Our Song

by Savannah Kade

  After they reached altitude, even she got bored enough to fall asleep against the window. Almost immediately JD shook her awake, her head resting against his shoulder.

  It was barely noon in Vegas when they landed. Two hours later, they were in a rented mini-van and heading out of town. It rained on them on the drive up to Big Bear Lake, and she pointed out the sheets of water she could see falling through the mountains to the kids. But all three were already passed out cold.

  JD drove, eating up mountain road at a steady pace. He wasn’t inclined to stop or admire the scenery. She’d looked back over her shoulder into Vegas once as they’d left town, but the smog was more than she could stand to look at. She was finally glad she’d never been.

  The town of Big Bear was quaint with little gingerbread houses, and rows of motels and cabin clusters along the roadside. There was really only one main drag and the lake ran the whole length. JD handed her an email confirmation with the info for their cabin and a map that was printed on a legal-sized piece of paper.

  She directed them to a single cabin along a side street. When they woke the kids, all three snapped-to like they’d never been asleep. They all wanted to run screaming into the pool.

  Once JD assured her that it was heated and supposed to already be turned on and warm for them, she helped the kids change into their suits. JD brought in suitcase after suitcase, and sorted them between the rooms. He gave Kelsey and her kids the larger one and Andie took notice, begging to sleep in the same room with Daniel and Allie.

  Kelsey looked up at him, dripping in baggage, “I don’t mind.”

  “No.” His voice was harsh, and he continued with his luggage sorting. “You have all three kids all the time. They’ll never sleep if they’re all together. I . . .” He trailed off, shaking his head.

  Seeing that Andie desperately wanted to join her kids, Kelsey protested that he had paid for the whole thing, he should get to enjoy it.

  After a few minutes he asked her very politely to shut-up, were they going to argue about everything?

  She obliged, then made the kids wait while she climbed into her own suit. She’d packed her old one piece, after that comment about her jeans being too tight. She slipped into it, glad that it was black, even if it did have insets of sheer mesh.

  The kids went screaming out the back door and she followed them with an armload of towels. Daniel cannon-balled in, slipping back into his kid persona, for which she was grateful. Allie and Andie gingerly took the steps down but squealed in delight that it was warm and Kelsey should join them.

  She considered it, but the hot tub looked way too inviting to spend any time in the pool. She was more than happy to find that it, too, was already heated. Because the hot tub was in the far corner of the yard, she had a good view of JD walking out in his suit. Damn, but that man made the water around her boil hotter just by walking by. She was so screwed. He looked at her and she was sure it showed on her face. Luckily, he went right past and dove into the deep end of the pool.

  After they played for an hour, Kelsey scrubbed the chlorine off of them, and got everyone ready for an early dinner. When they got back in after eating they were all exhausted, and the kids promptly passed out. Kelsey and JD both begged off and went to bed not half an hour later.

  The next day JD took them out to ride the Alpine slides. Daniel was the only kid tall enough to go down by himself, and JD was the only one who’d ever ridden before. So after a quick explanation and a chairlift ride to the top of the mountain, Kelsey tucked Allie in front of her and tried not to hold the brake too tight. Her daughter yelled, “Faster!” the whole way.

  JD was waiting at the bottom with Daniel and Andie, laughing like a loon when they arrived. “I could hear her all the way down here.”

  He only laughed harder when Allie asked very politely if she could please ride with him next time, Mommy was just too slow.

  Kelsey put her hands on her hips. “It was my first time down. Fine, little traitor, go with him.”

  Andie was more than happy to ride with her, and for that Kelsey was grateful. She had decided to wear her sundress and she needed a kid sitting in front of her to keep from being indecent. They rode the chairlift behind JD and Daniel and Allie. Andie didn’t talk much on the way up, which was a good thing. Kelsey’s mind had wandered.

  Even though she had a clear view of his ass in jeans, that wasn’t what she was thinking about. It was that, even though she couldn’t hear anything, she could see that he was perfectly at ease with her kids. And just at ease with her having his kid. He talked to Allie, and nodded in response to her. JD easily talked Daniel through jumping off the lift and put his hands on Allie’s waist, lifting her out of harm’s way, but setting her feet down quickly enough that the little girl would feel like she’d done it herself.

  Kelsey’s heart squeezed. How could she not be in love with this man? She wasn’t going to get over it. That was just a big, fat, hairy lie that she’d been telling herself.

  JD was standing waiting for them, and lifted his daughter out of the seat, as though she was no heavier than an infant. He set Andie down, and turned back to Kelsey, “What’s wrong?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing.”

  He gave a tight nod, knowing that she wasn’t going to tell him, and stalked off. She thought about it the whole way down the slide, only partially paying attention to braking as she went into the turns. He wanted her to talk to him. But she just couldn’t make herself say the words that would destroy everything.

  Things eased up during lunch. Maybe JD had realized there were some things she wouldn’t tell him and he was learning to be okay with that. They actually laughed and got along while they ate, and the kids all had good behavior, so Kelsey got them bouncy balls out of the red-topped toy dispensers down the street.

  She was looking in the window at cowboy boots and hats, and it wasn’t but a minute before Andie joined her. The little girl looked up. “I never had any cowboy boots.”

  “Yeah? Neither have Daniel and Allie. I guess it seems kind of wrong to live in Nashville and not have a pair of cowboy boots.” She decided to buy Daniel and Allie some after they got back home. JD, however, had decided to buy some now.

  They all trailed into the store, Kelsey taking back the bouncy balls while they were shopping. But without the balls to occupy their hands the kids all wanted to try on boots. She let them while JD helped Andie into a pair that was brown and pink with silver buckles on the side. Andie was in heaven.

  Allie had chosen a red pair, and Daniel had gone after something that looked like he needed a Harley. But with the prices what they were, Kelsey just tucked the colors and styles and sizes away in her brain for birthdays. JD started trying on pairs for himself. Like he needed another pair.

  That was when Daniel brought her the purple and green snakeskin boots and insisted that they were exactly what she should have. Just to be silly, Kelsey agreed and tried them on.

  Eventually, the kids brought her a pair that she liked. Kelsey tried them on and admired them. Aside from the price tag they were perfect. But since the kids would have to wait until their birthdays, it would hardly be fair to buy herself a pair now.

  “Those look great.”

  JD had come up behind her in the full length mirror.

  “Yeah?” She turned a little bit. “I don’t think I’d wear them with this sundress, though.”

  “Why not? It looks sexy.”

  Her head snapped up. She couldn’t believe he’d said that.

  He instantly apologized. “I’m sorry. I suppose I gave away the right to say things like that.”

  Her heart pounded. “I guess.”

  “You tell me.”

  She still didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t good to have him telling her things like that. She’d fall into his arms so easily—so casually—but god if it wasn’t wonderful to hear. “I don’t know.”

  He looked away, standing in his second-skin jeans, boots in hand, and white socks on
his feet. “Tell me when you decide.”

  She nodded, but he didn’t see her. Kelsey unzipped the boots she had on and started calling for her kids.

  “Here, I’ll put them back.” He held out his hands for the pair she’d just stepped out of. “I’m going to get these,” he gestured to the masculine and utilitarian looking black pair hanging from his other hand, “And Andie’s. Do you mind corralling the kids while I check out?”

  She nodded, even as she removed the stuffed animal from Andie’s hands. “There’s an ice cream shop across the street, want to meet us there?”

  They ate ice cream, went swimming again, and ordered pizza in for dinner when it started to rain. JD took them out Bowling that night.

  The rain kept coming, making them run to the car, and get more than a little wet in the process. By the time they got back to the cabin, it had quit, and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. The kids protested being put to bed even though it was past ten. But as soon as they quieted down, they went right under.

  Taking a book with her, Kelsey turned on the lamp and curled up on the couch. She was two pages into the chapter she’d started when JD walked by in his bathing suit with a towel over his shoulder. “Come with me?”

  She shook her head. “It’s too cold to swim.”

  “Hot tub.” He smiled.

  The thought of being alone with JD, in the dark, in the hot tub, at night, with only the woods behind them . . . “The kids are in here.”

  “We’ll only be in the back yard.”

  Her heart pattered in her chest. But there was the problem. “I can’t.”

  Understanding, he nodded. “Come out if you change your mind.”

  She looked back down at her book but she didn’t see the words. They swam in front of her face, and even so she turned the page to look like she was reading, faking it until she heard the back door shut. Only then did she put the book down and let her breath suck in. Had that been a nearly blatant invitation to sex in the hot tub?

  She wasn’t certain, but her brain sure went there. She tried to shut it down, but couldn’t. Then she figured that maybe she shouldn’t. So she let herself imagine that she went outside in her bikini. That he kissed her and stroked her in all the right ways. That part of it she was sure of, he’d done it before. Her breathing sped up just thinking about it. But then she got to the part after it was over and he said something like, “thanks” or “God, I’m tired now, see you in the morning.” That was the part that kept her inside.

  Chapter 36

  It rained again the following morning, and they made their way out for brunch. In what seemed the pattern up here, it cleared up quickly, and they took the late morning boat tour for an hour and a half, which was about an hour too long for the kids.

  After a vote for fishing, they made a quick stop for bait then pulled out fold-up chairs and set up shop at the edge of a stocked pond. Despite horrible technique, Allie caught the first fish only half an hour in. The kids had no idea what to do. JD coached from the sidelines but Kelsey was pretty certain none of the kids was really listening to him.

  Eventually they got it into a bucket where JD pulled the hook out with a few fingers tucked under the gills and a quick flip of his wrist. He tried to hand the still wriggling fish off to Allie to hold it up for a photo. Allie squealed and refused, but posed with JD holding the fish for her.

  Kelsey caught the next one, but when Daniel caught another right on her heels, she wound up pulling her fish up by herself. All hands were helping the six-year-old. She managed to haul the silver devil up into the air, then clumsily swung him back where she could grab at his body. The whole time she was certain the line would snap and the fish would go flopping into the dirt. But instead she got a good grip around his middle and managed to drop him into the bucket.

  Overcome by an attack of the willies, she wiped her slimy fingers on her jeans, while she made faces.

  “Kelsey! What are you doing?” JD was beside her in a flash handing her a towel. “You’re ruining your jeans!”

  “Oh come on, these are the bad jeans.”

  “They’re great jeans. They look really good on you.”

  She tilted her head sideways and decided to call him on it. “Come on, JD, I heard you. They’re fishing jeans now.”

  “I—” He made a face and turned away, then he turned back. “Just tell me it’ll wash out.”

  She breathed deeply, and wiped her hands off on them again, her palms still felt wet and slimy. “They’ll wash off.”

  JD walked away to help the kids.

  Later, once the fish were iced and put away, Kelsey got the kids ready for dinner. “Okay, everyone, shoes.”

  “How about these?” JD hauled out a few stuffed bags from the stop the previous afternoon.

  Andie jumped up and down, “I can wear my boots?”

  Kelsey sent her own kids back into the room to grab their sneakers, but JD caught them as they went by and handed each child a box. Eyes went wide as Allie and Daniel opened the boxes to reveal the boots each had tried on the day before. They immediately plopped on their butts in front of him to get help pulling them on.

  Kelsey was almost mad. Her heart hurt. He had to quit being so great. “JD, you didn’t have to.”

  “I know. I wanted to.” He pushed little feet down into the boots and had all three kids showing them off in a moment. He turned back to Kelsey. “Now these aren’t the same sizes they tried on. The sales lady sent me back and suggested I get a full size larger than what fit, so they’d last longer.”

  Allie, at least, remembered to thank JD and launched herself at him. Kelsey thanked him, too, before heading back to fetch her own sandals. His arm snaked around her waist as she passed by. “I didn’t forget you.”

  He pulled out a huge box and opened it to reveal the butter-soft, stitched pair she’d tried on the day before. Her mouth hung open. “JD, these were expensive.”

  He pressed his lips together. “You’re welcome.”

  “Thank you. Oh, my god, thank you.”

  That at least made him smile. “You need help getting into them?”

  She laughed, thinking that having him handling her legs and zipping her boots would only cause more problems. “I think I’m okay.”

  When they were all ready, they traipsed the three feet out the front door to the car. Kelsey thought they looked touristy with all of them in their new boots. That was okay, they were tourists, and the kids were happy.

  Dinner was fabulous, and far more expensive than Kelsey would have chosen. When JD had gotten up to take Daniel to the bathroom, a nice woman came over and told Kelsey how lucky she was. That all three of her children were so well behaved. Then the woman added on what a handsome husband she had, too.

  That startled her, and she said ‘thank you’ without explaining that it wasn’t true. That they weren’t all three her kids, and he wasn’t her husband.

  “You okay?” He asked over his steak.

  The man was always sensitive to her moods, and it was really starting to piss her off. “I’m fine.”

  They hauled full, sleepy kids home after that, forced them to brush their teeth, and together went through the two rooms kissing foreheads and telling them to sleep well.

  Again JD emerged twenty minutes later, asking if she wanted to join him in the hot tub.

  Again, she refused.

  For dinner the next day, JD presented their catch, perfectly cooked. Each of the kids took one bite and made a face.

  “Catching them is fun,” Andie spoke up, refusing to take another bite. “Eating them is yucky.”

  JD ate piece after piece, the little bites disappearing into his mouth. Knowing how much he usually ate, Kelsey figured he was burning more calories than he consumed eating the tiny flakes he got.

  “Look guys, it’s good.” She took her own forkful of flaky trout and put it in her mouth. She was helpless to stop the grimace she made.

  “What?” JD was looking at her as if she were Judas
.

  “It’s fishy.”

  “Of course it’s fishy. It’s fish!” He ate another big bite to show them how good it was.

  “No.” She didn’t take another bite. “Tuna steak doesn’t taste like this. I’ve had Mahi Mahi and swordfish. They don’t taste like fish-smell.”

  He sighed, and set his fork down. “Those are deep sea fish. We’re on a man-made lake.”

  He looked at each kid one by one. Allie scrunched her nose. Daniel didn’t do anything, but he wasn’t touching that fish. Andie shook her head.

  JD conceded defeat. “Who wants to go get burgers?”

  Kelsey was fairly certain she was the first one up. She raced the kids to the car, stopping just long enough to throw the salad, uncovered, into the fridge. She hollered to Daniel to get the bread. Being Daniel, he carefully set it on the counter before bolting out the door. Kelsey didn’t care that they were all dressed for a backyard barbecue. She was in her cut-off jeans shorts with her new boots, and was grateful that her button-down shirt was reasonably presentable.

  By the time JD climbed in the car, the rest of them were buckled in and waiting with smiles on. Kelsey sought to console him. “It wasn’t how they were cooked. It was the fish.”

  “Uh-huh.” He started the engine. “Someone had to stay and double bag those fish, so that bears don’t wander into the backyard while we’re out.”

  Kelsey kept her mouth shut during the ride, and they all let JD pick the place. Kelsey almost groaned, the burger was so good.

  The kids wanted to swim after dinner, but Kelsey saw clouds gathering and decided maybe they could put the radio on and play a game. That way they could get inside quickly if need be.

  But the rain didn’t come, and they shuffled the kids off to bed a little while later. JD went into the kitchen to put his beloved fish down the garbage disposal piece by piece, so Kelsey made her way out to sit on the picnic bench and enjoy their next to last evening at the cabin.