Curious, he lifted his chin, staring down at Kaori in confusion. “You are sorry?” he inquired, the sound of his boots connecting with the floor echoing throughout the spacious room. “Have you done something for which you must apologize?”
Trembling uncontrollably she took a step backward to keep distance between them, unsure of how she should react to his casual demeanor. He had caught her trespassing on the private rooms of his home. It seemed strange for him to be so calm. She was prepared for anger. Some break in his composure which would indicate displeasure. She was beginning to wonder if he was capable of rage. The man was unbreakable. Impossible to read. “No, I… I know I should not have come here without your permission. It is just… I…” her eyes trailed over the blanket still clutched in her hands, the rest of the words lost to her as she gave a long exhale, shaking her head in frustration at her inability to speak. There was something about him that destroyed her confidence. He must think me an absolute simpleton… “I did not think it would be proper for you to see me… as I am.”
“Proper?” Therek’s brow rose, seemingly amused by something Kaori said. “Do you refer to mere propriety, or does this have something to do with the stories about me that your friends have filled your head with?”
Warmth rose to her cheeks at the mention of Liurn’s warnings about Therek’s reputation. She hadn’t even considered them. To think on them now caused the tips of her ears to burn with humiliation as she tightened her hold on the blanket. This was a nightmare. After the suspicions presented by Liurn and Davian about Therek’s lack of propriety, she had somehow managed to find herself in his presence, barely clothed, standing in the middle of a private bedchamber, alone. No one knew where she was. No one would hear her if she had need to scream. Although she didn’t think it possible, her situation just continued to get worse. “A… a bit of both, I suppose,” she stammered. She didn’t know what else to say.
A quiet chuckle could be heard from under Therek’s breath, out of place with the disdainful expression on his face. Shaking his head, he turned away from Kaori, the dull thud of his boots carrying him over to stand in front of the massive wardrobe. With a strong sweep of his arm he pulled it open to reveal several articles of clothing inside, his eyes focused straight ahead on the fabric as he spoke. “These gowns once belonged to my mother. If you are truly concerned about propriety, you are welcome to borrow one and see yourself appropriately clothed. I will be in my study if you are not too afraid to speak with me when you are done.”
Ashamed, she lowered her eyes to the floor, unable to bear looking at him. Why did everything she said around Therek have to come out wrong? After everything he had done to help her, she repaid his kindness by insulting him. Questioning his character because of a rumor. Countless times she denounced the stories as myth yet for some reason Liurn’s words stuck with her and she couldn’t understand why. Through it all, Therek had proven himself a perfect gentleman. Never had he attempted to take advantage of her while she was vulnerable and even now he maintained his distance, head held high as he made his way out of the room, leaving her there to stare after him.
She wasn’t being fair. Therek didn’t deserve to be treated like this. Pride aside, she was going to have to accept her mistakes and offer him an apology. An explanation for why she doubted him. Unfortunately, she didn’t have that explanation. In the back of her mind she wondered if there was no reason other than the uncertainty she felt when she was around him. Not because she feared he would try to violate her in some way, but because she didn’t feel in control while in his company. His presence created thoughts in her mind that were unbecoming of a lady. Salacious. Downright sinful. She was the one at fault, not Therek. It was just easier to blame her odd behavior on Liurn’s stories rather than admit to Therek that she couldn’t keep her wits about her when he was around.
“Stop looking at me,” she muttered, lifting her hand to shield the image of the woman from her sight. It was just a painting but it felt like the woman’s eyes burned into her with disapproval. Anxious to be away from the eerie portrait, Kaori shuffled forward, trying to keep her attention focused on the dresses which hung inside the wardrobe. Therek had offered her to choose one of the garments to wear. It seemed an even greater insult to put on a gown once worn by a woman far more deserving of the fine fabric than Kaori would ever be. Silks and satins draped from the hooks, the style of clothing out of date but still beautiful in its own right. It was a wonder the dresses were in such good condition. Despite their age, they were well taken care of, clearly tended to by the servants to maintain their color and design. The care Therek took in preserving this room made it obvious that he held a great deal of respect for his mother. A deep love and devotion that carried on even after her death.
Afraid that she would damage the gowns simply by touching them, Kaori tentatively used the tip of her index finger to push the first one aside, looking it over in admiration. Unable to help herself, she reached for the garment, cautious and attentive, removing it from the wardrobe with the utmost care. The rich sapphire blue fabric practically shimmered in the sunlight which filtered in through the window. It was simple yet elegant, the sleeves tight around the bicep while expanding outward at the elbow in a dramatic bell-shape which draped nearly to the hem of the dress. Lost in thought, Kaori let the blanket she clung to fall to the ground, no longer caring about its presence. She wanted to see what the dress looked like on her. If it would even fit. The woman in the painting was a fully matured lady. Although Kaori was slender enough to squeeze into the garment, it was the other attributes of her figure that made her doubt whether she would fill it out properly. But she wouldn’t know until she tried. Therek had placed no limitations on which gowns she could choose. This one was more than she could have hoped for when she first set out to find something to wear.
Excitedly she let the torn fabric of her robe slide off her arms, followed quickly by the thin layer of material that made up her nightgown. Not wanting to remain unclothed for too long, she pulled the gown over her head, basking in the soft, smooth sensation of the silken fabric along her skin, finer than any dress in her own collection back home. The deep shade of blue stood out against her pale skin, the design hugging the elegant curve of her waist and hips. It required no corset to show off her figure, clinging in just the right places to provide shape without being too tight for comfort. A wide belt accented with a border of diamonds wrapped around the waist, tying in a loose knot near the naval to let the end hang gracefully down the front of the skirt which brushed over her bare toes along the floor. Little adornment had been added to the lower neckline other than a sapphire and diamond brooch strategically placed at the center of the chest to draw attention without overpowering the design. She was amazed to discover that her body fit snugly into the bodice, leaving no gaps or extra material the way she feared. It was too easy to forget that she was more of a woman than she liked to believe. Her parents had treated her like a child for so long, she still had difficulty accepting the fact that she was an adult… but in this gown, she certainly couldn’t deny the truth. Nor could anyone else who may see her in it.
Not wanting to leave anything behind, Kaori gathered up her discarded blanket and nightclothes, giving one final cursory glance around the room before making her way toward the door. Her feet remained bare, but that mattered little now that the rest of her was covered. Propriety didn’t require shoes. As long as her legs were concealed from view, Therek would never have to know that she wore nothing on her feet.
Once in the hall she hurried along the corridor to where her room was located, quickly stepping inside long enough to return the blanket to the bed and toss what was left of her nightgown into a trash bin near the door. There wasn’t enough of the garment to bother trying to salvage. When life returned to some semblance of normalcy she could replace them with a better quality gown. For now, she didn’t want to leave Therek waiting. She had put him through enough and she needed to find him and ask his forgi
veness before she lost the nerve.
The halls were like a maze, twisting and turning to lead deeper into the massive structure Therek called home. He had spoken of there being a study but Kaori had no means of knowing where it might be. She feared he would give up on waiting for her if she didn’t find him soon.
There were very few servants scattered throughout the house, their eyes watching Kaori with heightened interest, clearly curious about her presence. Polite in her mannerisms, she asked along the way if any of them could direct her to Therek’s study. They spoke no words, some diverting their eyes to pretend they hadn’t heard the question while others offered nothing more than a quick gesture toward another corridor. An unhelpful lot they were. She wondered if they were always so timid or if it was merely because she was unfamiliar. A stranger in their home that they weren’t sure if they could trust around their master.
Eventually she found herself in a wider hall, the artwork on the walls and ceiling more intricate than those Kaori had seen in other parts of the house. Painted with greater care, the abstract shapes gave a splash of color to the otherwise dreary décor. Sconces lined the corridor, many of which remained unlit. Those that had not been neglected cast eerie shadows across the floor, dancing soundlessly along the walls as Kaori passed. Noise could be heard coming from one of the rooms up ahead, an occasional footstep echoing into the hall. Kaori slowed her pace, not wanting to startle Therek if it was in fact him. So much time had elapsed since they parted ways. She didn’t know exactly what kind of work was required of a duke, but she figured there was plenty for him to do after being gone to Eykanua for so long. Her company would no doubt hinder him from getting much done.
Tentative in her motions she came to pause outside the door, hand raised to knock lightly on the wooden frame. It was open enough for her to see inside, recognizing Therek’s figure standing behind a large desk, his head lifting to glance toward the door at the sound of Kaori’s arrival. “Come in,” he motioned for her to step forward, his long legs carrying him out from behind the desk to pull the door open further, invitingly.
Kaori gave an appreciative nod, the uncomfortable racing of her heart returning instantly at being in his presence. There was so much she wanted to say! Since making the decision to grant a much needed apology she had gone over in her mind how she would present the statement without hurting her pride too deeply. Nothing sounded right. Everything was too contrived. Therek wasn’t the type of man who would accept a request for forgiveness if it didn’t sound genuine. And it would be genuine. That much she knew with absolute certainty but her inexperience at admitting fault would make it seem less sincere. Forced.
Thinking over the lessons her mother taught in regards to etiquette, Kaori moved forward with slow, deliberate steps, conscious of the weight she placed on her feet to make her stride more delicate, almost seeming to float across the floor. As she came through the door she was aware of Therek’s eyes on her, a curious expression on his face. Impossible to decipher, as usual. She couldn’t tell if he was disappointed to see her in his mother’s clothes or if his steady gaze was in approval of her graceful entrance. More refined than he was used to seeing. He started to move his arm to close the door behind Kaori, thinking better of it before it clicked shut, quickly pulling it open once again.
“That gown fits you nicely.”
“Does it?” she glanced down at the dress she wore, grateful for a break in the awkward silence between them. Conversation was good. If they could just keep it going without her saying something foolish, their meeting may turn out more tolerable than she feared. “I… thank you, Your Grace. You are too kind.”
He chuckled quietly, observant enough to be aware of her attempts at civility. She had hoped the flowery words would roll more easily off her tongue but she’d become too accustomed to saying what was on her mind in a more straightforward manner. To dress everything up seemed a waste of time, but in respectable society it was expected. And Therek was the most respectable society had to offer.
Nonchalant, he waved Kaori toward a large cushioned chair situated in front of the desk, keeping his distance to avoid making her more uncomfortable than she already was. “You are welcome to sit, if you like. I am sure you must be rather fatigued.”
“I prefer to stand. I…” she caught herself starting to fall back into her usual speech patterns, scolding herself mentally. They had only been in each other’s company for a moment and she was already failing to conduct herself like a lady. “I appreciate your hospitality, Your Grace. I am… in your debt.”
Her eyes followed Therek as he moved to stand in front of the desk, his head cocked to the side, returning her watchful gaze. Something about the way he looked at her made her feel exposed. As if the yards of fabric that covered her now left her no less naked than she had been while dressed in her tattered nightclothes. A shiver coursed through her spine at the thought, forcing her to look away in fear that Therek would sense her discomfort.
“You amuse me,” he gave a slow shake of his head, the gleam in his eyes revealing some strange pleasure at watching her squirm. As if he was laughing at her inside. Relishing in her humiliation.
“Amuse you?” she asked, her response more heated than she liked. It took all her willpower to bite her tongue to keep from saying anything more. She hadn’t come there to be a source of entertainment. And to think she’d been prepared to apologize to this insufferable man!
At the sharpness of Kaori’s tone Therek’s lips curled upward into a more pronounced smile. Enjoying her discontent. “Yes,” he stated matter-of-factly, leaning his weight backward to rest atop the edge of the desk, hands clasped, resting casually over his lap. “You are a perplexing woman, Lady Kaori. One minute you verbally put me in my place and the next you fumble over your own tongue.”
Kaori’s mouth hung open, no words forming on her lips. How could she defend against his observation when she knew it was true? “I…” warmth rushed to her cheeks, painting her high cheekbones a bright shade of pink. “If you must know, I was attempting common courtesy. Women are supposed to be complimentary, are they not?”
“Women are too complimentary, in my opinion. The reason I return to your company time and again is because you do not dance around your point. It is a breath of fresh air next to the girls at court.” He continued to watch her, the same unreadable expression on his handsome features. She didn’t know what to say. It was both a compliment and an insult. He thought her rough around the edges. Lacking the finer qualities of a lady – yet he liked that about her? It didn’t make sense.
“You confuse me, Your Grace,” she sighed, releasing some of the tension which had begun to take over her body. Why did she have to be so uncomfortable around him? His title; she thought instantly, laughing quietly to herself. He was the Duke of Avishul. And while he spoke of friendship between them, she remained disallowed from referencing him by his first name in polite conversation. He was her superior in almost every way and regardless of how hard she tried to find fault in him, she tended to find only more flaws in herself while strengthening the image of perfection Therek possessed.
Her words seemed to catch him by surprise, his chin lowering to peer at her, curious. “I confuse you?” he gave a short breath that resembled a laugh, the corner of his mouth twitching upward once again. “Of the two of us, I have always thought myself to be rather easy to read. It is you who is the mystery.”
“Me?” Kaori gawked at Therek to hear him accuse her of being an enigma. From the day they met, she’d never hidden anything from him other than the strange attraction which had begun to build over the months. It didn’t seem wise to let him know that tiny detail. It wasn’t important when there were so many other things they needed to focus on. “I am an open book, Your Grace. You, however… I have known your face for months yet I do not know you. In Tialore you referred to us as friends but that title does not fit whatever this relationship is that we have.”
“You do not consider me a friend?”
“Perhaps if I was permitted to utilize your proper name when in your private company – Your Grace,” she added the title to emphasize her point, mocking him with the ridiculousness of the truth. Friends didn’t worry about status when outside the public eye. It made him appear arrogant; self-centered for not wanting to lower himself to stand as her equal when they were alone together.
His casual stance tensed somewhat. Removed from his comfort zone. Good. He deserved to know what it was like to feel unease from time to time. “So this is about the use of names?” he asked, the lines on his face deepening with his growing confusion. “I was under the impression that one’s actions were what made them a friend, not the meaningless letters given to identify them at birth.”
For a man of his intelligence, his naivety was baffling. “It is not the name that is important. It is the trust. I know nothing about you. Your family. Your past. The things I know of your life before I met you were told to me by others and they did not place you in a very pleasant light. How am I to defend you to these people if I do not know the truth?”
“You do not need to defend me to anyone,” Therek shook his head vehemently, straightening his posture to rise back to his feet. “I have let everyone think what they will about me for years. It is not your place to become involved.”
“So I am to just stand there and let these people talk about you as though you are some sort of miscreant? No better than the Emperor’s soldiers you once stepped in to protect me from?”
“You do not understand!” Therek’s voice shook, fists clenched tightly at his sides. Barely holding onto the control he possessed moments before. It was the most emotion she had ever seen him express. She wanted to consider it a victory but for some reason it didn’t feel like a triumph. Instead, it made her want to know more.
The Myatheira Chronicles: Volume Four: In the Beginning Page 47
