by JB Sanders
"Unless you already did, someone has to call Janine. I haven't called her in almost two days, what with everything going on. You?"
"Oh, shit!" Lance pulled out his phone, looked at the face of it and winced. "I've got nine voice mails and sixteen text messages from her."
"Right, so -- heads or tails?"
"Heads."
Glen flipped the coin. It tottered in the air, spun for a second on the table, and then came up tails.
"Crap." Lance sighed.
"Be sure to call Mom and Dad, too." Glen licked the last taste of the chocolate mousse off his fork. "They'll be worried, and hearing from you directly will be better than any reassurances that I can throw at them."
"If you think it would be better, have the guys fix you up with a video conference with Janine and bring along Antoine." Tyler motioned at Tim, who nodded and moved off to make arrangements.
Lance smiled, and put his hand on Antoine's shoulder. Antoine looked alarmed.
"Is this the scary Janine you tell me about?" Antoine asked.
"Yup. I'm going to throw you under the bus that Janine will be driving." Lance laughed. "Seriously, she'll love you -- I do."
Antoine smiled, though it looked a little strained. "O-okay."
***
"Alright, so hit me with it. What have you already figured out?" Tyler sounded tired.
They'd said their good nights to everybody and collapsed on the bed in their master suite. For a flying ship, it had a marvelous amount of luxury.
They lay on their backs, looking up at the moonlit clouds drifting by. It wasn't an actual window, it was some fancy screen built into the ceiling, but it looked remarkably realistic. It was amazing watching the stars at night from their comfy giant-sized bed.
"I've got most of it, I think, but I have no clue how you pulled it off." Glen reached over and took Tyler's hand. "Don't fret, you still have plenty of magic."
"Oh good, I was starting to lose hope and think that you knew all my tricks."
Glen kissed Tyler. He looked like he needed it.
"Alright, so, you knew about these King's Club guys because of that trunk your bad grandfather left with your good grandfather in Scotland, right?"
"Yeah, that and some papers in a safe below the island in New York."
"I'm having trouble believing we defeated a bunch of Nazis, in this day and age." Glen quirked a half-smile.
"Oh, those weren't Nazis. Those were sons-of-Nazis. And besides, I don't think they'd ever describe themselves that way -- they really do think they're descended from kings and entitled to rule the world. Idiots. If I hadn't had the big tip-off from dear departed Grandfather, I shudder to think what might have happened."
"And that tip-off is how you knew about the Nazi treasure and removed it months ago?" Glen smirked at Tyler.
"Months?"
"You can't make that many chocolate bars wrapped in gold foil overnight. Although I assume you had them in cold storage until the last minute, otherwise we'd have been looking at chocolate soup in those crates." Glen sighed. "I can't believe I spent all that time working out the treasure puzzle and you had already done it."
Tyler snorted. "You mean the puzzle it took me and my team of historians months to decipher and that you did in three days? That puzzle?"
Glen rolled over on his side to look at Tyler directly. "Really?"
Tyler rolled over to meet him. "Yeah, really. You big intelligent stud, you made those doofuses I paid look like idiots. Months on this! I mean, sure, they had to operate in almost complete secrecy, but jeeze louise!"
"Really, months?" Glen looked tickled.
"Yeah, seriously. So, what else?"
"The old spies on the river boat knew about Von Tieler's family safe deposit box in Switzerland, and knew which box number it was, right?"
"Yup, gotta love old spies -- at least, those old spies. I don't think anyone knew how much Von Tieler had tucked away in there -- it wasn't just his dirty secrets, he had files on all his Club members, too. That was an unexpected bonus." Tyler smirked. "For an evil mastermind, he was a little over-reliant on banks."
"And on bugs -- how much of the disinformation you threw at them was made up?"
"Almost none! That's the best part -- you know, the best lie has a little truth to it. Even better is if you use only the truth -- just not the whole truth, obviously. We let them in on our progress finding the treasure -- well, honestly on you finding the treasure -- and then let them assume that's all we were doing." Tyler shook his head. "Really, those guys lack some imagination. So, what else?"
"So, basically, I was the distraction while you prepared the punch."
Tyler kissed Glen. "You are an unbelievably good distraction." He kissed Glen again. "And?"
"Well, obviously you knew Tom was at Notre Dame from when you were tracking the treasure before--"
"--Yeah, he's just as good at lying as he was in college," Tyler said acerbically.
"Hmm, I'm guessing that smear Von Tieler had cooking you fended off with help from Jeb?"
"Yeah, he's a prince. We'll have to have him over sometime."
"How'd you get the arrest thing quashed? I didn't think you had any big friends in the French government?" Glen tilted his head.
"Ah, well, I don't have any friends in France like that, but ... Rebecca Sterling does."
Glen raised his eyebrows. "Well, that partly explains why she's here. Did you offer her the use of the island in exchange for her favor?"
"No, ah, the favor she did for us kind of ended up being a little more public than either of us anticipated and I suggested she might want to join us in secure storage until some of this blows over."
"No sexual escapades promised or implied?" Glen waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Tyler pursed his lips. "Tone it down, pal, or I'll have to pull this explanation over and force you to bend me over the side table."
Glen laughed.
"So, you knew the combination to the vault door and what bone to pull in the secret door." Glen gave Tyler a slightly infuriated look.
Tyler shrugged. "From Grandfather's notes. And yeah, ok, I was a little out of patience at that point, I just decided it was worth the risk that Theo might stop to think it odd I knew both those things. We were running low on time."
"Because of this bubble you had the bad guys in, right? How the hell did you and the security guys maintain something like that? I'd have thought you'd need--"
"--About four hundred people? Worldwide? Yeah." Tyler shrugged again, but a smile was dawning on his face.
Glen gave him a narrow look. "Ok, out with it. What's the big news?"
Tyler rolled off the bed, hopped up, pressed a button under the TV and a picture came up. It was a purple field with a gold sword stuck in an anvil, the word "Excalibur" beneath it in a very modern-type font.
Glen sat up to look at it better. He turned his head to the side. "Ok, that's a nifty logo, and I like the Arthurian tie-in, but what is it?"
"We have a spy organization." Tyler beamed.
"A spy organization."
"Yup! Field agents, researchers, a couple of spy satellites, a ton of computer geeks and a secret base or two."
"And you called it Excalibur?"
"Yeah," Tyler said, up on his toes in delight. "I thought it would amuse you."
"It does, although I have the uncomfortable feeling I'm Lancelot in this equation." Glen raised a single eyebrow, which he only did humorously. He just looked too goofy otherwise.
"Oh yeah, my code name is Arthur--"
"--Of course." They both said in unison.
"Jinx!" Tyler said, right before Glen could say it. They both grinned at each other.
"Uh, I don't suppose there's a Guinevere? I can't imagine who in our group would fall into that. It's not like we've got a love triangle going."
"I tried saddling Tim with it, but it wouldn't stick, so he's--"
"Let me guess, Galahad?"
Tyler smiled broadly and
nodded. Then he came over and kissed Glen. "It's amazing how well you know me, sometimes."
"And scary. Who'd you fit up as Merlin?"
Tyler ran his finger up and down his nose. He looked a little embarrassed. "We, uh, hired George's brother."
Glen raised his eyebrows in surprise. George, one of their best security agents, had gotten into some trouble back during their Scotland adventure. He'd been framed for murder and the only way to prove his innocence had been to pull his brother, a Colonel in the United Kingdom's Special Air Services, out of a top secret operation. It had gotten George off, but it hadn't made Colonel Stanton's superior's very happy. Last Glen had heard, the Colonel was taking early retirement.
"What's awkward about hiring the Colonel?"
"Well, between pulling him out of that operation in Scotland, and then poaching him once he took early retirement, the UK intelligence community isn't exactly happy with me."
"How'd you get Lance and Antoine UK passports, then?"
Tyler smiled. "Oh, that." He waved the problem away. "The intelligence boys don't like me much, but the Home Minister simply adores me. We did ferret out a huge-ass smuggling operation, capture all the bad guys and let her take full credit."
"Yeah, that would do it. So how is Oliver working out?"
"That man is a demon in the field, and he has some kind of magical talent in overseeing field agents. They worship the guy."
Glen pursed his lips. "You know, something only now just occurred to me. I'm not sure why it took so long -- I guess because I generally think you're some kind of superhero already."
"Thanks!"
"How did you get up to speed on all this spy stuff so fast -- wait! All those little three and four day side trips you took when I was studying at St. Andrews? Those were training sessions, weren't they?"
"Yeah, those were bitchy. You would not believe how seriously they take those training sessions -- it's like a sleep-away camp for adults that doesn't involve sleep." Tyler shuddered. "I learned a lot -- I mean, a ton -- but no way do I want to repeat the experience."
"So when do I get to meet the Excalibur staff?"
"I've got a party arranged on the island once things calm down a little. I want you to know everyone, since we're both running this show."
"We are? Didn't look like it this week." Glen sounded a little put out. Not much, but just a shade more than he'd thought he was.
"Hey!" Tyler pulled him up and into a hug, looked up urgently into Glen's face. "Seriously, I'm never running an op like this again. Doing this without you was way too much work, and not nearly as much fun as I'd thought it'd be."
"Except for this?"
"Yeah, ok, the show-and-tell bragging session is nice, but not enough payback for the work I put in. Next time, it's both of us all the way."
"Deal. Although the puzzle was a lot of fun to solve."
"Good. I was worried it was just me-big-he-man being all in charge this week and no fun for you." Tyler sighed.
Glen looked up at the Excalibur logo. "So who do you have running the whole show? If Stanton is in charge of field operations, someone has to be doing the behind-the-scenes stuff. Pretty big job and I'm guessing there's no way Tim could do all that and cater to your every crazy whim."
Tyler smiled ruefully. "Oh yeah, no way at all. He barely kept up with his end of the op here. No, we got the perfect person for it. I'll tell you the code name, and you guess: Lady in the Lake."
Glen pursed his lips thoughtfully, and rubbed Tyler's back absently. "Ok, obviously that would fit your Nanna, but while she does still have all her wits, she's not healthy enough to run a group like you're talking about. Not that she wouldn't have lots of solid advice and know exactly who to...no!"
Tyler nodded, watching Glen realize. He turned Glen slightly, pulled a little apart from the hug, and used a remote to change the channel. Rosa, the super-spy who had originally been their shadow back when the US government wasn't too sure about them, popped up on the screen. She smiled, shooting them a look. Behind her was a bland blue concrete wall.
"I see you two have found the bedroom again. Am I interrupting?"
"Nope!" Tyler barked a laugh. "Though I think we'll keep this part short. Glen, meet the Lady in the Lake, head of Excalibur, Rosa."
"Yeah, we've met. We had dinner three weeks ago in ... oh, that was a planning meeting, wasn't it?"
Tyler and Rosa nodded.
"Keeping the setup for this thing quiet has been a royal pain in my ass." Tyler frowned.
"And not just his ass, let me tell you. Tim and I have barely had time to exchange two romantic words." Rosa twirled a pen in her left hand as she talked. "But I think we've run a successful first operation and shaken the bugs out."
"Rosa, once you finish the hand-off to the intelligence and law enforcement communities, fly down here and you can share the blue cabin with Tim."
"Now that is an assignment I can handle right now. Mimosas and the boyfriend on a beach." Rosa looked down at something in front of her. "By the way, I heard back from Mary in Dunberry -- she sounded ok with putting off the tower celebration until you boys can visit the Castle."
"Are they that far along already?" Glen put his hand out like he was measuring someone's height. "I thought the west tower wasn't going to be done until later this year."
Tyler shrugged. "I was hoping we could go back to Dunberry for our anniversary, and figured we could do the rededication when we were there. With the west tower done now, they can concentrate on the south tower and have it all done for October." Tyler looked back to Rosa. "How is Mary doing running the Castle?"
"Fine. She's consistently under budget and on time with the projects, and the tourist trade has really picked up. I think she's really happy there, although I think she might be happier if George had more time off."
Tyler smiled. "I'll see what I can do to have him stationed there permanently -- we do need to have someone overseeing security at each of our homes, and I can't think of a better person to handle it."
Rosa made a note. "I'll pass that on to James -- security is his thing."
"And what's next?" Glen looked between them.
"No idea. Well, the first thing we're doing is taking a couple of weeks off -- I need the rest. Well, I need the non-stressful rest." Tyler grinned up at Glen in a way that would make spinster Aunts either titter or harrumph.
"And that's my cue," Rosa said sarcastically. "Catch you guys later. Don't forget you've got about fifteen interviews tomorrow with the news channels, all via video chat, of course."
"Right, thanks, Rosa. You and your team have done a great job. Take a break." Tyler nodded at her and shut off the TV.
"So, the way I see it, you pulled off a hat-trick." Glen gave Tyler a slightly mocking bow.
"I did?" Tyler looked genuinely confused.
"Oh yeah. Watch: you ran a con job on five world-class bad-asses, fooled your humble husband about what you had cooking, and you took me on a romantic get-away vacation at the same time." Glen gestured. "Hat-trick. A Tyler Conrad hat-trick."
"Wait, romantic get-away vacation? Really?"
Glen held up his hand, holding up a finger for each point he made. "We kissed on the Eiffel Tower. We had a candle-lit dinner at the best restaurant in town. We toured the Louvre. We went shopping. We went to Versailles, and held hands in the garden." Five fingers.
"Trying to buy stolen paintings on the black market counts as shopping?"
"Sure. It was fun, in it's own way. Plus we did buy things. Seriously, you pulled off all three at once." Glen kissed him.
"Wow, I did, didn't I?" Tyler grinned.
"And you have scored major husband points."
"Are those redeemable for sexual favors?" Tyler shot back immediately.
"Hell, yes. Wanna see what you've won?" Glen gave him a very pleased smile, his eyes nearly closed.
Glen pulled Tyler close and kissed him.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Television, Television<
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Sunday, during the day
"Tonight we have Tyler Conrad, the architect of the downfall of the World Fascist League, and his husband Glen Merriwether."
The polished, handsome man in his late fifties turned slightly from the camera to regard Glen and Tyler on the split screen.
"Gentlemen, welcome to the program."
"Thanks for having us, Brian." Tyler was accomplished, well-dressed, suave. Glen had tried to talk him out of the suave, but it hadn't made any impression. TV and Tyler was always a dangerous combination.
"So we've had our expert commentary, a break-down of the events from the combined law enforcement agencies of five countries, and a joint press conference given by our President and the leaders of Germany, France, the UK, and Spain. I think our viewers have a pretty good handle on this thing, but what can you add?"
"I've heard a lot of people refer to this thing as the Conservative Conspiracy, but that's just wrong," Tyler managed to sound fair-and-balanced, and yet also use that tone teachers in 8th grade get when a student has presented a clear and concise argument that is also plainly wrong. "The way I see it, this thing was nothing less than another fascist attempt to take over civilized society. Even the name, the King's Club -- these guys really thought they were entitled to be the secret rulers of the world."
Brian shook his head. "And yet they came so close."
"Well, here's the thing. Yes, they had a lot of politicians and bureaucrats in their pockets, and they could have run a lot of things for quite a while, but in the end it wouldn't have held up. It never does. This is the internet age, and all it would have taken was for someone's website to be right long enough for the right people to notice."
"And they didn't control everything, just a few important countries," Brian said.
"Exactly. It's not like other countries are completely powerless or without resources. As rich as we are, Glen and I are not much against a whole country of people. The thing is, if it had gotten that far, it would probably have had a pretty bloody end."
"Now, what do you say to those people saying that you cooked up this conspiracy as a bid for international attention? Or as some kind of bid to take over the world yourself?" Brian gave Tyler a sly look.
