“She loves you.”
“Love isn’t always enough. Tonight, Lucia feels as if I betrayed her, and I can’t blame her. I deserve all of her hostility.” He dropped his hands from her arms and took a step backward. “There are many things you don’t know about me, Sarah. If I told you the truth, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere near me either.”
“Why don’t you just tell me and let me decide for myself?” Apprehension swept through Sarah. He’d never volunteered much information about his past, and she’d always sensed he was holding back something important. But she’d never been afraid of him. Never once had she feared that he would hurt her. If anything, she’d felt safer in his presence, her instincts were certain that he would protect her from danger. But the storm rolling through his dark eyes put her on edge. Whatever he was holding back was big.
“Now is not the time. I need to find Lucia.” He shook his head. “She is in grave danger.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Sadness tasted like salt. Lucia sniffed. Her eyes watered as the freezing wind swept down the trail. She tugged her hat over her ears. When she’d been riding outside that afternoon, she’d been fine, but it felt much colder at night. And dark. Very dark. A thin cover of clouds obscured the moon.
She tripped, fell to her knees, and landed on something hard. The blow sang through her cold bones like the tuning fork her music teacher used in class. Tears slid from her eyes, the moisture running down her face in icy tracks. She swiped her cheek with a gloved hand. A sob trembled in her chest. She sucked it back.
Sitting on the ground and crying wouldn’t accomplish anything.
She checked her watch. Knowing her father could track the GPS in her phone, she’d left it at home, hidden in a drawer on silent. Eventually, he’d figure out that she hadn’t taken her cell with her, but every minute she could gain was more space between her and him.
He’d betrayed her.
She never wanted to see him again, but he was the only person she had in the world, and thinking about never seeing him again sent more tears spilling down her cheeks. She packed her sorrow deep inside. If she let it out now, she’d be paralyzed. She’d curl into a ball and die there on the trail.
Maybe that would be for the best. Right now she didn’t feel like she had a reason to live.
Stumbling to her feet, she reached into her backpack for her flashlight. She switched it on. The narrow beam of light in front of her somehow made the woods seem even darker. She’d been afraid to use it when she’d been close to the house. But she was far enough from home now, and she hadn’t heard any sounds to indicate he was following her. He’d been in the basement loading the car when she’d slipped out the door. Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice she was gone before she’d put some more distance between them. When she’d left the house, she’d known better than to walk alongside the road. It was only a matter of time until her father came after her. Instead, she’d run across the meadow and followed the river toward the forest path. The ground was hard and cold and she’d made sure her hiking boots didn’t leave prints. She’d covered the open ground as quickly as possible and sought the darkness of the woods. She breathed easier when she entered the cover of the trees.
To her right, the sound of the river gave her direction. She and Dad had hiked this trail often last fall, but they hadn’t been out since winter hit. Dad didn’t like the cold.
Shivering, she trudged forward. Inside her boots, her toes stung with cold, and her knee ached where she’d landed on the tree root. She pictured her father. He’d be terrified once he noticed she was missing. Part of her wanted him so suffer, but she also felt guilty, which was stupid. Hello? He’d lied to her.
Her mother had been murdered and he hadn’t bothered to tell her. Grief raged in her chest, as fresh as if she’d just learned of her mother’s death. How could Dad have done this to her? Her entire life was a lie. Anger fueled her steps and drove her forward.
She continued through the dark forest for a long time, until her feet felt like blocks of ice and the trail ended in a road. Lucia turned right and walked along the shoulder. She was visible on the open road, and a sense of vulnerability fell over her.
Her father’s words rang in her mind. I am afraid the people who killed your mother will come for you. That is not the kind of information you keep from a person, she thought.
The forest ran alongside the road, but there wasn’t a trail. She walked across the bridge, stopping in the center to watch the dark water rush underneath. She trained her flashlight on the river and watched a branch get caught up in the current and swept under the bridge. Her past felt like that branch, whisked out from under her feet faster than she could process. She didn’t know how to react. She didn’t even know where she was going, other than the barn. Wherever she went, she had to say good-bye to Snowman first.
She wished she could take him with her. If they had lived out West, it might have been possible for her to ride away and hide in the wilderness. But northeastern Pennsylvania was too crowded. There was no disappearing in the woods. She’d have to go to a city, where it would be easier to blend. She had the protein bars she’d taken from her go-bag, but only two bottles of water. Any more made her pack too heavy to carry. She’d also taken three hundred dollars, but she didn’t know how far that would get her. Probably not very far. Where was the nearest bus station? If she still had her phone, she could call Jenna and see if she could help. Jenna and her mom were in New York City for the weekend, but she’d be back tomorrow. Maybe she could hide in their basement for a few days, just until she made a plan.
She left the bridge and continued walking along the shoulder of the road. The eight-mile trip to the barn felt much shorter when they drove, but she had to be getting close. She checked her watch. She’d been walking for almost three hours. Maybe her detour through the trees had added some distance to her journey.
An engine sounded behind her. She turned. Headlights approached.
Had he found her? Not already. She couldn’t bear to see him. Lucia ran toward the woods. Hiding behind a tree, she realized she’d left her flashlight on. How could she be so stupid? Hoping the driver of the car hadn’t seen the light, she switched it off. Darkness fell around her. Something moved in the branch above her head.
The vehicle slowed and stopped alongside the road. The driver must have seen her. Lucia peered around the tree trunk. A figure got out of the vehicle. Her heart rapped against her rib cage. Fear slid along her skin like cold water when she realized the headlights were too high for the vehicle to be a car—and the driver wasn’t her father.
Cristan paced his kitchen. Trusting someone else to find his daughter was ripping a hole of frustration inside him. How could he be here, safe in his kitchen, when his little girl was out in the dark facing unknown dangers?
“Drink this.” Sarah pushed a cup of coffee across the island toward him.
“I’m giving Mike thirty more minutes. If he hasn’t found her by ten thirty, I’m going after her.” Waiting was killing him.
“How long has she been gone now?” Sarah asked.
He glanced at the clock. “Three hours.” The longest three hours of his life.
“How far could she get in three hours?”
“It’s dark and cold, but she took provisions with her.” He’d made it easy for her by keeping her go-bag in his bedroom closet. He’d always wanted them to be able to get out of the house quickly in an emergency. There was a fire ladder in his bedroom for a second-story exit, which she thankfully hadn’t attempted to use by herself. But she had turned his paranoia against him. Her pack was loaded with a flashlight, power bars, and clothing. But how far could a thirteen-year-old get alone? “In better weather, we hike regularly. With a full pack, Lucia can manage three miles of flat ground in an hour. Allowing for the darkness, I would guess six miles.”
Sarah took his hand. “So she hasn’t gott
en too far.”
“Six miles is far. It’s cold and dark . . .”
“I know.” She squeezed his hand, and the comfort she offered tempted him. “I won’t claim to know what you’re feeling, but every time my girls are with Troy I have this ball of fear under my heart. Sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe.”
That was exactly how he felt, as if a deep breath would crack his ribs.
She wrapped both hands tightly around his. “Mike is one of the best men I know, and this town knows how to pull together. They’ll find her. I know you want to be out there, but if she’s as mad as you think, she’d probably run from you.”
“She was very angry.” Guilt rested on Cristan’s shoulders. He wished he could go back twelve years in time and not lie to his daughter. But at the time, honesty hadn’t been practical, and he knew if he had to do it all over again, he’d probably make the same choices. He’d hidden the truth from Lucia for multiple reasons. Yes, he’d wanted her to feel normal, but he’d also feared that a young child would not be able to keep such a large secret. There was no way he would have been able to allow her to attend school, and he couldn’t imagine the stress knowing their true situation would have placed on her. As she got older, telling her the truth had felt more and more impossible.
“She’s a teenager. They’re volatile. She’ll get over it.”
“I doubt it.” He simply had to find her. “I can’t sit here any longer. I have to look for her. Would you come with me?”
“Of course.”
“Thank you.” He slipped into his coat and pulled the keys from his jacket pocket. His phone beeped. “It’s Mike.”
Cristan answered.
“I’ve got her.” Mike wasted no words.
Relief nearly crippled Cristan. He covered the speaker and mouthed, “He found her.”
“Thank God.” Sarah exhaled.
Cristan listened to Mike for a few seconds. “I’ll be right there.”
He ended the call and turned to Sarah. “He spotted her walking on the shoulder of the road. She was headed toward the farm. I’m going there now.” He hesitated. “I hate to impose, but would you still come with me? Lucia likes you, and at the moment, Mike says she doesn’t want to speak to me. I think she could use a woman to talk to.”
“Of course I’ll come.” Sarah donned her coat. “Lucia might be angry with you, but she loves you.”
“I’m not sure she can forgive me that quickly.” As he led Sarah out into the darkness, he wondered if his daughter would ever be able to forgive him.
Sarah followed Cristan out to Rachel’s house. He turned into the entrance to the farm and parked in the gravel lot. Sarah pulled her minivan in next to his Mercedes. As Cristan got out of the car, Mike strode out of the barn. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “She’s with Snowman.” He put a hand on Cristan’s chest, stopping him. “If I were you, I’d let Sarah talk to her first.”
Fresh anguish passed over Cristan’s face. With a resigned nod, he went to the house with Mike.
Sarah went into the barn. The dirt aisle was hard and cold under her shoes, and she zipped her jacket to her chin against the chilly night. Horses snorted and feet shuffled in straw. She stopped at a half door with a brass plaque that read Snowman.
The white gelding stood in the middle of his stall. Next to him, Lucia hugged his neck. The horse’s head was bent around the child’s body, as if he were hugging her back.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” Lucia said without moving.
Sarah rested her forearms on the door. “Lucia?”
The girl lifted her head and turned. Tears streaked her blotchy face. Seeing Sarah, she wiped her face on her sleeve. Behind the redness, her skin was pale. “Sorry. I thought you were my dad.”
“Are you cold?”
Lucia shook her head. “I’m OK.”
“I know you’re angry with your dad, but you scared him tonight.”
Lucia’s face hardened. “He lied to me. About everything.” Snowman shifted, bumping her shoulder with his nose. Lucia wrapped an arm under his neck.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Lucia rested her temple against the horse’s head. “No.” Her face was as full of misery as Cristan’s.
“I don’t know what he did, but I do know that he loves you.”
“He shouldn’t have lied to me.” Lucia stroked the horse’s nose with a gloved hand.
“That’s what he said.”
Lucia straightened. “Really?”
“I think he regrets not being more honest with you. People make mistakes.” Sarah had made plenty of her own. “No one is perfect. But I know better than anyone that regrets don’t make bad decisions go away.”
“No. They don’t.” Lucia sighed, sadness trembling in her breath. “I don’t know if I can forgive him.”
The child’s love for her father made his betrayal even more painful.
Sarah sighed, her own regrets swamping her. “I wonder if my girls will feel the same as you do when they get older. Marrying Troy was the biggest mistake I ever made, but I can’t undo it. My only option is to move forward and minimize the damage.”
“You don’t lie to them.”
Sarah shoved her cold hands into her pockets. “I’ve omitted plenty. Some things they’re too young to hear. They wouldn’t understand, and the information would likely just frighten them. That’s the best decision I can make today, but someday I might regret my choice.”
Lucia met Sarah’s gaze. Anger and defiance glittered in the girl’s eyes. “He always told me my mother was killed in a car accident.”
Apprehension stirred in Sarah’s belly. “That isn’t true?”
“She was murdered.” Fresh tears escaped Lucia’s eyes. “That’s not something you hide from a person.”
Shocked, Sarah opened the stall door and went inside. “I’m so sorry.”
Lucia sniffed. A sob trembled on her lips. “He wants to move again. He gave me two hours to pack.”
“I don’t understand.”
Lucia sobbed. “I don’t want to leave my friends. I don’t want to leave Snowman behind. This is the first time I’ve ever been really happy.”
Sarah’s chest ached with empathy for the distraught child. She moved forward and wrapped her arms around her.
Lucia leaned against Sarah. Words tumbled from the child’s mouth, as if she couldn’t hold them back any longer. “We used to move every year. Some places we didn’t even stay that long. This time he said it would be different. He promised.”
“What happened tonight?” Sarah rubbed her back. The child’s body shook as she cried harder. Poor Lucia. And poor Cristan. His wife had been murdered, but why would he keep her cause of death a secret? It didn’t make sense.
“Chief O’Connell came to the house. Dad sent me upstairs. After the chief left, Dad came into my room and told me to pack.” Lucia sniffed. “It was all a lie. I don’t want to start over again.” Lucia pulled back and swiped a glove under each eye. “I don’t want to leave you and the girls either.”
“What can I do?” Sarah asked. Mike had likely gone to talk to Cristan about the dead robbers being found. Why would that trigger a decision to run from Westbury? What was Cristan hiding about his past?
“Talk him out of leaving. Please, Sarah,” Lucia begged.
“I’ll try, but I don’t know why he thinks you have to go.”
“He’s afraid the person who killed my mother might come after me.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Cristan followed Mike into the kitchen, his heart thudding in his chest like an empty drum. Lucia was safe, thanks to the police chief. What would have happened to her if Mike hadn’t found her, if she hadn’t trusted him enough to get into his vehicle?
If Lucia wouldn’t talk to him, he both hoped and feared she’d ta
lk to Sarah. At this moment, all he cared about was keeping his daughter safe. Repairing their relationship, if that was even possible, would have to wait. But keeping his secrets at this point looked like a slim possibility.
He stepped into the warm kitchen. Mike poured two cups of coffee and handed Cristan one.
“Thank you for finding my daughter.”
Mike nodded. “She was cold and tired and glad for a ride.”
If Lucia didn’t know the big cop well, would she have hidden? Would she still be out in the dark, alone?
“Where was she?”
“About two miles from here,” Mike said.
“She was coming here?” Damn. Cristan should have thought of that possibility. The most important things in Lucia’s life were Sarah, her girls, and Snowman.
“Teenagers usually head for a bus station or a friend’s house, but you said Jenna and her mom were away for the weekend. Without a ride, the bus station is too far away, so the barn was the next likely option. If there’s anything I’ve learned since I met Rachel, it’s that girls love their horses more than almost anything.”
Cristan set the coffee down on the island and eased onto a stool. He was relieved that his child was safe, and exhaustion hit him hard.
“Now you want to tell me what the hell is going on?” Mike asked.
“We had an argument.”
“She was pretty upset.”
“Teenagers are volatile.” Cristan used Sarah’s words.
“Lucia has always seemed like a pretty steady kid.” Mike wasn’t buying the story. “Look, I don’t know what your deal is, but I can’t help you if you don’t level with me.”
Cristan clamped his teeth together. Telling Mike, or anyone else, about his past went against the basic premise of his life. “That isn’t possible.”
“Why not?”
Cristan spun. “I’m not who you think I am.”
Mike sighed. “I figured that out months ago.”
“And you’ve done nothing about it?” Now Cristan was confused.
She Can Kill Page 18
