Uncovering You 8: Redemption

by Scarlett Edwards

  His initial goal, before the shift—before he became Jeremy—was to be in full and utter control of my mind.

  My stomach drops. With my most recent declaration, I’ve served it up to him on a silver platter.

  Shit! Shit! Shit!

  There is no deception anymore. I cannot claim to be hiding things—anything!—from him. Not when he knows the way I feel. Not when he got the precise thing that he was after when he was still Stonehart.

  Jeremy…Jeremy Stonehart…does not make empty promises—least of all to himself. He set his sights on me, and got me.

  But that was just the physical. The only way I survived his abuse in the dark was by disassociating myself mentally. I told myself that—no matter what he did—he could never have my mind.

  Now, I’ve given it up.

  Utter terror. That is what I feel. I turn around slowly, angling my body toward his.

  Jeremy has not moved from his spot. He simply stands there, watching me. With the cold, calculating eyes of a vulture.

  “Are you Jeremy?” I find myself asking. I can hardly believe the words coming from my mouth. “Or are you…Stonehart?”

  He smiles, coyly. It’s a smile full of understanding. “I was not aware there was a difference,” he tells me.

  I know he’s mocking me, now.

  It takes every bit of strength I have to make myself start down the stairs. Not to turn away and run and hide, but to face the monster head on.

  “Maybe there’s not,” I say. My composure has returned—outwardly, at least. I’m ready to tackle whatever comes next. “But that would be a great loss for you.”

  “Would it?” he muses.

  “Oh yes,” I say. I walk purposely toward him. I start to circle him, as if I’m the hunter, and he’s the prey.

  “When you’re Stonehart, I hate you. I despise you. You could say…” I smile at him. “…that I want you dead.”

  He does not blink.

  “But,” I continue, “when you’re Jeremy…” I trail a finger up the back of his arm, to his shoulder, and across his neck, “…sometimes, when you’re Jeremy…I think I love you. No,” I stop my finger and go up on both toes to whisper in his ear, “I do love you, Jeremy. But as the man you are in those moments. Not as the man you are always.”

  I laugh and turn away. “It’s quite fucked up. Isn’t it? This thing we have between us? But that is what makes it so special. That is what makes it so…” I face him and fix him with a sultry glare, “…erotic.”

  “Lilly,” he growls. I’ve had my effect on him. He already sounds lustful and aroused.

  “Nuh uh,” I waggle my finger. “I know how much you want me, Jeremy. I can see it in your eyes. But unlike before, I’m not going to just let you reach out and have me. You’re going to have to work for it. You’re going to have to prove your worth.”

  Next comes my biggest gamble.

  “Of course,” I continue, “you could just force yourself on me. You could take me against my will. Everybody around the world knows how big and powerful you are. How easy it would be for you to overpower someone like me. Small. Fragile. And, in your own words…precious.”

  “Lilly,” he says. “You don’t know what you’re doing. I’m warning you right now to stop. Or so help me, I won’t be able to restrain myself.”

  “Won’t you?” I wonder. “What happened to that spectacular self-control? Hmm? Surely you don’t want to become the monster you lamented being before, to the woman you claim has stolen your heart. Do you?”

  “It’s not a claim,” he growls, tendrils of anger thrumming through in his voice. “It is the undeniable truth.”

  “Is that ‘truth’ with a capital ‘T,’ Jeremy?” I ask. “Or is it out of your made up self-delusions?”

  “I never…” He steps toward me. “…delude myself.”

  Caught! I think.

  I let him walk himself right to his own noose.

  “In that case,” I tell him, standing tall even as he approaches, even as he looks me over and grabs both my arms. “If you force yourself on me without my permission again, you will be doing irreparable damage to everything we’ve accomplished between us. You will be annihilating your one chance of redemption. You will be destroying your one chance at…” I look him right in his storming eyes. “…love.”

  “God dammit, Lilly!” he hisses. “I hate it when you talk sense.”

  With that, his mouth crashes into mine.

  Given all that I’ve said, you’d think the impulse would be to fight. It is not. I’ve riled myself up talking to Jeremy. All that fire needs an outlet.

  It is this.

  I kiss him back with unabashed passion. Jeremy might think he is taking control—he is not. I am the one in the lead.

  I devour his mouth and claw my hands over his back, through his hair. I pull him toward me, needing to feel his every breath, his every heartbeat. Passion such as this lets me know I’m still alive. It reassures me that I still exert the ultimate control over Jeremy’s body.

  It is I who has the ultimate effect on him. I who evokes such animal ferocity.

  And I who chooses to give it back.

  His hands run down my body. He grabs my ass. He tugs me toward him, keeping me plastered there tight and hard. His erection against my stomach fills me with the most ravenous sort of need. I haven’t had him inside me for so long. My body is starved for the feeling his cock brings me.

  I jump up and wrap both my legs around him. He staggers back a step, then surges forward and crashes me into a wall.

  And still we’re kissing, devouring, clashing.

  He thrusts his hips into me. I give a small, shocked gasp. With me plastered against the wall like that, all I can think of is how good it is to have my body taken like this. How good it is when it is exactly what I want.

  How good it is when it is precisely what I need.

  “Lilly,” he grunts. “I can’t help it. I’m not going to stop.”

  “I’m not going to ask you to,” I say, and pull his head back to mine.

  Our lips meet again. Only this time, the kiss is interrupted by his tearing my clothes off.…and my doing the same to his.

  In short order, all that remains of our garments is a pile of discarded rags. I gasp again, and then moan in satiated pleasure as Jeremy pushes into me. The cold stone wall behind me steals my warmth. But the heat of Jeremy’s naked body against mine is like being pressed into an inferno. He consumes me. He makes me feel alive.

  He thrusts into me, again and again and again. I arch into him, my head falling back as far as it will go. He feasts on my neck, my breasts.

  And then he lets me slide down, and stares straight into my eyes. He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. All that we have between us is communicated in that omniscient stare. Words are meaningless. The connection I feel, looking into his eyes, having his cock fill my body, sparring the heat and intensity that radiates off him in soul-consuming waves…none of that needs to be communicated verbally. We’ve transcended that. We’ve reached some higher level of harmony.

  “Come for me, Lilly Flower,” he whispers.

  At his words, the floodgates open. My body is rocked by the most glorious orgasm. It comes both from him and from somewhere deep inside, from a place previously inaccessible to me simply because I did not know that it existed.

  Jeremy has shown me it does. And so much more. He’s opened my eyes to a vast sea of pleasure that is so good it hurts.

  I gasp and lose myself in its midst. It rolls through me for an inordinate amount of time: ceaseless, steady, never-ending. When it’s done—when I’m left barely conscious, clinging onto Jeremy’s hard shoulders like he’s my only anchor to the world—he kisses me softly and says,” I love you, too.”

  Chapter Ten

  Waking up the next morning is as disorienting as waking up in the middle of last night.

  After we fucked—after I got so riled up and angry, and then used Jeremy as an outlet for my e
motions—all the energy drained out of me. I became suddenly so exhausted that my mind was barely functional. I vaguely remember Jeremy carrying me up the stairs, through the hall, and back into this room. I remember my head hitting the pillow. After that, nothing.

  I look around, and see a slumbering male body next to me. I smile. That’s something that hasn’t happened for a long, long time.

  I touch Jeremy’s shoulder. He opens his eyes and peers lovingly at me.

  My heart absolutely melts in that moment.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” he murmurs, still half asleep.

  “Morning,” I say. I look around. “Where are we?”

  Jeremy half groans, half yawns as he pushes himself up. “Colorado,” he says.

  My eyebrows shoot up. “How did we get here?”

  He smiles smugly. “A plane.” He stretches his arms high over his head. “And then a chopper.”

  “Smart ass,” I quip. I hit his arm. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

  “I can’t read your mind, Lilly.” The words carry no malice.

  “You sure like to pretend you can.”

  He chuckles. “True enough.” He swings his legs off the bed and walks over to the armchair, picking up the robe draped over the back. My eyes devour the delicious contours of his body. I’m disappointed when he covers it up.

  “Do you want breakfast?” He asks. “I can cook. It’s just the two of us here.”

  “Jeremy Stonehart? Cooking breakfast? I never thought I’d see the day. I didn’t even know you were capable!”

  “We all have our little secrets,” he says, winking.

  Some worth more than others, I think.

  Instead, I say, “No, Jeremy, I don’t want breakfast. I want answers. What happened to me? How did we end up here? Why did we end up here? Don’t you and I have to get back to California, to Stonehart Industries? Don’t you have work to do before the IPO?”

  He sighs. “Those are questions that shouldn’t concern you.”

  “But they do, Jeremy,” I insist. “I’m not about to stick my head in the sand because it’s convenient for you to keep me in the dark.”

  A feeling of nausea comes over me the second I say that. Bad choice of words. I shake my head and press on.

  “What happened in Boston, Jeremy? How much time has passed since then? I remember waking up in a hospital. I remember a doctor—he was…” I narrow my eyes as a new understanding grips me. “He was you. But he wasn’t. He didn’t look at me the same. And then he drugged me. Why? And as I drifted away, I saw two of you. It was you…you and your twin!” I bolt upright, the memory now as clear as day. “Why didn’t you tell me you have a twin?”

  Jeremy looks at me for a long moment. Stoic. Nonreacting. I know what he’s doing. It is said that silence in conversation discomfits most people. He is waiting. He is giving me that. He is seeing if I will squirm and keep talking before I get his answer.

  I will not. I know his games. I know how he operates. This type of tactic might work well in the business world, but when we’re one-on-one like this, when I have the advantage of knowing him on an intimate level, I will not flinch.

  I wait it out and let the icy silence fill the air.

  Finally, he speaks.

  “I did not tell you before, Lilly, because there was no opportune time, nor any pressing need. There are many things about my life you do not know. I share with you the most relevant.” He pauses. “Trust me. You would not want to be burdened with the details of my past.”

  “No, Jeremy. That’s just it. That’s the thing!” I crawl over the bed toward him. “Don’t you see? That’s where you’re wrong! You don’t have to hide yourself from me. I know who you are. I’ve seen you in all your moods, all your states. I want you to share with me. I want you to feel you can trust me. You speak of that so much…of your desire for trust. Well, make good on those words! Show me what I mean to you. Prove your feelings by unburdening yourself.”

  I climb out of bed and go to him. He eyes me, somewhat warily. I’ve put him on guard.

  I take his hand. “I’m here for you, Jeremy,” I tell him softly. “You’re not alone in the world anymore. You don’t need to be. I’ve proven that I’m yours. Nobody can ever come close to the influence you exert over me. Nobody can ever claim that they have my heart. Nobody…” I look up at him. “…except you.”

  His eyes flicker over my face. He’s searching…searching for something. A shred of dishonesty. A trace of untruth.

  He will not find it. I meant every word. My words are pure and untainted, untouched by my desire for revenge.

  I don’t know how I’ll find a way to reconcile those two conflicting feelings. But I have infinite time. There is no rush.

  “I do believe you,” he says softly. “Fuck me, Lilly, I think you’re telling the truth.”

  “I wouldn’t lie to you, Jeremy. Not about this.”

  He takes a deep breath, visibly trying to compose himself. “Where do I even begin?” he asks.

  My heart leaps in my chest in an unbridled burst of joy. I did it! I got Jeremy to trust in me.

  “Tell me the truth about why you captured me.”

  “‘Captured’.” He smiles. “You’re a precious little thing, aren’t you? Captured is such a soft word for what I did. But you already know the truth of that, Lilly. Fey told you. I heard.”

  “And that’s it?” I ask. “That’s really what put me on your radar? The fact that my father—whom I did not know—was responsible for your mother’s death?”

  “Yes,” he says. “It makes me look despicable. Doesn’t it? But you don’t know how much she meant to me. You weren’t there to witness her downward spiral. You don’t know what it was like to watch the only person who’s ever loved you destroy herself in a slow, agonizing death.”

  “And you blame Paul for the fire? He wasn’t even there!”

  “No, but fire or not, she would have succumbed eventually. She used to be strong, Lilly. And she was beautiful. I remember her—as she should have been. A queen.

  “And yet life had broken her. She put on a strong face for her children. Most of all, for her youngest, for me.”

  “Your twin?” I wonder aloud.

  “No,” Jeremy shakes his head. “We were raised apart. My father…had strange ideas about parenthood. His morals and values were not shared by the rest of the world. Not ever. If you consider me a monster…”Jeremy grimances. “Well, I’m nothing compared to him.”

  “Yet you have him on your board,” I say. “Why?”

  “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” Jeremy quotes. “And your family, closest of all. I destroyed my father’s empire before he knew it was me. Before he knew how far his youngest had risen when freed from his tyrannical rein.

  “I gained influence over him. Power. But he always had a sharp mind. He was cruel yet clever. Conscientious yet calculating. I could not dispose of such a resource.

  “So I used him to my advantage. I made him dependent on me. I showed him how I gained control of every facet of his life before crushing him. And, stemming from that, he became my most trusted advisor. Even he could appreciate the strength of his own blood. It bolstered his ego.”

  “What about your older brothers?” I ask. “Charles said that you had two.”

  “Charles told you that?” Jeremy muses. “Well, he would be the best source of information about my past. What else did he say?”

  I bite my lip, suddenly cautious. I do not want to give Charles away.

  “Lilly,” Jeremy says softly. “Don’t worry. Charles has absolute immunity in anything he does or says. We’ve known each other long enough that I value his opinion. Sometimes—though not so often, anymore—I’ve gone to him for guidance. He knows how things run. He knows the things he can safely tell you. And the things he cannot.”

  “The ones he cannot?” I ask. “What are they?”

  Jeremy makes a dismissive gesture. “Minor things. Trivialities
, in the face of everything else that you already know. Don’t worry about betraying his confidence.”

  “Okay,” I say. “But first, how much did he know about me? Did he just stand idly by while you starved me in the sunroom?”

  I don’t mean the words to wound. Apparently they do. Jeremy pulls back—just a fraction of an inch. But it’s enough for me to notice.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “I shouldn’t have—”

  “No.” Jeremy cuts me off and shakes his head. “You should have, and you did. You have every right. You want honesty, Lilly, well here it is: It hurts me, now, to think of the things I subjected you to. My whole life revolves around living without regrets. I own my actions. I do not leave things up to chance. But all that I did to you? Those things, I regret.

  “And yet…” he steps into me, and brushes my cheek. “And yet, no matter how twisted it might seem, all of that was worth it, to me, to get us to this point. So I regret what I did—“ he gives a crooked smile, “—but not too much.”

  “I understand,” I say, putting my hand over his and leaning into his touch. “But it doesn’t mean I forgive you.”

  “No!” Jeremy all—but gasps. “You should never forgive me, Lilly. Not for what I’ve done. It is past redemption. I’m not so blind, nor so arrogant, to be unable to see that. What we have between us is tarnished by the past, yes, but it is the future that matters. It is the future that concerns me, because it is the only thing within our control.”

  “I love it when you speak like that,” I tell him. “So assertively. So full of passion. So pronounced and convinced of your every word. You are a spectacle to behold, Jeremy, and yes…” I turn away. “There’s so much I still don’t know.”

  “Then ask,” he says, following me back to the bed. “Because you’ve convinced me. Ask, and I will tell you the truth.”

  “Start with the most recent, then. Do you have a twin?”

  No hesitation. “Yes.”

  “Is he a doctor?”

  Again, no pause: “Yes.”

  “A real doctor?” I emphasize.

  Jeremy humors me with a smile. “Yes, he is.”