by Patti Larsen
I don’t comment. I can’t. There’s nothing to say. I’m silent so long Sage drifts into sleep, breathing regular against my forehead, heartbeat slow and deep. I can’t find my own calm, awake with my mind turning for hours, though I’m grateful he manages to get some rest.
I’ve treated Sage like a toy, at times, a secret love I told no one about. And though I’ve known all along he has his own feelings, hurts, desires, passions, I’ve ignored them in favor of my little fantasy. But this is a real life, his is an existence outside my personal experience. And now he’s at risk, his whole world, the people who love him about to lose him.
I’ve been so selfish. As much as I want Sage to be cured, I can’t put my desires first. I must find a way to save him and return him to his family, even if that means we are truly done forever.
I wince inwardly. When I chose to let him go before, it was a girl’s vanity and pride that drove me. This time, if I get the chance to release him, I will do so out of love, not the call of duty or petulance about my future. I will make sure Sage is safe and happy, without me.
***
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
I almost leap out of my skin at the shout in my head. I must have dozed off after all, weakening my shields. My heart pounds painfully as I gasp a breath and shove Syd back.
Please, I send as I wall her off, stay out of this.
Charlotte. Her words worm their way into my head. Stubborn, bull-headed, frustrating weregirl! Damn it, let me help you.
I won’t have you put the family in danger for me, I send back, firmly closing the gap. I won’t, Syd. And neither would you in my place.
She fights me, but I win at last as Sage sits up, eyes wild, but human.
“What’s wrong?” He’s reaching for his pack while I climb to my feet and take my own, slipping the straps over my shoulders and pulling them tight. The rumbling of the boxcar we’re using for transportation makes it hard to hear him, even for my sharp wolf-assisted ears. I head for the partially open door, looking out into the dark. It’s been a long night. We’ve crossed the country once again, it seems, heading for Luhansk far to the east to lay false trail. But now that Syd has found me, we have to disembark and find another route. I wouldn’t put it past her to come looking for me and I just can’t have that.
I look out into the very late night and hear, to my relief, the engine ahead begins to gear down, the rattling slowing as the train reduces speed. “We must be coming up to a station,” I say.
“Luck is with us,” Sage says, tightening up the straps on his own bag. He winces as the left strap cuts into his shoulder, but never complains.
“It is,” I say. “May it continue so.” I feel Syd prod my mind, but she misses more than she hits. Our movement is making it hard for her to pinpoint me. Which means we need to catch another train, hopefully toward the border. Doing so should shake her off.
“There’s a town.” Sage leans far out, one hand holding the door. “Not far. We should jump before the train stops.”
I nod. “Ready.”
We wait another minute until the train is barely moving before we leap out into the brush at the side of the tracks. I crouch there, watching the cars pass, waiting for signs we’ve been spotted, but nothing happens. Sage is grinning again and I wish he wouldn’t. Because I smile back, as though this is fun somehow and not life and death. His life and death.
I lead the way once the train is past, over the metal rails, skirting the back end of the train yard and through a thin copse of trees. A roadway sits on the other side, past a deep ditch filled with brush. My hands reach for Sage as we slip down into it, helping him climb the other side.
He is sweating and cursing softly under his breath when we reach the top. “Sorry,” he says through gritted teeth. “I’m holding us back.”
He is. But he’s the reason we’re running, so I won’t begrudge him the time it takes. “You’re injured,” I say, as gently as I can as we shake off the clinging bits of twigs and leaves we brought up with us. “We’ll manage.”
“I’m just not used to being weak.” He bounces his pack on his back, wincing. “This is so frustrating, Charlotte.”
My fingers trace the line of his jaw, compassion tightening my throat. “I know,” I say. “I’m sorry, Sage. I wish this hadn’t happened to you.”
He grasps my hand in his, green eyes intense. “On the other hand,” he says, “this is the most time we’ve spent together ever. And I’m turning into a werewolf. Kind of. Which means maybe we don’t have to be over.” I just stare at him. He has no idea, even now. I thought he understood. This changes nothing between us. But he looks so determined, do I dare shatter his hope?
I choose not to, turning instead on the road, looking into town. Sage hesitates beside me, but I shrug. “We need food,” I say.
His eyes light up. “Starving,” he says.
The town is small, but not tiny, big enough to lose ourselves for a few hours. A beat-up hostel sign draws me in and we rent a space in the ancient house. The young man at the desk seems upset to be disturbed at such a late hour, but he grumpily hands us keys anyway before going back to his nap.
Luck again. We don’t have to share a room with anyone else, able to take one on our own. But when I try to leave Sage in the tiny space, he resists me.
“I can move around easier on my own,” I say. “And you need rest.” I point at his shoulder. He’s rubbing it absently. As though just noticing, he drops his hand with a wince of guilt.
“I’m fine.” He stands and I push him down again.
“I’ll be back.” I leave him without another word, hoping he’ll behave himself. As I step out into the street, hands in my pockets, shoulders hunched against the cold, I wonder if I’m wrong. Maybe I should have brought him with me. But he’s not trained to go unnoticed like I am, and if something happens and his wolf appears, he will give us away for certain.
At least this little place offers no danger. I feel no sign of Enforcers or werewolves, no scent to warn they’ve been here. Just slightly suspicious and watchful early morning townsfolk, like every other small place in Ukraine. It’s an hour before dawn, but the sun is late to rise this time of year, and the shops are already opening for business.
Food is easy to procure, a healthy slab of sausage smothered in sauerkraut and two servings of fresh bread, steaming from the oven. I’m salivating over them as I carry the bundle back to the hostel, thinking of my next move.
If the border is being watched, we’ll have to find an unguarded place to cross. There are certain areas I know we can make it without dealing with normal authority, though it’s possible the Enforcers know about them, too. I’m out of resources to tap, refusing to go back to Iosif for more help. We’re on our own, but I have faith I can figure it out.
I have to figure it out. Failing Sage is no option at all.
As a fresh whiff of bread reaches me from the container in my hands, the hostel just ahead, I think of Syd. I’ve been shoving her away, but we could ask her for help. Not direct, not to have her come to us, but maybe some other assistance? I don’t want her involved, not because I don’t trust her, but because I love her and the coven. It’s comforting knowing I can go to her, though, if things fall apart completely. And she did offer, though she’s given up for the moment. But if I can keep her out of this, I will. She might be all-powerful and think no one can harm her, but if she stands against Femke and the werenation, not to mention her own witch Council, she puts her whole coven in danger.
I can't do it. Not after everything she’s done for me.
Last resort, then. And only if her help can be taken without putting her family at risk.
The trouble is I know I can get Sage to California eventually. But will we make it in time? Sage might not feel like a real revenant, but there is no doubt he’s changing. Seeing his wolf rising proved that to me. And we’re already a day and a half out, or more. I have no idea when Sage was bitten, specifically. According to Femke’s fil
e, we only have a week at the most.
Five more days, tops. We’ll just have to make it work.
I catch a familiar scent as I climb the stairs, but when I sniff again, all I smell is bread. Still, I come to a halt at the top of the steps, hyper-focused on the world around me. I know that scent, but from where? I almost toss aside the food, the heavy aroma of sausage cutting off my ability to separate smells.
But no, there’s nothing. I’m imagining things, fear making me nervous and stressed. And yet, I am careful in the final steps to the door to our room, the bundle of food balanced in one hand as I reach for the knob with my right and draw a deep breath.
Letting it out with an anxious sigh as I step inside.
Sage looks up with a shrug. “Company,” he says.
Maksym and Isabelle, my werefriend and the vampire girl he loves, offer little waves as I sag against the door behind me.
***
Chapter Five
I don’t get a chance to respond. Sage’s face alters suddenly, mouth open as he pounces on me and wrenches the food containers from my hand. He sinks to the floor, stuffing sausage and bread into his mouth while I push away from the door and cross my arms over my chest, ignoring the snuffling, grunting sounds from my love as I glare at the pair seated on the bed.
“Don’t be angry,” Maks says, hands up, distressed. He looks almost comical, his handsome, broad face scrunched like a boy who knows he’s done wrong. “Please, Charlotte. We’re here to help.”
Isabelle nods, rising, leaving the hulking form of her dark-haired boyfriend to come to my side and hug me. I relent, hugging her back, breathing in the hints of rose and oil I always scent from her, mentally kicking myself. The aroma I caught in the hall was so familiar because it was hers mixed with Maks. Despite my slip of security, it’s good to see familiar faces, though Maks looks concerned by Sage’s behavior, watching him eat with his wolf in his eyes while food disappears in massive bites through Sage’s lips. Even Isabelle shudders when she looks down at him.
“He’s fine,” I snap, bringing their attention back to me. Sage looks up, then down, as though only then realizing what he’s doing. He stands with the remains of the food, bashful smile sweet as he offers the mess he left behind to me.
“Sorry,” he says.
I shake my head, too anxious to eat now. “Finish it,” I say as I turn to the pair who have hunted us down. I’m even more worried than ever, seeing them standing here. “How did you find us?” If they did, we are more vulnerable that I thought.
“We’ve been searching everywhere for you,” Isabelle says, taking a seat again, prim and ladylike beside her muscular wereboyfriend. “When Sydlynn contacted us and told us where she found you, we assumed you would depart the train and find another route. We just lucked out tracking you here.”
“Who else did she tell?” I don’t mean to be harsh, and I trust Syd completely, but…
“No one.” Maks shakes his head with some violence. “She told us in confidence, warned us on pain of death to be discreet. She wanted to come herself, but she said she would instead find a way to mask your movements against others who search for you.”
Bless her. I sag a little in relief. She’s found a way to help even if I refuse direct aid from her.
“She suggests we try Wilhelm Castle,” Isabelle says. “Sunny will welcome both of you and protect you while we figure out what to do.”
“There is nothing to figure out,” I say. “If Sage goes back, he’s dead. And I won’t let that happen.”
Isabelle glances at Sage who stares into the remains of the food, mind obviously far away. “He’s changed?”
“Just his eyes so far.” I shrug. “It was inevitable.”
“I’m in the room,” Sage says, “in case you’ve forgotten.”
I reach down and stroke his hair. “I know,” I say. “I’m sorry.”
He stands, setting the empty containers aside, wiping the back of hand over his mouth. “You’ve been running this show,” he says. “Dragging me out of there like I didn’t have a choice. Well, I want choices, Charlie.”
He doesn’t know what he’s asking. Or what’s good for him.
Isabelle stands and comes to us, touches his hand. “What do you want to do, Sage?”
He shivers at the contact. Does he sense she’s not human? I’ve told him of vampires, but I don’t think he knows she’s one.
“Who is this Sunny again?” He turns to me instead of addressing her.
“She is the queen of the Wilhelm family,” I say.
Sage blanches. “Oh, yeah. Right. The vampires.” He shivers before looking at Isabelle. It’s dark in the room, but almost dawn. I know she’ll be forced to flee from us soon. “You’re one of them?”
She laughs, a tinkling sound, as Maks reacts with a growl to Sage’s nervous question.
“I won’t hurt you,” she says. “Promise.”
Sage relaxes visibly, shaking himself. “Sorry,” he says. “This is all new to me.”
Isabelle nods, brushing off his fear before turning back to me. But her question is for Sage. “Then tell us, what do you want to do?”
Sage rolls his left shoulder. “Will going to the queen put her in danger?”
I don’t answer, leaving it to Isabelle.
“Possibly,” she says. “But she’s willing to take that chance.” She smiles at me. “For Charlotte.”
Sage’s thoughtful expression makes me weak in the knees. “You seem to have a lot of powerful people who love you enough to put their lives on the line to save you.”
“And the one I love,” I say.
Isabelle nods. “I can’t take you now,” she says. “It’s too close to dawn. But if you two can hide here for the day, we’ll be back, with help.”
I nod, taking Sage’s hand. He seems optimistic about this idea. “We’ll see you at dusk,” I say.
Isabelle looks relieved, though Maks squints at me, at how easily I’ve given in. I wave them off as Isabelle flickers into shadow, taking her frowning werewolf lover with her.
The instant they are gone, I lunge for the bed and grab the two backpacks. Sage gapes at me as I shove his into his arms and spin, heading for the door.
“Where are you going?” He stands there, the pack in his hands, mouth open in shock.
“As far from here as we can get,” I say. “Before dark falls.”
Sage resists. I can smell it on him, my magic feeling his defiance.
“If this queen of theirs can help us,” he starts.
“She can do nothing,” I say. “She was there when you were first bitten, Sage. She tried, Sebastian tried. Syd’s best people tried. And nothing. So running to Wilhelm will only get us cornered and caught. Please.” I draw a breath, forcing down my panic. “You have to listen to me. I’m going to save you. But only if you trust me, and only me. I can’t fight you every step of the way.”
Sage caves, coming to my side. He smells of sausage and bread and the musk of a wolf. When he kisses me, I kiss him back with passion. And when we part, the fire of our embrace between us, he nods.
“Always,” he says. “I trust you with my life.”
“Then come on,” I say, pulling him along behind me. “We have to get out of here.”
It’s a short hike through town to the other side. We may be forced to hitchhike, though I would prefer to take another train. Anonymity is our best choice at this point.
“We’re on our own, then, aren’t we?” Sage sounds resigned.
“You knew that,” I say, doing my best not to be sharp with him.
“I guess,” he says. “It’s just sinking in now. We’ve had so many of your friends try to help, I figured something or someone would come to our rescue.” He makes a silly face. “I’m an idiot.”
“No,” I say, sighing as our feet match pace down the rutted pavement and the chill of the late September wind cuts through our conversation. “Not an idiot. Just optimistic. It’s one of the things I love—” I choke
off. I can’t speak of love and such things right now. I can’t afford to lose my focus.
Sage’s hand grips mine. “So what’s the plan?”
“We stay low,” I say, “and out of the reach of the Enforcers. Syd might be doing her best to distract them from us, but she’ll only succeed for so long.”
“I still can’t believe it,” he says, a little laugh in his voice. “Syd Hayle, a powerful witch. I mean, I knew there was something about her when we trained.” He runs his right hand through his hair, over the stubble on his cheek and chin with a rasping sound. “I figured she was some kind of special, hiding in plain sight, especially with you watching over her. But I had no idea.”
I squeeze his hand. “That’s the point,” I say. “Normals aren’t supposed to.”
He shivers. “Normals,” he says. “I’m not one anymore, am I?”
Not by a long shot.
I’m distracted from the melancholy of our talk by the faint whistle of a train approaching. “Come on,” I say, pulling him along beside me, running toward the sound. “Our ride is calling.”
By the time the train chugs past, one of the open cars beckoning, I’ve shaken off the sadness roused by our chat. But when Sage and I leap onto the rocking platform, landing in unison, I feel it return. He wedges himself carefully between a pair of tarped-over piles of crates, pulling me down next to him. I would have preferred a boxcar with walls, but this will do, especially when he slips his arms around me and cuddles me close.
I have no idea where this run will take us, ultimately. Or if he’ll ever be normal again. But these moments together, when I can almost pretend everything is right in the world and we’re just on an adventure, helps me forget for a time, or pretend to, at least.
***
Chapter Six
I crouch in the tree line on the near side of the Ukraine border and watch a jeep rumble past. This section used to be unguarded, the fence easy to climb. But someone has increased security. If we are to pass here, we must be very cautious.
