But, the man still posed a threat. What had them all concerned was that he would go to the papers and out Ryan, and no one knew exactly how the fan base, the community, would react to finding out they had someone ‘not normal’ in their midst.
By and large, Emma had been quiet as the morning progressed, but Ryan could see that she was deep in thought. Nudging her foot with his own, he murmured, “What’s going through that pretty head of yours?”
He was surprised when Emma wouldn’t meet his eyes but rose and began to pace the length of the conference room they were using in the Blizzard’s practice arena. “We’re thinking of this all wrong. His only hope for getting any satisfaction out of this was to get charges pinned on Ryan, and then using any sort of media coverage of that to out him.”
“And what makes you think that his failure there will stop him?”
Pausing briefly in her pacing, Ryan watched as Emma gave the PR woman a half-smile. “Me. He’s not going to want anything to do with the Times because he’ll assume I could run interference or otherwise influence an article.” At that the smile on her face faltered before what he recognized as a fake smile made its way back on her face, and he understood immediately. He and his family were the only ones who knew, who understood, just how much her job already was in jeopardy for their relationship – the idea of her interfering in an article wasn’t just laughable, it would be grounds to get her fired.
With eyes drooping in exhaustion, Luke peered up at Emma. “So, what are you suggesting?”
“That we stop preparing for the right now and instead start preparing for the time however many days, months, or even years down the road that he does force Ryan further out of the closet.” Emma paused at that point and this time did gaze at Ryan, and he could see a mixture of love and sadness in her eyes. “The problem is,” she began, as she kept her eyes locked on his, “You guys are looking at this only from the team perspective. How does this affect the team? The bigger question you should be asking is how many LGBT professional hockey players are there?”
“LGBT?”
This time it was Gabi who spoke up. “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender. You’ve been researching, I see, considering you didn’t know what the…”
“Ferme ta gueule.” Emma growled at her, interrupting, and Ryan had to bring his hand to his face to choke back a laugh at both Emma’s choice of words and the look on Gabi’s face. “There are exactly zero active LGBT professional hockey players.” She let the words sink in before she turned her gaze back to Ryan again with the same sad but loving eyes. “So babe, if you’re getting outed, it’s not just gonna be here. It’ll get picked up on social media and it’ll spread like wildfire. You will become national, if not international news. That is what we need to be preparing for.”
Almost immediately several small side conversations started to occur but Ryan noted that Emma still paced. Rising to his own feet he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She resisted briefly before leaning back against him with a sigh, and when she finally spoke again, her words were only loud enough for him to hear.
“You aren’t ready for that yet, love. You aren’t ready to bear the burdens of an entire community, and it’s not fair of anyone to expect you to be. But we may not have any choice in the matter.” She turned in his arms and leaned her forehead against his before continuing. “I can’t write any articles. I can help, but to do anything beyond that would be asking for the non-frat clause to be enforced.”
“I understand.” He told her immediately, though he was still trying to wrap his head around everything she had said. What he’d thought was just a simple locker room conversation was now potentially turning into much more than he ever could have anticipated.
She leaned in and kissed his nose before pulling back and turning to the group, voice still soft, and almost resigned. “Ideas, anyone? An article will need to be written, prepared at least for that inevitable time.”
“We could commit to making the arena a safe environment for all people, regardless of gender.” Luke paused a moment, searching for a word before his eyes lit up and he continued, “Orient-tation. Or anything. That the arena is a safe place for them to be themselves. Maybe make 2 giant posters of it. One for outside the locker room, one for the arena, which all the players have signed.”
Ryan nodded and glanced towards the team PR folks. “I’m sure the guys would be willing to make a video.” He paused briefly to glance at Luke, who nodded agreement before continuing, “So we should try to make that happen. Maybe, if people realize it’s no big deal to us, it won’t be a big deal to them.”
“And to think you guys said that I was naïve.” Emma snorted soft and Ryan turned to face her with a raised eyebrow. “Sorry love, but no matter what we say or do, it’s going to be a big deal. We’ve just got to prepare you for that as much as possible, to try and lessen the impact of the distraction when it does occur.”
Bristling a bit, Ryan folded his arms across his chest. “I do not want to be a distraction.”
Behind him, out of the corner of his eye, he could see Luke shrugging. “We all are at some time or another for various reasons: illness, our play, whatever. She’s not trying to insult you, Ryan, she’s just calling it like it is.”
“I need some air.” Ryan and Emma both said at the same time, and while the rest of the room laughed, they eyed each other with mild annoyance. Still, they both went all the way outside the building, settling on the steps to the practice arena and soon ending up side by side. As they sat, Emma slid her hand into his and finally told him softly, “I’m in this for the long-haul babe. I wouldn’t be wearing your ring if I wasn’t. Whatever comes of this, we’ll deal with. But we’ll deal with it together.”
Turning his head just a bit, Ryan kissed the top of her head and gave her hand a light squeeze. “I love you.”
“I know. I love you too.”
Chapter 30 - About that Bet...
In the almost month since the incident at the arena, it had been quiet – almost too quiet if Ryan was going to be honest with himself. Emma had spent a great deal of time working with one of her sports department co-workers on drafting up an article about him coming out: when he knew, how he told people, even how Emma felt and how it affected her. It was a good article – and he had in fact snagged a copy of the photograph of the two of them that would be used if the article were to ever be published – but he truly hoped it wouldn’t have to be.
It had been hard getting used to traveling with the team to away games again, especially knowing that he would be a ‘healthy scratch’ with absolutely no chance of playing. While he for sure didn’t mind sleeping on the bus or in hotel rooms (particularly since Trent had offered to let him share a room with Luke), it still felt strange to spend days at a time away from Emma.
And yet, Ryan understood if this was to be his career, his life, these types of stretches would get much longer the higher he played at. These teams were all in the mid-west, all in bus riding distance; that wasn’t the case even one level up, where the teams were spread across the US and Canada. Part of him wondered if it all was worth it. He’d be done with a teaching certificate program in a few more weeks – he could always fall back onto that if the need arose.
But this road trip was different than road trips past – Luke had been given a call up to the team that had loaned Kensy to the Blizzard, and that meant Ryan had a hotel room to himself. The team had suggested that Trent and Ryan share, but both had protested so loudly that it wasn’t ever brought up again, and each found themselves their own solo rooms when they arrived at the hotel.
Trent had been unusually quiet, and though Ryan wasn’t certain his thoughts were right on the time frame, it seemed like ever since the night of the fight at the arena. Trent, made interim Captain in Luke’s absence,was still as much of a leader on and off the ice as ever. He still didn’t hesitate to throw his weight around to protect a teammate or his goalie, but there was something off about him.
So after a game that saw the Blizzard pull out a narrow win, Ryan knocked on the connecting door between their rooms, unsure if his teammate would answer or not – but was surprised when a recently showered Trent did indeed gaze quietly at Ryan on opening the door. “Can we talk?” And on Trent’s lowered shoulders and sighed nod, Ryan continued, “What’s wrong?”
Shaking his head a bit, Trent’s voice was soft – a tone Emma would recognize as his wary voice – and told Ryan, “I basically outed myself at the same time you did and it went over all their heads. And while they’ve all accepted you as who you are – maybe by your own merit, maybe because of your cousin – what happens when they realize about me? Do they question every glance I’ve made in the locker room, the showers, even though the only guy who’s ever caught my attention is you?”
Ryan blushed at the final bit but beckoned Trent into his room, tossing him a bottle of water he’d snagged earlier from the vending machine and indicating the Captain should sit, which he soon did. Pacing a bit, hoping his words would come out correctly, he asked, “Is that why we didn’t see you when all hell was breaking loose over the Johnson shit?” When Trent barely nodded, Ryan continued again, “Everything they said to me, it holds true for you as well. You’re their teammate, not only that, you’re their Captain. They respect you immensely, and they’re going to continue to do so even if you at some point take up a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend.”
“I wish I had the confidence in those words that you do.”
Shrugging a bit, Ryan admitted softly, “I don’t think I would have believed it myself if guys hadn’t made it a point to tell me that I was still their equal, their teammate, after all that shit. I think had they realized what you were saying, they’d have made the same effort to you. But it more came across that you knew someone wasn’t straight, for certain, less that it was you who wasn’t.”
“Maybe someday I’ll have reason to believe that. But in the meanwhile,” And Ryan briefly wondered if Trent was done with the conversation when he went back into his own room and disappeared for several moments, before he soon came back with his ‘ice bucket’ filled with ice and beer. “May as well share these. Because if we’re playing 20 questions tonight, I’ve had something on my mind since the beginning of the season.”
Cocking an eyebrow, but grabbing a beer and taking a swig, Ryan inquired, “Beginning of the season, eh? We talking before or after my injury?”
“Before. When it looked more like it would be Emma with me instead of you. The day you two moved in, you were fighting with Luke,” and off Ryan’s surprised look, Trent explained, “Emma told me. She’d gone up there, overheard you two, something about betting to bed a girl first. And I presume Luke won that, and a long time ago at that. It’s just always bugged me, it seemed so out of character for you to do something so disgraceful.”
Choking on his beer, it took Ryan several minutes of coughing – and a hard thump on his back from Trent – before he finally caught his breath again, staring at his teammate with wide eyes. “Wait. You’re telling me that she is the reason you knew about that bet? It wasn’t something you heard about from Luke?”
“Yeah. Amusingly enough, she said she hoped you won, because then your sister would stop trying to play matchmaker.”
Closing his eyes, feeling the weight of the world bearing down on his chest, Ryan’s voice was soft, almost devoid of emotion. “Even though that bet only lasted until she wrote that article, you could say I did win.”
It took several minutes – and the sound of Trent downing one beer and then another before a low growl finally emitted from Trent. “She was the object of the bet? And I’m guessing she has no fucking clue, right?”
“You’d be correct on both counts.” Ryan whispered in response.
“You ass. I’ll say this though, if she doesn’t kill you when she finds out, I will be happy to volunteer to do so for her.”
~*~
Emma was a woman with a plan. Though she hated going out into the busy local market alone, hated the crowds and the noise, she had a list and a motive, and knew exactly what she needed to do.
Still, if only her mother could see her right now, Emma mused to herself. She’d be horrified by the thought of her eldest daughter shopping amongst the regular people - and buying food she intended to make herself. Granted, Emma wasn’t sure how much success she was going to have in the baking department, but she was sure the effort had to count for something. Particularly since Ryan would be arriving back from his road trip shortly.
She’d been careful to pick out a box of cake mix with easy to follow instructions and a clear list of ingredients and then had ensured that she purchased every one of those ingredients – even if she thought they may have already had it back at the apartment. Emma was taking no chances in messing up Ryan’s birthday cake!
Frosting was for sure the most fun thing to pick up – there were all sorts of sinfully delicious varieties of chocolate out there and while she was tempted to pick up several, she finally decided on one that promised to be ‘better than sex’. While Emma sincerely doubted that any frosting could be better than sex with Ryan, she also knew he would get a good kick out of the name.
With her shopping complete, Emma had returned to the apartment to start the baking, preheating the oven while she made a mess of the kitchen. Luke was sure to have a fit if he ever came back to see mix and such all over his spotless counters. Once the assembled mix was in the pan, Emma stuck it in the oven, heading off to her office to work on reviewing one of Ryan’s assignments while she waited for the cake to bake.
Emma was so engrossed was in the paper that she was completely oblivious to how much time had passed – or what had become of her cake – until she heard Ryan’s frantic shouting. “Emma?! Baby?! Where are you??”
On hearing his yelling and coughing, Emma leapt from the computer and sprinted off to the kitchen, seeing the smoke pouring from the stove. “Shit!” Flipping the stove off and opening the outside door to let the apartment air out, Emma turned to give the still alarmed Ryan a sheepish grin. “I. Uh. Made you a cake?”
Emma thought she saw a flicker of something else cross Ryan’s face before his mouth quirked into a grin and he started laughing. “Oh baby.” He managed between chuckles. “We so are a match set. Neither one of us can be trusted in the kitchen!”
“Oh hush.” Emma retorted while playfully snapping a towel in his direction. “I didn’t start the apartment on fire.”
“Not for lack of effort.” He quipped while trying to avoid her towel snaps.
Wiggling a finger at him, Emma murmured. “Keep up that mouth and there’ll be no dessert at all for you mister. I may have burned the cake, but we still have frosting.”
It took him a moment longer than Emma would have expected, but Ryan’s eyes did light up and a lewd grin curled over his lips. “Why darlin’, are you implying doing dirty things with that frosting?”
Smirking a bit in his direction, Emma snagged the frosting tub off the counter and wiggled her eyebrows in Ryan’s directions before shooting him a coy smile. “Would I do that?”
“Oh yes. Yes, you absolutely would.” They both all but bounced from the kitchen off towards the bedroom when Emma paused and gazed back over her shoulder at Ryan.
“You stink. And you could use a shave.” Ryan’s brow furrowed and he reached his hand up to the face he had just shaved that morning while Emma shook her head at him. “Not there, love. Use your imagination.” And again, it took Ryan a long moment before his eyes widened and then lit up.
“You don’t hafta do that.” He told her soon before Emma shushed him silent with a kiss.
“I know I don’t. And don’t think that’s all we’ll be doing. But I figured that would be an extra little treat for your birthday.” Teasingly, Emma traced her tongue over her lips, watching Ryan tremble as she did so. “Now go. I’ll be waiting for you.”
As soon as Ryan bolted off towards the bathroom, Emma we
nt back to the kitchen to slam the kitchen door shut and then headed into the bedroom. Grabbing Ryan’s present from where she’d hidden it, she set it in front of his pillow. Once everything was in position, Emma stripped and posed as provocatively as she knew how, just waiting for the moment when Ryan came out of the shower.
He was in for the shock of his life – in more ways than one!
~*~
It took Ryan a good 10 or 15 minutes before he finally emerged from the bathroom wearing nothing more than a smile, and already at full attention. Emma took a long time looking him up and down, watching as Ryan’s face grew increasingly crimson at her silent attention. “Birthday boy,” She finally purred at him, “C’mere. I want to taste you.”
Just Another Season Page 19
