Stolen Beginnings

by Susan Lewis

  When they’d left the restaurant they’d strolled back along Park Walk in Chelsea, ducking under branches that were weighed down with blossom – yes, it really was as romantic as that – and stopping every now and then to kiss. Their love-making that night was urgent, possessive and almost insatiable.

  They were still wrapped in each other’s arms, whispering and laughing quietly in the wake of such intensity, when a voice suddenly screeched: ‘You bastard!’ And Kathleen, all five feet nine inches of her, was standing in the room.

  Matthew shot out of bed, grabbing for his clothes, but Kathleen was on him, beating her fists on his back and knocking him to the floor. Then, before Stephanie could move, Kathleen had torn the sheet from the bed.

  ‘You slut!’ she screamed. ‘Can’t get a man of your own so you steal someone else’s. Well this is one man you won’t get!’ And she launched herself across the bed. Stephanie only just managed to roll out of the way, and fled to the other side of the room.

  Still naked, Matthew leapt to his feet and tried to pin his wife to the bed. ‘Stop it!’ he yelled. ‘Kathleen! Stop!’ But she threw him off and scrambled over the bed towards Stephanie.

  ‘I’m going to kill you, you whore!’

  Stephanie was backed into a corner and grabbed the nearest thing to hand – a china pig filled with coins.

  ‘No!’ Matthew vaulted over the bed. The china pig crashed to the floor and Kathleen grabbed Stephanie by the hair.

  Stephanie screamed and Kathleen went on shouting obscenities as she slapped and scratched at her naked body. The struggle seemed to go on for ever as Matthew fought to get a hold on his wife. When eventually he did he yelled for Stephanie to get out of the room.

  ‘I’m not leaving you in here with her, she’s mad!’ Stephanie yelled back. And again Kathleen lunged at her. But this time Matthew had a strong enough grip and spun her round, throwing her onto the bed.

  ‘How could you?’ Kathleen spat, looking up at them. ‘How could you do this, you bastard? You’ve got a sick daughter at home crying for her Daddy, and you’re out fucking around with that little scrubber! I always knew you were no good, you bitch! I told him . . .’

  ‘Shut up!’ Matthew roared. ‘What do you mean Samantha’s sick? What’s the matter with her?’

  ‘How the hell do I know? Even the doctor doesn’t know. And what do you care?’ She turned her face into the pillow and sobbed.

  He looked at Stephanie. ‘I’ll have to go,’ he said, quietly.

  ‘No!’ Kathleen howled. ‘You stay here. Stay with her.’

  ‘If Samantha’s ill then I’m coming home,’ Matthew said.

  ‘The only way you’re ever coming back into that house is if you swear to me now you’re never going to see that tart again.’ She drew herself up from the bed. ‘Go on, swear it! Because if you don’t, Matthew Cornwall, you can forget about that precious company of yours, you can forget about everything, because I’ll take you for every penny you’ve got. And you can say goodbye to your children at the same time.’

  Matthew’s face was pale and strained as he looked at Stephanie.

  ‘Swear it!’ Kathleen screamed. ‘Let her hear you. Let her know that she’s just another screw. Because, darling, that’s all you are. So go on, tell her!’

  ‘Did you bring the car?’ Matthew snapped.

  ‘Swear it!’ Kathleen was almost hysterical. ‘Tell her she’s just another tart.’

  ‘I said, did you bring the car?’ he shouted.

  ‘Make the choice, Matthew. Your daughter, your company, or her!’

  ‘There is no choice,’ he hissed, ‘and you know it!’

  Kathleen’s eyes gleamed with triumph. ‘Did you hear that?’ she spat at Stephanie. ‘There is no choice. So you can kiss goodbye to that cosy little future you’ve been planning. It’s none of it going to happen. I’ll wait five minutes,’ she told Matthew.

  She left then – the same way she’d come in, through the window Matthew had left open.

  As he dressed, Stephanie stood in the corner watching him. Neither of them spoke until he was ready to leave. And then she did something she had never, not even in her worst nightmares, dreamt she would be capable of; something that even if she lived to be a hundred, she would never forgive herself for. She threw herself to the floor, clutched her arms about his legs, and begged him to stay. ‘Don’t go,’ she sobbed. ‘Please, Matthew, don’t leave me.’

  He tried to pull her to her feet, but she wouldn’t let him.

  ‘She’s making you choose between me and Samantha. It’s not fair, Matthew. It’s just not fair.’

  ‘Stephanie, please, stop this,’ he groaned. ‘Please stand up.’

  ‘I can’t! I can’t until you tell me that I’m more important than Samantha. That what we have means more to you than your family.’ She waited, her cheek pressed against his knees, while tears streamed down her face. ‘Please!’ she screamed, as he prised her hands apart. ‘Please, Matthew, tell me! Say you’re coming back. Say you love me!’ She looked up into his face, but he couldn’t meet her eyes. ‘Matthew! Matthew, please!’ she begged, as slowly he turned and walked out the door. ‘She’s lying, Matthew! Can’t you see that? Samantha’s not ill – there’s nothing wrong with her. She’s just a spoiled girl crying for her own way. Matthew, please don’t leave me.’

  His telephone call had come the following night, telling her Samantha was in hospital with suspected meningitis.

  Neither of them said anything then, until she whispered: ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I said, Matthew. Do you think you can forgive me?’

  ‘Of course.’

  She braced herself then, not wanting to ask, but knowing she had to. ‘And what about us?’

  She waited, and finally he said the words that tore her heart to shreds. ‘I’m sorry, Stephanie. There can’t be any us.’

  Remembering those words now the great, hollow ache she’d carried with her since that night began to churn. She’d loved him so much that for a long time she hadn’t wanted to go on living. But she had, and it was only by making herself believe that one day he would come back to her that she had made it through. And now he’d left Kathleen. Six years later than he should have done. That’s what he’d said, and as she sank into a swamp of exhaustion she closed her eyes. The road she had travelled for so long had suddenly changed and she no longer knew where she was heading, or why.

  – 7 –

  ‘. . . and when I got back, they were gone. Both of them. There wasn’t even a note.’ Realising that she was gabbling, Marian took a deep breath and cast a look at Matthew. ‘Anyway, you don’t want to hear about that,’ she said. ‘It’s just that, being on my own, money started to get low again, and when Janey offered me two hundred pounds as a deposit I had to take it.’ She dabbed at her eyes and waited. It was the first time since Madeleine and Paul had left that she had actually talked to someone about it. But why him, she was asking herself, when he so obviously isn’t interested? She felt a sudden longing for Paul, and was again overwhelmed by the bleakness of her situation. ‘How could they have walked out on me like that?’ she whispered. Then realising she had spoken aloud, she turned her head away, embarrassed.

  Matthew watched her, ashamed of what he was thinking. She looked so awful that he could easily have walked out on her himself. Besides, he’d had a nightmare of a week, which was why he hadn’t got to see her until tonight. Even then he would have avoided it but for the fact that the music was driving him crazy.

  ‘Can’t you ask her to turn it down?’ he said lamely.

  ‘Don’t you think I’ve tried that? She just laughs.’

  ‘Then kick her out.’

  ‘She won’t go.’

  He sighed, and got up to answer the phone. He wouldn’t be having to bother with this at all if the film wasn’t overrunning. But now, thanks to a massive continuity error which had involved the recall of three frigates to the Bristol Channel, coupled with an alcoholic stupor which had seen h
is star in bed, in the bar, in the river even – anywhere except in front of the camera – he was stuck here for at least another week.

  It was Woody on the phone. Matthew waited until he’d finished, then said: ‘Woody, I don’t give a . . .’ He winced as Marian blew her nose, then started again. ‘Woody, you sort it out. It’s what you’re paid for. I know, I know. But I’m not coming down there again tonight. Just make sure she’s on that set at eight o’clock tomorrow morning.’ He listened, then groaned. ‘Why, Woody, did no one check the tide times before? Then you’d better be the one to explain to Richard Collins why we’ve lost yet another half day shoot.’ With that, he slammed down the receiver.

  Marian dragged herself to her feet. ‘I’m sorry. You’re busy . . . I’d better be going . . . At least you know now why . . .’

  ‘Sit down!’ Matthew barked. As he turned round, he almost burst out laughing at the look of horror on Marian’s face. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘It’s just that things aren’t going too well at the moment. Now, you were saying.’

  ‘I’d finished, actually.’

  ‘Oh.’

  There was an awkward silence.

  Marian sniffed. ‘About Paul. I don’t suppose you saw him before he left, by any chance?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Or Madeleine?’

  Matthew shook his head. ‘Don’t you have any idea where they might have gone?’

  Her eyes followed him as he sat down. ‘You’re assuming they’ve gone somewhere together, and I honestly don’t think . . . Well, I can’t imagine they’d have . . . They did go off together, didn’t they? You saw them. You can tell me, I won’t cause a scene, I promise.’

  ‘No, I didn’t see them. But I’d say it’s pretty obvious they’ve gone together. I mean, it’s a bit too much of a coincidence otherwise.’

  Marian’s mouth started to tremble. ‘Oh God, this is so awful. I’m sorry, but I don’t seem to be able to stop crying these days.’

  Saved by the doorbell, Matthew shot from his seat and closed the door behind him.

  ‘Hello, Matthew.’ It was Stephanie. His eyes widened, then after glancing over his shoulder, he looked at her again. ‘Are you just going to stand there gawping, or can I come in?’ she said.

  It was rare for Matthew to find himself at a loss, but for the moment he very definitely was. Since he’d last seen Stephanie he had thought about her a great deal, and what he’d been thinking had unsettled him more than he liked to admit. The truth was, he wanted to see her again as much as he wanted to do the film – but with a love-torn teenager sitting in his flat, and knowing Stephanie as he did, this was hardly the moment.

  ‘If it’s inconvenient I can always go away and come back again,’ Stephanie said in a tight voice.

  ‘No, no. Come in,’ he said, and throwing the door wide and himself into the lap of the gods, he stood back to let her pass.

  As they walked into the room Marian looked up. Her face was like a battlefield. Stephanie stopped in her tracks, then turned to Matthew; his eyes closed.

  ‘Obviously, I’m interrupting,’ she said, her voice coated with sarcasm. ‘So if you don’t mind . . .’

  ‘Stephanie, will you . . .’ He stopped himself in the nick of time. He was going to say look at her. ‘Will you just listen?’

  ‘No, thank you. I don’t know what goes on in your life these days, Matthew, but if you ask me, you get a kick out of screwing up women’s lives.’

  ‘Hold it right there!’ He grabbed her arm and spun her back to face Marian. ‘Stephanie, this is Marian. Marian, this is Stephanie. Now Marian, perhaps you would like to explain to Stephanie exactly why you are here, and I’ll go make us all a large drink.’ He pushed Stephanie into a chair and escaped into the kitchen.

  He gave them a full ten minutes, by which time he’d managed to run through every conceivable reason why Stephanie should have arrived unannounced like that. In the end he gave up. She would have to tell him herself, once he’d managed to get rid of the girl from upstairs.

  ‘I just wish they hadn’t gone off without saying a word,’ Marian was saying when he walked back into the room. ‘What do you think I should do? How can I find them?’

  ‘I shouldn’t think they want to be found,’ Matthew answered. ‘If they did, they’d have called you by now.’

  ‘Matthew!’ Stephanie was glaring at him. He rolled his eyes and handed her a drink. ‘For God’s sake, have some heart,’ she hissed as she took it. ‘Can’t you see how distressed the girl is?’

  His mouth twitched with amusement as Stephanie turned her attention back to Marian. ‘I think we’d better deal with the most immediate problem first,’ she said. ‘That is, how to get this Janey out of your flat.’

  Matthew looked at her with unrestrained enthusiasm. ‘Absolutely,’ he agreed.

  ‘You can deal with that, Matthew.’

  ‘I can?’

  ‘Well, you’re a man. The girl might listen to you. If she doesn’t, just pick up her things and dump them outside.’

  ‘And what about the landlord? Why can’t he do it?’

  ‘Because it’ll take far too long. No, you deal with the noisy tenant. Give her her two hundred pounds back – don’t look at me like that, you can afford it; give her the money and send her on her way. I’ll deal with the rest.’

  ‘Oh.’ He folded his arms. ‘I can’t wait to see how much this little rescue mission is going to cost you.’

  Stephanie shot him a look and turned back to Marian. ‘You say you haven’t got a job. Well, as it happens I’m in need of a secretary.’

  ‘You’ve got one!’

  Ignoring Matthew, Stephanie continued, ‘Can you type?’ Marian was stunned. ‘Well, can you?’ Marian nodded. ‘Shorthand?’ Again Marian nodded. ‘Good, that’s that settled. The salary’s fifteen thousand plus overtime and expenses. You can pay Matthew back as soon as you’re on your feet. I’ll give you a trial run of six weeks. If you’re not up to it, or you decide you don’t like me or the film world, then we’ll call it quits. How does that sound?’

  ‘Film world?’ Marian gasped, and then it dawned on her where she had seen Stephanie before. ‘You’re – you’re Stephanie Ryder, aren’t you?’ she said, suddenly overwhelmed by the company she was in.

  ‘She most certainly is,’ Matthew grinned.

  Again Stephanie threw him a look before continuing. ‘It’ll mean moving to London, of course,’ she said. ‘How would you feel about that?’

  Marian looked from one to the other of them, aghast that she should be sitting here, pouring her heart out to people like this. But then Stephanie smiled, and she felt a peculiar sensation stir in her heart.

  ‘Excuse me,’ she said, choking, and before she could disgrace herself any further, she ran from the room.

  As she sat on the edge of the bath, her arms clasped tightly about her body, she tried to sort her thoughts into a coherent pattern, but on a shelf above the basin Matthew’s razor seemed to mock her with a cruel reminder of all she had lost, and the tears she tried to force back scalded her eyes. Five weeks they’d been gone, and as each day passed she felt herself shrinking back into the person she’d thought never to be again. But now it was worse. She had never felt so alone, and never so afraid. Their treachery tore at her with talons so vicious that she cried out with the pain. Her sense of worth was gone; she loathed herself with all the passion that had once fuelled her love for Paul. They’d never come back, in her heart she knew it, but still she couldn’t reconcile herself to leaving the flat where she had once been so happy.

  After a while there was a knock on the door and Stephanie came in. ‘How are you feeling now?’ she asked.

  Marian had to swallow hard before she could answer, but even then her voice was hoarse. ‘Better, thank you. I’m sorry, I’m making such a fool of myself.’

  Stephanie sat down next to her and put an arm round her shoulders. ‘We’ve all been there,’ she said, ‘but there’s only one way out of it, and that
’s to try to get on with your life.’

  Marian nodded. ‘I’m trying,’ she smiled, ‘it’s just that sometimes . . .’

  ‘I know,’ Stephanie said, hugging her. ‘But if you’ll come to London it’ll help, I promise you. Here, you’re surrounded by all sorts of reminders of the past, and it’ll be almost impossible to forget. And you must put it behind you. It hurts to hear that, I know, but believe me, it’s the only way. And you’re young, you’ll fall in love again.’ When Marian turned to look at her, she laughed. ‘I know, you don’t want to. Neither did I.’

  ‘But did you?’ Marian asked.

  Stephanie breathed in deeply. ‘When I was your age, yes. I still remember when the first man I ever slept with dumped me; I thought the end of the world had come. I take it Paul was your first boyfriend?’

  Marian nodded. ‘But we never actually . . .’ She looked down at her hands and whispered, ‘I’m still a virgin.’

  ‘Oh, my darling,’ Stephanie said, ‘you don’t know how glad you’ll be of that one day. I know you love him now, but try to see him for what he really is. I mean, if he could do what he did to you, just think what he might do to Madeleine.’

  ‘Yes. But I don’t want Maddy to suffer like this. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.’

  ‘Then she’s a very lucky girl to have someone who loves her so much. Now, how about putting on a brave face and coming out for dinner with Matthew and me?’

  ‘Oh no! I mean, it’s very kind of you but I couldn’t.’

  ‘Oh yes, you could. After all, if you decide to take the job I’ve offered you, the three of us are going to be working on Disappearance together, so it’ll give us a chance to get to know one another a little.’ She stood up, and pulled Marian to her feet. ‘Pop upstairs and clean up if you like, we’ll leave in fifteen minutes. And Marian,’ she said as Marian was walking through the door, ‘things have a habit of working out in the end, you know. It just takes time.’