by Cliff Ryder
Alex didn’t answer. There was nothing to say.
She wasn’t asking him a question or making a suggestion. She was just laying down the rules as she saw them, and telling him how it was going to be.
She had that right. He knew there was no way to argue. Everything he’d told her about his life, his work and so many other things—all of it had been a lie.
He’d told himself that it was for her own good.
He knew the work he did saved lives, a lot of lives.
He knew that he’d helped more than once to make the world a better place, but for the first time he wondered what that mattered if the tiny bit of the world that was his was skewed or out of balance.
Was it worth it to save the world if the one person who trusted and loved you was hurt in the process, or worse than that, lost? Had his recent decisions now put Brin and Savannah at an even greater risk than they had been before?
“I love you,” she said. Then she kissed him gently, and it was his turn for tears. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he needed to do, but he had no strength. He felt like a rag doll in her arms, but there was warmth there, and when she leaned in this time, much more tenderly, he felt her heart beating against his chest. He closed his eyes.
“Don’t you think you’d better check in?” she whispered. “They’ll be looking for you by now.”
He opened his eyes and stared at her, then turned toward the computer. It sat dark and quiet, and in that moment he hated it. He hated everything it stood for, the secrecy, the lies, the pain. He hated how it had drawn Brin in, despite his years of effort keeping her apart from the darkness that made up his life. He shook his head.
“To hell with it. They will have been watching anyway,” he said. “I’m too tired to report in right now. I’ll do it later.”
She hugged him a little tighter. “Will you ever be safe, Alex?” she asked. “Will we?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. He held her, and they both drifted off, fatigue and emotional exhaustion sinking them into sleep.
When a sudden knock came on the door, Alex almost leaped out of his skin. Alex glanced at the window, but there were no flashing lights. The sun was shining. A new day had started.
“Be careful,” he said. “We don’t know—”
It was too late. Brin crossed the room quickly.
She reached the door and flung it open, and Alex flinched. There was a curse from the door, and he saw someone step back quickly as the door flew open. Then Brin gave a soft cry, and he staggered to his feet. By the time he managed to make it halfway across the room, a small dark streak launched through the door and hit him midthigh.
He shook, but stood his ground as Savannah hugged him tight.
“Daddy!” she squealed.
Karen stepped through the door, frowning, and Brin shut it behind her.
“Jesus, Brin,” she said. “What the hell is going on?”
Brin laughed, but the sound had a tinge of hysteria to it, and no one joined her. Alex led Savannah back to the couch and dropped heavily onto the cushions, pulling her into his lap.
Karen stared at him, then turned to Brin and shook her head.
“When you say there’s trouble, I guess it’s true,”
she said. “What happened to him? He looks like he just came in from a war zone.”
“Something like that,” Brin replied, giving her friend a quick hug. “Something very much like that.”
“You should see the other guy,” Alex said, trying to keep his voice light. It shook slightly.
“I may ask you about that other guy one of these days,” Karen said. “I came as soon as Savannah woke up. She hasn’t been getting much sleep.”
Alex hugged Savannah, who looked up at him as if he’d sprouted antennae. Karen had pretty much the same expression as she turned first to Brin, then to Alex, then back and shrugged.
“Everything’s good now?” she asked.
Brin wiped tears from her eyes and nodded. She tried to speak, lost control again and choked on the words. Finally, she said, “As good as it’s going to get, we think.”
Karen shook her head and turned back toward the door.
“I’m going to go get some sleep,” she said.
“Your phone call kind of disrupted my beauty sleep. Give me a call next time there’s a war.”
Neither Brin nor Alex was able to answer, and Karen let herself out.
“Mommy,” Savannah said, “What’s wrong with Daddy? He’s bleeding!”
Brin stared at her daughter, then turned to Alex.
She smiled. “Nothing a good hug won’t fix,” she said. “We’re just very tired, baby. I think maybe it’s time we tuck you into your bed.” She looked at her watch. “It’s very early in the morning, so maybe just a little more sleep for you?”
Savannah looked anything but sleepy, but she nodded. She hugged Alex and rolled off of him, then turned back and stared at his shoulder. She pointed at it and frowned.
“You have a boo-boo,” she said.
Alex glanced down and saw that blood had leaked through the bandages and spotted his shirt.
“So I do,” he said. “I’ll have to put a new bandage on it. Let’s get you to bed, and I think maybe it’s time for Daddy to take a shower and go to bed, too. Daddy is very tired.”
“Mommy can fix it,” she said solemnly. “She’s very good at it. She put one on my knee, and it’s all better.”
Savannah leaned over and lifted the hem of her flowered skirt to show off the knee in question, and Alex reached out, tugging her hair gently.
“So she is,” he said. “Very good at that, and a lot of other things. She’s also right about bedtime.”
He rose then, and followed as Brin led Savannah to her bedroom. They tucked her in, Alex dropping clumsily to one knee to give her another hug, and to kiss her cheek.
“Are you okay, Daddy?” she asked.
He smiled at her, but as he did, he felt a strong tug at his heart. There was so much to do—so many things that would change, maybe too fast for him to explain them.
“Yes, baby,” he said. “I’m okay. It will all be okay.”
He rose then, and Brin steadied him. They watched as Savannah snuggled in, grabbed her favorite stuffed tiger and wrapped herself around it.
She pulled one of her pillows over her head, like Alex often did, and he had to turn away slightly. He didn’t want her to see him crying and misunderstand.
“Good night,” Brin said softly, turning to the door and walking very close beside her husband. He leaned on her a little bit, but tried not to put much of his weight on her. It hadn’t been an easy time for either of them. They walked down the hall to the bathroom and inside. Brin pressed him to the wall and held him there. He stood still, watching, as she went to the tub and started filling it with hot water.
When she had the heat adjusted to her taste, she turned back to him and began very slowly, and very gently to strip away his soiled clothes. She unwound the bandage on his shoulder and winced when she saw the ugly, bruised wound left by the bullet. It had started to heal, but the fight with Dayne had opened it at the edges. It seeped blood.
“Does it hurt?” she asked.
“Not as much as you’d think,” he replied.
She nodded and went to the medicine cabinet, returning with ointment and clean gauze.
“You’ll have to try not to get this wet,” she said as she applied the clean dressing. She did the same for his head. When she saw the missing patch of skin where Dayne had cut him, she looked away for a second. Then she squared her shoulders and applied antiseptic salve to the scab, covering it with another clean gauze wrap.
She led him to the tub and helped him step in, sliding into the hot water with such a sigh of pleasure that, finally, she smiled a genuinely happy smile.
“No more secrets,” she said. “Promise me.”
“None,” he said softly. “Ever. I love you, you know.”
Brin stood and
unbuttoned her blouse, letting it drop away behind her. She stepped out her skirt and within moments stood naked, staring down at him. Then, delicately, she stepped into the tub and slid down between his legs, letting the steamy water wrap around them both.
When she was settled, she leaned into him, her breasts brushing his chest, and her finger stroking his cheek. She stared into his eyes again, and this time he thought she found what it was she needed.
“Prove it,” she said.
Holding her tightly, and sliding her into a tight embrace, he did.
IN THE BACK OF THE FREEZER, tucked behind a bag of frozen broccoli and a steak, a thin metal tube rested. It was about the size of a lipstick container, and frosted with the cold. Brin had placed it there just before Alex arrived home. She knew she should have told him the truth, but she would allow herself this one lie. The nanoagents weren’t sus-ceptible to extreme cold, just heat. She didn’t know exactly what she’d do with it—where she could go to work on it—but she knew it might be a cure.
Someday.
If it was in her power, she would make her husband—and her world—right again. She had hope and that, at least, was a small start. Her memory was excellent. The loss of the data wasn’t that big a deal, so long as she had the nanoagents, the possibility of reconstructing the work for good purposes was there.
If only she could win the race with the clock.
If only she could do it before they were out of time.
DENNY TALBOT NODDED to himself. He’d just received his orders from Kate Cochran. He’d know it would come down to this but he always regretted losing a good agent. The accident would be tragic and the child would be orphaned but Kate’s directive had been clear.
“They know too much, she has the nanoagents, they can’t be trusted,” Kate had sated before issuing the order.
Denny called the agent he’d put on standby notice.
“The termination order is in effect. Do what you have to do.”
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Document creation date: 07/31/2012
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