When he had gone upstairs, Atlee brushed a loose piece of hair from the tabletop. He had an odd expression on his face. He glanced at her several times, but couldn’t seem to find a way to speak his piece.
“Is something on your mind, Atlee?”
“We had a letter from our grossmammi the other day.”
“Is she enjoying Grace’s visit?”
“I reckon. Grace is staying until the week after Christmas. Sarah, you haven’t really been matchmaking for Levi, have you?”
Embarrassment flooded her face with heat. “What gave you that idea?”
“Grandma wrote that one of Grace’s friends was matchmaking for him. Moses and me thought it might be you.”
So that was how Levi found out. She sighed deeply. “I admit I was trying to help, but Levi has no need of a matchmaker.”
“Course not. He’s not the marrying kind.”
“You may be mistaken about that.”
“What do you mean? Is Levi is seeing someone?”
“I shouldn’t say. When he is ready to wed, he will tell you.”
“Nee. Who would marry my brother?”
“A very blessed woman, if you ask me.”
Sarah suddenly glared at Atlee and shook a finger at him. “You must not play tricks or jokes on them, Atlee. Hearts are not playthings.”
He held his hands in the air. “All right. We won’t, but it would help if we knew who she was.”
“I will not say, but if you open your eyes, you can put two and two together. You know who your sister has been seeing, don’t you?”
“That wimp, Henry Zook.”
“He is not a wimp. He is your sister’s choice. She may wed him one day. You must respect that.”
“Okay, but the only woman Levi has been around much is you. Is he courting you?”
An intense sense of loss settled in her chest. “Nee, he is not. I believe he has been seeing another.”
“Wait, do you mean Leah Belier? The teacher?” His voice shot up an octave.
Perhaps now the boys would realize Levi’s life no long revolved around them. “It is for Levi to say, not me. How do you want your oatmeal?”
“Oatmeal is oatmeal.” His dejected tone made her smile.
“Not when you add brown sugar and cinnamon or raisins. Would you like to try it?”
“Levi can’t be serious about the teacher. That would be awful. If she came to live with us it would be worse that being in school again. She has eyes in the back of her head. She’d make us toe the line day and night.”
“Someone should.”
He stayed silent, but he wore a belligerent expression that gave her pause.
“I’m sorry I said anything, Atlee. Levi may not be serious about anyone. But if such a thing does happen, you must be happy for him no matter who his choice is.”
Sarah noticed a lock of hair against the table leg that had escaped her broom. Leaning down, she plucked it from the floor and added it to the one in her pocket. Tonight, she would press them between sheets of tissue paper and place them in her Bible. Then she would pray for Levi’s happiness and not for her own.
* * *
Levi made a rapid recovery. Sarah didn’t come to his home again after she cut his hair. He would not soon forget those moments together, the feel of her hands, the whisper of her breath, the scent of her body so close to his. It had taken all the willpower he possessed not to take her in his arms and declare his love.
Would she have been repulsed by his actions, or would she have accepted his advances?
He wasn’t half the man Jonas had been, but maybe Sarah could love him just a little. She didn’t have to love him the way she had loved her husband. He could accept that. He would spend a lifetime trying to make her happy and keep her safe.
He didn’t know what answer she might have given him. He lacked the courage to act.
He saw her only briefly the following day when she stopped in at the shop to tell him she wouldn’t be able to work until after Christmas.
He understood, but he missed her and found himself spending most of the day looking out the window toward her house. At least two more men dropped by to visit her. Levi’s punishment for his little joke was having to watch and wonder what was going on inside her home until each man left. Just because he lacked the courage to declare his feelings didn’t mean another man would have such trouble. He prayed for courage and the chance to learn how she felt about him.
On Sunday evening, Levi joined his family at the home of his cousin Rebecca and her husband, Gideon. His grandfather Reuben and Reuben’s wife were there, as well. Levi’s grandmother died before he was born. Lydia was his grandfather’s third wife. She had a sour disposition, but she was a mighty good cook.
The day was cold with occasional snowflakes drifting down from gray skies. The weather suited Levi’s mood.
The company was good, as was the plentiful food. His grandfather’s stories of holidays past had everyone chuckling. When the meal was over, Reuben stepped outside to smoke his pipe. Levi joined him. Few Amish smoked, but the occasional use of a pipe by an elder was permitted.
His grandfather’s snow-white hair held a permanent crimp around his head from the hat he normally wore. His beard, as white as his hair, reached the center of the dark gray vest he had buttoned over his white shirt. His sharp eyes looked Levi up and down. “You are better?”
“I am.”
“Gotte es goot. I heard those rascally brothers of yours played a pretty good prank on Daniel Hershberger and his new wife.”
“I knew the story would get around quick. The twins rigged the seat to tip over backwards when the carriage started moving.”
“So it is true? Daniel and Susan went rolling down the street with their feet in the air?”
Levi suppressed a grin. “Kicking like a pair of mad babies.”
Reuben pulled his pipe from between his teeth and laughed out loud. “I wish I might have seen it.”
“It was right funny, but what they did was no laughing matter. Had Daniel’s horse run out into traffic, someone could have gotten hurt, or worse.”
“True enough. What have you done about it?”
“I told the boys they had to find work elsewhere,”
“Did you?” Reuben looked surprised. He took a drag on his pipe and blew a ring of smoke in the air.
“Was I wrong?”
“That’s not for me to say, Levi. You’ve dedicated your life to raising those boys. Many admire you for it, some call you foolish. A man rarely has the luxury of knowing if his decision was right or wrong in this life. How did they take it?”
“Better than I hoped.”
“Have you thought about separating them?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m thinking it might be good for them to get along without each other for a time. Your cousin Mark from over in Berlin could put one of the boys to work on his dairy farm. Leah Belier told Lydia her cousin was looking for help in his construction business in Sugarcreek. He and his family are staying with her until tomorrow if you want to talk to him about it.”
“The twins have never been away from each other.”
“Unless they plan to remain old boys all their lives, that will have to change eventually.”
“I will think on it.” He would ask Sarah for her opinion. She had a knack for handling the boys.
A shriek came from inside the house. They hurried in to find Lydia beating the floor with a broom. The twins were doubled over with laughter.
Atlee said, “It’s just a plastic spider.”
“The look on your face was priceless.” Moses caught sight of Levi’s stern face and smothered his grin.
“Oh, you evil boys. I hate spiders, and you know it.” Ly
dia left the room with a huff.
“You’re lucky my wife didn’t take that broom to your backsides.” Reuben sent a speaking glance at Levi.
He knew what his grandfather meant. It was time the boys learned to go their separate ways. He would speak to his cousin Mark and to Leah’s cousin.
He nodded. “I reckon you are right. It’s time we should be leaving. Gideon and Rebecca, it was a mighty good meal. Merry Christmas to you all. Grandfather, please tell Lydia I’m sorry for her fright. The boys will be over this week to cut and stack a cord of wood for her.”
The expressions on the boys’ faces changed from amusement to outrage. Levi fixed his gaze on them and added sternly, “And they will be happy to do it.”
Reuben grinned and patted the boys on their shoulders. “You will find many changes in store for you in the next few weeks. If I were you boys, I’d be on my best behavior.”
Moses glanced from his grandfather to Levi. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Levi said, “We’ll talk about it after supper tonight. It’s time to go.”
To his surprise, the twins didn’t pester him for an explanation on the way home. When they arrived at the house, he waited until the boys got out, then he said, “I’ve got to see someone. I’ll be home in a couple of hours.”
“Where are you going?” Atlee asked.
“To Leah Belier’s place.”
The twins exchanged hard glances with each other. Levi snapped the lines against his horse’s rump and drove away. It was four miles to Leah’s home. He would have plenty of time to wonder if he was doing the right thing before he reached her house. He half hoped her cousin would be gone by the time he arrived.
* * *
Sarah had been waiting for Levi to come home. When she saw them pull up, she hurried to put on her coat, gathered her gift and headed out the front door. But by the time she reached her front gate, Levi was turning the corner at the end of the street. The twins were standing in their front yard watching him leave.
Disappointed, she decided her gift might as well be given to the twins. She walked toward them with a large package wrapped in white butcher’s paper in her arms and said, “Good evening to you both. I have a little something I thought you might like.”
Atlee looked at her brightly. “What is it?”
“It’s a smoked ham. I thought you might enjoy it for supper or keep it for Christmas dinner.”
Amos Fisher had stopped by with it earlier. She didn’t think he would mind if the Beachy family enjoyed some of his generosity. It would take her ages to finish so much meat.
“Where is Levi going?” She hadn’t intended to show such interest, but she couldn’t help herself.
“He’s going to see his girlfriend,” Moses grumbled.
“We don’t know that Leah is his girlfriend,” Atlee said, quickly.
Moses rolled his eyes. “I’m pretty sure he’s not taking reading and writing lessons. Thanks for the ham, Sarah.”
“Du bischt wilkumm,” she replied, handing it to him.
They were welcome to the ham even though she had hoped to make Levi smile when she told him where it came from. Amos Fisher had only one hundred and ninety-nine sows left now. Tonight, Levi wouldn’t be smiling at her joke. He’d be smiling at something Leah said or making her laugh.
Sarah sighed and looked at Moses. “Are you going to the winter picnic at Leah’s place on Saturday?”
“Are you?” Atlee asked.
“I’m not sure. My brother and his family are coming to visit. It depends on when they leave. What about you?”
Moses scowled. “That’s a party for old folks. We don’t want the gang thinking we’re part of the goody-goody crowd. We’re going to the hoedown at Ezra Bowman’s farm.”
“I heard Sally Yoder mention it. Ben Lapp seemed to think it might be a wild party.”
“That’s the best kind,” Atlee said with a grin.
“You boys will be careful, won’t you? I’ve heard that some of the kids in that gang drink and do drugs.”
“We’ll be careful. We don’t need to drink to have a good time,” Moses assured her with a twinkle in his eyes.
“That’s very sensible.”
“We don’t need to, but it helps!” Atlee yelled.
The boys dashed up the steps and into the house before she could say anything else.
She curbed her need to scold them and held tight to the knowledge that most Amish boys gave up their wild teenage ways and became good husbands and fathers. She would pray that Levi’s brothers soon discovered worldly pleasures weren’t as satisfying as leading a quiet, plain life with their loved ones and friends close at hand. It would break Levi’s heart if they strayed from the Amish way of life and were lost to the wickedness of the world.
Sarah looked up to heaven. “Lord, what those boys need is a sign from You to make them see the error of their ways.”
When she thought of all Levi had done for them and how little they seemed to care, she frowned. “I dearly wish I could see You deliver it.”
Chapter Thirteen
Levi got his wish. Leah’s cousin had already gone by the time he reached her home. She gave Levi her brother’s address in Sugarcreek and encouraged him to write and ask about a position for one of the boys. Like Levi’s grandfather, she thought spending some time apart would be good for them.
Over the next several days, Levi saw little of Sarah. Her family had arrived and she was kept busy with her houseful. On the Monday before Christmas, he had a chance to become reacquainted with her brother when he came by the shop.
Vernon was several years older than Levi, but he remembered him from school. “You’re the boy my sister shoved in the creek, aren’t you? I heard about that from the girls.”
The reminder wasn’t as painful as it once had been. “I reckon I deserved it.”
“It was Bethany’s doing. She thought it was a pretty good joke, but I don’t think she ever told Sarah. Poor Sarah, she felt so bad. She always thought she was the reason you left school before graduation.”
“My dad needed me in the shop.”
“I thought that must be it. That last year of school was a waste for me. I wanted to be out and working. I thought I’d be working in the mill alongside my father. Instead, I married a woman with a dairy farm. Luckily, we have her nephews who help us or we wouldn’t be able to come for this visit. Cows never take a day off.”
Levi smiled at the boy hanging on Vernon’s leg. “What’s your name?”
“Merle.”
“Nice to meet you. How old are you, Merle?”
“Five. I’m gonna go to school next year.” He was dressed exactly like his father, with dark pants, a dark coat and a wide-brimmed black hat.
“Are you enjoying your visit with your aunt Sarah?” Levi asked.
“She’s gonna take me fishing today,” the tyke announced proudly.
Leaning down, Levi propped his hands on his knees and said, “I’d stand clear when she tries to cast if I were you. She’s not very good at it.”
“I heard that,” Sarah said from the doorway.
He saw her approaching with a woman he assumed was her sister-in-law and two little girls.
Vernon introduced his wife, Alma, and his daughters Rosanna and Phoebe. Rosanna, who looked to be about eleven or twelve, stood quietly by her mother’s side. She reminded him of Sarah at that age. Phoebe was a few years younger. She hung back behind her mother’s skirts and clutched a blank-faced doll.
Alma said, “I can’t wait to do some of my Christmas shopping. What a treat it is to stay in town. Vernon, are you sure you’ll be okay with the kinder while I’m gone?”
“Don’t worry about us. Come, children, let us hitch up your aunt Sarah’s buggy for Mother so she d
oesn’t have to walk the streets with her arms full of packages.” He herded the kids out the door.
Alma said, “Sarah, I forgot my shawl in the house. I’ll be right back.”
Levi found himself alone with Sarah. The ease with which he’d once spoken to her deserted him. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and hold her close. He needed to know how she felt about him. He needed to know if there was any hope for him. Could she love him even a little?
The questions he wanted to ask stuck in his throat. Fear made him keep silent.
When her family left the shop, Sarah crossed her arms and smiled after them. “I can’t believe how much those children have grown since I last saw them. Rosanna has put off her eahmal shatzli.”
The eahmal shatzli or “long apron” was the traditional dress of young Amish girls. When a girl was allowed to “put it off” and wear the short apron and cape like her mother, it was a sign that she was moving into womanhood.
Levi said, “She looks like you did at her age.”
“She’s much prettier than I was and so bright. She reminds me of Bethany.”
“Sarah, I need to speak to you,” he blurted out in a rush.
From outside, Alma called, “Sarah, I’m ready.”
The door opened and young Walter Knepp came in. The teenager looked around and asked, “Where are the twins?”
Sarah took a step closer to Levi. “You look so serious, Levi. What’s the matter?”
He couldn’t do it. Not with people watching and waiting on them. He needed to find a time when they wouldn’t be interrupted.
“Never mind. It can wait. Enjoy your shopping trip. Walter, the twins are at the harness shop chopping wood for their grandfather.”
Walter left but Sarah remained. “Are you sure it can wait?”
He nodded. “I’m sure.”
“Okay.”
She started to leave but paused at the door. “We’re going to eat at the café tomorrow evening. Would you like to join us? The twins are welcome, as well.”
He felt as if a weight had fallen off his back. “I’d like that.”
A Hope Springs Christmas Page 15
