by Serena Grey
“What NDA?” I ask, an involuntary frown working its way to my face.
Reiko studies my face. “I...” for the first time since I met her she seems unsure what to say. She frowns, obviously uncomfortable. “I’m just not supposed to tell anyone about you.” She says finally.
I swallow, trying to keep my face calm even though my mind is churning. “Of course.” I pause outside for a moment while she joins Mrs. Daniels in the dressing room. A Non-Disclosure Agreement! Why? I don’t understand.
Is David keeping me a secret?
I think of the beauty team, the only other people I’ve met. Do they have orders not to mention me to anyone too?
Reiko and Mrs. Daniels are hanging up clothes, talking pleasantly about how to organize the closet. I can’t bring myself to join them. The questions are raging in my mind. Why am I a secret?
Why am I such a secret that people have to sign a contract before they can see me.
My mind goes into overdrive, churning out possibilities.
Is he ashamed of me, ashamed of his spur of the moment decision to tie himself to me? As far as I know, he could be working with his lawyers now trying to find a quiet way to get rid of me.
Is there someone else, someone he would rather be with maybe, someone he wouldn’t want to find out about me?
Everything starts to fall into place. Almost a week in Seattle, and I have never been anywhere with him.
Leaving Reiko and Mrs. Daniels in the dressing room, I find my tablet and go to David’s study. There is a soft leather sofa near the door, and I sit there, starting the tablet and going straight to the web browser.
I’ve looked at the web encyclopedia page on him before, but I didn’t really read it. I was just psyched that he had one. Now I go through the little summary window at the side. It has all the information, like his date and place of birth, alma mater, etc. but there is no field for spouse.
There would be one if anyone knew about me.
I’m a secret.
Why?
My phone rings, startling me.
I look at the screen and see David’s name. I spend a few seconds debating whether I want to talk to him. With all the emotions raging within me, I’ll probably get hysterical if I try to ask him what it all means.
I take a deep breath. “Hello.” I say quietly.
“Sophie.” I try not to get lost in the warmth of his voice, at least not until I understand what’s going on.
“I hope you can go out tonight.” He says, putting a big hole in all the conclusions I’ve drawn.
I’m silent for a few moments, confused. “You want us to go out together?”
There is a short pause at his end. “Yes.” He says finally.
So apparently, I’m not going to be a secret anymore, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s had people sign a document to keep my existence quiet. “Where?” I ask.
“Just dinner.” He says, naming one of the more popular restaurants in the city.
“Oh. Okay.” I still don’t understand any of it, but I decide to wait until he comes home to ask him about the NDA.
When I finally come out of the study, Reiko has already left. I spent a few minutes putting away my sketches, still deep in thought. A few minutes ago, I was convinced that he was keeping our marriage silent because he wants to end it with as little fuss as possible, now I’m not sure of anything. It’s frustrating not to know where you stand with someone who means so much to you.
I should select something to wear from my new wardrobe, but my thoughts are in too much of a mess. I think about calling Stacey to pour out my confusions to her, but I know how worried she’ll get.
Finally, I return to the living room, still deep in thought, and find myself face to face with a stranger.
She is an older woman, in her late fifties or early sixties, tall and slender, with thick wavy black hair and sparkling blue eyes. There’s something vaguely familiar about her straight nose, determined chin and sharp cheekbones. She smiles at me, the expression on her face welcoming and warm, as if we’ve known each other for a long time, and are on the best of terms. I cast a curious glance at Mrs. Daniels, who’s standing by the foyer door, not looking happy at all. I turn back to the woman.
“You must be Sophie.” She declares, still smiling, and immediately I know who she is.
She moves towards me, determined and graceful. I’m not expecting the warm hug she gives me.
“I’m Marianne Weber,” She coos, stepping back to take a good look at me, “David’s mother.”
I’ve already guessed as much, but I still turn to Mrs. Daniel’s for confirmation, which she gives with a small nod, still looking extremely unhappy.
Briefly, I wonder at the misgivings that are so clear on the housekeeper’s face, then I turn back to my guest. “I’m pleased to meet you.” I say politely.
“I didn’t believe it when I heard,” She exclaims. She sounds playful and intimate as she leads me to a couch, “and you are so cute.” She gives me a smile that is so like her son’s. “Won’t you tell me about yourself? How did you meet David?” There’s something about her that instantly invites confidence, or maybe it’s just that I’ve gone through life desperately wanting a mother. I find myself wanting to talk to her. It makes me feel awkward.
“Well...” I notice Mrs. Daniels disappear into the kitchen. This is really odd. It’s obvious that whoever told his mother about me, it wasn’t David. I’m sure he has no idea that she’s here... and yet as she smiles at me, her sparkling eyes urging me to answer her question, I realize that I want to.
“He came into the gift shop where I was working as an assistant,” I say, “he wanted to buy a gift.” I pause, “for you actually.”
She laughs merrily, as if I’ve said something terribly funny, “and then it was love at first sight.” She states.
For me, it probably was, but I still don’t know about David, so I don’t say anything
She wants to know everything about me. As we talk, I try my best not to give away too much, and not to sound evasive either.
“You should go out,” she states finally, “make friends, meet people, and discover the city on your own.” Her voice is earnest. “I’m only here a few weeks every year these days, but whenever I’m in town we could have lunch, get to know each other better.
“That would be lovely.” I mean it.
I hear the elevator bell. Moments later, David walks into the living room, his face hardening to stone when he sees who I’m with.
It’s really early for him to come home. I immediately suspect that Mrs. Daniels called him to tell him his mother was with me. I look from him to his mother, and I’m sad to see the longing on her face. She loves him, I realize, and he’s shut her out. That’s his revenge for all the years she ignored him.
I get up from the couch. “I was just getting to know your mother.” I say cheerfully. I’m annoyed that he has kept her from me, but I’m also eager to ease the tension I can sense in the room.
“Isn’t that wonderful,” His smile seems made of ice, “and now she is leaving.”
“David...” her voice is a plea.
“David!” I exclaim at the same time, shocked at his rudeness.
He ignores me. “Why did you come here?” he says to her, the contempt in his voice unrelenting.
She sighs. “David, my son got married, and I had no idea.” She looks exasperated, “I just wanted to meet Sophie.”
Her answer doesn’t get anywhere with him. “I don’t want you here,” his voice is steel, “The next time you cajole anyone to let you in I will fire them.”
I see her stiffen, and square her shoulders. I hate that he is humiliating her. No matter their history she is still his mother.
“No, you won’t.” my voice is hesitant, but I can see that he’s hurting her, and I don’t like it, “and you may not want her here, but I do.”
David looks at me in surprise, his expression soon changes to exasperation. “Sophie.
..” he starts.
“No stop,” I interrupt, “Why don’t you want her here? Is it because you want to continue keeping me a secret? Why don’t you make her sign a non-disclosure agreement?”
His eyes narrow. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Don’t I?” I stare at him squarely, “didn’t you make the beauty team, the personal shopper, every person I’ve spoken to in all the days you’ve kept me hidden in this apartment sign a document to prevent them for saying anything to anyone about me?”
He runs a hand through his hair and glares past me at his mother. She shrugs, the movement of her shoulders saying she knew nothing about it. “You wouldn’t understand.” He says finally, his eyes meeting mine.
My annoyance turns to pain. It’s bad enough that he thinks it’s okay to keep me a secret, but to keep things from me because he think I don’t have the capacity to understand them is just insulting. Of course, I tell myself. It’s already clear that he doesn’t have any feelings for me. I’m just a willing body to him, a warm body he doesn’t have to tell anything.
I turn away from him and walk out of the room. At that moment, I almost wish that I’d never met him. I’m tired of the feelings that have taken over me, the love, the frustration, the desperation, the deep sadness that comes with knowing I mean nothing to him.
“I hope you’re glad.” I hear him say to his mother as I step out of the room. His voice is like gravel.
I pause, “I’m sorry,” I hear her say apologetically. “I had no idea.”
“Well now you do.”
There is a short pause, and then I hear her voice again. “An NDA seems rather extreme... Does this have anything to do with Carole Banks?”
I don’t hear what he says to her, but I hear her footsteps as she leaves. Carole Banks, I remember I’ve heard that name before, that first night in his study. Who is she, and what does she have to do with anything?
Chapter Five
MY TABLET IS STILL IN DAVID’S STUDY, so that’s where I go, hoping that he won’t follow me. I hate that I have to find things out about my husband from the internet.
I start up the tablet again as I settle on the leather sofa, and search for Carole Banks. I sift through all the many profiles until I find one that seems likely. She’s a heiress, with a social life that spans New York, Palm Beach and Europe. Born in Seattle, her father was Marshall Banks, a name that’s only vaguely familiar until I remember the name of the investor who helped to make David’s first fortune by investing in a video game company David started with a couple of his friends while they were still in college.
I search for her name coupled with David’s and the articles that come up fill me with dismay. I click on images, and what I see is the story of a long relationship that seems to span several countries and numerous events. There are pictures of them together at gallery openings, benefits, nightclubs, vacations, and even at her father’s funeral where she leans on him while he holds her hand.
It wouldn’t be so painful if they didn’t look so good together, he tall handsome and intense, she with her wavy red hair, deep green eyes and languid smile. A hot stab of jealousy passes through me, coupled with sadness. How could I have thought any of this was real? I can’t imagine how even for a moment, he’ll prefer me to her.
In all the articles, there’s a strong indication that the writers consider them a couple. The latest, which has them together at a book launch, is only a few weeks before I met David in Ashford.
The door opens and David steps into the room, looking worried. His expression changes to relief when he sees me sitting there.
“I’ve been looking for you.”
I shrug, turning back to the tablet, I’m angry, jealous and in love. It’s not a very good combination.
He comes closer to me and his eyes take in the search pages I have open on screen of the tablet. “Nothing you find there has anything to do with me and you.” He says.
I can feel my heart breaking as I look at him. Is there a ‘him’ and ‘me’? Right now, I’m not so sure. I want to ask him once and for all, how he actually feels about me, but I’m afraid I won’t like the answer. I turn back to the pictures on my tablet and stare at them for a long moment.
“Tell me about her.” I ask.
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Really?” I glare at him, “because it’s very clear here that she was your girlfriend only a short time ago.
He shrugs, “Don’t believe everything you read in the papers Sophie. We saw each other on and off for a while, but it’s been over for a long time.”
“Do you love her?” I ask, unable to keep the jealousy I feel from creeping into my voice. “Is that why you’re keeping me hidden, so that she won’t find out about me?”
He sighs and walks over to me, coming to sit beside me. I try not to be distracted by how beautiful he is, by the intensity in his eyes. I have to try very hard to breathe. “You don’t need to concern yourself about Carole.” He says, his eyes holding mine and keeping me captive.
I want to believe him so much, even though he hasn’t even bothered to answer my question.
“Her father invested a lot in your career.” I start, looking away from him.
“In return for a huge profit,” He says coaxingly, “It was good business, and he made money from Preston Corp every day we’ve been in existence.”
I close my eyes and take a breath. “All those pictures of the two of you...”
“Mean nothing,” he says, “We went to a lot of the same places, and people are used to mentioning our names together.”
I sniff, unconvinced. “Why don’t you want anyone to know about me?” I ask.
There is a long pause as I wait for him to answer my question. My breath catches in my throat.
He doesn’t reply. Abruptly, I get up, abandoning the tablet on the sofa. “Fine, don’t tell me.” I mutter, making for the door. If I needed any proof that I mean nothing to him, this is it. If he cared about me, he would tell me what I need to know. He wouldn’t keep me living in this limbo of not knowing where I stand.
His hand closes around mine before I get to the door.
“Sophie.” I turn around, hopeful, waiting for him to say something, but he stays silent.
I pull my hand from his. “Don’t touch me.” I say, my voice catching in my throat. “Don’t ever touch me again.”
He looks annoyed. “Stop being childish Sophie.”
His words are more hurtful than his silence, I turn from him and rush towards our room. I need to get away from him. I don’t care where I go. I just want to stop feeling as if I’m drowning in emotions I can’t control.
“Sophie, for God’s sake.”
I hear him, but I don’t stop. I rush through the bedroom towards the closet. The thought of leaving him fills me with physical pain, but I can’t stay with him if he won’t even talk to me.
He catches up with me before I get to the closet door. He pulls me into his arms, crushing me to his chest. “Stop,” He whispers in my ear, “Stop.”
I close my eyes, losing myself in his embrace, realizing, as I breathe in the scent of his skin, and feel the warmth of his arms around me, that I could never leave him, not when he can make me feel like this. I melt into him, so overwhelmed by the depth of my emotions, that I can feel the wetness of tears in my eyes.
He starts to stroke my hair, and I press myself to his chest. I can hear the rhythm of his heart beating. In this moment, it feels as if he’s mine, as if the deep longing I feel for him is being fulfilled. But I can’t be sure, I can’t be sure until he tells me how he feels.
“Why did you marry me David?” My voice is hardly higher than a whisper.
He pulls back a little, looking down at my face. “Because I wanted you,” He says, stroking my arms. My skin tingles where his fingers touch me, and I feel the last of my resistance melting. “I wanted you the moment I saw you standing outside that little shop in that small town, looking so lost
and alone. I wanted your innocence, your beauty,” he leans over and drops a soft kiss on the sensitive corner of my lips, “I wanted your body Sophie, I wanted to see your face when I make you scream my name.”
His words set a desperate fire to my blood. I lean into him, hungry for him. When it comes to this, I can’t fight him. I make one last attempt. ‘You didn’t have to marry me,” I whisper, “You already had me.”
“And then I wanted no one else to ever have the pleasure. Understand that Sophie,” He says, moments before his mouth descends on mine in a scorching kiss. “You are mine.”
My body melts and I press myself against him, aching to give him everything I am. I want this. I want him to belong to me, even if only for these few moments.
Soon my clothes are on the floor, and his soon follow. He carried me over to one of the two armchairs in the room and sets me down, kneeling on the floor between my legs. I wrap my legs around his waist and press my body against him, rubbing myself against the hard swell of his erection. I want him so much I’m aching. Impatiently, I use my hand to guide him inside me, moaning as his tip slides into my body.
He grips my ass and lifts me off the chair, pressing me towards him as he enters me all the way. My whole body weakens and I fall against him with a low moan. He moves out and plunges into me again, and I cry out, my body shaking. He continues to move, each stroke of his rock hard shaft driving me to a pleasurable madness.
Later, when I am weak from my climax, he carries me to bed, stroking my hair as we lie side by side on the bed, my head resting on his shoulder. I can’t help wishing that we would always be like this.
“You know,” He says musingly. “I owe you a honeymoon.”
“Yes you do,” I agree, “Somewhere that will ‘blow my mind’” I tease.
“Is there anywhere in particular you would like to go?” He doesn’t stop stroking my hair.
I sigh. “I would go anywhere with you.” I tell him, and I mean it.
He turns over, until he is leaning over me. The kiss he gives me is gentle and undemanding. I close my eyes. I can almost feel my consciousness dissolve into him. I’ve lost myself, I think. This is how love feels.
