He pointed beneath the rock.
“That’s where Rio found Millie.”
In an instant I flashed to the storyline of Billy Fielding and the loss of his little girl, and my gut felt hollow. I wondered what kind of a person I’d be if I lost my little girl. We leaned up against the rock wall in silence for at least a minute. Then Gabriel spoke.
“We all have had stuff, stuff in our past buried in the canyon of our lives. Things we’ve done, or that someone has done to us. When those bones are dug up, pain, grief, and shame . . . man, it all comes crashing in. We feel as small and unworthy as a worm under the dirt. The bones must come up. Truth must prevail. That way, they can have a proper burial, and we can move on to new beginnings.”
I had no response, just thoughts. His words burrowed deep into my soul. That canyon he was describing that was my life. It felt like the digging began . . . it began when the love of my life discovered I was a cheat, a fraud, and a liar. I wasn’t sure there was a new beginning for me. If it was true, I was ready for the bones to come up, whatever it took.
After a few more moments of silence, he said, “I’ve got one more place I want to take you, and then we’ll head back.”
21
The Question and the Promise
April 22, 1974
A couple of days after they returned from their visit to Kansas, Gabriel went to The River in the late afternoon before dinner to be alone, just the waters and his thoughts. He rested on a mossy rock that jutted out into the current as he often did. He listened as the water reminded him of his purpose. He felt peaceful rest in these moments. He meditated on the words he’d been reading in The Journal. He spoke often of The River having a voice, and how he loved to hear the waters speak. Gabriel felt the truest version of himself when he was at The River. It was a beautiful trip to Kansas to see his mom, to see where he spent most of his early years, but The River was home now. Gabriel took time that warm afternoon to contribute to The Journal.
Thank you for bringing me home. I don’t understand how everything works. I know I’ve been fortunate. My life is rich. I have a purpose. I’m learning now, I’m not owed anything. I’m just grateful. It’s not about what you think you should’ve gotten in life; it’s about living every moment grateful for each day, each breath, each pulse of the heart, each person in your life. Nothing is guaranteed. I want to make the most of every day. Today I decide, today I choose, today I can give myself away and live a life of love . . . a life that speaks of destiny. I want to make memories that last forever!
The spring sun lifted the canyon temperatures into the eighties. Gabriel took off his river sandals, rolled his pants up, and slipped his feet into the chilly waters, wiggling his toes. The sun’s rays warmed his cheeks. A familiar screech radiated from the sky. He peeked through a squint to see the silhouette of a majestic hawk passing back and forth in front of the sun. A smile emerged while he remembered his first night back at The River. The stirring of the waters, his first encounter with Tabitha, and his first run on the big white water, all vivid memories of how he wrestled with his grief in the gentle arms of The River. On the cusp of drifting off to sleep, he caught a whiff of a familiar smell, vanilla tobacco smoke. He opened his eyes to see the white-haired black man crouched over him with a puzzled brow and his pipe clinched in his teeth.
Gabriel started.
“Ezra!”
“I wasn’t sure if you were breathin’!”
“You gotta warn me next time.” Gabriel laughed as he sat up.
Ezra grunted as he lowered himself slowly and sat down next to him.
“I was just out for a walk and here’s this lifeless body layin’ on a rock. Dear Lord.” The old man started the deep and raspy cough that had been plaguing him through the winter.
“Are you feeling okay, Ezra?”
The coughing fit kept up a little longer.
Gabriel frowned. “You need to get to a doctor.”
“I’ll be fine, son.”
“I need you around, you know. I’m going to do something, Ezra . . . something big.” Gabriel smiled as he looked out over the sun-drenched white water.
“Oh really?” Ezra puffed more smoke into the air as Gabriel tried to find the words.
Gabriel continued, “When you know you’re supposed to be with someone, you know it in your soul, and I know . . . I just want to spend the rest of my life with her. That’s all there is to it.”
Ezra’s face lit up. “Oh, sweet cinnamon. Are you gonna . . . ?”
Gabriel nodded.
Ezra wore a look of pure contentment as he peered out over the water.
“When?”
“Tomorrow night.”
“Does Jacob know?”
Gabriel nodded again.
“Oh, my Lord, my Lord. I hoped beyond hope I’d live to see this day.”
The next day around lunchtime, Gabriel found Tabitha reading out on the deck of the lodge.
“Hey, don’t go anywhere tonight. I’ve got plans for us.”
She laid her book on her chest.
“Oh really? What kind of plans?” She grinned.
“Nothing big. Just plans. I’ll meet you right here at seven o’clock.”
She flashed a brilliant smile. “Okay, then.”
Gabriel tried to hold his excitement back. “Seven o’clock.” He pointed at her.
She pointed back and touched her finger to his.
“Seven o’clock, Mr. Clarke.”
The night was warm and clear. Gabriel wore his favorite thin denim shirt and faded Levi blue jeans. He sat in his old step-side pickup, waiting for Tabitha to appear from the lodge. His heart raced as he thought of all the things that could go wrong. He wanted it to be perfect. He had cleaned out his truck earlier in the day, but he noticed a new place where the cloth bench seat split again.
“Agh!”
He yanked the duct tape from his glove box and peeled the tape off. He put it up to his mouth to rip it with his teeth. Just then, he looked up and saw her. He froze. He’d never seen her like this. He’d never seen anyone or anything more beautiful. Standing on the steps in a faded chambray cotton sundress, Tabitha looked radiant. She had a white sweater draped over her arm, her dark auburn hair poured down past her bare shoulders, and her green eyes seemed almost translucent. She made her way down the steps in her worn leather sandals. Her beauty seemed effortless. She pushed her hair behind one ear and smiled at Gabriel. He leaned down as he ripped the tape and slapped it on the seat, hoping she didn’t see him. He threw the tape under the seat and opened his door to get out and greet her. In his haste, he caught his boot between the door and the floorboard and fell out flat on his stomach in the gravel drive. Before Tabitha could say anything, he jumped up to his feet.
“I’m okay! I’m okay!” His face felt red hot.
“Oh my gosh! Are you sure?” Tabitha asked through a smile.
“Oh yeah, I’m fine. You know, I meant to do that.” He brushed the dirt off his palms and walked her around to the passenger side of the truck.
“Oh, absolutely. I could tell that was staged.” They both started laughing.
He opened the door and she climbed in, tucking her dress underneath her.
He shut her door and rested his hands on the open window.
“What I wanted to say before I dove out of the truck a minute ago was, ‘Miss Fielding, you look stunning tonight.’ ”
“Why, thank you, Mr. Clarke. You look quite handsome yourself.”
She put her hand on his forearm. It sent shivers up his spine.
“So where are you taking me?”
“You’ll see.” Gabriel jogged around the front of the truck and got in.
“Wow, so secretive. You’ve really got me wondering now.”
Gabriel tried to play it cool as he pulled out onto the road.
After a half an hour of winding through the canyon into the night, Gabriel pulled off the road and parked the truck. He grabbed a backpack out of the bed of the
truck and threw it on his shoulders. After lighting a kerosene lamp and setting it on the hood, he opened her door and offered his hand to her to help her out.
“I’m going to need you to wear this.” He held up a folded red bandana.
“What?”
“Just trust me.” He started to tie it around her eyes.
She pulled back.
“Why do I need this? It’s dark, Gabriel.”
“Trust me,” he said calmly as he persisted. “That’s not too tight, is it?”
“No.”
He took her hand and led her down the path into the quiet forest. He pushed away branches and talked her over rocks and holes as the sound of the bubbling waters grew.
“This is The Beach, isn’t it?” she asked.
“Uh-huh,” Gabriel answered as he guided her out of the last group of trees and onto the clearing next to The River where they first met. The night sky was crystal clear. The moonlight bounced off the water, and the starlight canopy twinkled like diamonds. Gabriel’s heart beat fast.
He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. “You ready?”
“Yes, of course I’m ready!”
He stood behind her and untied the bandana slowly.
Tabitha gasped and put her hands over her mouth.
All over The Beach, on the rocks that jutted out into the water, and even on some boulders in the middle of The River, sat dozens of candles, flickering in the night. In the middle of the sandy clay, a small fire crackled and a large blanket was spread out next to it. On the blanket were two place settings of dishes and silverware.
“How did you do this?” Her eyes welled as she took it all in.
Gabriel felt like a little boy on Christmas morning. “I have my ways. Dinner is waiting for us. Come join me.”
He led her over to the fire and took off his backpack. She knelt down at one of the place settings. He took a towel and some tongs from his bag and pulled the crumpled tin foil from the coals. “Potatoes, mushrooms, and onions, sautéed in butter, just like you like them.” He pulled another from underneath the coals and opened it up carefully. The steam of the juicy meat rose into the air. “Rosemary rib eye . . . campfire style.” He divided the large steak into two pieces and loaded their plates.
“This is unbelievable. I just don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Oh! I almost forgot.” Gabriel jumped up and went over behind a rock and pulled out a small tin bucket full of ice with bottles of Coca-Cola buried in it. He pulled out two, opened them, and sat down on the blanket.
Taking a deep breath, he asked, “Shall we eat, Miss Fielding?”
Tabitha leaned across their plates of food, grabbed the back of Gabriel’s neck, and pulled him in close for a long kiss.
The couple enjoyed their succulent meal in the beauty of the canyon. Their conversation was easy.
“I think it’s pretty amazing that we met like we did. I didn’t know you were one of the Clarkes. I mean, what are the chances, you know?” Tabitha took a sip of her Coca-Cola. “I wasn’t even going to go on the trip, but something told me I should just go.”
“I’m sure glad you did. You’ve changed everything for me . . . for the better,” Gabriel said. “Now being here with you, it’s pretty much all I could ever want. Remember that time Cig was so drunk . . . and Rollie Sever with his unbuttoned shirt and chest of bear fur?”
“Oh, Cig . . . so gross . . . and the bravado of that guy Rollie, and that hair?” Tabitha wrinkled her nose and shook her head.
“Those guys were crazy, but it made for some great memories,” Gabriel said as they both laughed hard.
“The River brought us together,” Tabitha said as she looked into his eyes.
“To The River.” Gabriel raised his Coke bottle, and they toasted their journey together.
Their conversation slowed as they finished the last few bites. Gabriel stood to his feet and helped Tabitha up. They walked arm in arm over to the water’s edge.
They faced each other. Tabitha looked around the canyon and up at the night sky.
“All these candles, it’s like we got to eat in the heavens, surrounded by stars.”
Gabriel looked down at the ground and then into Tabitha’s eyes as he swallowed hard. He felt small beads of sweat form on his temples.
“I have a few things to say to you, Tabitha, so bear with me . . . I’ll try to get through it.” He took her hands in his.
“Okay,” she said tenderly.
“I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of you since you stepped out of that van that day . . . right over there.” He nodded to the edge of the trees. “Never in a million lives did I think I’d be with a girl as amazing as you. You’re beautiful beyond my words to describe. You have made me a better man, a better human. Jimmy invited me to see The River, but you called me to experience it. You got me in . . . all the way in. It’s not just with the water either. It’s in all of life. You’ve helped me awaken to real life and shown me there’s more. You have been strong when I’ve been weak. You’ve lifted me when I couldn’t lift myself.” Gabriel’s eyes welled up as his voice quivered. “I love you, Tabitha.”
She didn’t blink as she stared at him intensely.
“Come over here.” Gabriel led her just a few steps upstream to a small spruce near the edge of The River. As they approached, Gabriel held the lantern up to illuminate the tree. Tabitha noticed the shape of a heart etched deeply into the tree bark. She ran her fingers over it.
“I carved this here that first night I saw you,” he said. “I know it’s kind of silly. It was just my way of remembering the most amazing night of my life.”
Tabitha saw something hanging just above it.
Dangling on a small branch was a braided leather necklace holding a small heirloom diamond ring. She looked at Gabriel and smiled as wide as the canyon.
Gabriel lifted the leather necklace off the tree. “I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I do know this . . . I’m madly and hopelessly in love with you. From my head to my toes, I know that I want to be with you forever. I promise you, if you’ll have me, I will love you until I draw my last breath.”
He opened the clasp and slid the small vintage-looking silver ring off.
He knelt down and held the ring up to her. It glistened in the moonlight.
“Tabitha Fielding, will you marry me?”
She paused for a second, and his heart pounded in his chest. Then her eyes pooled with tears as she nodded. She laughed and blurted out, “Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes.”
He slid the ring on her finger. She lunged into his arms, tackling him on The Beach. They held each other and laughed through their joyful tears.
“I was meant for you and you for me.” Tabitha propped herself up with her elbows on his chest. “How in the world did you make all this happen?”
Gabriel grinned.
“She said yes!” Gabriel shouted as he turned his head back toward the woods.
A cheer erupted, and out of the forest came a group of people hooting and hollering.
Tabitha jumped to her feet, her mouth gaping open as she saw her dad, Sadie, all the guides, and friends she knew around the camp. Jacob walked up to her and picked her up in a tight hug. Ezra stood quietly in the back smiling contentedly like a doting grandpa. Everyone was shouting and clapping. Most of them lit sparklers, some carried coolers of more food and drink, and then some came running and splashed into the water. The joy echoed throughout the canyon.
Samuel approached the couple. Gabriel squeezed Tabitha in close by the waist.
“Congratulations, you guys.” Samuel looked at Tabitha, and she smiled nervously. “I wish you guys the best, I really do.” Samuel held his hand out to Gabriel. Gabriel shook it firmly.
“Thanks, Samuel.”
Samuel turned and walked away to talk with some of the others.
“Hear, hear!”
Jacob got everyone’s attention as he raised his drink into the air.
“Here’s to one of the most beautiful nights of our lives at Big Water Adventures! To Tabitha and Gabriel and their life together at The River!”
22
Covenant Day
September 17, 1974, 2 p.m.
“From The Journal, 1946, R. Allen Clarke.” The white-bearded minister peered through his reading glasses as he read from the leather artifact.
The two rivers carve their way around and through every mountain and valley to find each other. Nothing can keep them apart. The pursuit is unceasing and unstoppable, and all the while, every insurmountable obstacle is bringing them together. The two waterways swirl into one—each flow is a different color, a different temperature, a different strength, and a different depth—and as the two rivers come together, they form one that is greater, stronger, more diverse, and even more beautiful. Once the waters mix, they are never the same. They will never go back to the way they were. The two names become one name, and this river will flow in unrelenting beauty and power as it nourishes and shapes the land. The confluence will be far more than one smaller river could be alone. This river will display all that’s beautiful in nature. So too in this covenant, two lives shall come together as one. These lives are forever changed. A new beginning is created. Therefore, what The Great River has put together, nothing on earth will tear it apart.
The rafting season ended with perfection. On a warm, September Saturday, dozens of young guides, friends, and family lined The Beach, facing The River for the life-giving ceremony.
Tabitha, in a white flower head wreath and long, white cotton dress, stood barefoot and glowing as she stared into Gabriel’s eyes. To Gabriel, she looked like an angel sent from the Maker Himself. Sadie stood at her side holding a beautiful bouquet of fresh wildflowers. Jimmy Bly, the best man, stood behind Gabriel. The minister from Corley Falls’s little white church up the way, Reverend Bellows, officiated with his back to the waters. Gabriel felt every moment in his soul. When he saw Ezra quietly next to Jacob with his Sunday best on, he thought about all those talks on the porch. Jacob fought tears as he gave his daughter away. It was Maggie’s first trip back to The River since she came to pick up five-year-old Gabriel after his father’s accident. She seemed to have so many mixed emotions, but most of all she looked overjoyed as she saw how happy her son had become. Ms. Vonda held tight to Maggie’s arm, and Mister Earl never stopped grinning as they witnessed Gabriel’s new life at The River. Billy watched a few rows back.
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