by Megan Green
I’m walking past Cade’s room when I notice the door is shut. I was in such a hurry to get to Nic’s room that I didn’t notice it on my way in. But, now that my mind has settled a bit, I realize it’s odd. Cade never shuts his bedroom door. And I’m not sure why Nichole would have shut this door but none of the others before leaving.
I press my ear against the door, listening for anything that might explain why she shut it. Maybe she left a radio on and didn’t want to disturb the neighbors. Or maybe she just put a surprise in there for Cade and didn’t want him to see it right away.
I hesitantly place my hand on the doorknob, my heart in my throat but I’m not sure why.
And, the second I push it open, I know that’s a lie.
I know exactly why I was scared to open this door.
Nichole isn’t the type of person to forget her son. She isn’t the type to go run errands and simply lose track of time. Cade is the entire moon and stars of her life.
And the only thing that would stop her from being there for him was if she physically couldn’t.
Deep down inside, I knew that. So, I knew what I would find on the other side of this door.
Rushing into the room, I slide across the carpet on my knees until I’m pulling her head into my lap. Smoothing her hair back, I see her swollen face, her eyes so distended that it’s hard to even make out where the slits of her lashes are.
“Mom?” Cade’s voice echoes from the living room.
“Cade!” I shout. “Call 911! And, for God’s sake, stay out of here!” I say, tears beginning to fall down my cheeks, my body hunching over Nichole’s as I try to hug her without moving her too much.
I place my ear by her nose. It’s faint, but I can hear her breathing.
“Please be okay, baby. Please be okay.” I repeat the words over and over until the ambulance arrives.
Cade climbs into my lap as we sit in the hospital waiting room.
When we first ran through the emergency room doors, I rushed to the first nurse I could find, claiming to be Nichole’s husband so that they would tell me where she was. But, after giving me a quick once-over, the woman narrowed her eyes at me and told me to have a seat in the lobby. I guess since this isn’t the first time Nichole has found herself in here, the nurses are familiar with her situation. Not to mention the fact that, right after I fabricated my story, Amber came walking out of a room, shooting me a disapproving look as if she’d heard everything I’d said. She knows Nichole and I are dating now, but apparently, she didn’t appreciate me trying to pull one over on her colleague.
I wrap my arms around Cade’s waist and pull him into me. He tucks his head up under my chin, resting his cheek against my chest, his tears soaking into my shirt the second he makes contact. I squeeze him tighter, trying to will what little strength I might have left into him. He’s not allowed in to see Nichole yet either. The nurse told him that, as soon as Nichole was stable, she’d come out to get him. The stoic nod he gave her, even as I could see his lower lip beginning to tremble, made my heart break. My little dude is so brave. No kid should have to know what the words intensive care unit mean. But Cade accepted them like a seasoned pro. And it was fucking tragic.
Neither of us speaks as we wait. We simply hold on to one another, staring blankly at the muted TV mounted in the corner. I have absolutely no idea what we’re watching, but it doesn’t matter. Having something to focus our attention on while our minds teem with thoughts, feelings, and utter helplessness helps alleviate some of the guilt of not being there for her. At least, it does for me. And, judging by the look on Cade’s face, I doubt his thoughts are far off.
While I blame myself for not being there when James arrived, I’m glad as hell that Cade wasn’t. If that asshole had hurt both of them…
It’s something I can’t even allow myself to imagine. As it is, I’m going to make sure that fucker pays for what he’s done. This is the third time I’ve found Nichole broken and bloodied from that man’s wrath. It’s never sat right with me, not doing anything about it, but I respected Nichole’s wishes. She refused to file charges and all but begged me not to go after him. Plus, add in the fact that I’m a cop, and getting into any sort of physical altercation with the asshole is just asking for trouble.
But ask me if I give a shit about any of that now. It’s the third time I’ve found her, and it’s going to be the fucking last time.
Three strikes, and you’re out, motherfucker.
I’m not sure how long we’ve been waiting. Cade has fallen asleep against my chest by the time the doctor steps out into the waiting area.
“Mr. Roberts?”
I want to stand and shake his hand, to look him dead in the eye as I ask him to tell me exactly what’s going on. But Cade is sleeping soundly, and I don’t dare disturb him. Instead, I bring a finger to my lips and nod toward the sleeping boy in my arms.
“That’s me,” I whisper.
The doctor nods and responds in kind. “You’re here for Mrs. Reynolds?”
Hearing Nichole’s married name has my teeth clenching. I want no part of her tied to that asshole anymore. But, instead of arguing, I nod.
The doctor glances back over at the nurses’ desk, seeming almost hesitant. “Look, we don’t usually do this. Privacy laws are strict, and the penalties are severe. We are not allowed to speak to anyone who isn’t immediate family in these situations. However…” He trails off, once again looking toward the desk to his left. “One of our nurses has vouched for you. She says she knows Mrs. Reynolds wouldn’t have a problem with me speaking with you. She was willing to risk her job for it. So, I hope you don’t betray that trust she seems to have in you and make me regret doing this. I’d really hate to have to fire one of the best nurses on our team.”
I shake my head. “I fully intend on making that woman my wife the second I am able. Please speak freely. I know I would want the same if the situation were reversed.”
The doctor nods, seemingly satisfied with my answer. “Okay. I’m Dr. Richman, by the way. I’m not going to lie. Nichole’s injuries are fairly severe. Had she been left for a few hours longer, I’m not sure we would’ve been able to bring her back. We were able to stop the minor internal bleeding before it became an issue. But, as it stands, I think she’s going to be okay. She’s still asleep. We’ve given her enough medication to ensure she stays that way for a little while, as it is the best possible thing for her right now. With a few days of rest and observation, I think it’s safe to say she should make a full recovery. The broken collarbone might take longer to heal, but considering the potential outcomes, I’d say she got off lucky.” His words are encouraging, his tone hopeful.
But the only things I heard were, “internal bleeding… medication… broken collarbone.”
My fingers tighten their hold on Cade, and I hold him against my chest, hoping his weight can help alleviate the crushing pain developing there. He squirms against me, but thankfully, he doesn’t wake.
“When can I see her?” I ask the doctor. “When can he see her?” I add with another nod at Cade.
The doctor seems to consider this. “She’s in rough shape. And, like I said, she’s not conscious. Do you think he’d be okay with seeing her like that?”
I nod, wishing like hell it weren’t true. He shouldn’t be okay with seeing his mother battered in a hospital bed. But, now that she’s been cleaned up and the worst of her injuries are covered, I know Cade would be upset if he knew we were trying to keep him from her.
“He’s a tough little guy. He’ll be okay.”
The doctor eyes Cade, his sweet angel face so peaceful as he sleeps. In the depths of slumber, he appears to be just like any other seven-year-old boy, his face slack and his small body soft and warm. You can’t see the haunted look that sometimes crosses his eyes when he thinks of his father or when he worries about his mother.
But the doctor doesn’t argue. “All right then, follow me.”
I shuffle Cade around as I try to get
to my feet. His chin rests on my shoulder, his arms and legs loose at my sides as we walk. I’m sure it looks odd to the others waiting, this seven-year-old boy being carried the same way one would carry a child much younger. But I couldn’t care less. Having Cade close to me feels right. And it’s about damn time this kid had a man to take care of him for a change.
I follow the doctor to a closed door where he pauses momentarily.
“Remember, she’s really beat up. This might be hard to see.”
I want to laugh at this poor bastard. He has no idea the different states I’ve seen Nichole in.
Instead, I meet his gaze for a moment before lowering my eyes to the floor below me. “I know. I was the one who found her.”
The doctor’s mouth drops, and he almost looks sorry for me. He purses his lips, as if considering how to respond to that. But, when nothing comes, he simply pats Cade on the back and says, “Well, I’ll leave you to it then.”
I push open the door with my shoulder, grateful it wasn’t latched fully. Seeing a large chair in the corner, I settle Cade into it, popping the reclining lever on the side. A blanket sits on the table next to it, and even though it’s been unseasonably warm for September, I cover him anyway. Because this is a hospital, and hospitals are always cold. And a little scary. I know it’s stupid, but I hope that, by covering Cade, I can protect him from the other unknown horrors lingering outside that door.
Once he’s situated, I turn and face the nightmare that’s in this very room. The doctor is right. Nichole is in bad shape. But compared to the state I found her in, she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. A bandage is wound around her head, but the swelling in her face has receded a bit, making her appear slightly more like herself. Her visible skin is mottled with bruises and cuts, but they’ve all been cleaned and sutured where needed. I pull a folding chair up to her bedside, gently taking her hand in mine before pressing my lips to her knuckles.
Tears seep out of my eyes as I hold my lips against her skin. I’m so damn glad she’s okay.
But beneath that relief simmers rage. A rage that is becoming so all-consuming that it’s hard to see past it to the good.
I lift my head from her side, my eyes locking on her battered face. “He’s never going to hurt you again. I’ll make sure of it.”
I slink down in the seat of my truck, watching the house across the street.
Amber kicked me out of Nichole’s hospital room a few hours ago, insisting I go home and get some rest. “Nichole won’t be waking up for another twelve hours at least. It’s pointless for you to be here. I’ll take care of Cade. You go home and sleep.”
I argued with her, but the damn woman was relentless. When I sat back down and refused to leave, she threatened to call security to have me escorted out.
“You’re not family after all. Not yet. The only reason you’re in here is because of me. Don’t make me take that away.”
One look at her deadpan face, and I knew she wasn’t bluffing. Reluctantly, I agreed I’d leave for a few hours, stating I’d be back by dinner.
“I’ll bring you Mickey D’s, little dude,” I said to Cade as I ruffled his hair.
He’d woken up shortly after my promise to Nichole, and he’d been glued to her side ever since. And, just like I’d thought, he hadn’t even batted an eye, seeing her swollen face and bandaged head. He’d simply crawled on the bed next to her, careful not to jostle her, lying as close to her as possible without actually touching her.
Cade smiled at me, telling me he liked chicken nuggets, before I walked out the door. I drove back to the station, telling Chief the situation and asking for the next few days off. I knew it was horrible timing, but there was no way I’d be of any use even if I were there. He agreed easily, telling me to take as much time as I needed.
I climbed into my truck and left, turning in the direction of my house. But the closer I got, the worse it felt. I couldn’t just go home and sleep while Nichole was lying in that hospital bed. If I couldn’t be there by her side, I was going to make damn sure to use this time wisely.
And that was how I ended up here, parked in front of James Reynolds’s house. His shiny Porsche is parked in the driveway, so I know he’s in there. I also know the man cannot sit still for longer than two seconds. It’s only a matter of time before he comes out. And, when he does, I’ll be ready.
The woman working in her garden next door and the two kids playing tag in the front yard down the street will prevent me from greeting him the way I truly want to, which would involve my fist in his face and my knee in his balls, for starters. I want this fucker to feel every inch of pain he put Nichole through. But, considering I like my job and, you know, my freedom, assaulting someone in broad daylight isn’t the best idea anyway.
Still, he needs to know this shit isn’t going to fly with me. I’m not going to stand idly by while he keeps hurting Nichole. So, I’ll look at this as his friendly warning. If he touches her again, I’ll make sure the bastard ends up dead even if I have to put him in the ground myself.
The front door swings open, and I see him appear on the front stoop. I make my move, throwing open the door and jumping out of my truck. I’m across the street and in his face before he even has time to lock the door behind himself.
He turns, cowering back against the door, when he sees me towering over him, my nostrils flaring and my lips pulled back off my teeth. His terrified stare only lets me know how crazy I must appear.
Good. Maybe it’ll scare some fucking sense into him.
I bend down, putting my face right in his, his shallow, rapid breaths blowing hot against my face.
“You will not touch her again,” I seethe, narrowing my eyes into pointed slits.
He nods, tilting his face away from mine, his back flush against the door as he tries to put as much space as possible between us. I have to admit, it feels fucking good, putting this asshole in his place. It’s about fucking time someone gave him a taste of his own medicine.
“Please,” he gasps out, his voice hoarse, “please don’t hurt me.”
Hearing the words that Nichole must’ve said to him hundreds of times over the years come out of his mouth sets me off. I shove him, his head knocking back against the door.
“You fucking coward. Can’t take it when it’s someone your own size, can ya? No. You prefer to get your rocks off by hurting an innocent woman.”
My fist clenches, and I’m unable to stop it before it slams into his stomach. He doubles over, sinking down onto the stoop as he clutches his midsection. His head rolls back, and he pathetically stares up at me.
I could do so much more. I could make this son of a bitch feel every inch of pain he inflicted on Nichole. But I won’t. I am better than him. She is better than him. Stooping to his level would only make things worse.
So, instead, I roll my shoulders back, my lips curling in disgust as I look at him. “Men like you make me sick.” I spit at his feet, and then I turn and walk away.
Nichole is being discharged tomorrow. The doctor has kept her for forty-eight hours for observation, but she’s been doing so well since she woke this morning that he doesn’t anticipate any problems.
I sit in the corner of the hospital room, watching Nichole and Cade as they giggle at SpongeBob. A few months ago, if you’d asked me if I ever thought I’d enjoy spending hours watching an animated sponge and a—what the fuck is Patrick anyway? Some sort of pink gelatinous blob? Anyway, if you’d asked me if I’d actually not only be tolerating this stupid show but also actually enjoying it, I would have laughed in your face.
Of course, it has more to do with the company I’m keeping these days rather than the actual show. But, as I watch Cade laugh into his mother’s shoulder, her lips coming down and resting on the top of his head as she smiles, I realize there’s no place else in the world I’d rather be. Pink blob and all.
My phone rings, shocking me out of the daze I fell into. I glance down at the screen, Chief’s name reflecting back
at me.
That’s odd, I think to myself.
I told him I’d be out for a few days. And, usually, when one of his officers is out on personal leave, he doesn’t bother us unless it’s an emergency.
I get to my feet, holding the phone up when Nichole and Cade look my way. “I’m just going to take this. I’ll be right back.”
I step out into the hallway, pulling the door shut behind me. I don’t go far, just in case Nichole needs me.
Pressing the phone to my ear, I answer, “Chief, what can I do you for?”
An exasperated exhale greets me. “You can start by explaining yourself. I mean, really, Roberts? As if I don’t have enough shit to deal with at the moment. Now, I have to fucking deal with this?” His voice is tired, his words clipped and angry but lacking the fire behind his normal tirades when one of us has done something to piss him off.
My brow furrows as I replay his words. “Care to run that by me one more time, Chief? I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
“James fucking Reynolds is what I’m talking about. Son of a bitch was just in here, his face all banged up and his arm in a sling. He says you did that to him. Showed up at his house yesterday and beat the ever-loving shit out of him for no apparent reason.”
My blood boils when I hear the fucker’s allegations. “You know that isn’t true, Chief. You know me. I’d never do something that stupid.”
I leave out the part where I did actually hit him. But just once. And I’m sure it didn’t even hurt that much. Chief doesn’t need to know about that part.
Chief releases a long, drawn-out breath. “Do I, Roberts? I know you’re a good kid. I know you’re a hell of a cop. But I also know, given the right circumstances, you’ve got one hell of a temper. I’m not saying I blame you,” he continues quickly when I suck in a breath to respond. “Given the shit you’ve seen…well, it’s enough to set any man on edge from time to time. And I also know that you’re fierce and protective of the things you love. Namely, one Nichole Hadley-Reynolds.”
