“Perfect girl,” Zahara says, pulling me into a hug. “Now I have some calls to make,” Zahara says leaving the kitchen, Laila has returned from her shower with Geo dressed and ready for her day.
“I feel bad leaving you now!’ she says.
“No! No, enjoy your vacation, I have to work anyway,” I say, and she pouts pulling me into a hug. “See you guys later, take a lot of pictures for me,” I say. Just as they leave my phone starts lighting up with Braum’s name for the 5th time since I ended the livestream. This time I answer. “Hello?”
“What happened to keeping Lorelei’s life private?” he snaps.
“You and your wedding announcement kind of changed that,” I say.
“None of those rumors were true until you came forward,” he says.
“Are you seriously fucking mad at me right now? The same guy who proposed to his fucking girlfriend of 2 months the day before my album released party that I invited you to?” I say.
“Stop don’t be like that, stop acting like you’re giving me handouts,”
“Giving you handouts? I guess you don’t consider staying in an expensive hotel for 2 weeks until you found an apartment a handout or all the flights you made on my dime,” I snap. “This is my job Braum, and just like your new girlfriend,”
“She’s my fiancé,” he says.
“It was going to come out and you know it, if it didn’t come for me, I’d have to do way more damage control than you have to,” I say. I don’t say anything else; I just hang up the phone nearly chucking at the wall but calming myself down.
“Ready for some TV appearances?” Zahara says behind me.
“Where did you meet Abraham”
“How long were you dating?”
“Why did you break up?”
The same questions for weeks, the same looks, the same whispers, the same everything. It wasn’t even like I released an album, or questions about Christmas and New Year’s, it was all about Abraham. It sure did give Carson’s Instagram following a boost. My desperate need for Lorelei to not be in the limelight has vanished and in its place was her Instagram account, and brand deals and everything I didn’t want for her.
“And 5,6,7,8!” Howard, the stage manager snaps, and the band begins to play, I walk up to the microphone starting the song. Standing in the fake crowd was Zahara, my management team. My parents, and friends wouldn’t be arriving until the beginning of the show. It was opening night, day one of my world tour, it was time we left the road, and my life was more than the magazines and running from paparazzi. Lorelei was ecstatic that instead of staying behind like before, forced to see me only during our Facetime calls, she was come with me.
“Adeya! Adeya!” Zahara snaps, walking over to the steps. “You’re zoning out on me honey,” she says.
“I can’t be nervous?” I ask, and she sighs walking over to me.
“This isn’t any different than any of your other world tours,” she says, squeezing me. “It’s just bigger,”
“Was that your way of trying to make me feel better?”
“You know what, I think we’ve rehearsed enough for tonight everyone, call time it 6 don’t forget it,” Zahara says, before leading my off the stage. We walk backstage where May sits in a small area made for her, with Lorelei. There is a screen for them to watch movies and the performance and plenty of toys and games for them to play. “Why don’t you wash up, get ready for the V.I.P session, we’ll have dinner, and then the night is beginning,”
“Got it,” I say. I walk into my dressing room immediately shedding the sweaty rehearsal clothes and moving into the shower. I take a long shower, and try not to think of the nerves, I wasn’t even this nervous my first tour, it felt like the stage was where I was supposed to be, I still felt that way. Jacob said I was still at the beginning of my career, I was young, innocent, and everything the industry wanted, then he said I could move into acting, or whatever path, we had it all planned.
When I leave the shower, Laila and Lorelei are in my dressing room. Laila is braiding back Lorelei’s hair. “Waiting for me?”
“Your glam squad is, Geo is at the snack bar and your parents are coming for dinner,” Laila says, “Heads up, Braum’s parents are here too, your mother didn’t want to tell you, but they miss their grand baby,”
“Well Braum isn’t coming, and that’s all that matters,” I say.
“You’re going to have to see him, he’s going to want to Lorelei before you guys leave,” Laila says, I begin getting dressed.
“I just already have so much on my mind,” I open the dressing room door, and the glam squad comes in starting my first look of the night. For my V.I.P session, and photos with fans. Before that however it was dinner, and as first night show tradition, Zahara confirmed and Italian feast waited for me. A tradition brought on, during my first ever tour, the first night we went to a low-down Italian restaurant and I got food poisoning but still performed.
Lorelei sings my entire setlist while I get ready, and when I’m finished, she’s latched to my hip as I gear up to go on stage.
“There are ready for you, the microphone is on the stage,” Zahara says, grabbing Lorelei from me. “And your favorite person is here,” she says, pointing towards Braum and Carson, who stood with Braum’s parents.
“Amazing,” I say.
“Focus, meet and greet,” she says, pushing me towards the stage. I walk in that direction and Braum walks that way.
“Adeya, we need to talk please,” Braum says.
“I’m a little busy right now,” I say.
“It’s important,” he says.
“It can wait,” I snap, before heading out on the stage greeted by the happy crowd. I spend a lot of time answering questions about the album, and connecting with my fans, which was my favorite part of everything. When that’s finished, we do the photoshoot, where I have to take pictures with everyone who paid for a ticket. I gave a lot of hugs and stopped a lot of people from crying and then I was down, and for two hours I could relax while the stadium fills, and the first acts go on.
Zahara waits for me with Laila and Lorelei, everyone already heading to the crafts table. Before I can grab a plate, Braum is at my side again. “We need to talk,” he says, I follow him away from the table where it’s just the both of us. “I was thinking and talking it over with my parents and Carson and I don’t think Lorelei should go on tour with you,” he says.
“What?”
“It’s 6 whole months where she won’t have a stable living environment, she won’t be in school, and she’ll be open to more sickness and disease,” he says.
“I’ve already worked everything out, we won’t be staying on the bus, we have hotel suites in every city we’re stopping out, so Lorelei will be having a bed to sleep in, May will be here 90% of the time and is also her tutor so she won’t be missing any school, and it’s not like she’s going to be walking around the city,” I say.
“I think we should think about her staying with Carson and I,” he says.
“Hell no, absolutely not,” I say.
“Adeya that isn’t fair,”
“It’s not your decision,” I say.
“Why isn’t it,” he snaps. I step back and he takes a breath. “When it comes to our child, you seem to be making all the decisions, she’s my kid too Adeya and I’ve been trying to work with you on this, but you have to work with me,”
“Is everything alright over here?” Zahara says. “We hit hair and makeup in 30 minutes, you should probably eat,” Zahara says, walking up beside us.
“Just one second,” I say, she nods taking one good look at Braum before walking away. I watch her go but not before making eye contact with Carson, who stood with Braum’s parents. I look over at Braum. “Lorelei is coming with me no if ands or buts about it Braum, I already gave you all expense paid trips to visit us and see the concert, I’ve already planned everything out and you were okay with it, what changed?”
“Carson wants to focus on the
wedding,”
“Then focus on the wedding Braum! But if you think for one second that you’re going to trying to fight me on my daughter you have another thing coming,” I say. “I will make it so hard for you, I’ll make it so Carson can’t be in the same room with her until you’re married and after that I’ll still try hard, because if you want to make it that way it can be that way,” I snap. He doesn’t say anything, just stares at me like he’s never seen me before. “You need to stop letting everyone whisper in your ear about what you want Braum, stop acting like you don’t know,”
Chapter Eighteen
“And a toast, to the end of the first night of your world tour,” Zahara cheers, holding out her glass. We sat in the hotel suite, May and Lorelei long asleep. Geo, Laila, Calum, and Alec still buzzed from the drinks they had at the concert, and Zahara and I still buzzed about the concert.
“And now that it’s just us,” Alec says, after we hit our glasses together and take a sip. “What were you and Braum talking about before the show?” he asks, I scoff rolling my eyes,
“Carson and his parents are filling his head with this belief that I’m this bad guy that’s trying to keep his daughter away from him,” I say. “He wanted me to rethink Lorelei coming on tour with me, and instead suggested she stay back with him and his Fiancé,”
“That’s ridiculous,” Laila says.
“Are you joking?” Zahara says. “Before your performance, how selfish!”
“It’s Carson, it’s calculated, she knows how to get under girls’ skin,” I say, “She knows how much it hurts, she knows that I still love him,” the room fills with silence. “It’s really hard guys, I see him everything, every song, every book I read, I see him in her face every time I look at her, and I know that no matter what…. I will always love him,” I set down my glass, running my hands through my hair. “And I always wish that things will change, and somehow things will work out with us, like Rachel and Ross,” that earns and a sad laugh.
“You’ll get through this,” Calum nudges me. “Everyone has that someone,”
“What if Braum is my someone, he’s going to get married to Carson and act like the 10 years we had together were nothing when it’s literally all I can think about when I look at him, our first kiss, our first date, the day he told me he loved me all of it just replays in my head over and over again like a fucking record,” I say. “I’m sorry guys, I’m being such a Debby fucking downer,” I mutter, before sliding out of the seat. “See you tomorrow for night two,” I say, before shuffling into the room. Lorelei is curled on the bed, SpongeBob flashing on the screen, I crawl in beside her, wrapping my body around her.
In the morning we have breakfast in the hotel, and then we’re on the road. The second performance in Texas. Before leaving, we waited for Braum in the hotel garage so he could say goodbye to Lorelei before we had to the bus lot. I waited in the car, trying to forget about last night, when Braum arrives, Carson waits in the car.
“We’re going to talk everyday right?” Braum asks.
“Yes,” Lorelei says.
“And Facetime?”
“Yes,” she chirps.
“And you’re going to take a lot of pictures for me, right?” he questions, and she nods before peppering his face with kisses. “I’m going to see you very soon baby bear,” he says, before helping Lorelei back into her car seat. When she’s buckled in, he closes the door and walks up to the passenger window where I sat. “I want to apologize,” he says. “I know how much work it is to put stuff like this together, and to incorporate a child is a lot of work and I’m sorry,”
“And I’m sorry if I’ve seemed insensitive towards this parenting thing, I’ve been doing it on my own for so long I just don’t want to share, and I know how selfish it sounds and terrible but I’m getting used to it,” I say.
“I will see you in New York,” he says.
“See you in New York,” I say. We don’t leave until they do, it’s straight to the bus lot where Zahara is waiting and the other buses are already gone. Lorelei is immediately given headphones and a tablet, and I’m forced to do vocal warmups.
“So, how are you?” Zahara says.
“I’ve had better days,” I say, lying back in my bed.
“Well you have 5 whole shows before you have to see him again, and you don’t have worry about Facetimes or anything,” Zahara says, lying down beside me. “And I’m sorry,” I look over at her and she’s staring at the bus ceiling. “I keep telling you to get over it, and move on, and I know how much Braum means to you, I mean I saw you the day after he broke up with you, I mean you were so fragile and sad but you’re so happy now,”
“You don’t have to apologize,” I say.
“No, I shouldn’t have to get over Braum, he was a big part of your life and you have his child, he’s back in your life now and it’s not fair for me or anyone else to tell you how you should get over this, take your time,” Zahara says. “If Calum broke up with me, I’d be pretty fucking lost, he’s been a part of my life for so long he’s been pretty much the light of my life,”
“I’m glad you understand,” I say.
“But don’t forget how far you’ve grown! You gave birth and raised Lorelei on your own for 5 years granted he didn’t know but you did it, all while being a highly awarded recording artist, you did it all without Braum and you can continue without Braum,” Zahara says.
++
“So, I was talking to the Clifford’s,” My mother says, taking a hesitant sip of her coffee.
“I don’t want to hear it mom,” I say.
“You kept her away from him for 5 years Adeya,”
“We’re seriously not having this conversation right now,” I say, running my fingers through my hair. “Listen, I appreciate your input mom but Braum and I are adults and can make decision on our own,” I say, before pushing out of seat walking near the stage exit outside. I step outside to take a breath, and I can hear the screams of the fans. I wave and smile and take cover behind the security van, while my guards take a smoke break.
“Mic. Check in 15 minutes!” someone shouts out the door. I decide to walk back inside, ignoring my mom who sat with May and Lorelei at the lunch table. Zahara incepts me before I step on stage, but I don’t feel like answering questions.
“I’m fine, I’m just sick and tired of people telling me how to take care of my daughter,” I say,
“Parents in the V.I.P suite? Got it, just head in the game,” Zahara says, pushing me onto stage, I’m distracted for the next 4 hours before my break. When I do get a break, my mother is waiting for me off stage again, to my annoyance.
“Can this wait?” I ask.
“You know it can’t sweetie,” she says, leading me towards the craft table. “I remember when you were a little girl, and you first met Braum and you spent every day together, I could barely pry you apart, and I thought wow I have never saw my baby girl so happy and then you had Lorelei,” my mom says, giving a supportive squeeze. “And I know you’re an adult, and can make your own decisions but whenever I look at you I see my little girl curling her hair in her bedroom, and singing way to loud in the shower and all I want is what’s best for you,”
“And what’s best for me is to figure all this out on my own mom, and Lorelei is perfectly fine on this tour with me,” I say, before pulling her into another hug. “I have to stuff figured out mom, thank you for the help,”
“I love you; you’ll always be my baby girl even if you have a baby girl of your own,” she says, squeezing me. I pull away pecking her cheek.
“And stop talking to the Clifford’s about my business alright? They can control their son, but they don’t control me, okay?” I say.
“Got it,” she says. She leaves my side going back to my Father who sat chatting with the stage crew, I make myself a plate of food, and moving towards the dressing room. I push into the room, where I find Zahara crying on the floor.
“What’s happening?” I say, setting my plate down a
nd dropping on the floor with her. “What’s wrong?” I ask. She doesn’t say anything, just silently shakes before pulling away, wiping her face.
“I’m 2 weeks late,” she says, before revealing the pregnancy test.
“Holy,” I say.
“I thought it was the stress, it’s almost always the stress and I forget about it, but I’ve been feeling sick lately,” she says.
“Have you told Calum?” I ask.
“No, I’m terrified,” she says, putting the pregnancy test on the ground. “We’re already over our head with the wedding and giving time for each other during the tour if I’m pregnant they’re going to send me home,” she says. I pull myself into a seating position, before picking up the pregnancy test.
Great One Page 15
