by RJ Scott
Love Is In The Hallways
The Love Is… series – Book 2
RJ Scott
Copyright 2011 by RJ Scott
Smashwords Edition
First eBook publication: August 2011
Editors: Devin Govaere & Liz Bichmann
Cover design by RJ Scott
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED:
This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission. This book cannot be copied in any format, sold, or otherwise transferred from your computer to another through upload to a file sharing peer to peer program, for free or for a fee. Such action is illegal and in violation of the U.S. Copyright Law.
All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.
"This is stupid."
Banging his head against the tree hadn’t helped. Trying to knock sense into his brain couldn’t make Luke's decision any easier. It simply ended up adding to his already thumping headache. He stopped the action briefly, rubbing his sore forehead under his hairline. Hiding like this was so freaking stupid.
He looked back to where he could see Cameron Anders waiting outside the main gate. Waiting for him. It didn't help his state of mind one little bit.
Cameron was exactly where they had said they would meet, agreeing this in a flurry of positive upbeat “the world can't hurt us” texts. Luke groaned inwardly. God, Cameron looked gorgeous today. He was wearing jeans, a dark T-shirt emblazoned with wording that Luke couldn’t make out from this distance and a black jacket over his shoulders. Of course he wasn’t wearing his letter jacket. No, he didn’t have that anymore. In fact, Luke had that jacket in his bedroom. Cameron had insisted that Luke keep it during their surprise make out session in the park.
The best night of Luke's life. Way better than the midnight showing of the last X-Men film that he and Mitchell had seen at the beginning of the summer. And god, he had really been looking forward to that movie.
The kissing had been great. More than great. Fan-freaking-tastic. The kisses had been the culmination of so many nights of fantasy. They were hot and gentle and then deep and hard, and love blazed in every one of them.
Luke touched his cheek where Cameron had cradled his face, caressing him even as he had deepened the kisses they shared. It was so passionate, so right, and if Luke hadn’t already been ninety-five percent in love with Cam, then that single kiss would have shot him straight from zero to hundred in an instant. The fire of wanting more of the same, and more touches, burned low in his belly, and he was hard again in the blink of an eye. It was a frequent teenage boy state anyway to sport a boner, but add in the memories of that kiss and the feel of Cam's hard body pressed against his and he was a goner. He had spent much of Saturday and Sunday in a permanent state of arousal. His hand ached.
Thank fuck first period was history. Not only did history benefit from being a Cam-free zone, but the teacher was Mr. Dearing, whose manner of teaching was as dry as dead wood. An entire period of that should take care of his boner and give his brain a rest from, quite frankly, awesome Cameron fantasies. He shrank back farther and held his breath as a group of girls stopped to talk to Cameron. One of them was Mary-Beth, Cam's ex, who grabbed at Cam's arm and pulled him away from the group to one side. She was saying something urgent defined by rapid hand movements, casting glances back at her group of girlfriends, who were staring avidly at whatever was unfolding in front of them.
Luke watched Cam's body language—the slight slump in Cam's shoulders, the way he inclined his head to listen to whatever Mary-Beth was saying. Cam then nodded without actually saying anything that Luke could see. Something had clearly been agreed, evidenced by the fact that Mary-Beth's tight, angry posture relaxed. She joined the group of girls, and as a giggling mass of whispers, they went through the school entrance. Not one of them looked back at Cam, and when Luke moved his gaze back to focus on Cam, he saw an expression that scared him. There was sadness on his boyfriend's face. What had Mary-Beth said? She seemed to leave kind of happy after whatever was said. This was despite the fact that Cam had been her boyfriend for two years while also, it had been revealed, being one hundred percent gay.
She was due one hell of a day of people finding out and pointing fingers, laughing at her maybe. The shit was surely going to hit the fan today anyway.
Not including Cam's friend Dan and Luke's best friend Mitchell, the football team was not taking it so well that Cameron had revealed himself to be gay.
In fact, according to Cam, when they had chatted in the darkness, his being gay was doing more damage than good. The team hated it, and they had lost three games in a row now. This effectively put them out of running for any shot at the championship. There were of course games left in the season, but nothing could pull them out of this big of a shit hole.
Luke had known Cameron coming out would be seen as a bad thing.
Even worse, he had been straight for so long, or rather he had pretended to be straight, and had the girlfriend to prove it. Cameron had taken great pains on Friday to explain to Luke that he hadn’t meant to hurt Mary-Beth, and that he could deal with whatever the team threw at him. Luke was sure Cam had never meant to hurt his girlfriend, but he was equally sure that Cam was going to find handling the team nearly impossible.
Next to Cameron at the gate was where Luke should be standing. In theory, announcing that they were together in actions like walking into school holding hands sounded great. In practice? Well, there was a reason he stood here behind a tree while his boyfriend of one whole weekend stood casually leaning against a gate support looking to the world like he had reason to be there. Cameron, school jock, king of the hallways, captain of the football team, was waiting for him.
And Luke Holston, of the “yes, I understand Fermat’s theorem”, nerd and all-round brainy geek group, was hiding. He looked again, peeking around the aged and gnarled trunk of the knotted oak. Cam's dark hair was tousled by the ever-present Virginia wind, and he just looked so damn tall and muscled and just... guh... fine. This. Was. Stupid. He needed to do something. Just go over there and say something. Anything.
He returned to banging his head against the tree, humming Gaga in time to the banging of his head to settle his thoughts. The touch of a hand on his shoulder had him spinning on his heel. He caught his jacket on a stray twig and moaned inwardly when he came face to face with the boy of his somewhat heated dreams.
"Why are you hiding?" Cam asked. A perfectly good question and one that Luke could have answered many ways, but it all boiled down to one thing. He was scared.
"I'm not hiding." Luke blurted out the words in staccato rhythm as though he wasn't in fact standing behind the oak that symbolized the school mascot. "I was… umm..." Now that was the problem. Did he actually have a reasonable excuse for standing behind the tree when he should be standing next to Cam? He had nothing, and a new level of anxious misery swept over him.
Cameron still looked sad, but he smiled hesitantly, showing a hint of uncertainty. "Luke, I understand if you changed your mind about us—"
"No. God. No." Okay, maybe he could have expressed that sentiment better if he’d thought more about the answer, but at least the speedy response held passion and commitment. Enough so that Cam's sad smile changed to a broad, confident, bordering on cocky grin in response.
"I was hoping you’d say that," he offered. Cautiously, he reached out to gently touch Luke's hand, curling strong fingers around his, until they stood behind the tree holding hands. It was a subtle connection just for them.
"Talk to me," Cam said gently, and a s
mall part of the icy fear around Luke's heart melted. How did he explain what he was afraid of? Cam was so insistent that no one would dare touch the two of them when they were together. But what about the times they were apart? First lesson: history, a case in point. The hate and distrust he felt emanating from some people in the hallways could only, in his opinion, get worse if he pushed his sexuality into people's faces. He was utterly scared, not only of what people might say, but of their possible actions. He might well be nearly six feet, but he was clumsy and a dork. He wasn’t some trained fighter who could put someone down when threatened.
"I'm scared," he finally said.
"Of what they will say?" Cam posed the question and then stopped. He tilted his head to one side, his expression thoughtful and his blue eyes so startlingly beautiful they nearly stopped Luke's heart. He thought about the nebulous “they” Cam was talking about—the jocks, the it-girls, the plain out-and-out bullies with time on their hands. Of course they were what he was scared of.
"That," Luke agreed, dropping his gaze. Thing is there was something else, a thing that could happen and actually be much scarier than what other people said or did. Cameron himself. Luke, at the core of it all, was scared he would walk into the school, holding hands with Cam, only for Cam to turn around and say it had all been one big joke. He didn't think he would ever survive that. What the hell had happened to his trust? The fear of this had owned his dreams last night. Cam, the rest of the football team, even his best friend, Mitchell, all standing in a ring around him, laughing and pointing. He had woken with tears wet on his face. "I don't know what else to say," he said miserably.
"Luke, I'm scared too, don't think I'm not."
Cam leaned in and captured a small, quick kiss, but Luke reared back in utter fright someone would see.
"I'm not just scared, Cam," he replied quickly, and wiped away Cam's kiss with his free hand. "I am pissing your pants terrified. What if..."
He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. Cam frowned, focusing briefly on Luke's hand and then back to his face. "What if?" he repeated carefully.
"What if we walk in and everyone sees us?"
"Luke, wasn't that the point?"
Hell. Cam was saying this like it was a done deal. How was Luke even going to begin to get him to understand?
Being open and out and together sounded good in theory, but the reality of it… Jeez. The reality of it petrified him.
"I can't explain." God. He wanted to explain about his dream, but if he did, what would Cam say?
"The school knows, you know. About me that is. Mary-Beth phoned on Saturday and spent twenty minutes screaming into the phone at me.
Apparently I have ruined her life."
"I saw her just now," Luke admitted. "Is she giving you a hard time?"
"She asked me to do something for her, and I agreed to it all." Cam wouldn’t meet his gaze, and suddenly, Luke needed to know more. Had Cam agreed to carry on, making it appear they were still together? Oh god. No. He wouldn't. Would he? If he had, then why was he still waiting on Luke?
Finally, he had to ask. "What? What did she say?"
"She wants the school to think she always knew and that it was all an act to protect me. I think she needs to be cast in the role of supportive heroine."
"She wants you to lie?"
"She wants me to, in her words, keep on lying." Cam shrugged, but Luke could see the banked pain in his eyes.
"I'm sorry Cam." He wasn’t sure what he felt sorry for. Was it for Cam having to lie or was it because Cam had felt it necessary to lie for so long before?
"I was with her for two years; she feels used I guess. I don't blame her, and I’ll do anything I can do to make it easier for her."
"And if she knows..." Luke didn’t even need to finish that sentence as Cam finished it for him.
"Then the whole school knows about me already."
"Jeez, Cam." Luke realized he was close to losing it as panic built in his chest. That was another barrier down in his argument for being together but not at school.
"I can handle it. We can handle it. The two of us."
Fear gripped Luke. He wished he had the words to explain what was inside his head. He wished he was braver.
"I can't. I want to. Cam, I'm sorry, but I can't." Luke was acting like some kind of mad unfocused idiot, and he knew it. Cam looked a little hurt, and a lot confused.
"Everyone knows you’re gay," Cam started, "and now everyone likely knows I am as well."
"But, we don't have to throw it in people’s faces." Luke winced as Cam dropped his hand. "Listen to me, Cam. School is going to be shit today. You will be what everyone talks about, the captain of the football team gay."
"Okay," Cam said simply. Luke wasn’t sure what to read into that single word, but he was sure, inside, that it wasn’t a good “okay”.
"Okay?"
"Well," Cam said with a shrug, "not okay. I was kind of hoping I would have you next to me after all the stuff we talked about… "
No, thought Luke, it wasn’t what they had talked about at all. Darkness had made everything possible, and Cam had done all the talking. He had created this perfect world where the two of them could walk into the school holding hands and everyone would be intimidated to stay away. He glanced at his watch, realizing with a sinking stomach that they only had a few minutes to first bell.
"I have history," Luke started. In his mind, he had the perfect reasons for why they should gently introduce their new “boyfriend” status to the school a drip at a time. Unfortunately, nothing in his head was forming actual sentences.
"Computers," Cam answered distractedly. He glanced at his own watch and turned on his heel to leave. Luke watched as the boy whom he had planned his near future around pulled his shoulders back and stepped out from behind the tree. Luke darted after him, grabbing at his jacket, and they stood frozen in what Luke envisioned as a dramatic tableau.
"I'm sorry, okay? Please?" He just wanted Cam to say it was okay. Cam turned to him and traced his face with one hand, dropping a small kiss on his forehead.
A group of junior high kids walked past, and Cam pulled away and dropped his hand, but not before Luke realized a few of the kids were siblings of the football team members. Fuck, great.
Cam took a step back. "Don't be sorry," he said, and then walked away.
"Will I see you between classes?" The call after Cam sounded a little desperate. Luke knew he was a fucking coward, and it didn’t help when Cam turned back to face him, the fire of determination in his gorgeous blue eyes.
"Count on it," he said with promise. He walked into the school, and Luke watched until his boyfriend, his boyfriend, disappeared out of sight. That hadn't gone well at all. He should have just said that he was scared of Cam deciding he wasn’t gay at all and turning on him. Or that he was scared of being vulnerable and alone in classes and being blamed for changing Cam into something he shouldn’t be. He should have told the truth about what had happened to him in the past, or at least part of it. Instead, he was leaving Cam with the thought Luke didn’t want people to know for any other reason than his own self-preservation. The bell for first period echoed out of the open windows, and he cursed. Last thing he needed was to be late for history. He would get his head around what he needed to say in history and maybe grab Cam in the short five minutes before period two and the wonder of chem.
* * * * *
Luke didn’t catch Cam between classes, and he didn’t track him down until lunch. He finally found him standing in the yard area behind the school, in what appeared to be a confrontation with three members of the football team. Dan was there next to Cam, his arms folded across his broad linebacker chest, and his body language screaming “back off”. Whatever was being discussed was causing his boyfriend to need Dan in protection mode, and in that moment, Luke wanted it to be him that could form a barrier between Cam and real life. He moved closer, hoping to catch Cam's gaze, but it seemed Cam was too intensely focused
on whatever Eddie was saying.
