She stopped outside of his apartment to knock on the door and waited. After getting no answer, she tried a second time. Possibly, he hadn’t returned from his briefing yet. She slipped some small tools out of her pocket and checked up and down the hallway, then hacked into the control panel to override the lock.
Inside, she put her tools away and took stock of her surroundings, looking for anything out of place. Out of habit, she started a quick once-over through the apartment, which included running a program on her comm that checked for bugs. However, when she got to the bedroom, the sight that greeted her pretty much made her forget every little intention.
Seb was asleep in the middle of his bed. He had no shirt on and a sheet pooled across his hips, so she couldn’t have said whether he wore anything at all. One arm was flung above his head, exhibiting an arresting display of muscles from his biceps, down through his chest. His face was turned toward her, relaxed and almost boyish in sleep, a shadow of whiskers highlighting the strong line of his jaw.
Lord help her, but the man was gorgeous.
A warm flutter through her midsection sent her backing quietly out of the room. She should probably consider getting some sleep herself, since she was nearly running on empty, but the driving need to find answers was keeping her juiced.
Instead, she went into the kitchen to see what she could rummage up. She checked the coldstore and a few cupboards, scrounging enough to make herself a sandwich. As she turned back to the bench after finding a plate, Seb strolled into the room, all sleepy-eyed and stretching… And very definitely half naked. Really, would it have been so hard for the man to put on a shirt? The loose sweats riding low on his hips and bare feet were not helping matters whatsoever.
“Making yourself at home I see.” He rubbed his eyes and forked his fingers through his mussed hair, then slipped onto the stool on the opposite side of the bench.
“You were sleeping. I didn’t think you’d appreciate me waking you up just so I could ask for a snack.”
“Well, I’m awake now anyway.” He grabbed the bread and some cold cuts. “I assume you got what you needed from the command center?”
She nodded as she cut her sandwich in half. “How did your debriefing go?”
He huffed a heavy sigh as he slapped some meat, followed by a side of meat, onto his bread. “Stanton totally shanghaied the meeting. He thinks I’m hiding something, so he ordered Yang to put me on light duties until he gets the answers he wants. Oh, I’m also not allowed to leave the ship for any reason. Of course, Stanton is right on the money, but it only made me more pissed off.”
Guilt slashed through her, and she moved around the bench to stand next to him. “Seb, I’m so sorry.”
He shrugged, muscles rippling down his side, but didn’t look up at her. “Like I said, Stanton’s right. I am keeping something from them. There’s nothing I can do about it until we work out who tried to kill you.”
“Was your CO suspicious?”
He shook his head, glancing up at her, shadows of remorse in his gaze. “No, Bren wasn’t suspicious. Neither was Commander Yang or Alpha. They stood up for me, which made it even worse. Although, maybe Yang thinks something might be going on, but he believes if I’m hiding something, it’s for the right reasons.”
Jenna reached up, hesitating for a spilt second before setting her hand on the hard, warm, muscled flesh of his shoulder. “Maybe I’m biased, but it seems to me you’re doing it for the right reasons.”
She moved until she was almost directly in front of him.
“You’re literally saving my life here, Sebastian Rayne. I have no idea how to tell you what it means to me, that you would risk so much to help someone you met less than thirty-six hours ago.”
“Has it only been thirty-six hours? Feels like a damn week already.”
“It’ll all be over soon, I promise. And then you can get back to your normal life.”
He caught her gaze with an intent stare. “For some reason, I get the feeling that when this is all over, nothing will be the same.”
Her chest tightened and she tried to swallow down the sensation. Seb had been doing his best to help her and all he got in return was a mess in his life. Maybe she should have had second thoughts about letting him help.
“Maybe you’re right,” she replied slowly, not sure how to make this better for him. “But then again, maybe it’ll be like none of this ever happened.”
“So, that’s your plan?” He shifted on the stool until his knee brushed her thigh. “Once you work out who tried to have you killed and you get your revenge—or whatever—you’ll just disappear and I’ll never see you again?”
Her heart hiccupped against her ribs. “Would you want to see me again?”
Oh God, why was she even asking? This was insane. If she managed to survive this off-the-books mission, the only way to safely live out the remainder of her life would be to get as far away from the Knox as possible and start over with a new identity. But the idea of never seeing Seb again left a strange hollowness in the pit of her stomach.
“You know that’s a pointless question, right?” He tilted his head, the light from the bulkhead catching the amber brown of his eyes.
She sent him a small smile. “Turns out a lot of things in life are pointless, but we do them anyway.”
Like kissing him. That seemed pretty pointless, especially since they’d just established the whole not-seeing-each-other-ever-again thing. But she couldn’t stop herself shifting her hand from his shoulder to his cheek, where the hint of stubble pricked her palm, and then lightly touching her mouth to his.
For a long second she merely enjoyed the sensation of his lips against hers, the simplicity of that basic human contact warming her in places that had long been cold.
One of Seb’s hands landed on her hip, and she leaned deeper into the kiss, giving him her weight and letting herself revel in the warmth of his bare chest against her. But as the kiss intensified, as his tongue slid along hers, it wasn’t enough any longer.
She hooked her leg over his and set herself in his lap, one of his hands on her lower back urging her forward until there was nothing between them. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, needing to hang onto him as desperation shot through her like a wildfire, catching everything in its path without prejudice.
Seb’s hands ran up and down her back, and she arched in his hold as shivers followed in wake of his touch. God, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this alive, as though she’d been going through life in a walking sleep, everything not quite clear or lucid. And now Seb had come along to wake her up with all the bright intensity of bursting fireworks. She’d already taken so much from him, but now she needed more. She needed all of him. His strength, his warmth, and that intense light he got in his gaze whenever he thought she wasn’t paying attention.
She let her hands fall down his chest, tracing through the light sprinkling of hair, down to the waistband of his sweats. But when she would have gone farther, he grabbed her wrist.
Breath catching in her chest, she looked at him. She could feel the evidence of his desire between them, yet all she saw in his gaze were reservations.
“Jenna, I won’t pretend I don’t find you attractive, and part of me wants this to go where it’s so obviously going, but I just can’t.”
She pulled her hand from his grasp, cold welling within her and spreading outward. “What do you mean, you can’t?”
Expression troubled, he looked away. “It’s not a good time to get distracted by each other.”
She slid off his lap and stood on unsteady legs, the cold within her turning into a full blizzard. Did this come back to her being an agent? She knew what everyone believed about CI, but thought maybe Seb had come to see she wasn’t a typical CI droid anymore. Did he think this wasn’t really her? That she was playing some part? Well, she couldn’t really blame him, it’s what she’d been doing when they’d met, and he didn’t know her at all.
Little did
he know, but Seb had been the first person in a long time she’d totally let her guard down with, had been nothing but herself. No pretenses, no games, no falsehood. Just her and her heart open to get smashed by this inadvertent rejection.
Jenna crossed her arms and glanced away. “I understand where you’re coming from.” She couldn’t stand in front of him any longer, not if she wanted to keep any shred of pride.
“But we’re okay, right? I’m not trying to hurt you, Jenna, I just want to be upfront, so you know where I stand. You’re sexy as hell, and I might be a flirt, but I don’t lead women on.”
She nodded, calling on every scrap of her training to keep her expression neutral. “It’s fine, Seb. Let’s just call it and move on. If you don’t mind, I’m going to take a shower.”
He stood, and in her peripheral vision, his posture seemed uncertain. “Yeah, sure. Of course. You’ll find clean towels in the recess behind the door.”
Jenna headed toward the escape of the bathroom door, but when he called her name, her feet stopped, even though her mind ordered her to keep marching.
“I nearly forgot,” he said from somewhere behind her. “Bren and a few of the others from the squad are going out for after-shift drinks and invited us along. I suppose I should’ve refused, but I couldn’t think of a reason—”
“No, it’s fine.” She swallowed down the tightness in her voice. “You did the right thing. Half the struggle in this sort of assignment is maintaining a convincing cover. You find yourself doing things you know aren’t right.”
Like getting involved with Seb when her life as she knew it had an expiration date. She didn’t wait for him to reply, but stepped into the bathroom and shut the door firmly behind herself. Inside, she let her mask slip away and sank down to sit next to the basin.
Her eyes burned, and she tried to blink away the moisture, but it only made the tears escape quicker. The first time she’d let herself start caring for a guy in years, and she had to pick the one with morals that ran so deep, he actually wanted meaningful sex, not some empty one-night stand. A miserable laugh escaped at the ridiculousness of it, because stupidly, it only made her want him more.
But he’d made his position clear. At least in this, she could respect his decision. Since she’d upended his life so completely, it was the only thing she could do for him.
So when she came out of this bathroom, it would be like those desperate kisses she’d laid on him had never happened. She’d distance herself, act like the professional operator she’d been trained to be, and would find out who’d planned to kill her, so she could get out of Seb’s life sooner rather than later.
And that hollow feeling in the depths of her being that had spurred her on to kiss him in the first place? Once they’d gone their separate ways, she’d bury it deep and get along just fine without him.
Chapter Ten
Seb drained the last of his coffee and set his cup aside, before returning to the same thing he’d been doing for the past hour—watching Jenna work. After she’d come out of the shower, it’d been like that moment in the kitchen had never happened. She didn’t seem the least bit affected by it, requesting a strong coffee and turning her concentration to whatever program she’d pilfered from the command center computers.
Meanwhile, despite juicing himself up on copious amounts of caffeine, he still hadn’t quite managed to drag himself out of the tailspin. It definitely hadn’t flushed the burning lust from his system.
Hell and damnation. Had he really said no to her? She’d been like melting chocolate in his arms, all warm, sweet and addictive, and he’d gone and told her no.
How many kinds of idiot am I?
Okay, so the whole thing with Lawler made him second-guess every decision and his willingness to trust people, but did it really matter? She was here, she’d been on board, and would leave in a matter of hours or days, never to be seen again. For most guys, that’d be the dream—hot sex with a gorgeous woman, no strings attached and no need to worry about the inevitable awkward post-match review.
Yep, he was the guy who said no to that.
Moron.
He’d half considered telling her that he’d changed his mind, but he didn’t need to look pathetic as well as idiotic, so he’d kept his mouth shut and stared at her while she worked, ignoring the tight discomfort in his groin. That was what he got for listening to his doubts. An acute case of blue balls.
“Okay, it’s ready to go.” Jenna sat back on the couch, satisfaction crossing her face as she studied the datapad in front of her. “It’s starting to calibrate now. When it’s done, we’ll have a signal to follow.”
He crossed his arms, wishing he could share some of her enthusiasm. Instead, taking another step ahead in this crazy mission was making him crankier. “How long will that take?”
She shrugged as she stood then retrieved the light jacket she’d flung across the back of the couch earlier. “I’m hoping it’ll be done in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours. But it depends on how well encrypted the device it’s searching for is. If I’m really unlucky, it might take longer than forty-eight hours.”
He pushed off from where he’d been leaning against the kitchen bench, a sharp swell of anticipation cresting and then retreating like a wave. “So you’ll be here for at least another day or two. Maybe three.”
And why did that prospect light him up like a damned signal flare? No matter how much time she spent in his apartment, it didn’t change the salient facts: she was playing a role and he had no idea who she really was, and once she was done letting him help, she’d cut out of his life quicker than a shooting star. And if she was really lucky, she wouldn’t end up dead somewhere, another victim of the war and CI’s need to keep their shady organization sacred.
“I can’t afford to stay here longer than forty-eight hours. Sitting in once place increases the risk of me being exposed. If the program hasn’t discovered the device by then, I’ll be switching to plan B.”
“What does plan B entail? No, let me guess. I’m better off not knowing.”
“Truthfully, I don’t have a plan B yet.” She headed to the end of the couch and slipped on her shoes. “But when I do, you’re right, it’s better if you don’t know. You can’t give them information you don’t have.”
“They could still torture me. In fact, I’m pretty sure Stanton’s already got that on his to-do list.”
She avoided his gaze, her demeanor shooting a cold shiver down his spine.
“Tell me Stanton isn’t going to torture me over that stupid empty drive you gave me.”
“He won’t. Probably.”
“Great,” he muttered, shrugging into his jacket. “Where are we going now?”
“Someone organized for us to go out with his friends.” She didn’t wait for him to reply, but headed toward the door, not quite in a huff, but she definitely had a bug up her butt about something. Maybe she wasn’t all that impressed about the pretend socializing she’d have to do.
Hell, it wasn’t like she was the one who’d just been told some lurky, cliché CI dude probably wouldn’t torture him for information he didn’t have. If anyone had a reason to be in a huff, it was him. It was his friends they were lying to. His fingernails on the line if Stanton decided to take any subsequent debriefings to the next level. His life she was rearranging with all the finesse of an asteroid impact.
He followed her out, finding her waiting just outside the door for him. As soon as he stepped beside her, an easy smile transformed her features.
“At least try to look like you’re having a good time,” she all but chirped, then sashayed toward the transit. She’d put on a casual pair of dark pants that hugged her rear end like a second skin. Heels on her dainty feet gave her a little extra height, while the light-blue top she wore ebbed and flowed around her curves like water, giving tantalizing hints at the shape of her breast and waist as she moved.
This time, the hot eruption of lust flash heated him from the inside out like a
supernova. Christ. Why had he stood on his stupid morals, let his doubts and what had happened with Lawler color his decisions? They could have spent the afternoon in bed, and right now he wouldn’t be discreetly trying to deal with some adjustment issues south of his belt buckle.
Except his damn conscience reminded him that whatever physical pleasure he found, probably would have left him feeling like he’d taken advantage of her. The kind of help Jenna needed didn’t require them being naked. The most powerful spy agency in the galaxy wanted her dead, and if that didn’t kill his lust, he was a bigger jerk than he’d ever realized.
The notion of her death didn’t work quite as well as an ice bath. In fact, it only put him in a worse mood.
“At least try to look relaxed, like you actually want to be going out with me.” She jabbed him in the side with her elbow, catching him between two ribs and leaving him jerking from the sharp ache.
“Ow. Because pain is such a great motivator. Is your elbow made of titanium or something?” And that was half the problem. He did want to go out with her. See a movie. Eat a steak. Take her to bed at the end of the night and sleep with her in his arms. Yep, total moron. A big, sappy moron.
Her smile widened as the transit arrived. “Trade secret. If I told you, I’d have to kill you. Or at least cut out your tongue so you couldn’t tell anyone else.”
“Charming and cliché. I can’t top that.”
The doors closed and she half turned to look up at him, the easygoing expression slipping from her face.
“Do you remember all the details of our cover?”
“I think so.” He cast his mind back to the facts they’d agreed on when first concocting this plan.
“You think, or you know? Because they are two very different things. And try not to drink too much. It’ll be harder to keep the facts straight.”
He sent her an unimpressed glare. Did she really think he was that dumb?
“You worried I’m going to get messy drunk, blow your cover, and then sleep in a pool of my own vomit?”
Cover Fire (Valiant Knox) Page 11
