immediate wave of pleasure rocked her sideways, and she felt dizzy.

  Maji moved slowly, holding Rose steady while she drew her hand out, sending aftershocks all the way to Rose’s toes. The sweetness of Maji’s touch and the tenderness in her eyes made Rose tear up.

  “Okay?” Maji asked, her voice matching her eyes and touch.

  “Perfect,” Rose said. “And hungry.”

  They helped each other stand on trembling legs, sliding against each other as they kissed some more. Rose started to press into her, forgetting all of her body’s other needs. Maji wobbled, the backs of her legs hitting the bench, and every muscle in her glorious physique hardened, bracing to keep them both from falling.

  Rose stepped back, pulling Maji with her. Maji followed her to the sink, where they stuck their mouths under the taps and drank deeply. Maji took her hand, and they walked to the showers in silent agreement. Rose turned on a tap and stepped in, pushing Maji toward the shower next door.

  When she stepped out, rinsed and refreshed, Maji handed her a towel, holding it at a safe distance. “Food next,” she said.

  Rose wrapped her towel around her chest, matching Maji. If that was all the English she got from Maji tonight, it would do. They headed back to the picnic in the office, beaded with cool clean water and leaving a trail of damp footprints on the hallway’s warm linoleum.

  The grapes weren’t chilly anymore, warmed with the room’s artificial heat. But the juicy flesh felt just as succulent, and they silently fed each other, smiling at the shared recognition of holding back—for now. They managed to consume some nuts and a few hard-boiled eggs, plus a whole pitcher of iced tea Maji fetched from the fridge. And then Rose gave Maji the look, and let her towel drop.

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Maji woke up, one hand touching Rose, mostly still on top of the sheet and pillows she’d found in the laundry room and turned into a makeshift bed on the mats farthest from the windows. They had moved apart in their sleep, seeking coolness without letting the contact go completely. She smiled and stretched. The tiniest hint of predawn showed through the front windows. It would be an hour or two until enough morning light reached them to worry about modesty. She checked her left ear to make sure the comm was still in. Her watch was secure, so she hadn’t lost herself so much she’d torn it off. And no alarm had sounded all night. Hallelujah.

  Rose reached out in her sleep and found Maji’s hip. The way she ran her hand inside the dip from hipbone to thigh, Maji knew she must be awake now, too. But she didn’t speak, not wanting to break the spell just yet. Her body moved in response to Rose’s touch, acting on its own accord, as it always did around Rose if she couldn’t manage to stop it. Today that didn’t feel like failure, and she tried not to think about what this gift of time and privacy meant. As her thoughts started to stray to the team and the mission, Rose’s nails running lightly over her ribs brought her back to the mat, to their world of two. She let out a purr and covered Rose’s hand with her own.

  Rose slid up against her back, spooning snugly with her mouth by Maji’s ear. “Have I mentioned how much I adore your body?”

  “And I thought it was my sense of humor that won you over.”

  “Welcome back to the English-speaking world.”

  Maji tensed at the reminder of her inability to speak the truth last night. Or had she? Rose seemed to get the message.

  She did now, too. “Use any language you want,” Rose said, pressing closer and nibbling the rim of Maji’s ear. “But be warned the…Farsi?…sets my blood on fire. Maybe it’s the delivery, not the words.” She slid her hand down the inside of Maji’s hip again, across her belly, and brushed it across her breasts.

  Maji arched, following the caress. “I don’t know nearly enough dirty words in my mother’s language,” she said in Farsi. Rose squeezed her nipple in response, rolling it lightly as she dipped her tongue into Maji’s ear.

  “Touch me, Rose,” Maji said in Spanish. “Comprendes? Tócame. Cógeme. Poseéme.” She tried to roll toward Rose, but Rose only let her get as far as flat on her back.

  Rose moved over her, stretching her arms over her head and nudging her legs apart with a knee. “Te comprendo, querida.”

  They had just dozed off again when Maji tensed, waking Rose. “What?”

  “We have twenty minutes to get decent,” Maji said. “Hannah’s on her way over.”

  “Damn. Your comm’s back on, then?”

  “Yeah.” Maji kissed her scalp line, inhaling deeply.

  She’s missing me—us, or this, anyway, Rose thought. Well, that made two of them. “Tell them thank you,” she said, raising her voice a bit.

  “Ang…” Maji growled. She sighed. “Message received.”

  “What did he say?” Rose propped herself on an elbow and looked Maji in the eye.

  “Nothing that bears repeating.” Before Rose could prod her, Maji stopped and listened again, frowning. “Yeah, that I’ll tell her.”

  Maji was up in a flash, offering Rose a hand up off their makeshift bed. Rose took it and wrapped the sheet around her nakedne
ss. “Break it to me gently.”

  Maji gave her a brief, tender kiss. “It’s time to pretend again. I’m sorry.”

  “Well,” Rose began. “Oh, fuck it. I suppose there’s no point in being pissed. We both knew it was a time-out, not a honeymoon.”

  The look on Maji’s face made Rose regret her choice of words, even as it shifted into a wry smile. “Je ne regrette rien.”

  I regret nothing, Rose translated mentally. “Good. After last night, if I catch you brooding, I may take it personally.”

  Maji gave her a soft smile and the barest whisper of a kiss before walking toward the locker room, naked. She paused and looked over her shoulder. “Let’s get dressed. I’m hungry again.”

  * * *

  Despite the debriefing Hannah held for the girls and instructors first thing on Friday, they still wanted to relive the excitement over the lunch break.

  Maji enlisted them to help instead. “We’re still hiding out,” she said. “You go on out on the porch, look normal for us. Okay?”

  Being good kids, they looked disappointed but took the task as a consolation prize.

  “Do you think Hannah would mind if I took a nap in her office?” Rose asked.

  “Not at all,” Hannah replied from behind them.

  Rose jumped. Now she knew where Maji got her sneaking-up skills. “Thanks.”

  If Hannah noted Rose’s embarrassment, she didn’t show it. “Getting home should be uneventful, but you’ll want to be as sharp as possible, just in case.”

  Watching the back door close behind their sensei, Rose said, “She must know.”

  “Hannah knows pretty much everything. About everyone.”

  “Well, she’s very gracious about it.”

  Maji gave her little half shrug, and an almost smile. “She likes you.” She popped into the laundry room, then handed a pillow and a crumpled sheet to Rose.