So, slowly, I forced down the barriers I'd built inside myself. I gave myself permission to feel. I let images, sounds, memories, flood me.
Sadness. That was always the first emotion. Grief for Athena. That sadness would never leave me.
Then, anger. At failing her. At failing in my marriage to Zeus. At failing, period. I was so furious, I thought the whole cave would sizzle with the heat of my rage.
But that cooled, as it had to eventually. That kind of intensity burned itself out. And when it did, there was something else. Quiet at first. Patient. And deep. Deeper than all the other emotions. In the silence, it grew. It swelled. It brought tears to my eyes.
Love.
I opened my eyes. The world was a blur. I blinked back my tears, but the blurring didn't vanish. In fact, it only got worse.
It was working!
I smiled. I surrendered to the love. I followed my heart all the way to the mortal world. All the way back to Justin.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Justin. I saw him first. And I was so full of love, I could have burst with it.
I rushed over to him.
When he saw me coming, his face broke into the largest grin I'd ever seen.
I swept him into my arms and kissed him deeply. I kissed him with all the love I'd unlocked inside me. I lost track of time, of everything except him. How he felt against me. How he smelled.
When I finally pulled away, I felt exhausted but indescribably content. Looking at Justin, I knew he felt the same way.
I turned to the others.
"I have the Power of Water," I announced, ignoring the stares.
"I knew you'd do it," Demeter said proudly.
"When you made the jump to Water, I had to drop the rest of us here," Justin explained. "Not enough power. I didn't want to risk..."
He left it hanging. The last time he'd overused his powers, he'd shattered his sanity and almost killed me. I knew exactly what he was thinking. I couldn't help but think about it too.
When I looked in his eyes, there was more crimson than I would've liked, but it was ever so slowly fading. Justin had pushed himself to the brink for us. For me. He'd hauled us between worlds like it was nothing. He'd never breathed a word about how painful it was, how dangerous. His silent strength, his unspoken and unswerving support, I couldn't imagine myself without it anymore, and that scared me.
"I believe this belongs to you," Darren said. He handed me a glowing Vessel of Emeth.
A brilliant flash blinded me. When I could finally see again, the orb was gone. Just gone.
"What...where's the Vessel? Where's the power of Water?" Darren demanded.
I didn't say anything for a long time. I had to be sure first.
"Here," I answered, as I struggled to contain the raging seas of emotions surging inside me. The walls needed to come back up. I needed to focus.
"How..." he started.
"I don't know," I admitted. I could feel his confusion. Actually feel it, like it was my own. I could feel them all. I felt like I was drowning.
"So then, that's it?" Carson piped up from the back of the room.
"What's it?" I asked, still focused on my own internal battle.
"We're done," she said. "I mean, Ekhidna can't bring back Typhon without all the Elements. You've got the power of Water. So it's over. We won. You can take back the amulets, and we can go back to our normal lives."
I finally managed to dam up all the emotions inside me. But I already faced another battle. This one would take finesse, not raw will.
I took a deep breath.
"No," I answered. "If the Element of Water isn't returned to Nicksa, she'll die, and without someone to embody and govern Water, all emotion in the mortal world, in every world, will die too. People will become emotionless robots."
"Can't you just keep Water?" Jason asked. "You could rule emotions instead of Nicksa, right?"
I hesitated.
"No," I replied. "I can't."
"Why?" he pressed.
"It's complicated," Demeter interjected quickly.
But I waved her off.
"Because I already have more power than you can comprehend," I replied. "And giving me this extra power too will do two things. Firstly, it will make me an emotional minefield, which is the last thing you want when someone has my kind of power. Secondly, it will disrupt balance in the Heavens."
"The others will think you're trying to take over," Justin realized.
"A war in the Heavens isn't much better than a war between Order and Chaos," I said. "Not to mention that I'm not even sure how I can contain this power in the first place. Divine power can't coexist with anything else. This shouldn't be possible."
"Maybe it's not the divine part of you that's containing it," Justin murmured.
I shot him a dark look. From anyone else, those were fighting words. I was a god. Queen of Gods. But the truth was I had done things no god had ever done. I'd stayed in mortal form far longer. More importantly, I'd fallen in love with a mortal. Well, someone who had once been a mortal. I'd never admitted it to anyone, but those things had changed me in powerful ways, some obvious and some subtle and some I hadn't even begun to discover yet.
"Okay, so you have to give the power back to Nicksa," Carson said. "Big deal. Ekhidna still doesn't have it. So we still win. We can still go."
"No," I replied. "Ekhidna won't stop trying to rescue Typhon. Not ever."
"But we stopped her," Carson insisted.
"If she tries, we'll just kick her ass again," Darren agreed. "But harder."
"She's in love," I replied softly. "She'll do anything to bring Typhon back. She'll risk anything, even her own life. Especially her own life."
And I couldn't help but look at Justin out of the corner of my eye.
"Besides," I continued. "Ekhidna still has Fire, Air, and Earth. And she's crazy enough to keep them if she doesn't get what she wants. We need to force her to return those Elements, so they can go back to where they belong. You don't want the desires, thoughts, and bodies of all the worlds dying."
"Or Chaos controlling them," Ares added grimly.
"So, what?" Carson argued. "We're your slaves now. Forever?"
"Yes," I answered. There was no way around it.
"What?" she gasped.
"That's what being a Hero is," I said.
"This isn't fair!" Carson argued. "I never signed on…"
"Yes, you did," I interrupted. "When you took the amulet."
"I didn't know what I was doing," she insisted desperately. "I made a mistake. I take it back. I take it back!"
"You can't take it back," I told her. "It's done. And it can't be undone."
Carson looked torn between screaming and bursting into tears. Instead, she ran out of the room.
I didn't stop her. I just looked at Demeter. She silently left. If anyone could fix this, it would be her.
No one said anything for a while.
"So, how do we get Ekhidna to give up the Elements?" Jason asked.
"Good question," I admitted. "Ideas?"
Silence.
"You should ask Demeter," Darren finally suggested. "Something happened while you were gone... she left us."
"She what?" I replied.
"She left," he repeated. "She said she had to go speak to someone. She told us to stay here. She wasn't gone for very long."
"I'll go get her," Justin offered.
He disappeared.
"She didn't say anything else?" I pressed.
"No," Darren answered.
"But she looked sad when she came back," Jason volunteered. "Like, really sad."
I couldn't hide my relief.
"You know who she was talking to," Darren guessed.
"Yes," I admitted. "I just don't know what they talked about."
Demeter appeared in the doorway. Without Justin. He must have taken over Carson duty.
"What did Persephone have to say?" I asked.
Demeter flinched. "I was go
ing to tell you."
"I know," I replied. "So tell me now."
"It's bad," she warned.
"Then it won't get any better the longer you don't tell me," I pointed out.
"She said Hades met with some of Ekhidna's monsters," Demeter informed me.
"What? Why?" I demanded.
"They wanted to make a trade," Demeter replied.
"And he considered helping her?" I asked incredulously. "Our oldest enemy? He can't be that insane!"
"He didn't just consider it, Hera," Demeter said. "He did it. He made the trade. Water from each of the rivers in Hades."
I gaped. I didn't know what else to do. Or say.
No one else said anything. No one even moved. No one dared. They just stared at me silently seething.
"Why?" I finally demanded through gritted teeth.
"Ekhidna made him an offer," Demeter answered bitterly. "She swore, on the River Styx, that the Underworld would be spared if she and Typhon overthrow the rest of us."
"Traitor!" I screamed.
I couldn't help myself. I grabbed a lamp on the bedside table and hurled it against the wall.
"Hera!" Demeter gasped.
I closed my eyes. I couldn't think of anything else to do. The rage inside me was delicious. Powerful. Pure. It wasn't just my anger. It was the power of Water. It was amplifying what I felt, and it was exhilarating.
I didn't speak for a long time. I couldn't risk it. I waited. My anger was boiling. When it finally cooled to a simmer, I opened my eyes again.
"It's the power of Water," I explained. That was as much of an apology as anyone was going to get from me.
"And it's only going to get worse the longer you try to contain it," Demeter guessed.
"Then we'd better hurry," I replied.
"So what would Ekhidna need with the water from Hades?" Darren asked.
"I don't know," I fumed. "It doesn't make any sense."
"It could be part of a spell," Jason suggested.
"What kind of spell?" I countered. "It's impossible to get! What kind of spell uses impossible ingredients?"
"The cloaking spell requires the blood of a god in true form," Demeter pointed out. "That's supposed to be impossible to get too."
"The more powerful the spell, the rarer the ingredients," Darren agreed. "I learned that from the spellbook."
"Maybe it's the spell to free Typhon?" Jason suggested.
"That is one hell of a powerful spell," Darren agreed.
"We're missing something," I said, biting my lip.
"What?" Demeter asked.
"Ekhidna took all the power of every Element," I said.
"Except Water," she added. "You have that."
"And Fire," I said. "She left a fragment of power with Djin. Why?"
"She's crazy?" Jason suggested.
"True, but she still does things for a reason," I replied. "She's been so careful. So focused. She hasn't done anything by mistake."
"She must need Fire left in the world," Darren said. "She can risk the other Elements fading away, but not Fire."
I spun to look at him. "Yes. That has to be it! She needs a pure, strong essence of Fire still in the world. But why? Why is Fire more important to her than the others?"
"They're all important," Demeter mused. "She needs all Four Elements. She has Three. All she needs now is Water."
"Unless that isn't all she needs," Darren murmured.
"What?" I demanded.
"Maybe it's not just the Four Elements that she needs," Darren reasoned. "We assumed that's all she needs, but maybe there's something else."
I considered that.
"It's possible," Demeter agreed, looking at me.
"It's possible," I admitted. "But what did we miss? Water from Hades?"
"There are five Elements!" Darren interrupted suddenly. His eyes lit up. "Not four."
"What are you talking about?" I snapped. "Earth. Air. Fire. Water. That's four, not five."
"No," Darren disagreed. "I read the spellbook. I remember. It said there were five. The fifth Element is spirit."
"Spirit?" I echoed.
"Spirit is the gateway," Jason recalled.
"We thought the yokai meant the orishas," Demeter murmured.
"But he might have meant the fifth Element!" I exclaimed. "The last piece to make the gateway to the Void!"
"Hera, I think they mean the Spark!" Demeter replied, eyes widening.
"The Spark?" Jason echoed.
"Life," I explained. "We call it Promethean Fire, because it's connected to Fire. Fire makes the Spark, because desire gives birth to life."
"That's why Ekhidna left Djin alive," Darren said. "Because she couldn't risk putting out the Promethean Fire if she took all of the Element of Fire."
"So, Ekhidna needs this Promethean Fire," Jason said. "Where's she going to get it?"
Darren said nothing. They all turned and looked at me. But I had no answer. We knew more than before, but we were still no further ahead.
Before I could say anything, a familiar voice answered from the doorway.
"I know where she's going to get Promethean Fire."
I turned. And smiled. "Ares."
He bowed his head. "But I think you have a bigger problem."
"What could be bigger than that?" I demanded.
He frowned. "That depends. Did someone leave a Justin statue in the hall?"
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
"I'm going to kill her," I fumed, studying Justin.
Carson had indeed used her powers on him. She was getting stronger. She'd frozen him before he even knew what was happening, and it showed no signs of wearing off anytime soon.
"I'm actually going to kill her," I muttered.
"Hera, no!" Demeter said. "We need her. And he'll be fine... eventually."
"Want me to kill her?" Ares offered.
"I'm not actually going to kill her," I told him witheringly. "That was … exaggeration."
"If I do it, you won't be killing her," he pointed out. "You'll be having her killed. Big difference."
"You're not helping," Demeter told him flatly.
"I could kill her for you," Ares insisted. "Seriously. I'll go out there and kill the crap out of her right now."
I didn't want to. But I smiled. A little. It was what Ares wanted. He was baiting me, breaking my anger.
"No," I sighed. "You're not going to kill her."
"But I want to kill her," Ares pressed. "Please let me go kill her."
"No," I said firmly.
"Just let me go kill her," he said. "It'll take two seconds. I'll be right back. I swear."
I couldn't help it. I laughed.
"No," I told him. "No killing."
Demeter rolled her eyes and took my hands, turning me so I was looking away from Justin.
"Carson's just upset," Demeter told me.
"Really? You think?" I replied.
"About what happened to Morgan," Demeter finished. "She feels vulnerable. She lost someone she knows, someone who might never be coming back. The danger is real to her now."
"Um, I had the crap kicked out of me," Ares reminded her.
"Me too," Darren agreed.
Demeter paused.
"Regardless," she said. "This is the first time someone hasn't just gotten better. She just needs to feel things out. Then she'll be fine."
"Well, then, I'll just go help her feel some things," I told Demeter.
I closed my eyes. Images.
"Where is she?" Demeter asked. "I'll go."
"No," I said, opening my eyes. "I'll go. Just give me your compact. You stay here and try to keep my other Heroes from running."
Demeter pulled out the little mirror from her purse and hesitantly handed it to me.
"We're not going to run," Darren muttered. "We're not total headcases."
"She's not a headcase!" Jason shot back. "She's stressed!"
"We're all stressed!" Darren snapped. "And no one else took off like an idiot."
"Don't call her an idiot!" Jason said sharply.
"New plan. You stay here, and try to keep my other Heroes from killing each other," I told Demeter.
"With pleasure," Ares agreed, rubbing his knuckles.
He picked Jason up by the collar and deposited him on the other side of him. Ares was now solidly in the middle of him and Darren. Since Ares was large enough to be a wall, it made arguing sufficiently awkward. Jason and Darren both fumed silently, trying to get around Ares to shoot daggers at each other, but Ares easily shifted to block their view of each other.
"Just don't do any damage," I ordered. I wasn't even sure which of them I was talking to.
I headed down the stairs.
"Let me come with you," Demeter said.
"Ow!" Ares roared. "Did someone bite me?"
I said nothing.
"You shouldn't go alone!" Demeter continued.
"I will crush you, mortal!" Ares boomed.
"Please!" Demeter begged.
That was the last thing I heard as I shut the front door behind me.
I didn't have time for this. Temper tantrums, other than my own, pissed me off.
I stalked down the sidewalk. I knew exactly where Carson was.
I found her where I'd seen her in my mind, sitting on a swinging chair in a garden not that far away. She was staring at the house next door.
"Are you going to turn me to stone?" I demanded.
"Are you going to leave me alone?" she countered.
But she didn't turn my way. Her eyes never left the house. I kept a firm grip on the compact in my pocket, just in case.
"This is hardly ... productive," I said through gritted teeth. "With the world hanging in the balance. Can't we … postpone … whatever this is?"
I gestured generally in her direction.
"You can't postpone me," Carson muttered. "I'm not an appointment."
"Fine," I growled.
I sat beside her.
"What do you think you're doing?" Carson demanded, looking at me for the first time.
I tensed. But there was no flash. I kept the mirror ready anyway.
"We call it sitting," I told her dryly.
"I'm not going to turn you to stone," she told me acidly, eying the mirror in my hand.
"Well, if it's all the same, I'm just going to keep this in my lap anyway," I replied.
"Whatever," she muttered. "Not like it'd do you any good anyway."
Hera, Queen of Mortals (Goddess Unbound) Page 25
