by C. A. Harms
I was falling in love with Alec Reynolds.
Chapter 27
Alec
“This is my room?” I hover in the doorway of the large bedroom and watch as Katelynn stands in the center spinning around slowly looking the space over. Her eyes are wide in disbelief and I fucking love the reaction. “As in this entire thing,” she stops, facing me, “is my bedroom.”
“Yes,” I lift my chin motioning to the left, “and that’s your bathroom.
Again her eyes widen just before she takes off like a rocket toward the bathroom and then a loud squeal echoes through the room. My only reaction is to chuckle because I knew she was happy and that in turn made me happy too.
“She found the bathroom, didn’t she?” Brynn steps up to my side and immediately I wrap one arm around her shoulders pulling her in close. Whenever she was close I couldn’t stop myself, I needed her closer.
“She did,” I tell her moving in to press a kiss to her forehead. When I feel her body relax against mine a little more from the simple gesture another part of me falls for her. It was so easy with Brynn, there were no games, everything was right out in the open. She wasn’t demanding, she was simple, and I mean that in the best possible sense of the word.
I’ve found I love simplicity.
“It’s more then she’s ever had,” I look down toward Brynn to find tears in the brims of her eyes. “I’d never be able to give her anything even close to this.”
“Hey,” I turn to face her and place my finger beneath her chin forcing her to look into my eyes. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t give the two of you. This is your home now, Brynn, and all I want is for the both of you to be completely comfortable here.”
She nods, and closes her eyes. “I’m just a mess,” she whispers. “I cry at everything anymore.”
I pull her in close to my chest and hold her there as I rock from side to side. “You’re my mess,” I tell her, and feel her body shake with laughter against my own. “Speaking of messes, Aric will be here soon with my parents.”
They insisted on coming to meet the girls, after my brother made it a point to inform them that Brynn and Katelynn were now living with me. I planned to at least give them a week or two before I sprung the entire Reynolds family on them, now here we are.
“I’m actually looking forward to meeting them.” Brynn says as she turns her head and rests her cheek on my chest. “Unless you weren’t wanting us to.”
“Of course I want them to know the two of you,” I assure her, and she lifts her head to look up at me “I’m just fearful of my mother suffocating you.”
“That would be quite a change from any family we’ve ever had. With the acceptation of Martha, Katelynn and I really don’t have any family.” I arch my brow and find her rolling her eyes. “Okay, fine, we have a family now with you. Is that better?”
“Much.” I slouch enough to press a kiss to her lips. I wanted this life with these girls, they were all I needed. Our child would be brought into a home full of some much love that they would never get the chance to feel unwanted or unneeded. My goal is to wipe the memories of what Katelynn and Brynn had to endure growing up from their minds completely. It was time that they knew what real family was.
“Ew,” Katelynn groans in protest. “Is this really what I’m going to be subjected to on a daily basis? You two sucking face and all that touchy feely creepy stuff?” She fakes a shiver which only makes me chuckle in response.
“It’s a good thing you have this huge bedroom, with your own bathroom, and even a balcony to enjoy,” Brynn tells Katelynn which only triggers another loud squeal to rip through her.
“A balcony?”
Brynn and I both point toward the drapes that cover the windows lining the far wall and watch as Katelynn moves in that direction. Ever so slowly she grabs them and begins to slide the curtains over exposing the sliding glass doors behind them.
“I think I’m dreaming.” She is so dramatic, yet funny too as she plays out her happiness. “Can I actually sit out there and I don’t know, do my homework or listen to the radio?”
“I suggest waiting for the weather to permit,” I tell her. “Lets get through winter first and then shoot for that idea in spring. I’d really hate to have to defrost you in order to remove your butt from a chair.”
“Okay, fine,” she turns around to face me. “Can we get a cat then?”
“No cats,” Brynn replies for me before I get the chance to speak.
“Why?” I ask and she pinches my side and I pull back to get away from her assault.
“Cat’s equal litter boxes and claws. We have a baby coming, I think that’s enough responsibility for now.”
“Well, that’s no fun,” Katelynn complains.
“A fish,” I suggest, and Katelynn wrinkles up her nose.
“You cannot hold a fish.” She places her hands on her hips and throws me some of that twelve year old sass. “And before you say yes you can, you just can’t so don’t try to be philosophical.”
Brynn laughs covering her mouth and I find myself doing the same.
“Are you sure about this arrangement?” Brynn looks between her sister and me. “Because that right there,” pointing to Katelynn, “is an all the time thing. She is wordy and each day I swear she finds a new way to challenge me.”
“I have no doubts in my mind.” I felt like things were finally falling into place. Like my life was back on track and that perpetual ache, that void within me was no longer a part of who I am. Brynn and Katelynn and one day soon our child would fill every one of my days with chaos and laughter. I love the thought, and I want my parents to see this, too. I want them to understand that I’m okay and that they can stop worrying. This is my life, this is what I want.
I knew already that my mother would hover and look for all the possible ways she could be intertwined within our lives. But I also understand that with Brynn that would be okay. Because this woman is nothing like Mandy. My mother would be here as often as she could be both during the remainder of Brynn’s pregnancy and for all the days that follow, yet I knew Brynn would enjoy that. She was far too sweet to find the wrong in my mother’s persistence.
“I am so happy to finally meet you,” my mother pulls Brynn in for a hug. “I’ve heard all about you and Katelynn from Aric.” I fist my hands at my side and look up to find my brother grinning as he watches my reaction. The asshole knew just how much it irritated me that he was so close with Brynn. Katelynn, not so much, though I do strive each day to be her favorite I understand that she and Aric have this crazy bond. But Brynn, that shit gets under my skin.
“It’s nice to meet you too,” Brynn tells her as my mother finally releases her.
“Alec is always so secretive about his life, and I worry.” She looks back over her shoulder toward me and I try to offer her a reassuring smile. “I understand his need to be closed off, I just hate it.”
“That’s over now,” I interrupt her worried words, “in fact, there is something I would like to share with you and dad.”
“You’re getting married,” I sense her concern within her tone, though the smile she wore did a great job of covering it too.
I immediately shift my eyes to Brynn and find her looking at my mother with what I would describe as shock. Her eyes widen, her mouth hanging slightly open. I could play this out, and to her obvious panic, but instead I ease her worries.
“No, though I wouldn’t rule that out for the future.”
When Brynn locks her gaze on my own I smile and she tucks her chin toward her chest, my only guess is so that she may calm her nerves without seeing me staring back at her.
“However, Brynn is pregnant,” I look away from her and toward my parents. My mother held her hand over her mouth, my father just remains as he was with the same blank stare. I could only imagine the things running throughout their minds. Probably the same things running through my own in the initial beginning. It felt like a sense of déjà vu. Yet I remember what Aric said.
“She’s not Mandy,” I announce, wondering almost immediately if it was a mistake.
“No, she is not,” Aric says as he steps up to Brynn’s side and pulls her in closer to his side. I may have growled softly as I feel my face twitch with the irritation he’s causing in me. “She is nothing like that lying,” he pauses looking around at everyone choosing to drop of the last word in the presence of not only our parents but Katelynn too. “Liar,” he says with a nod, “we’ll just settle on liar for now.”
“Wait, she knows about Mandy?” My mother seems surprised.
“She knows about everything.” Brynn’s gaze locks on mine, and for a moment we simply stare at one another without actually saying a word. Only I could almost feel her reassurance telling me everything was gonna be okay, and I knew it would be. “Our baby is due in March.”
“Oh my,” again my mother lets out a gasp as she stands at my father’s side.
“I know you all must be concerned, possibly skeptical,” all eyes turn toward Brynn. She nervously twists her hands before her and I recognize the gesture. It was something she’d do whenever she was feeling out of place. “I just want you all to know that I would never hurt Alec, or any of you for that matter. My childhood wasn’t the greatest, neither was Katelynn’s. We didn’t have the strong family that I see in all of you. I just want this baby to have that, to know what it feels like to never be alone.”
A tear escapes and rolls along her cheek and I want to move toward her, only I don’t get the chance. My mother moves in and once again wraps Brynn in an embrace. “I’m so happy to have not only this baby join our family, but you and Katelynn too.” There was a silence pause as they continue to share their hug, before my mother steps back and keeps ahold of Brynn’s shoulders. “But I just need you to know that I may shower all three of you with so much love that you’ll be trying to find way to be rid of me.”
It was my turn to hang my head and give it a little shake. And so the hovering and pushing begins.
“Congratulations, son,” My father slaps me on the shoulder, giving me a firm squeeze in the process. “It’s about time you start your life over and let go of the past. I can see the man in you that I’d thought we’d lost.”
Letting go of what happened, yes, I’ve done that. But completely letting go of Caden would be something I could never do, because even though he wasn’t my son I still fell in love with him. I’ll always hold that soft spot inside me for the boy who was trapped in his mother’s lies.
We spent the evening as one big family. It was strange having my parents and brother here, because that was something I hadn’t done over the last couple years. But having them here with Brynn and Katelynn, laughing and sharing memories both older and new, it all felt so right.
“If you have a boy, oh my.” My mother’s voice breaks through my thoughts. “Let’s just hope that he isn’t just like his daddy was as a child. Because Alec was rambunctious, he never stopped.” She pauses for a moment as she shares a look with my father, and they both smile as if lost in the memories of Aric and I as boys. “They were both always getting themselves into trouble.”
“And some things never change,” Aric says this proudly at which point every head in the room turns toward him. “Anything that comes easy is never fulfilling.”
With his eyes closed, his head tilts back and a huge grin covers his face. I could only imagine the things rolling around in that guy’s head at the moment. I imagine it to be him in the center of a room with a harem of woman pining for his attention. The guy was a whore, straight up, and though I’m may not have been so innocent over the last couple years, he had me beat times twenty.
“Aric,” I say gaining his attention, “you wanna pull yourself out of fantasyland? You are in the presence of woman and child.”
He seems unaffected, completely at ease with the dirty thoughts I know without a doubt he was having. My father chuckles, and when I look in his direction I find him watching my brother with amusement. He too knew what Aric was thinking I’m sure.
Chapter 28
Brynn
I’ll admit, I spent the first month in Alec’s penthouse feeling so out of place. The fear of breaking something that obviously costs more than I make in a year ran throughout my mind on a repeated loop. I had never lived in a home surrounded by so many beautiful things before. I try to ignore the voice in my head that continues to remind me that I don’t belong here, only it just tends to get louder. I was simple, and this was extravagant. I wasn’t sure how to accept the life Alec has giving us.
I had to force myself to believe that this was now my life and let go of the hesitant thoughts. It felt too good to be true, and that at any moment something would bring it to a screeching halt. That waiting-for-the-ball-to-drop feeling hung heavy in my stomach.
But it’s gotten easier. Now there are remnants of both Katelynn and I scattered throughout the area. Our coats hang on the hangers near the door, pictures of us separate and as a whole sat on tables and hang on walls. Katelynn had completely made herself at home, and Alec and Aric had even spent a day painting her room the most extravagant shade of purple I’ve ever seen. She’d been spoiled more in that last month than she’d ever been or could’ve been had it only consisted of her and I. She now had the bedroom most girls dream about, filled with everything you could possibly imagine.
I didn’t ask for anything, and when Alec would offer certain things I simply waved it off as something I didn’t need. But it never stopped him from taking every opportunity to go above and behind our expectations. I think it became his life’s mission to give us more than we could ever ask for. But the only thing I truly wanted was us, this family. It had grown to more than I ever thought it would be. We were strong and solid, we were us. And I love us.
I’d grown so dependent on this world I’d fallen into that it scares me. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost it, how could I go back to the way things were? A life before Alec and Aric and even there parents. If I’m being honest I can’t even remember that life before them.
I stood in the dining room looking out over the city below, my hands resting protectively over my small bump as the lights of the Christmas tree behind me flicker off the glass before me. I couldn’t sleep, not when my worries took over it always makes me restless.
I could feel the moment Alec entered the space. It was almost like a strong sense of electricity in the room, one so overpowering and true. Like my body was in tune with his, and whenever he was near I could just feel him.
“I woke up alone,” he whispers in the darkness and I choose not to look behind me, instead I wait. “I don’t like the way that feels.”
I hear his bare feet against the ceramic tile of the floor as he moves in closer. I watch through the reflection of the window as Alec steps up behind me but doesn’t reach out for me. He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of pajamas pants that hung low on his waist. I take the time to appreciate the man in the glass, the strong jaw, the broad chest and powerful arms. The beauty he conveys manages to make me feel breathless.
“Against my better judgement I’ve ignored the worry in your eyes, hoping that over time it’d fade.” I worry my lip hearing the disappointment in his voice. “But then I find you looking off in the distance often, your mind racing with whatever it is that troubles you. I’ve realized that ignoring wasn’t the best choice, because you still seem as if you’re waiting for something bad to take place.”
I close my eyes trying to fight off the tears, knowing that he’s figured everything out.
I feel his hand against the lower part of my back and I bite my lip trying to stop the tremble. I’m sure a majority of the emotions I feel come from my pregnancy, but there was that part that felt so disconnected from the life I have that worries me.
“What can I do, to show you how much you mean to me?” He whispers that question, and the pain in his voice, the low baritone, the longing, it was all there. He carefully slid his hands around me and bri
ngs them to rest over the place mine still lay upon my stomach. “I’m so in love with you, Brynn.”
I feel my body sag back against his as he shares something he’s never said to me aloud before.
“I wake up every single day thankful that you gave me a second chance. Fearful that somehow I’ll screw things up and lose the one person I feel like I was meant to find.” He rests his head into the crook of my neck. “You are that missing piece, baby, that part of me that I’d thought was something lost. I’ve never felt the kind of connection I feel with you. It’s so powerful that sometimes I get so scared too. Scared that I’ll lose you, lose us and if I did, I don’t think I’d survive it.”
I turn in his arms and look up to find something in his eyes I’d only ever seen one other time. When he shared the loss of Caden, that lost look in his eyes was there once more.
I pull my hands out from beneath his and reach up to take his face in my hands. “I’m scared,” I confess, “terrified that I’ll wake up one day only to realize this was all just a dream. It feels like if I accept it and stop worrying then I’m only setting myself up for devastation. I don’t want to lose you or this life.”
“Then talk to me,” he whispers. “Tell me what you need me to say. What you need me to do, in order to make that worry go away.”
“You’re doing everything right,” I assure him though I see it in his eyes that he feels somehow as if that is a lie. “It’s me, and I have to be the one to let my fear go.”
I arch my neck and he bends his to meet me, as our lips gently pressing against the other.
“I’m working on it,” I tell him, and he presses his forehead to mine. “I need to let go of my past, just like you did.”
He takes me into his arms and we stand there in the darkness, the quiet of the room filled with only our breaths. When I accepted this new venture I agreed to let go of all the emptiness my past had instilled in me. I told myself it was a fresh start, and I knew it was time I lived up to that.
