“Understood, Your Highness.”
Meredith wasn’t given a chance to do her job. After a murderous glare in my direction, my ex stormed out of my great-grandpa’s home. I sighed my relief. “I’m too tired for this shit.”
If anyone had problems with me whining, I’d deal with them after I got some sleep.
My great-grandpa gripped the back of my neck, his touch light for a walking, talking grizzly stuck in a human’s body. “Come along, kiddo. It’s nap time for you. You can deal with your parental pests in the morning. I’ve got the suite ready with three bedrooms, but for some reason, I’m thinking you’ll only need two of them.”
A grizzly holding my neck ensured obedience, and I glanced towards Eva. “Please don’t kill anyone unless I’m watching.”
Eva laughed and graced me with a smile. “Only this once, and only because you asked nicely.”
“Good, because I only get one chance to watch you kill someone. But then again, if you managed to kill someone more than once, I’d be impressed.”
“I won’t literally kill anyone without just cause. I’ll just make the teddy bear cry, and that’s even better. He can cry more than once.”
I didn’t have to think long about it. “I can live with that.”
“I thought you could. March, you. It’s bedtime for you. The rest of the bullshit can wait until later.”
I stayed at my great-grandpa’s place at least once a year, but I’d never slept in one of the suites. The living room couch lured me without fail, although he wouldn’t let me head towards my desired spot, and he used Eva to ensure my cooperation. Once directed to the room he’d selected, I aimed for the nearest soft surface, which proved to be a couch, flopped, and passed out before I landed.
The six-hour scuffle in the car on top of everything else kept me down for twelve hours, and it took coffee, a treat banned for over two months, waved under my nose to coerce me into moving.
I regretted getting up the instant I lurched upright. Every muscle in my body screamed protest, and I considered rolling onto the floor and begging for mercy, painkillers, or both.
My current torturer waved the coffee mug in my face again. “You can’t sleep forever,” Meredith informed me. “You need breakfast before Dr. Hampford gets here and kills me. It’s bad enough we couldn’t wake you for dinner, but if you miss breakfast, too? You’ll need a new head of your detail. While she said to let you sleep until now, I hold zero faith she’ll have any leniency if I’m late getting breakfast into you.”
I groaned and made a grab for the mug. Only when she was confident I wouldn’t spill it all over the place did she relent and hand it over. “What time is it?”
“Six. You have time to drink your coffee, take a shower, and get dressed before breakfast will be ready. Just so you’re aware, Dr. Hampford is dictating what you’ll be eating all week.”
“That’s nothing new.”
“Well, I’m about to disrupt your habits, as the monarchs want you to have breakfast with them. I’ve already spoke to both of them, and I’ve come to the conclusion you should expect some groveling and general begging for forgiveness. I took the liberty of recording Agent Evangeline tearing into both of them over that woman’s presence.”
A recording wasn’t quite as good as being there, but I’d take what I could get. “Was there a lot of cursing?”
“She reserved certain words for the perfect moment, which made her barbs more effective than usual. A hesitant truce has been declared between her and the queen. The king was tenderized by a literal bear. There were minor injuries. As Christian watched without interfering, I wasn’t concerned.” Meredith watched me like a hawk as I sipped at my coffee and prepared to get on with my day despite being sore from head to toe. “I’ve been asked to make sure you sleep in a more dignified place while wearing pajamas tonight. I refused to allow anyone to relocate you in your sleep, and not even Agent Evangeline could coax you off the couch.”
“I’m genuinely surprised the bear didn’t come in and do it anyway.”
“He tried. The resulting hallway brawl amused me. Your newly rehired physical therapist and trainer enjoyed defending your territory. We have to come up with an official title for her, but we’re moving forward with the plan to have Agent Evangeline work as a principal while in her trainer capacity. Officially, there is no relationship between you. What you do off duty is your concern. However, there is the issue of that woman you had an altercation with yesterday.”
“We’ll talk about Gail later. Eva hasn’t rejected me yet?”
“Agent Evangeline is treating her conditional acceptance of your proposal very seriously. I’d be concerned, except having gone over her physical therapy regime for you, I’m tempted to fire her and have her sent to medical school. She’s thorough, has a very good eye for pushing limits, and should it work as Agent Evangeline wants, you’re going to impress everyone with your general recovery. Unofficially, your status is currently involved, and the woman you’re involved with is enjoying herself immensely.”
In a world of kings and queens, official meant paperwork signed and legalized. My relationship with Eva would remain unofficial until the day I coaxed her into marrying me.
The uncertainty of when and how that’d happened rattled my nerves, as though I walked a wire and expected to fall at any moment.
“Where is Eva?”
“She’s overseeing the kitchen staff; she currently has trust issues. I tried to convince her the bear’s staff had been in service to him for a long time, as did Christian, but she’s in there playing with one of their chef’s knives making certain nothing’s amiss. She’ll settle down in a few days, I expect. The presence of that woman yesterday infringed on her territory and made her rather overprotective. I thought it wise to leave it be. It’s not uncommon with newer agents, especially once they’ve settled into their role enough they’re attached to their principal. I will say this much: your judgment on her potential as an agent was spectacular, and I might request your aid with evaluations of RPS candidates in the future.”
Eva wasn’t the only one with trust issues. “If you think it’ll help. Honestly, I was trying to spin it to keep her around.”
“That much is obvious, but your spin and judgment were correct. Every quality you listed as a reason she’d be a good agent was accurate. I’d like to see if we can find more people like Eva, who are categorized in the lower castes but meet the minimum talent rating to work in the RPS. Too often, the RPS only recruits elites.”
“You won’t hear me arguing. Any idea of what my parents want to discuss?”
“They’re looking into options. His Majesty is the most sensible of the two, and fortunately, he has the legal right to override Her Majesty, so this shouldn’t turn out to be a disaster. Drink your coffee and take your shower. It’ll give you time to prepare.”
I’d need a lot longer than the time it took me to shower and drink my coffee to prepare for a meeting with my parents. “They’re probably going to ask what I’ll do when Gail opens her mouth and starts spreading rumors.” It would come, eventually. I expected the truth to be mingled with a lot of lies, lies I planned on unraveling through magic. Gail wouldn’t expect or appreciate my reaction, but if she decided to slander me or Eva, the entire Royal States would learn the truth.
After two months of caffeine restrictions, I appreciated the immediate buzz, which made getting up off the couch easier.
One cold shower later, dressed in a pair of jeans and a button-up shirt that fit, I felt like a brand new and rather hungry man. My stomach growled its unhappiness over being empty loud enough Meredith laughed.
“I’ve been warned everyone in your family becomes growly when hungry, but it’s not usually their stomachs doing the growling.”
“I’m planning on an act of gluttony, one that renders me comatose so I can dodge talking with my parents.”
“With that much coffee in you? I wish you the best of luck. We’re going to have to tether yo
u to keep you from entering orbit.”
I feared she was right, but I couldn’t help but grin. “It didn’t help I guzzled it.”
“I’m impressed it stayed in the mug as long as it did. Please remember you did sign an agreement to attempt reconciliation. Using your future wife to torment the monarchs isn’t a serious attempt at reconciliation.”
“Conditionally my future wife,” I reminded her. Sighing my dismay over the condition, I added, “I’m doomed.”
It would take a miracle or a really well-planned ambush to land a hit on her. If I reached the tail-end of winter without securing my victory fairly, I’d resort to cheating. Eva had to sleep sometime, and nothing in the agreement between us stated she had to be conscious when I landed my hit. As long as I recorded my victory, I’d use it to ensure my spot as her husband.
“You’ll be motivated to learn self-defense with a healthy smattering of offense. That’s something.”
“If I plan and stage ambushes, will you rescue me before the murder part of her retaliation happens? If I have to stoop to ambushing her, I really might die.”
“She won’t kill you, Your Highness. If you plan your ambush well enough, she’ll likely praise you. She understands your nature.”
“Better than most,” I muttered.
“That did work in our favor when establishing her new rank in the RPS. With her and Christian the only two who know your species, she’s invaluable. A good thing, really. With her playing as a principal, she’ll have a chance to adapt to life with protection and be able to protect you at the same time. Knowing your species gives her an edge over the other agents, and everyone knows it, especially since you’re so sensitive over it.”
“Is she okay with this?”
“I believe so. She was interested in how she’d help train agents in her new capacity. She’s also planning your training regime. She wants you to start on the basics today.”
“Today?” I’d be tired enough walking to the dining room for breakfast. “Are you sure she’s not trying to kill me?”
“No. She’s very motivated to get you back into tolerable shape. That woman concerns her, and she wants you to be able to defend yourself as soon as possible. Also, you didn’t hear that from me.”
In the RPS, agents often twisted the rules to benefit their principals, and I suspected Eva already knew Meredith would snitch about that little detail, but Eva wouldn’t learn a thing from me. “Understood.”
“Good. It’s time to deal with the monarchs. It’ll be less painful if you don’t fight it.”
Meredith was right. I sighed and headed for the dining room.
We were the last to arrive, and I had the dubious honor of sitting between my father and great-grandpa, two men I couldn’t escape from on a good day. “I’m too tired for any bullshit.”
Meredith joined Christian and my mother’s lead agent, Robert, near the door. With the faintest of smirks, she settled in to stand guard.
“I second the anti-bullshit motion,” my great-grandpa announced. “My house, my rules. Grégoire is a day or two from a complete meltdown, so you two need to convince your boy to stick around after he’s on the mend, and that means convincing the girl to keep the boy. Good luck. You’re going to need it.”
In less than a minute, everyone in the room would learn just how odd I could be and how minor my demands were in their eyes. My request would be anything but minor to me, but that wouldn’t matter, not to them. “The only apology I care about or need is the one owed to Eva. Get the teddy bear to do your dirty work again, and I really will be out for good. I’m satisfied neither of you believed my yearly illnesses were anything more than a persistent cold. I didn’t, either. But I’m picking my wife without help from you or the congress. I don’t care if you don’t approve of her. Your approval in this means less than nothing to me. I will not be sabotaged, nor will I tolerate anything done meant to hurt Eva. She worked hard to hone her skills.”
“We’ll talk to her,” my father promised.
I expected he’d be easier than my mother, and he’d overrule her as needed, but that wasn’t enough. “Mother?”
She sighed but nodded.
“I’m also stating, for the record, the instant Gail opens her mouth and starts spreading rumors or lies, I’m going to cause an incident. I’ll probably cause several incidents. I’ll go public under verified oath with the circumstances of our split, and I will not leave out any of the details. I recommend one of you suggest she leave quietly and keep her mouth shut. I will fight fire with fire. In this ballpark, I’m more innocent than an angel, but I’ll be more ruthless than the devil.”
My father arched a brow, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. “Are you sure you’re my son? Because before I met your mother, I did laps around the block.”
I shuddered at the thought. “Let’s not discuss the specifics, please.”
“I’m just saying you haven’t even made one lap around the block, kiddo. And while your mother’s a headstrong woman, while your grandma’s headstrong, and your great-grandma’s downright terrifying, none of them are inclined to beat on a grizzly for fun. That agent of yours wanted a second round the instant her arm was set. She’s crazy, son.”
“And?”
“I’m just saying you’re going to be whipped within a month.”
Bowing her head, my mother sighed again.
“And?”
“Kelvin,” my father complained. “You’ll be the king.”
How many times would I have to repeat the same damned question before he understood I didn’t care what he thought about my relationship with Eva? He didn’t have to live my life. I did. “And?”
“Kings shouldn’t be whipped.”
I rolled my eyes so hard I held hope I might knock myself out. Unfortunately, the coffee intervened and kept me conscious. “Kings can certainly be happily whipped by his queen. As the one who would be whipped, I have no problems with that. Happily whipped is preferable to unhappily single. My masculinity, such as it is, is not threatened by a competent and capable woman.”
The grizzly leaned back in his chair and howled his laughter. “You just lost this fight, grandson. As a translation, he’s saying he’s in no way belittled by having a strong woman backing him. She’s had a round at me most days for almost three months. Let the kiddo do things his way. The main issue remains: his health currently bars him from doing his full duties, but if you three can figure out how to function, the majority of the load can be shifted off Grégoire.”
“I can delegate the work better in a few days after I’ve had a chance to go over the briefing files,” I promised. “I’ll take what I can handle, I’ll assign Eva some material to ease her into the work, and I’ll recruit Meredith to find me capable personnel that can handle the non-sensitive material. What’s left will go to Grégoire as usual, so he’ll be able to work in a capacity he’s comfortable with.”
Eva cleared her throat from right behind me. Leaning back, I tilted my head until I spotted her. “I can handle your training regime and some paperwork.”
“You think you can. When I’m not making certain you eat, you’ll be exercising and moving around.”
Reading while walking wouldn’t be an issue; I’d done it plenty of times at home. “I can read while I walk, and if I have to use a stationary bike, I can read while doing that, too. If I don’t stop exercising for a little while, I’ll expire.”
“I have no issues with dragging you to bed after you faint.”
She would, too. I had no doubt of it.
“At least I won’t be left somewhere to sleep it off.”
“That’s one way of looking on the bright side of things. Eat as much as you can, but don’t make yourself sick. Once you’re done eating, we’re going on a walk. We’re going to evaluate how you do taking it easy.”
“Sounds good, but I make no promises how long I’ll last.”
“If you make it an hour, I’ll be happy. Realisticall
y, I’m expecting thirty minutes at a leisurely plod.”
“I think it should count at any pace.”
“If you’re reduced to crawling to last an hour, so be it.”
It was going to be a long day.
Chapter Thirteen
Eva joined forces with Dr. Hampford to maximize how much they could torture me in a week. I questioned every decision I’d made in my life, yet again, especially the one where I wanted an exercise-obsessed, martial artist lunatic for my wife. She approached her exercise regime like a demon possessed, so ruthless I would’ve admired her if I weren’t her target. Dr. Hampford used her talent to speed my recovery so Eva could run me through the gauntlet again and again.
Despite my complaints, their method worked. By day six, I could run again, something I hadn’t expected for a few weeks at the earliest. I made use of my regained health to bolt at every opportunity. Most of the time, Meredith either clotheslined or otherwise tripped me.
Sometimes, when she was tired of aborting my escape plans, she sent Eva after me.
Eva didn’t play fair. Eva also belonged on the football field, as she could take me out faster than any one of my predatory family members.
It took until the evening of my last night with my great-grandpa to give Eva and Meredith the slip, and I retreated to the last place I thought they’d look.
My great-grandpa wasn’t impressed with me hiding under his desk, but I didn’t fit under his bed.
“I see you’ve finally had enough of your babysitters. Dare I ask how you escaped from them?”
“I waited for them to start planning my next torture session, flopped onto the ground and groaned near the hedge, and crawled away when they determined they’d worn me out. Once out of earshot, I ran.”
“That explains why you’re covered in dirt and leaves.”
“They mentioned a treadmill. That’s code for an imminent near-death experience.”
Huntress Page 15
