by Neil Olson
“Well now. I think you may be the one who needs a rest, old man. You look worse than me.”
Andreas could only manage to stare at his son, as at a car wreck, unable to take his eyes away, aware of all the naked emotions on his face but unable to hide them.
“I am well. It’s the airplane. I have never gotten used to them.”
The look on Alekos’ face was more gentle than Andreas had seen since his son was a child, and the past overtook him just then in a numbing wave. He reached to unbutton his coat and realized he had already done so; he unbuttoned the collar of his priestly white shirt instead.
“Matthew, get your Papou some water,” Alex commanded.
“No,” Andreas said. “We passed a coffee machine in the hall, you remember?”
“You sure you want coffee this late?” The boy’s concern was kindly, but anger rose in Andreas instantly.
“You think I’m some old woman? I will get it myself.”
“No, it’s all right.”
“Black, no sugar,” Alex said from the bed.
“Yes,” Andreas agreed, “your father knows. Thank you, my boy.”
Then Matthew was gone, they were alone together, and Andreas no longer knew why he had schemed for this chance, what he had intended to say.
“Fotis told me you would not see him at first.” He spoke Greek now.
“Are you surprised?”
“So much time has passed. Why do you cling to your anger?”
“Do you think these things go away because time has passed? You would like to think that, wouldn’t you? That there is some clock on your sins, and when so much time elapses…”
“We were not discussing my sins.” Andreas heard the hardness come into his voice, despite himself.
“No? What were we discussing? My mind wanders, you see.”
“Your happiness.”
“My happiness, yes. Always a great concern of yours. Anyway, I saw him, so why hound me?”
“Rini made you.”
“I became too tired to fight about it, just like I am too tired to fight with you now.”
“I don’t want to fight. I am grateful to you for seeing me.”
Alekos seemed almost shocked, or played well at it.
“You’re my father. You’re family.”
“Fotis is family.”
“Fotis is a relation. You are blood. Anyway, what am I going to say to Matthew, ‘Tell your grandfather to wait in the hall’?”
“Once you might have done that.”
“I had strength then.”
“So is that the reason I am here? For Matthew’s sake?”
“You know, this isn’t about you, old man. This is not about your forgiveness. This is about me. You came, God knows why. I don’t want to know your other reasons. You’re here. It’s right that you should be. Leave it alone now, don’t ask for anything else.”
Alex slumped back on his pillows. Fool, Andreas scolded himself, stupid ass, exhausting him this way. Leave it alone, indeed.
“Fotis is involving him in something,” Alex said. “About that damn icon. You know about it?”
“I learned about it today.”
“You’re not involved?”
“No.”
“How the hell would I know if that’s true?”
“It’s true.”
“Keep him out of it. Leave my son alone. Tell the schemer to leave my son alone.”
“It’s for the museum. There is no harm in it that I can see.”
“You think Fotis hasn’t arranged it somehow? The man has his fingers in everything.”
“I do not see where the gain is for him. The museum getting the icon would be the end of his hopes for it.”
“How can we know if it is that simple? Who told you about Matthew’s involvement?”
“Fotis.”
“And how did it seem to him? How did he feel about it?”
Alex had a scientist’s mind, untrained in the ways of deliberate misdirection. This was no doubt one reason that he resented his father and uncle: not just because duplicity was so much a part of their lives, but because he himself was so easy to dupe.
“Pleased,” Andreas answered.
“I am not a spy, of course, but when that man is pleased about something, I worry. Keep my boy out of it.”
“It’s for his work.” Work was the closest thing to sacred to Andreas.
They heard Matthew’s voice in the corridor, speaking quietly to the nurse. Alex leaned forward again, straining.
“At least speak to him. Tell him the history.”
Andreas’ mouth was dry. How much of the history did Alex know? Who told him? Not Fotis. Maria? Himself, some forgotten evening long ago? His son was staring hard at him.
“No, you can’t do that, can you? Just tell him to stay out of it, then. Do that for me. He won’t listen to his father, but he will listen to you.”
“I’m not so sure.”
Matthew walked back into the room.
“Will you do that for me, old man?”
A dozen calculations collided in Andreas’ brain, all of them unsolvable with his son’s face looking at him that way.
“I will speak to him.”
Matthew touched his shoulder, and when Andreas turned the boy handed him the paper cup of coffee. The old man’s stomach lurched, and sourness crawled up his throat. He placed the cup on the arm of his chair with his hand around it, warming his stiff fingers.
“Your Papou has worn me out,” Alex announced. “You’ll have to leave soon.”
“We’ll come back tomorrow.”
“Your mother will be here tomorrow. She’ll get some straight answers. Who knows, maybe the next time you see me I’ll be at home.”
“That would be wonderful.”
Andreas rose then, too quickly, and touched the edge of the mattress to steady himself.
“I’m worried about you, Babás.” Alekos’ voice was quiet. Andreas grabbed his son’s hand with sudden force and squeezed it. The face remained neutral but the hand squeezed back. The old man found his balance and straightened.
“I am the only one here who does not need any worrying over.”
“I should have called the hotel,” Andreas said at last. “I hope they have held the room.”
Matthew accelerated down the empty avenue.
“It’s absurd for you to stay in a hotel when Ma is all alone in that big house. She would be happy to have you.”
“She would not refuse me, but it would be awkward.”
“So you could stay with me. It’s not a big apartment, but there’s room. You would be a lot closer to the hospital.”
“You will have to trust that I prefer it this way. Now please tell me what the nurse said.”
“You never miss a thing, do you?” The light stopped them at Eighty-sixth street. “No prognosis, you have to speak to a doctor for that. She did confirm that they’ll probably send him home soon. She also warned that he might be right back there in a week.”
That must be avoided, Andreas thought, but it would be Alekos’ decision.
They were moving again, past the massive, spotlighted edifice of the Metropolitan Museum, columned and crenellated, bleached stone and huge, colorful banners. Matthew’s museum.
“We must get him some morphine,” Andreas said.
“They’ll give him something, I’m sure. He hasn’t been in a lot of pain so far.”
“That may not last, and we cannot count on the compassion of doctors. I mean that we must procure some morphine ourselves. In case of need.” He felt the words sink in during the silence that followed.
“Fotis could get it,” Matthew said.
“No doubt. We will ask him, if we have no other alternative.”
“You don’t like asking him for favors.”
“We have a complicated relationship, your godfather and I. I try to make distinctions between business and friendship. No such distinctions exist for him.”
“You kn
ow Dad doesn’t like him.”
“I’m sure your father’s feelings are also complicated. I think he mostly mistrusts him. He feels Fotis may try to involve you in one of his schemes.”
They turned east on Seventy-second street. Matthew did not respond right away, but Andreas waited him out.
“I don’t think Fotis is doing so much scheming these days,” the younger man finally said. “He’s feeling his mortality. He wants to do the things that give him pleasure, wants to be with his family, which is basically us. I don’t think he’s looking to stir up trouble.”
“Perhaps not.” He must be careful; the boy was very close to his godfather. “Trouble has a way of finding Fotis, however.”
Matthew smiled at that.
“He says the exact same thing about you.”
“Yes? Well, I won’t deny it. We have both had difficulty avoiding trouble. We sought it out so often as young men that it has become friendly with us. I tell you, though, I was always the amateur. Fotis was the expert.”
Matthew’s face was hard to read. Confusion or annoyance sat on his forehead and in the muscles around the eyes, or perhaps he was just concentrating on the right turn onto Lexington Avenue. They were close to the hotel now.
“It will be on the left,” Andreas said. “A little further on.”
“Where do you find these places?”
“Friends recommend them.”
“They must be poor recommendations, since you never stay in the same place twice.”
“Just another habit of mine. Right there, I think. The green awning.” Andreas shifted in the seat to observe Matthew as they pulled into an open curb space before what appeared a pleasant old second-rate establishment. “I hope I have not offended you. You know I am fond of your godfather, but I say that with a full knowledge of who he is. He is not an easy man to understand. It would be better for you, and better for your father’s peace of mind, if you did not become involved in any business arrangement with Fotis. Not even an exchange of favors.”
Matthew was silent, staring out the windshield. He would never be uncivil, but this talk had made him uncomfortable. Matters might have progressed further than Andreas had anticipated. He would have to speak more openly, but not now.
“Are you free anytime this week, my boy? Tomorrow, even?”
“Tomorrow is tough. I’ll call you when I see how things are shaping up.”
“Very well.”
“Come on, let’s get you checked in.”
4
I n the beginning was the word. In the end, words weren’t worth much. At the church services he surreptitiously attended, Matthew quickly lost the thread of the words spoken, sung, lost his grip on the Greek language, found it transformed into pure music, pure sound. Sound mixed with the smell of incense, the glint of pale lamps off gold leaf, the dark eyes of saints in the iconostasis. Some days it was enough to invoke a sort of trance, which was soothing to the soul or at least the psyche. Was it faith? He knew that if he followed the words, if he attempted the journey in any sort of intellectual manner, it all felt ridiculous. He had to let himself go. His former girlfriend Robin, a lapsed Catholic, had experienced the same phenomenon. Christ Hypnotist, she called it.
In Greece, in his grandfather’s village, an old priest had shown Matthew a poor black-and-white photograph of the Holy Mother of Katarini, taken before the war, before its disappearance. His godfather’s descriptions, the text he had read in a handful of books, words, had all been rendered pointless by a single glance at a sixty-year-old, five-by-seven image. In an instant, he had understood everything. The longing, the hope, the despair, all present in the swirl of deep gray color, in those black eyes. Now, if his godfather was right, he was mere minutes from seeing the real thing. And words would fail once more.
The brownstone looked like several others on the street, except for the iron bars on the windows and the discreet surveillance camera by the door. The buzzer made no noise audible from the outside, but Matthew waited. His attention was focused on the grill of the speaker when the door swung open.
She wasn’t the maid, that was certain. Early thirties, attractive, dark blond hair, circles under her pale blue eyes, an expensively casual beige suit. The granddaughter. She seemed startled to see him but spoke his name.
“Mr. Spear?”
“Yes. Ms. Kessler.”
“That’s right. You look surprised to see me.”
“I was going to say the same thing.”
She laughed, a short, uninhibited burst of sound.
“Come in.” He stepped into the cramped entry and stood very close to her while she continued to speak. “Preconceptions are funny. Who were you expecting?”
“I don’t know, a maid, I guess.”
“No maid.”
A dark, wood-paneled library stood immediately to the right of the entry, but the rest of the place was remarkably light. He followed her down a narrow corridor of warm wood and white paint. Framed prints covered the walls, maps of medieval cities; the dead man’s taste, no doubt. She hadn’t yet put her own touches on the place, he noted, then realized he didn’t have a clue what her own tastes might be. As Robin would have told him, he was trying to construct a personality without yet knowing the person. It was a bad habit of his.
“The cook is deaf, and he’s not here now. I let the nurse go after my grandfather died, so it’s just me. Would you like coffee?”
The kitchen was bright, the windows admitting as much light as the massive plane tree in the courtyard would allow. Matthew hesitated. This was his first solo house call, and he wasn’t certain of protocol.
“Only if you’re having some.”
“Any excuse for a cup of coffee. Please sit down.”
Into two blue china mugs she poured stale coffee—he could smell it—from a cheap plastic coffeemaker on the counter.
“Milk, sugar?”
“Black is fine.”
“I’m glad you said that, because there is no milk and I don’t know where the sugar is.”
He took a sip and set the mug aside. No one in his family would serve coffee like that to his worst enemy. What was it with rich people and food?
“So who were you expecting,” he asked.
“Oh, I don’t know.”
“Tweed jacket? Gray hair and spectacles?”
“That’s right. Maybe a pipe.”
“Not on the job. Don’t want to get smoke on those delicate surfaces.”
“Of course. I was really just expecting someone older.”
“I’m working on it, every day.”
She laughed again, and he realized that he was going to have to resist the impulse to keep making her do that.
“Have you been with the museum long?”
“Three years. Not long. You can be there ten years and still be the new guy.”
“But you’re a curator?”
“Assistant curator.”
“That’s impressive for someone as young as you, isn’t it?”
He understood now. This wasn’t small talk, he was being interviewed. Was he equal to the job of assessing her grandfather’s work?
“Not really. They needed someone who knew Eastern Orthodox art, and that’s been my primary focus. I was at the Byzantine Museum in Athens for two years before this.”
“Interesting.” She seemed to tire quickly of her own questioning. “This coffee is terrible, I’ll make some fresh.”
“I’ve had plenty this morning.”
“You want to get to work and I’m dragging my feet.”
“There’s no rush.” He had to be careful. “It’s not an easy matter, exposing work that has a strong emotional connection to a complete stranger. It’s one thing to contemplate parting with it, another to watch some so-called expert sizing it up, reducing it to a piece of commerce.”
“Is that what you do, Mr. Spear?”
“I hope not. I was trying to see it from your side.”
“You’re very understanding.
You must do this a lot.”
“No, actually.”
“The thing is, the icon is downstairs in this sort of chapel my grandfather built. It’s a very private place. No one went in there but him.”
“I see. Well, we, or you, could take it out of there and I could examine it up here. The light would probably be better, anyway.”
“Sorry, I hadn’t even thought about the light. I can’t imagine seeing it any kind of way but the way it is now, in that strange room. I guess that’s why I haven’t moved it.”
“Now you’ve made me curious.”
“I’m making too much of it. It’s just a little chapel, an old man’s indulgence. I mean, who builds a chapel in their home anymore?”
“Your grandfather was obviously a medievalist at heart.”
“Yes, he was.”
“May I see it?”
She looked at him blankly for a moment. She was tired, sleep-deprived probably, fully formed thoughts coming slowly to her upper consciousness.
“The chapel? Absolutely, I want you to. Then we can take the icon someplace with better lighting, so you can examine it properly.”
“Great.”
“OK.” She stood up, paused again. “I guess what I’m trying to explain is that this wasn’t a valuable artwork to my grandfather. It was a sacred object, to be worshiped.”
Matthew felt a tingling in the back of his skull, and an impulse, contrary to his nature, to reveal something of himself.
“That was its original purpose,” he said quietly. “That’s why it was created.”
They were the right words. She seemed calmed, though she continued to stand there.
“It’s odd. He was raised Catholic, but he preferred Orthodox art. It’s as if his aesthetic tastes led him into a different kind of religious belief. Which might make you doubt his sincerity, except I think all art, even secular art, was spiritual to him.”
He smiled, aware that no response was necessary.
“I hope,” she said hesitantly, “that religious talk isn’t offensive to you.”
“Not at all. My family is Greek, religion is in the blood.”
“I should have known that. My lawyer knows your godfather, or something?”
“That’s right.”
“Then Spear is…?”
