“I invited him to go fishing with us tomorrow, Dad, if that’s okay with you,” she said easily.
“He’s a nice kid, I like him. I get the feeling you do too,” he teased her gently, and she nodded with a grin. “How’s that going to work when you go away to school?” he asked her, hoping it might bring her home more often if they continued dating.
“I don’t know. We’ll see. We both have a lot to do. I guess I’ll see him when I come home.” Bill nodded and still wished she weren’t going away, but he had gotten used to the idea. Jessie had convinced him that letting Lily go away was the right thing to do, even if it was hard for him. It was healthy for her to want to.
The three of them had a good time together the next day at the lake. They caught several fish, and Bill cleaned them when they got home and cooked them for dinner. They were delicious, and afterward Chris took Lily to a movie. He stopped the car and kissed her a few blocks after they left her house.
“I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” he said hungrily, and she smiled at him.
“Me too.” They had wanted to be discreet around her father. They had been falling in love with each other for the past four months, and it was turning from a slow fire into a blaze. They were young and had everything to look forward to. And it felt like more than a summer romance to both of them. Jessie had noticed it too. And she and Bill talked about it on Monday at work.
“It looks like the noble houses of Thomas and Matthews have a romance going,” Bill said as they ate lunch in Jessie’s office, which was becoming a habit he enjoyed. He always had new things to report to her, and she kept him closely informed of what she was doing.
“I know,” she said, about Chris and Lily.
“Do you approve?” Bill asked her.
“Very much so,” she said, smiling at him. “You?”
“He’s a great boy, and he’s wonderful to Lily. I just don’t want either of them to get hurt or disappointed,” he said, looking concerned.
“If only that were possible,” she said with a bittersweet look. “We can’t protect them, or even ourselves. Life happens. We make the best of it, like you, or me, or Lily. That’s all you can do.”
“Are you doing okay now, without Tim?” He usually didn’t like to mention Tim and upset her, but she seemed to be better lately, and she didn’t look as tired as she had when she was living in Squaw Valley. She seemed happier and relieved that her kids were adjusting, even Heather, who was looking forward to the visits of her friends from Squaw. She was still sad about moving to Denver, but she had had some good times since she’d been there and seemed less angry at her mother.
“It’s easier here,” Jessie said quietly. “I would never have had the courage to get out of that house. But it was the best thing for us. Ben told me that a long time ago. But I couldn’t have done it at first, or even for a long time, till I was ready. It’s a whole new life here. I still have the memories, but I don’t have to look at the bed he slept in every day. It’s a relief.” She looked freer now, and less troubled. He had noticed it for the past few weeks. Carole walked into Jessie’s office then, with some more counseling résumés to show her, and Joe was close behind her. They seemed to work together all the time now. They were always working on some project or other with each other. Bill and Jessie had both noticed it, but never commented on it, and this time he couldn’t resist mentioning it to Jessie when they left.
“Do we have an office romance too?” he asked with an amused look, and Jessie glanced at him quizzically.
“She says not. It’s a complicated issue. But it does seem that way, doesn’t it?” There was something different about them, closer and more intimate, without words.
“It does to me too, but he hasn’t said a word to me. But Joe is very private.” Bill knew him well.
“So is she. But she doesn’t want to date anyone, after her divorce and everything else she went through.”
“Well, I think something’s going on. Maybe it’s my imagination,” Bill said, and went back to his office. They had other things to think about before they opened, but he would have been happy for his friend if he had found a woman who cared about him. And Carole was a good woman.
“Do you think they know?” Carole asked Joe when they went back to his office to work on the opening party they were planning. She gave him a guilty look, and he laughed at her.
“Maybe. And what if they do?” It had started a few weeks before, in June, finally, right before Jessie moved to Denver, and they hadn’t told anyone. Carole still couldn’t believe she had gotten past all her own obstacles and objections, but little by little, over many months, Joe had swayed her, and she was glad he had. She had never felt as comfortable with anyone, and everything she had been so concerned about before seemed unimportant now. He accepted her just as she was, and she had fallen in love with him, after swearing she never would again. And even the difference in their ages didn’t matter. They felt made for each other. “We’ll have to admit it sooner or later, you know,” he said gently, smiling at her across his desk. They found a thousand excuses to work together every day. They made a good team, at home and in the office. They were going back and forth to each other’s apartments, and Carole insisted they come to work separately, so no one would figure it out in the office.
“I feel funny telling Bill and Jessie. She’s still so lonely without Tim. I don’t want to upset her by putting our happiness in her face.” Carole looked concerned.
“I think she’d be happy for us. We paid our dues, Carole,” he reminded her. “Especially you.” He leaned over and kissed her. “We deserve this.”
“Yes, we do,” she agreed, and they went back to work on the guest list for The Lily Pad’s opening. But somehow, she just didn’t have the heart to tell Jessie. So for now she and Joe were keeping their romance a secret, and in some ways it made it more exciting. She smiled to herself as she thought about it. It was fun being in love, at any age.
Chapter 27
THE OPENING PARTY Carole had planned for The Lily Pad was more elegant than anyone had expected. Local physicians were invited, and the upper echelons at Craig. She convinced Dr. Hammerfeld to come from Boston, and business associates of Bill’s showed up. Ben Steinberg and Kazuko came from Squaw Valley. They had invited physical therapists and nurses. The head of Lily’s school, Coach Oscar, and Steve Jansen, the architect, invited several friends. Teddy was there. Lily’s friends included Walker and his girlfriend and Jessie’s children. In the end, there were three hundred people milling around the grounds and admiring what they’d done, and enormously impressed by what they hoped to do. They were opening their doors in two weeks, and they had no patients yet, but they had an army of well-wishers and supporters. They all agreed the next day that the party was a big success, and Bill thanked Carole profusely.
“It was a joint effort,” she said modestly. “Everyone worked on it. And Joe helped me organize it,” she said, looking at him with a warm smile. “And we want to plan a fund-raising gala for next year.” It gave Bill the courage to finally ask Joe later that day when they were alone. It was none of his business, but Joe was one of his oldest friends, and he hoped he was happy. He seemed to be, and he lit up like a Christmas tree around Carole. It was impossible not to notice, and she looked radiant.
“Is something going on with you two?” Bill asked as they crossed the grounds to their respective offices.
Joe hesitated for a moment and then nodded. “I’m in love with her. I have been since the day I met her. I didn’t think she’d ever want me. It just shows you how life can turn around.” He looked at his friend seriously then. “I never told you, but I had a loaded gun in my hand the night you called to tell me about Lily. I was going to kill myself that night. And then you told me about her accident, and I realized how self-indulgent and self-pitying I was being, and that you were dealing with something much more important. I put the gun away after we talked, and I got rid of it after that. I just thought my life wa
s over and I was better off dead. And then I came out here to visit you, and you put together The Lily Pad, after my vague suggestion. I got involved in it, and it changed everything. And then Carole showed up and changed my life. I’ve never been happier than I am with her.”
Bill looked shaken by what Joe had told him. “Why didn’t you tell me things were that bad? Why didn’t you call me?”
“It’s just when we need it most that we don’t reach out for help. And I look at what Carole went through, and I realize how insignificant my problems were, even if I thought they were monumental and worth ending my life over. They weren’t. And thank God I didn’t. Look at all the good things that have happened since you called me and I came out here. It’s a whole new life.” It struck both of them that it took so little to either destroy a life or rebuild it. There was only a hair’s difference between the two. And Bill was grateful that Joe had made the right choice. He shuddered to think what might have happened that night if he had called him five minutes later, or not called at all. Joe would have ended his life. And instead he had started over and was happy. “I never expected something like this to come along at my age. And Carole says she didn’t either, and she’s twenty years younger. You just can’t give up. Things can change at any moment, just like they did for me.” And then he looked at Bill pointedly. “You should make an effort to get out there too one of these days. You can’t stay alone forever. You’re still young, and Lily will be off to her own life soon.”
“I know,” Bill said, and looked unhappy at the thought of it. “I don’t know what I’ll do without her.”
“You’ll keep busy here, but that’s not enough. Work isn’t everything. I learned that the hard way.”
“It’s enough for me, as long as I have Lily,” Bill said seriously, and Joe knew he meant it. All he could wish for him in addition was the kind of happiness he had found with Carole. She was the perfect woman for him at this point in his life. She might not have been earlier, or he for her, for a variety of reasons, but she was perfect for him now. She was everything he wanted, just as he was for her. It was just the right match.
They went back to their offices then, and Bill was haunted by Joe’s admission about the gun, and what he had almost done that night. And what a terrible waste it would have been. Bill didn’t tell Jessie or anyone about it, but he was deeply moved by the story.
Their first patient came to them through a local neurosurgeon, two days after their official opening in mid-August. Jessie got the call, about a little boy who had been in a car accident with his parents four weeks earlier. They had both been killed, and he had a T9 spinal cord injury, slightly worse than Lily’s at T10. He was eight years old and was in the care of his grandmother. They got another call from a local surgeon two days later about a twelve-year-old girl who had fallen off a horse. Within a week they had five patients. And by the end of the month they had ten.
Bill looked at Jessie with amazement when he walked into her office. “It really was a case of ‘If you build it, they will come,’ ” he said, smiling at her. “They’re coming.” And they got three more patients on Labor Day weekend. One of them was a fourteen-year-old boy who had had a diving accident in a pool. And then a surgeon in Los Angeles sent them two patients, both of whom arrived by private plane. By the first week of September, they had sixteen patients between the ages of eight and nineteen. It was exactly what they had hoped for. The staff handled each case with precision, skill, and dedication, while Jessie supervised. Bill was thrilled by what was happening. The Lily Pad worked!
It was a busy week for him and Jessie, at home and the office. Heather started school and loved it, which was a huge relief to Jessie. Chris went back to DU, and Jessie settled him in the dorm herself this time, and Bill was flying to Princeton with Lily that weekend. The house was a shambles of packing and preparation, and shopping she had done, and his assistant and their daily housekeeper could hardly keep up with her. Lily was in full swing racing around town getting organized. She went to say goodbye to Jessie and Carole the day before she left, spent the afternoon with Teddy, and she had dinner with Chris that night. He took her out, and on the way back, they talked about what would happen now.
“I don’t want to tie you down, Lily,” he said sadly. “You’re going to college to spread your wings. I don’t want to hold you back.” She was devastated as he said it, and looked up at him with her big lavender eyes.
“Are you dumping me?” He was horrified by what she said.
“Of course not! I wanted to give you your freedom if you want it. I just thought …”
“I love you, Chris.” They hadn’t said that to each other yet, until that night. “I can still have a good time in college. But I’m not going to meet someone like you. I know we’re both young, but I don’t want to lose you. And maybe one day, when we’re older …” She let her words drift off, and he took her in his arms and kissed her. It was all he had needed to hear, and hoped for. He couldn’t imagine her wanting to wait for him, especially at Princeton.
“When you’re really ancient,” he teased her, “like twenty-five maybe, we’ll talk about this again. Meanwhile, Lily Thomas, you’re my girl, you got that? I’ll see you when you get back. I’ll call you tomorrow when you get there. And tell those hot Princeton guys, you belong to me. And you’ve got nothing to worry about here. Okay? Are we square on this?” His eyes were dancing with happiness and love for her.
“Completely,” she said, with stars in her eyes too, and he kissed her again. She could hardly make herself get out of his car when he got her chair out.
“I love you, Lily,” he said when he kissed her for the last time.
“I love you too, Chris.” She rolled into her house then, waved at him, and gently closed the door behind her. It was late, and she hoped her father would be asleep.
He wasn’t. He was lying in bed thinking how empty his life would be without her. And he was awake long after she drifted off to sleep, thinking of Chris.
They flew into the Mercer County airport the next day, in a Canadian Global Express, and a van and driver met them and drove them to Princeton. Lily was in high spirits all the way, and Bill was quiet, listening to her and enjoying her company. She didn’t say anything about Chris, and he didn’t ask her. He knew. He had been young once too.
Lily went to the orientation desk and got her room and dorm assignment, and Bill was grateful to discover that because of her wheelchair, her room was on the main floor of Whitman College, and the driver helped them get all her bags and boxes inside. Bill worked on setting up her computer while she put away her clothes. The room was small, and she had been assigned a roommate, Chiara from Connecticut, and he was startled to see that she was also in a wheelchair when she came in, with a disability similar to Lily’s. They eyed each other suspiciously for a minute, and then they both laughed and started talking. She had been in a car accident at sixteen, and was impressed by Lily’s story and the fact that she’d been in the Paralympics. She had heard about them but never seen them. And her parents chatted pleasantly with Bill while he set up the computer, and Chiara’s father brought in a small fridge.
By eight o’clock the girls were all set for dinner. Lily said goodbye to her father, and her roommate Chiara hugged her parents. The girls were clearly ready for their parents to make a discreet exit and leave them to the excitement of their new life. The two girls were chatting happily as they left, negotiating the paths easily in their wheelchairs, and talking about what eating clubs they hoped to join one day. Lily had read all about them and already knew she wanted Cottage. Chiara said she wanted Ivy. They were the clubs that were a more distinguished version of fraternities and sororities on campus. But they couldn’t join until the spring of their sophomore year, and could use the clubs only as juniors and seniors.
Bill looked at Chiara’s parents ruefully as he stood up, after hooking up the stereo and computer. “I guess that’s our cue to leave before they get back. We’re no longer needed.
” He had a lump in his throat as he said it.
“Looks like it,” Chiara’s father said with a grin and put an arm around his wife. “It’s our first time at college. We’ve got three more at home.”
“She’s my only one,” Bill said bleakly, and with all the dignity he could muster, he left without bursting into tears. He found the driver and headed back to the airport, and two hours later they were in the air, heading back to Denver, and he had a stiff drink. He had never felt so lonely in his life.
They landed at two in the morning local time, and Bill was home by two-thirty. He walked into the house, and the silence was deafening as he gave in to the tears that had been choking him all night. And then he saw that Lily had sent him a text message: “Thank you. I love you, Daddy.” That only made it worse.
Chapter 28
HOW WAS IT?” Jessie asked him with a look of concern the next day. She could see the answer on his face. He looked like someone had died.
“It was okay. She was happy as a lark when I left,” he said grimly.
“It was bad when Chris went away last year too. You get used to their being gone after a while.”
“You’ve got three others. My house is like a tomb.”
“You’ll just have to try and keep busy,” Jessie said gently. She could see how upset he was.
She, Carole, and Joe tried to entertain him in the ensuing weeks, and invited him to dinner. He had a good time with them, but it was always the same when he went home. No Lily. And she was so busy, she hardly called him, and he didn’t want to nag her. He was the childhood cocoon she had shed.
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