"If that's what it takes, then that's what it takes," I responded.
Kira blinked.
"You're not afraid?" she asked.
"No," I replied. "Are you?"
"Of course I am!" Kira answered. "What we're doing is incredibly dangerous!"
"But we have no choice," I said. "Fear only matters when you have a choice to make, when you don't want to make the wrong one. But when you have no choices, fear is ... meaningless. It doesn't matter. You can't do anything else. So, you just do the only thing you can do, and what happens, happens."
"And what if what happens is we all die?" Kira argued.
"Then I guess we all die," I said.
Kira put her hands over her face.
"I don't think you get what death means," she muttered.
"Trust me. I do," I answered gravely. "And I don't just mean watching mortals die, which I've done since the beginning. I mean watching a god die. And I mean, dying. Myself."
"You died?" she asked.
"Once," I admitted. "Briefly. In the Dreamlands. And I won't lie. It was painful, and it was frightening. But you're a witch. You should know that nothing is ever truly destroyed. It just changes, transforms into something else, something new."
"I don't want to change, and I don't want to die," Kira replied softly. "None of us do. And we can't help how we feel."
"Yes, you can," I said. I took her hand and squeezed it. "You're afraid, and that's natural. But don't forget that this body is not who you are, any more than this body is who I am. It's just where we are right now. Don't let your body fool you. What we are can never be destroyed."
"You make it all seem so easy," she sighed. "But if death isn't such a big deal, why should we be so worried about Ekhidna killing everyone?"
"Because she won't just kill people," I said. "She will corrupt and enslave your entire world. No more freedom or joy or happiness or hope or love. Everything that makes life worth living will be gone. Believe me, if Ekhidna and Typhon take over, you will all be begging for death."
Kira took a shuddering breath and then nodded.
"So, I guess that's it then," she said. "We do it."
"We do it," I agreed.
Kira pulled back the tapestry. She waved in the others, and the witches filed into the back room. They set to work immediately, filling the room with flickering black and white candles. Soon, acrid incense billowed up from the corners of the room, and in the centre lay a pattern of black crystals in the shape of a person.
"Let me guess," I murmured.
"You get inside," Kira instructed.
She was still afraid. She was trying to hide it. Like me, she had to be strong for the others. But I could see it in her eyes, hear it in the tightness of her voice. I only hoped it wouldn't stop her from summoning the magick I needed.
Demeter caught my arm. "Let me go instead."
No god willingly risked death. But Demeter would. For me, she'd risk death. For me, she'd die. I was everything to her now that she'd lost her daughter.
But I was too selfish to let her go. Because what no one knew, not even her, was how badly losing Athena had damaged me. I wouldn't survive losing Demeter too.
I shook her off gently. She looked at me. I said nothing. We spoke with our eyes, the way we did as sisters.
Then I lay down in the crystals.
I couldn't breathe. It felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I had a wild moment of primal fear. I wanted to thrash wildly until I knocked myself free of this crystal trap. But I didn't. Instead, I stomped down that fear with all the ruthlessness I had inside me. I had to set the example. I had to be me.
One by one, I felt pricks of cold as the crystals were pushed against my skin. But soon the crystals started to feel warm. When I shifted, they jolted me with electricity. Only it wasn't electricity. It was something else, some other kind of power. It was then I realized the crystals were actually wet. With blood. The witches had coated them in blood. God blood.
"How do I start the transfusion?" I asked.
"It will happen on its own," Kira explained. "That's what the crystals are for. The hard part is stopping it."
"How do I do that?" I asked.
"That's the problem," she replied. "The book doesn't say anything about that. Not anywhere."
I could hear her frantically flipping pages.
"It doesn't matter," I answered. "I'll take care of it."
I waited awkwardly. I didn't really know what else to do. I took some time to quiet my thoughts and to try to slow down my pounding heart. I had ample practice repressing fear, but I still wasn't used to doing it in a body that felt things in a powerful, primal way. Between breathing deeply and trying to clear my mind, I almost drifted off when I heard chanting.
Gentle shepherds,
Gentle shepherds,
Guide this wandering child into the darkest fold.
Gentle shepherds,
Gentle shepherds,
Carry this precious daughter into oblivion.
Over and over again. At first, they were just words. But they began to change. They became alive. I felt like I could see them, smell them, taste them. They slid along my skin, raising goosebumps, and then they wound their way inside me. Seductive. Sensual. Terrifying.
Before I even realized it, I was closing my eyes and opening myself to the words, letting them take me away. The darkness of my mind deepened. Black became somehow blacker. And then it began to brighten.
I opened my eyes.
I was in the Dreamlands.
The first part of the spell had worked.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
The Dreamlands were never the same twice. They shifted and changed constantly like the ocean. But one thing had always been the same: I'd never been alone there. Until now.
I looked around. I stood in an empty, green meadow. In the distance, I could make out a forest. But there was no sign of life.
At first, I was relieved. When I had come to the Dreamlands the first time with Zeus and the others, a nightmarish creature had attacked us. It had almost killed Zeus, and we'd all been together then. Now I was here by myself, and I was powerless. Divinity didn't operate in the Dreamlands. Only Justin's powers worked here. And he was nowhere to be seen.
"Justin?" I called out.
The Dreamlands were vast. Even if I had all the time in the world, I might never find him, and I definitely didn't have time to spare.
Justin had to find me.
He'd always been able to find me before, no matter where I was: the mortal world; the Dreamlands; even when I had magickally entered Ekhidna's mind. He felt a connection to me that defied time and space.
"Justin?" I repeated.
Still nothing.
I felt the clock ticking. I could almost hear it.
I concentrated. I breathed. And then I pictured him. I pictured us. Together.
Our moments together had been so few and the circumstances so strange. The threat of Ekhidna had loomed over us constantly like a tidal wave. It should've been impossible for feelings to take root and grow in an environment like that. But somehow they had. Despite everything. Despite me.
"You rang?"
I spun.
Justin. And yet it wasn't him. He was barely a hazy outline against the sky, the slightest blur as he moved towards me.
Darren had been right. Justin was dying. In the mortal world, when he'd vanished, he'd vanished to the Dreamlands. But if he vanished here, in the Dreamlands... There was nowhere else for him to vanish to.
We were running out of time. The transfusion had to start now. Now.
The witches had said it would happen naturally, but I didn't feel any different, and Justin didn't look any better. I had no way to signal them either: in the Dreamlands, I was cut off. On my own. Helpless.
And then I heard it.
So faint. At first, I thought it was just the wind sighing through the meadow. But it was too constant, too steady: the same whisper again and again.
> Take from one
And give to another.
Take from this child
And give to her lover.
I bristled.
I wasn't used to thinking about Justin like that. I felt it, but I avoided the words. It was implied. And that was how I preferred my feelings.
But the witches had seen into my soul and uncovered my deepest, darkest secret. Now they chanted it to the Universe. It was invasive, almost cruel. But to save Justin, I could endure humiliation. I could endure anything.
I felt a prickle. It started at my feet. It crept up my legs slowly. Another prickle. And another. All along my hands, my arms, my neck. All of me was prickling. Painful, tiny prickles. A thousand leech mouths sucking me dry.
I collapsed.
My strength just disappeared. I couldn't even stand. I could barely keep my eyes open. The invisible leeches covered every inch of me, pumping the life out of me.
I was about to cry out. But the prickles were fading. Starting at my fingertips and then flowing down into the rest of me, delicious coolness replaced the pain. No. Not coolness. Nothing.
With all my might, I managed to tilt my head enough to look down at my hands.
Gone.
The tips of my fingers had vanished. And it was spreading. I was vanishing. I was the one dying now.
"Justin!"
I tried to scream. But it was no more than a wordless gasp. A pathetic, little sound.
Justin didn't answer.
My heart sank. If I were getting this weak, he should've been getting stronger, at least strong enough to take us back to the mortal world, to save us.
But there was no answer.
I realized, with paralyzing dread, that the spell might not be working. I could be dying for nothing. Maybe I didn't have enough energy for us both. Justin could be too far gone, past saving, and I was just pouring my own life down the drain. A senseless, stupid sacrifice.
I couldn't bear the thought that I'd done what Ekhidna had failed to do so many times. I'd killed myself, and all for nothing. It was too much to bear.
Savagely, I jerked my head as hard as I could to the other side. My head lolled lazily. But at least it moved. It was enough to see him.
Justin lay on the ground next to me, inches away. His face was agonized. Tears shone in his eyes. He did his best to hold them back, just like I would have.
But it was him. Really him. Not a blur or a shadow. But him. The transfusion was working. Justin was alive and getting more and more alive with every second. His body seized as my life slammed into him. He convulsed so violently that I thought he'd tear himself apart. Seeing me disappearing, he tried to say something, but he couldn't. His body wasn't his own. It belonged to whatever invisible lightning was shooting through him.
"Go…" I whispered hoarsely, though I wasn't even sure I spoke out loud.
In the midst of his violent thrashing, I saw Justin's jaw set. I knew what he was thinking. It's what I would've been thinking if I were him.
He wouldn't leave me.
I couldn't speak. All I could do was look. I tried to wear him down with my eyes, to break his resistance. It didn't work.
It didn't help that my eyes kept drooping. I forced them open as wide as I could, but every time, it was a little less wide. If my eyes shut, I was sure they'd never open again.
So I did something I never did. I begged. With my eyes. It took all I had left. But there was no other way. Even if my eyes shut, even if I disappeared forever, Justin had to survive. He had to go back to stop Ekhidna, to save the worlds, to give some meaning to my sacrifice.
Another jolt smashed into his body. He writhed. But when he finally calmed, he met my eyes again. He knew what I wanted, and he'd do it. That was love.
Justin closed his eyes. I could barely see him. My eyes were just slits now. I was so tired. His body began to waver. His eyes opened one last time.
He mouthed words to me. I couldn't hear him, but I didn't have to. I knew what they were.
And then he was gone.
And so was I.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Bitter. Salty. Sweet.
I awoke to a strange taste flooding my mouth.
Everything was blurry and painfully bright. My head felt heavy. My body ached.
I tried to sit up, but strong hands held me down. The taste kept coming and coming, as strong as ever. Someone was pouring something into my mouth.
I instinctively fought not to swallow. But it kept coming. I had no choice. I sputtered, but in the end, I swallowed.
When my vision finally cleared, I saw Erinle tipping a wooden cup against my lips. My lungs and throat burned. I started to cough, but he didn't stop pouring. No mercy, not even a hint of compassion, in those fathomless brown eyes. Finally, the cup was empty, and Erinle took it away.
I wiped my face, angry and embarrassed. I realized we weren't alone. Demeter, Ares, and Justin were all watching.
I sat up.
Justin rushed towards me, knocking Erinle out of the way. He kissed me deeply, like he was trying to breathe life back into me.
He pulled away reluctantly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ares. His face was purple, the muscles along his jaw writhing. Luckily, he was so livid, he didn't know what to do.
"You did it," Demeter breathed, wiping tears from her eyes. She swept Erinle into a hug.
He looked bewildered and more than slightly embarrassed. It was nice to see him caught off-guard. Anything to wipe the smirk off his face.
"She be on the mend," Erinle said. "But drained. She needs rest."
"But she'll be fine?" Demeter pressed, still not letting Erinle go.
"She is right here," I interjected acidly. My temper was always the first thing to recover. "And I'll be fine. But I can't rest now. None of us can. Justin's back. We can go to the Elemental Realms now and warn them Ekhidna's coming."
"No way," Justin said. "You're still too weak. Give yourself a bit of time."
"We don't have a bit of time," I replied. "We don't have any time. Ekhidna's already ahead of us."
Justin was torn. He didn't want to argue, but he didn't want to risk losing me again.
"We could go without you," Morgan suggested from somewhere in the back of the room.
"Has Carson recovered yet?" I asked.
"She's much better," Demeter answered. "Erinle's been working wonders."
"Lovely," I said. "But I won't risk taking her with us if she's not up to using her powers."
"Well, by the time you're ready..." Demeter started.
"I'm ready now," I snapped. "Get the others."
I took a deep breath. Then another. And another.
I stood. I almost swayed. But through sheer force of will, I forced myself steady.
Under my steely gaze, Morgan obediently left the room. Erinle followed, leaving only me, Demeter, Ares, and Justin.
Demeter sighed. "How do we know where to go first?"
She wasn't going to waste my strength by making me argue with her.
I turned to Justin. He was devouring me with his eyes. Every feature. Every moment. It was like he never planned to look away from me again. He was too lost in me to even notice how furious Ares was. But I noticed.
"Could you give me a moment alone with Ares?" I asked.
No one moved.
"Just for a moment," I promised, looking meaningfully at Justin and Demeter.
Justin was going to argue. He didn't want to leave me. If he had his way, he'd be at my side for the rest of our lives. So we stared in awkward, tense silence for what felt like forever until finally Justin sighed and looked away.
He didn't say anything as he left. He just looked at me once more over his shoulder. It was like he had to physically tear himself out of the room. But he did. Demeter followed close behind and closed the door.
As soon as the door shut, Ares smashed his fist into the wall. I jumped. Thankfully, by some miracle, Justin didn't burst inside right away. If I had to guess
, that miracle's name was Demeter.
"Feel better?" I asked.
Ares pulled his fist out of the wall and glared at me.
"Maybe after a couple more," he growled.
I said nothing. I just waited.
Ares clenched his jaw and looked away. "Does Zeus know?"
"Does Zeus know what?" I asked.
I knew what he meant. But I wanted him to say it. For him, and in a strange way, for me too. I wanted someone to say it.
"That you're ... " he started. But he couldn't bring himself to finish.
"For Hells' sakes, he's a mortal, Hera," he finally snarled.
He grabbed the dresser, and for a second, I was afraid he was going to hurl it into the wall. But instead, he just leaned against it, defeated. He knew he couldn't beat me in a fight. He'd seen me fight with Zeus, pretty much constantly, for millennia. He knew how that always ended.
"I'm well aware of what he is," I replied. I softened my tone. "I didn't choose this, Ares. Believe me. You know I never would."
"Then ... how?" he demanded.
"It just happened," I admitted. "How does it ever happen?"
"So, what? You're in love with this mortal?" Ares pressed.
I lifted my chin. "Yes."
Ares turned and slid down the dresser until he was sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. "What's going to happen to us now?"
That question caught me off-guard. I hadn't thought about it. I'd thought about Justin. He was always on my mind, if only at the back of it. I'd thought about Zeus. Just his name still made me burn. I'd even thought about me and my precious duty. But I'd forgotten that my marriage to Zeus wasn't just me, or him, or Justin. It never had been. It was about the Heavens. It was about all the gods. Zeus and I were the foundation on which it was all built, the centre around which it all orbited. Our marriage was the anchor.
"Nothing has to change," I decided, after a moment.
"What?" Ares looked up, shocked. "How can you say ... Wait. You expect me to keep this a secret?"
"No," I replied quickly. I paused. "Yes. For now. Zeus and I will talk, I promise you. But only after we stop Ekhidna. There are more important things right now than us, than any of us. Duty comes first."
Hera, Queen of Mortals (Goddess Unbound) Page 21
