I’ve been to Vegas more times than I can remember, and each time, it’s the same. A complete assault on the senses. Vegas is unique. It’s layer upon layer of every type of sensory stimulation, visual, audio, taste, smell.
Vegas, she can be seductive, trashy, bold, crazy, and about every emotion rolled into one.
And Carlene’s reaction is right about as I would have predicted—a reserved curiosity.
“Wow, it’s insane,” is what she says as we drive down the strip to reach our hotel.
“It’s certainly is,” I agree.
We settle into yet another luxury suite. Only this one is decidedly bolder than the rest we’ve shared. And that is Vegas. Bigger, brighter, bolder than anywhere or anything else.
I race through showering and dressing while Carlene relaxes with a glass of wine and unpacks whatever she wants to. As she gets ready, I check my emails and voicemail.
A message from Patrick says everything is fine legally with Jayden. The news from Roxie is not so good. She’s had him come around drunk and making a dick of himself.
I move through into the sitting room and place a call to Roxie.
“Hey, Rome.”
“Hey Rox. What happened?”
I hear her let out a pissed off sigh. “Jayden showed up here a few hours ago, high as a kite and full of bad manners.”
“Fuck,” I snarl. “Little shit.”
A light chuckle comes through the phone. “I said much worse. He needs an attitude readjustment. Ungrateful, motherfucking…” Yep, he’s pissed Roxie off—a lot. If I let her get on a roll, she’ll bawl him out for days. She’s never been a fan, and on reflection, I have to agree with her. Certainly, in this case, she’s a better judge of character than me.
“I get the picture.”
“I just don’t get what you saw in him?”
I’d seen many things. I’d seen desperation, potential, an engaging warmth. Unfortunately for all his positive traits, there has turned out to be as many unsavory ones. Greed, disrespect, arrogance, are just a few which immediately spring to mind, particularly under the influence.
“Do I really need to answer that question, Rox?”
“Nope, I already know the answer. You saw a bit of you in him. But, let me tell you, Rome, he’s nothing like you.”
She’s right and wrong. Yes, I do see some similarities between us, for sure. I’ve also wanted to do something positive for Jayden. I figured it was my turn to return the favor and give a guy in a jam a leg up. Pay it forward or however it goes. Only now I fear, I’ve created a monster and taken his life down a path he’ll never recover from.
“No, he’s not.” My voice is quiet and tarnished with the guilt I feel.
“Anton was here, and he got rid of him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes back, though. He was looking for you. Said he wanted to talk about things.”
I wonder to his state of mind. I don’t think I could have been clearer as to how I felt in our last conversation.
“I’ll be home soon, and I’ll meet with him then, if he wants.”
“Why would you bother? You don’t owe him anything?” The tone of her voice says it all. She thinks I’m an idiot for even trying.
“You’re right. I don’t owe him anything, but I still feel responsible. I introduced him to the path he’s on.”
“Yeah, and he was too fucking greedy and stupid to make it work…” she says it more to herself than me.
“That’s probably true but still...”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. But he doesn’t deserve you, Rome. No one else would give a flying fuck about him.”
“That maybe so, but it doesn’t make it right.”
“Whatever, as long as you can sleep at night.”
“Exactly.”
“Speaking of sleeping at night, how are things going with your Aussie?”
“Fine.” My voice sounds stiff and sharp even to me.
“That good? What happened? I thought she was the dream client from what you’d said.”
“She is…” I’d just gone and broken all the rules.
Roxie is silent for a moment. Then I hear her sharp intake of breath.
“Ahh fuck, you’ve gone and fallen in love with her, haven’t you?” Her whispered voice echoes around me with shock.
God, the woman knows me too well.
“Don’t be stupid. I know the rules.” My answer is automatic and one I’ve given and received thousands of times.
“It was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“I’m not in love with Carlene. We’re friends, nothing more.”
She lets out a cynical laugh. “Just admit the truth, Rome. Friends in this game might as well have the same distinction as a long-term relationship in any other life. We don’t do friends.”
“None of it matters. I’ll be dropping her at the airport in a few days, and she’ll be heading back home to Australia.”
“If you say so.”
I can imagine the skeptical, smug look on her face as she said that. Fantastic, I now have Roxie up in my business to look forward to when my time with Oz is up.
I hear the hairdryer switch off in the bathroom. Carlene is almost finished getting ready, and I’m done with Roxie picking apart my fragile sanity.
“I do say so. Look, I’ve got to go. We’re heading out in a few moments, and I’ve a couple of things to do.”
“Okay, I’ll let you go.”
“Thanks, Rox. I’ll talk to you soon.”
I’m about to remove the phone from my ear when I hear her.
“Sooner or later, it happens to us all, Rome.”
I swipe the call away. I don’t want to know or hear more, least of all acknowledge her words.
In just a moment, I have to step back into character and play the perfect gentleman. Why does a persona I previously wore like a cloak, suddenly feel like a leaden weight around my shoulders?
Chapter 21
Carlene
As I take a shower, I school myself on enjoying the night. My time in the United States is dwindling fast, just as fast as my time with Rome.
Don’t think about it, Carlene.
Make tonight special. Live it up.
Vegas, Carlene. Sin City. Crazy Town.
These are all the things I tell myself, try to convince myself of, as I finish getting ready to head out for an adventurous night in Vegas.
Rome mentioned he had everything planned, and I believe him. One thing the man can do in spades is show a lady a good time, and tonight, I’m determined to have a very good time. I’ll just lock away those pesky feelings and stupid fairytale dreams.
It will never work, Carlene.
The little voice in my head kept saying. Then why is my annoying heart telling me otherwise?
This is obviously my modus operandi where my heart and attractive men are concerned. I’m right back at the beginning—the stupid, giddy teenage girl who threw herself at Phillip. Five minutes later and bang, I was pregnant, and the next twenty odd years slipped by as his wife and the mother of his children.
I can see myself doing it again if I’m not careful, and I should know a damned sight better. If I let my guard down and really let myself feel, I just know how wrecked I’ll be. I could so easily love him. Maybe I already do?
Don’t be stupid, Carlene!
Listen to the voices in your head, I try to convince myself again, even though my heart is stamping her foot and pouting.
I don’t need a man. I’ve survived eighteen months without one. And I’ve been as lonely as a school, during school holidays or a cattle station with the kids away at boarding school. Empty, deserted. Waiting for the laughter and the joy to return.
Then I realize something—I like being part of a unit. Part of a whole—something bigger than me. My time with Rome has felt right.
Is it wrong to need another person to feel complete?
I finish fixing my hair and push all those soul-stripping thoughts to the side. Now is not the
time or the place to be sifting through them. Not when I have a night to enjoy. There’ll be time for all this reflection when I get home, back to my lonely reality.
A final glance in the mirror assures me I look about as put together as I can. I’m never going to be a beauty queen, and I’m not about to start trying to be at my age.
Rome doesn’t seem to mind.
And there it is again.
Every thought I have seems to come back to Rome. He’s fast become the center of my universe during the trip, and a pang of fear strikes my gut. How on Earth am I going to cope when I go back to just being me again?
I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
With one last calming breath, I straighten my shoulders and head out from behind the closed door of the bathroom. True to form, Rome looks spectacularly handsome.
Tonight, he’s selected a slim fitting pair of dark trousers and a royal blue shirt with just a hint of a sheen to it. Enough to make the material look rich and refined but not over the top or ostentatious. His hair is slickly styled back.
I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s more the overwhelming effect he has on me every time I see him. My stomach gets a little jumpy, and my blood seems to run faster. It’s as if every nerve in my body is alert to him being in my presence. Waiting, just waiting for him to touch me, talk to me, just be with me.
You’re just enjoying having someone pay attention to you, Carlene. Not real. You’re just desperate for someone to end the lonely.
Arhhh…why won’t the voices in my head shut up already?
Rome glances up from his phone as soon as he hears me enter the room. The phone goes back into his pocket, and he stands. His eyes meet mine, in what feels like a caress of longing. Is it true?
“You look beautiful, Oz. I thought I loved you in that scarlet dress the other night. Now I’m not so sure. The emerald green of your top is stunning and sets off your eyes. Those tight pants hug you in all my favorite places.”
I make my way across the room to him, and he immediately draws me in for a light kiss to the lips. The time his lips spend on mine may be fleeting, but the intensity is anything but.
“You’re a charmer, Rome.” My brain moves to add his last name to my statement, only to realize I don’t have the first clue as to what it is. How weird is that? How can this be? And aren’t the blank pages and glossed over words, really the theme of our whole story?
We’ve shared some of the most amazing and terrifyingly intimate moments. We’ve shared secrets and some hard to talk about times in our lives, yet I still don’t know his last name, and at this point, I figure it’s best to keep it that way.
It’s the way it’s supposed to be.
As he said, it’s all part of the rules of the game.
Then why does it leave me with an aching hole in my heart and a lingering sadness I can’t shake, even with all the good that has been coming my way?
He slips an arm around my waist and guides me to the door. I snag my clutch purse from the side table, and we pause at the door as he reaches for it.
I could swear I see a matching pain to my own flick through his eyes. Guess he’s playing by the rules as well, and a big part of me wishes he wouldn’t even though he’s doing exactly as I insisted. How messed up am I?
Pull it together, Carlene.
Tonight, is about crazy wild fun.
It’s Vegas. Fun capital of the world, supposedly.
As he guides me through the door, his words remind me of what I need to hear, our theme for the night. “Okay, let’s go and paint the town red and screw the hangover tomorrow. We’re going to have an awesome night. We can do anything we want to do.”
My mood lightens, and excited energy zings through me. The shamelessly sexy wink he throws my way certainly doesn’t hurt. Nor does the way he grabs the cheek of my butt in a way that’s delightfully possessive. At least he’s mine for the moment.
And I truly believe his words. Everything he’s promised me so far has come true.
Then why won’t I trust him with more?
It’s my pesky heart screaming again.
We head down the corridor to the lifts and are fortunate to get one straight away. As we stand there in the lift, with our hands laced together, he leans over and whispers to me, “I’m not going to mess you up now. But, I can’t make the same promise for later in the night. Ever got naughty in an elevator before?”
Heat floods to my cheeks and throat, but I do my best to keep things under control. “Can’t say I have. There’s not a lot of lifts out where I come from. Although the building I live in now, that’s a different story.” I give him a suggestive sideways glance. Now with Rome, I can see myself getting naughty in a lift. If you’d asked me two weeks ago, I would have laughed myself silly at the absurdity of the suggestion.
“You’re killing me here, Oz. You know how I mentioned I didn’t really have any unfulfilled fantasies.” I tilt my chin up to him a little and nod. “Well, I’ve suddenly got a hell of a lot of ideas about elevators threatening to morph into fantasies.”
I can only imagine what those ideas might run to. More than once, I’ve also wondered just how Rome would be with me if he wasn’t “working.” If it were real, would he be the same guy? Would he be the same in the bedroom? What does he truly like? He’s been doing this for such a long time now. Does he even remember what he likes? What makes him truly happy and content?
“I’m not sure what to say to that, Rome.”
He leans over closer to me again and breathes against my neck, “Does the idea of having sex in a public place excite you, Carlene? The chance of getting caught?”
I don’t know if it’s his voice or the sensation of his hot breath on my neck, regardless, the lift suddenly seems so small and hot. My nipples are super-sensitized and my pussy—yes, my pussy—is twitching with excitement at every one of his dangerous words.
The lift eases to a halt, and the doors peel open, and we’re engulfed in the all the sights and sounds of the casino floor. As we step from the lift, a bell starts to ring, lights flash, and a woman starts shrieking. It could only mean one thing—she’s won big.
A crowd of people are quickly forming around her, and my curiosity is running high. How much has she won?
People are jumping up and down. Their voices fill the air with shrieks and whoops of excitement. I don’t know what it is, but nobody does excitement and cheering like Americans. The women in particular, can shriek and holler with a pitch I’d never be able to achieve—it’s infectious.
Like a moth to a flame, I’m sucked in too. Before I know it, I’m crossing the distance to find out how much she’s won.
The crowd is too thick. I can’t see the payout screen. “Rome, how much has she won on the pokies?”
He stands up on tip toe and looks over the crowd, stretching to see the readout through the sea of heads.
“Sixty-eight thousand, and what did you say about poking?” He’s yelling in my ear to be heard over the din of the gathered crowd, a mischievous look in his eyes.
“I didn’t say anything about poking. I was talking about the pokies.”
“I don’t get it?” His eyes narrow in confusion, and a cute little frown creases his forehead.
“The slot machines, we call them pokies back home.”
He roars with laughter, and a few people look our way. “I knew there was a reason I loved Aussies. Always up for a good poking.”
I don’t even try to curtail my little snort of laughter. Instead, I use it to segue into an attempt at flirting. “Well, I guess it depends who’s doing the poking?”
“Definitely,” he agrees and lightly nips at my ear playfully. “But explain the pokie bit?”
This time, I don’t even try to check my laughter. “In Australia, we call them poker machines, not slot machines. And, as you know, we shorten everything because, well, we can and just do. So, pokies, it is!”
And that’s about the best explanation I can come up with.
“Love it! Only you Aussies.”
“Isn’t that the truth.”
“I can only imagine what else you shorten and change.”
“It’s a long and extensive list. A list so long, I’d have no hope of ever explaining them all.”
“I guess I’ll just have to head on down under and see for myself.”
I stiffen at his words. Is he joking or for real?
“Do you mean it, or are you just saying it? Because if you don’t mean it, don’t say it. I wouldn’t want to hope.”
The words are out of my mouth before I even realize it. I’ve been telling myself not to go there and then I go and do it not ten minutes into the night.
He looks into my eyes with gentle eyes. “I’ll get there one day. Hopefully, one day soon.”
I read honesty, and in the moment, I really think Rome means what he’s saying. I’m not going to hope or place too much certainty on his words. People have the best intentions all the time. Few follow through on them.
The crowd and the crazy have died down a little.
“Want to go see if we can win a little on the tables?”
“Sure, sounds like fun. But I need to warn you, I know nothing about playing casino games.”
“A casino virgin. Perfect, I can corrupt you to all my strategies.” His emphasis on the word virgin turns it sexual. It’s all one big tease.
“I didn’t realize there was so many things I was a virgin at until I came over here.” I catch myself flirting right back at him. I know how tonight is going to end, and I can barely wait. There’s a big part of me wanting to suggest we head straight back to the room now, but somehow, I get the feeling the wait, the crazy build up, will make it even better.
“And I’ve had so much fun popping your cherry. This won’t be any different.”
Rome
I lead her away from the impromptu celebrations and deep into the casino floor. We pause at a few different tables, and I take my time explaining the rules and strategies of the various games.
Finally, we stop at the roulette wheel. Roulette is easy. You don’t have to be majorly skilled to play, plus it’s a good game for beginners, because it doesn’t move too quickly. I pass some cash across to the dealer, and she pushes a stack of chips across the table at me with a warm smile. She’s a tall brunette with curves in all the right places and a face capable of making a man stop and take a second glance. The effect she has on men is not something she’s unaware of.
When With Rome (Perfect Gentlemen Book 1) Page 25
