by Elise Faber
But since that wasn’t on the docket, I slipped into a bathroom, pulled out my makeup bag, and made the best of it. I brushed teeth and hair, fixed smudged eyeliner, and added lip gloss.
Taking a big breath, I focused on my reflection in the mirror, encouraging the fierceness in my pale brown eyes. I nodded once in approval, shoved my makeup bag into my purse, and marched toward baggage claim.
I had this.
I so did not have this.
I was ridiculously incompetent: fumbling with my knives, calling ingredients by the wrong names, and forgetting to wash my hands after handling raw chicken.
So freaking stupid.
I could do these recipes with my eyes closed, but I couldn’t apparently do them with the black, unfeeling eye of the camera fixed on me.
“I’m sorry,” I said as Tammy came over. “I’m nervous. I know I need to get it together.”
She smiled, but her gaze held concern. “Don’t worry. Nerves are totally normal.”
What was not normal, I was sure, was the amount of bungling I was accomplishing.
Stupid. So stupid. I was going to ruin my marriage and this opportunity in one shot.
“Why don’t you step outside and take a quick break? Call home, zone out for ten minutes. I’m going to have the studio cleaned up, and we’ll start again for a few more takes.”
I nodded and wiped my—now clean—hands on a towel. “Okay. Thanks.”
The studio I was in was on the third floor of a building somewhere in New York City. I said somewhere because I literally had no clue where I was, other than surrounded by skyscrapers, traffic, and chilled air tinged with the stink of too many cars and people.
New York was some people’s mojo, but it definitely wasn’t mine.
A car had picked me up from the airport and driven me straight to the studios, where I’d met several executives. That part had gone well. They were friendly and we’d had a good rapport.
Then had come the camera.
Staring at me.
I shuddered and pulled out my phone to call Kel.
At the last moment, I changed and called Rob.
I don’t know if it was because I was alone and he’d always been my rock. I don’t know if I was glutton for punishment. I don’t know if I just missed my husband and wanted any piece of him that he was willing to give.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
My heart clenched hard. I needed him and he wasn’t there. Again—
“Hello?”
My words caught in my throat, stifling my response.
“Miss? You there?”
For some idiotic reason, I nodded, though he couldn’t see me, and the lack of my answer made frustration radiate through the airwaves.
He sighed, and I heard a rustle, knew he was about to hang up.
“Rob,” I whispered, thinking it was too late, that it was too quiet, that he was already gone.
“Melissa.”
It was just my name in his voice, but it meant so much more. “Hey,” I said. “I just—”
“Needed me.”
My nerves slipped, the sadness slid away. Irritation flooded in instead.
“I don’t—”
“Melissa. I talked with Justin when I came home last night and Kelly was driving you to the airport.” His voice went a little harder. “Thanks for letting me know about the trip, by the way.”
“I told you I was going. Plus when were we supposed to chat?” I interjected. “You haven’t exactly—”
He ignored me. “I’m assuming you’ve arrived in New York and you’re second-guessing yourself. Every time that you do something out of your comfort zone you do this.”
“I—”
“You’re good enough, Miss. Trust that.”
I paused, letting the words wash over me, holding them close.
“If that’s it, then I need to go.”
I pursed my lips together. Throwing me a tiny bone, then right back to normal.
At least I knew where I stood.
“Thanks for the pep talk. It was—” I shook my head. ”You did your duty. I won’t bug you again.”
“Melis—”
Pressing that red circle felt good.
I turned my phone to silent when it rang again and stared at the lock screen as I rejected the call. Allie and Max had their arms around each other and were giggling like fools.
This is why I was here. So they could see me as enough. Not just their mom, not just a robot to clean up after them, a short order cook to make their meals.
I had value and—I closed my eyes, took a long inhale, and let it out slowly—I wanted them to see it.
I wanted Rob to see it.
I—
“Ready?”
Tammy smiled at me from the open doorway.
Slipping my phone into my pocket, I smiled back. “I’m ready.”
18
“That was fantastic,” Tammy said, clapping her hands together.
I breathed a mental sigh of relief and set down the plate I was holding. “Once I got over the camera.”
“That’s the hardest part,” she agreed and came forward, hugging me tight as she whispered in my ear, “Nothing’s set in stone, of course. But this is going to knock everyone’s socks off.”
I pulled back slightly, taking in her kind blue eyes, porcelain skin, and curly red hair. She was beautiful in an Irish nymph sort of way. “You think?”
A nod. “I know.”
My knees felt a little weak, but it was from joy and relief, rather than fear for a change.
“Well, phew.”
She laughed and slipped her arm around my waist. “Now come on, we have time for an early dinner before I have to get you back to the airport.”
“That sounds perfect,” I said.
New York wasn’t so bad, I thought an hour later, eyeing the gorgeous plate in front of me and not wanting to ruin its beauty by sticking my fork in it.
“Pork belly with caramelized walnuts, a cranberry vinaigrette, and micro greens,” the server said.
“Aka very tasty bacon,” Tammy said with a wink.
“This looks incredible.” The pork belly was a gorgeous brown, and when topped with the crimson-colored dressing and edible flowers, the whole effect was stunning.
“If you keep looking at it, it’ll just get cold,” Tammy whispered.
“True,” I said with a grin and dug in.
Then promptly moaned.
So, so good.
“Okay,” I said once I’d finished the entire portion, stopping just short of licking the plate. “New York may not have the wide open skies and fresh air of Utah, but it’s not the worst.”
“If you love food, there’s no better place,” Tammy said.
At that moment, as a plate with a gorgeous chocolate tart was being set down in front of me, I found I couldn’t disagree.
“Mom!” Justin and I walked through the door to find the kids sitting at the round table. Kel was perched on the countertop, eyeing the coffee pot like it was a pile of gold and she was a marauding pirate.
“Have a cup,” I told her as the kids jumped up from the table and hugged me tightly. Their little arms could squeeze hard when they were motivated. I squeezed back. “Missed you little munchkins.”
“I already had one,” my sister said with a pouty lip.
Justin scooped up Abby and wrapped his free arm around Kel’s waist. “Decaf?” he offered.
My sister frowned. “What’s the point?”
“The taste?” Justin said.
“If there’s no caffeine, there’s no point,” Kelly declared. “I’d rather have my calories in chocolate. Or—oh!” Her eyes found mine as I stood and the kids ran back to the table to finish their breakfast. “Can you make that blueberry pie again? With the fresh whipped cream? And the crumbly crust?”
I laughed. “Sure. Let me get the kids off to school, and I’ll whip one up.”
&nb
sp; “Oh,” Kel’s eyes flicked over my shoulder. “I thought Rob was taking them.”
“Rob’s at work—” I turned, words stopping when I saw my husband standing in the doorway behind me.
“Can Daddy drive us, Mom?” Max asked.
Traitor.
But I smiled and nodded, not looking at Rob as I crossed to the fridge and pulled open the door. “Of course.”
I didn’t miss the look Kel and Justin exchanged as an awkward silence fell over the kitchen. A silence that was broken when Allie spilled her glass of milk all over the table and floor.
Perfect. A distraction was just what I needed.
I snatched up a towel and a bottle of cleaner, reassuring Allie when she would have started crying that it was just an accident and not a big deal. I bustled around, mopping up the milk, pouring another glass for Allie, grabbing a pack of cinnamon rolls out of the freezer and shoving them in Kel’s hands as I all but pushed her, Justin, and, consequently, Abby out the door.
My sister gave me squinty eyes over her shoulder and I knew a hard conversation was coming soon.
Ugh.
But Rob was behind me, still in the doorway, still quiet and staring. I called goodbye to my sister, Justin, and Abby then whipped up two lunches for the kids and crammed them into their backpacks, which I plunked onto their shoulders.
“Hurry now,” I said, “or you’ll be late for school.”
Hugs and kisses to the kids, swirling around, avoiding my husband, being a busy bee pretending all is perfect.
“You forgot to kiss Dad, Mom,” Max said. “You always kiss Dad.”
I froze, eyes locking with Rob’s.
He leaned in. I bent forward, closed my eyes, and waited.
His lips hit my . . . cheek.
“All right, buddy,” Rob said. “Let’s hit it before we’re late.”
I thought I was a strong person, but in that moment I felt very weak.
The kids were out the door. The house was quiet. I was alone and holding a carton of blueberries.
What the hell was I doing with my life?
19
“Hey,” a feminine voice said two days later. The greeting was accompanied by red nails scratching lightly down his spine.
Rob shivered, slung an arm around Celeste’s waist to tug her tightly against him. She slid closer still, and plunked her ass into his lap. He shifted, adjusting those hourglass curves sideways over his legs.
“Is that a banana in your pocket . . .” she began, lips curved up and one perfectly shaped eyebrow raised.
“No,” he muttered, jutting his chin up and flicking his eyes over her shoulder when she glanced back at him.
Her bottom lip slipped out for a moment before she sighed and looked forward.
They were in deep, four towns over where Celeste had stumbled upon a lead for who was dealing in the Tri-Hills. And by deep, Rob meant that he didn’t know the next time he would be home. He hadn’t been able to tell Melissa or his co-workers about the case.
It had all happened fast. He’d pitched Celeste’s plan to his chief and they’d fine-tuned the cover—Rob was out on parole for an arms deal gone bad. Celeste was his girlfriend who liked the white powder too much.
Celeste’s source had then secured them a meet . . . or rather an invitation to a party filled with addicts and criminals.
The rest was up to them. They were to infiltrate the group and find the supplier.
And because there was some suspicion that the dealer was being assisted by dirty cops, he and Celeste were strictly reporting to their chief, who was working with the police chief of this town on a one-on-one basis.
It was a shit show. A twisted mess and a plan that screamed half-cocked. Alone and one wrong move could mean their lives.
But Rob just had to think about the murdered girl to get his head on straight.
If he didn’t solve this, if he didn’t manage to remove this poison from the Tri-Hills, Allie could end up the same.
Damaged. Broken. Scared.
Dead.
So for now, they partied. The house was gross, stinking, and disgusting. There was booze, piles of drugs around—lines of coke literally dotted every flat surface in sight—and what he assumed were illegal guns.
He was fucking miserable.
When he’d been promoted to detective, his thoughts had drifted toward stolen pies from the bakery and teenagers releasing goats in high school hallways.
Not drugs and weapons and murdered girls in nondescript warehouses.
Not a woman who wasn’t his wife sitting in his lap while he was deep undercover.
Not a wife who seemed intent on frosting him out and choosing her precious recipes over him.
Or a family who didn’t seem to miss him when he was gone. He’d left a note because it was early. Had expected a text or call in response before he’d had to lock his personal cell phone away.
Instead, he’d gotten nothing.
Maybe he’d been working too long of hours for too many years. Maybe he’d put other people before his family. Maybe he’d pushed everyone away.
But he couldn’t get that young face out of his mind, nameless, lifeless, and so pale. Her body stained with blood and bruises. Her skirt shoved up, fear fixed in the position of her limbs, in the scratches and marks on her arms.
She’d fought.
And he was throwing everything he had into fighting for her too.
Celeste laughed—a shrill, annoying sound that grated on his nerves. But the man sitting across from them seemed to like it. He crooked a finger at her, and Celeste clambered out of his lap, flashing him her red lace thong in the process.
He used to think that ass was gorgeous, but now it just seemed like she was trying too hard.
She dropped herself in the man’s lap—tall, expensive suit, clear eyes unlike the rest of the druggies in the room—ran her hand down his chest, and leaned up to whisper in his ear.
The man glanced down at Celeste, studied her for a long minute, then smiled as he trailed fingers up her thigh.
Rob stood, ready to stop the man from assaulting his partner, cover be damned.
Celeste stopped him.
By grabbing the man’s hand and tugging it higher.
20
“What do you think about my nails, Auntie Kelly?” Allie lifted her hand and showed off the alternating pattern of purple and bright pink. “Mommy says she’s going to put sparkles on too.”
I smiled and glanced over at Max and Justin, who were watching some animated show about teenaged superheroes. “Should we do Aunt Kelly’s next?” I asked, smiling teasingly at my sister, who was about as far from sparkles and hot pink as a woman can get.
Allie giggled, which made Abby laugh, and Kel raised her hands in surrender.
“Not for me, silly girl. Nail polish doesn’t hold up too long in the stables.”
Justin glanced over, winked. “But I was looking forward to seeing you sparkle.”
I sent him a mock-glare. “You’re supposed to say that your wife always sparkles.”
“I wasn’t sparkling much when I was losing my guts this morning.”
I glanced back at my sister. “Oh no. Has it started already?”
She nodded. “Worse than last time.” A shrug. “I guess that’s to be expected with two of them this time.”
Allie cocked her head. “Two of what?”
We all froze before Justin came up with the best distraction for my horse-crazy Allie.
“Horses. Two new ones in the stables.”
Allie shrieked. Which made Abby shriek. Which made Max glare and cover his ears.
“Actually, we have three new horses boarding this week.” Kel’s eyes caught Justin’s, and I had difficulty holding back my jealousy at the shared look of understanding that passed between them. Rob and I used—
No.
“One is only two years old,” Kel continued. “With the cutest heart-shaped marking just between his eyes.”
“R
eally?” Allie clapped her hands together, probably mussing the polish I’d just painstakingly applied. “Can I come tomorrow and see him? Please? Please?”
Kelly laughed. “You know you’re welcome any time, but,” she added when Allie began spinning in circles and jumping up and down, “you need to check with your mom first.”
I glanced down at my phone, frowning when I saw the calendar jam-packed with after-school activities. “Tomorrow isn’t going to work, sweetheart.”
The bottom lip came out.
God, she was cute. It wasn’t going to work, but she was still cute.
“Max has soccer, and we’re driving carpool, and you have Girl Scouts right after school.” I shook my head. “We just won’t have time to get out to the ranch.”
“But—”
“We still have our riding lesson the day after, so we’ll go over then, okay?”
The bottom lip didn’t move.
Then it did, transforming into a brilliant smile.
“Daddy can drive me.”
Her dad, whom I’d texted and hadn’t gotten any response from. Who’d simply left a note saying:
On a case, not sure when I’ll be home.
-R
Was that days? Hours? Weeks? Months? For how long?
Her dad. Who’d already been gone for two days, and I was still no closer to answering any of those questions.
“Dad will probably be working,” I said. “We can’t—”
I cut the words off before I could say “count on him.” Because our kids didn’t need to hear their father wasn’t reliable.
“Dad is never home,” Max grumbled.
I didn’t affirm that I had been thinking the same thing for a while. Instead I said, “Dad does a very important job. He’s helping to keep everyone safe.”
My sister made a noise, but when I looked over at her, she wouldn’t make eye contact with me.
I frowned.
Max sighed. “I know,” he said, his voice wavering the slightest bit. “I just wish that he could make some of my games. I’ve been working really hard.”
Max had been practicing hard. He’d been practically living and breathing soccer for weeks.
