“Well, I just wanted to introduce you to her, not delve into her deep dark heart,” he said in a doom and gloom voice. I laugh as I elbow him, remembering how I had once referred to my heart as black. I look back to Helena, she smiles as she closes her eyes. When she opens them Buddy is standing beside the bed, holding her IV free hand.
“We should go, let you sleep. I’ll be back soon auntie,” he whispers as she closes her eyes again.
“I love you Willem, protect your heart, protect Scarlett, she is the one, you have chosen well. The Chauderon elders approve,” she said as Buddy glanced at me, gesturing for the door.
“Oh Willem. Come here,” she asks him. He walks over as I wait by the door.
“Willem, she loves you but she’ll fly away and you will have to let her go, it will be the only way to protect her,” she warns him. I know I wasn’t meant to hear her, but I do. I hold my breath as I walk out of the room. Standing in the hallway, I rest my head against the cold cement wall and gasp. It’s not fair, I don’t want to fly away from him. I won’t. I feel Buddy’s hands on my shoulders. I turn quickly and hold him as close to me as I possibly can. I feel him wrap his arms around me, holding me firmly against him. He knows it to be true. I have so many questions for him but I just can't seem to ask. I don't want to know the answers right now, I just want to be with him and forget the world. I don't want to know who Levana is or who the Chauderon elders are. I don't want to know why Will has to protect me. I don't want to know why Will has chosen me or why Calvin thought I was carrying a son. I don't want to know why he wanted to kill it. I just want to be lost in Will and lost in the smoke he offers me.
The next day, after lunch he tells me he wants to take me to one of his favorite places in the city. I’m excited to be learning something new about the man I love. He holds the car door open for me as I get in. He has spiked his hair for the first time since I’ve been back here and his whole look excites me. He turns on the stereo, playing ‘So Alive’. I roll down the window as he drives through the city. He pulls into a park. It’s nice to hear the birds sing and see the trees. We get out and he takes my hand, leading me towards what looks like an obstacle course. I read a sign and realize this was set up by the military to train recruits. Buddy climbs up a wall within seconds. I see him grip onto a rope and swing across to a platform on the other side. I had no idea he was so athletic. When he swings back down to me, he’s smiling. I love watching him play.
“Come give it a try Scar,” he orders. I reach for the rope as I try and climb the wall, with no success. I don’t have much arm strength. I walk along the sand surrounding the course as I watch Buddy breeze through it with ease. He makes his way back to me. He is sweating now and his muscles are flexed. I hold onto him as he swings me around.
“Come on, I’ll bring you to something you can climb,” he said with a laugh. We end up in front of a children’s playground. I laugh as I punch his arm. “Thanks,” I say sarcastically. I climb up the monkey bars anyway and sit on top, looking out over the lake. A radio somewhere in the distance plays Alphaville, ‘Forever Young’ stopping me in my tracks.
In this moment I knew I would live forever if I was with Will. At this moment, nothing mattered anymore. I let go of it all as I hung upside on the monkey bars, just like the kids we still were, the kids we never really had a chance to be. Him with his chains and scars, me with my army boots and fishnet stockings, we just let all the pain and all the confusion go. We laugh as we climb across the cold metal ladder, jumping down into the sand together. I realize that in this moment there are no goodbyes, no endings, no partings, no death. The sun is beginning to set as we stretch out across the top of a picnic table and light a smoke. He’s holding my hand, like he always does. I slide closer to him, enjoying the sunset, never wanting it to set, never wanting this moment, this time to end.
CHAPTER TEN
Sitting on the dark blue carpet in his musty, smoke filled basement apartment I watch Buddy as he picks up his knife and a piece of rope. He reaches for a lighter, and an ashtray and a few pieces of newspaper. He looks over at me, with his serious, searching eyes and holds his hand out for me. I slowly place it in his and he drags me towards him. He positions me in front of him. I’m sitting on my legs as he takes hold of my wrist, not saying anything, he wraps the rope around it, making a circle. Once he’s satisfied with the measurement he cuts the rope. He does the same to his own wrist.
“What are you doing?” I ask nervously, watching him light the paper in the ashtray. Holding both ends of the rope in the fire until they start to melt. He quickly grabs my wrist again, then wraps the rope around it, holding the melted ends tightly together. My eyes lock on his, my heart beating fast.
“I’m making you mine. As long as you wear this rope you will always be mine. I’ll have one too. You can’t just take it off or put it back on so easily. It’s more permanent, like the rope you have around my heart,” he said before releasing me. I run my fingers over the singed ends, now firmly attached together. I held the edges of his rope around his wrist as he looked into my eyes.
“Kiss me,” he whispers. I lean towards him, still holding the rope as I kiss him, tasting him, licking his lips then allowing his tongue to enter my mouth. My heart is beating faster as I release the rope and he runs his hands over my hips, moving me to the floor. I feel my breath picking up. I know this sensation now as he brings me to that place I love. That place where all my senses are activated and all I want is his body over mine. He’s looking into my eyes as I shudder. He loves watching me squirm, as I resist holding back and just sink into the pleasure.
“Hungry?” he asked me as I ran my fingers over the rope on my wrist again. I nod as I reach for his arm draped over me. I examine his rope, it’s just as connected as mine.
“I love you Willem,” I tell him. He rolls me over to look at me. He’s staring at me with his serious blue eyes. “I love you Scarlett,” he replies as he lays on top of me, holding my wrist tightly. I see pain in his eyes.
I follow him upstairs. He opens a few cupboards and grabs a few plates. I look around the room as he prepares sandwiches. I notice there are a lot of herbs hanging upside down from the ceiling to dry. I catch the scent and breath it in. There's something about it that seems familiar, like the soap and the smoke. I notice the pictures of the soldiers again. I am drawn to them. The men in the photos look like Will and they seem to be calling me to them.
“He died five years ago in Beirut,” I hear a woman’s voice behind me. I turn startled.
“You must be Scarlett Rayne. It’s nice to finally meet you. I'm Levana,” she introduced herself as she walked towards me. I remembered Helena mentioning that Levana didn't approve of me.
“Hi, it is nice to meet you too,” I said, feeling incredibly nervous. I wonder if she knew I was here last year. She answers my unasked question.
“Willem missed you last summer, it’s nice that you decided to return to him,” she said with a slight sarcastic tone.
“Mother, are you hungry? Can I make you something?” he interrupts her.
“No thank you darling,” she said as she turns from me and walks to a table covered in beautiful decanters, similar to my father's. I’m surprised I didn’t see them when I first entered the room. I watch her as she pours herself a drink. She smiles at Will then glances back at the photos on the wall.
“That is my Matty,” she informs me, pointing at another photo of a young man in uniform hanging on the wall. I hear her pour another drink as I look at the boy.
“He died in the Persian Gulf. They told me it was an accident,” she said. He’s lost his father and his older brother. Why didn’t he tell me? I can’t take my eyes from the photo of his brother. I sense his mother close behind me.
“Well the authorities tell me they are dead,” she said with a slight snort.
“I'm sorry,” I turn to her. She looks into my eyes, searching just like Helena did but I don't feel the same attachment. She quickly turns away fro
m me, as if she didn't like what she saw in them. I try to stand my ground, I can't shrink in front of her.
“Well, they have lived through bigger wars, the Civil War, both world wars, so am I really supposed to believe they died in these little battles,” she said, winking at me. I turn from her and look back at the photo of his brother. I wonder if she's joking or might actually be crazy, I mean there is no possible way either of them could have been in those battles. I feel her breath on my neck. She is standing close behind me. I'm too frightened to move.
“I love my sons,” I hear her whisper, smelling the alcohol swirling around me. I turn to her as I gulp. She frightens me and she knows it. She looks at me sternly then a smile slowly creeps across her face.
“Did Will mention to you that he has a scholarship to claim this fall and did he tell you that if he doesn’t claim it before he turns twenty one it will expire?” she asked, turning away from me.
“No, he didn’t,” I mumble as she walks out of the kitchen.
“Nice meeting you Scarlett Rayne Jones,” I hear her say before she walks down the hallway. I stand in silence until the sound of her footsteps fade. I know Buddy has stopped moving too. He’s standing at the counter, just staring at the knife in front of him. I bite my lip as I slowly walk towards him. I stand behind him as I wrap my arms around his chest, gently kissing his shoulders. He turns to me and hugs me, gripping me, his fingers digging into my flesh. I feel him tremble. Please don’t cry. I can’t bear to watch him in so much pain. A pain he hid from me even though I saw his scars.
“Let’s eat downstairs,” he whispers, releasing me. I nod following him back down.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“Where are you going to go to school?” I asked him after lighting a smoke.
“I’m not,” he quickly replied. I know I’m going to have to be a little more forceful to get him to talk to me about this.
“But you have a scholarship,” I continued.
“I’ve had that scholarship for two years,” he tells me.
“When did you graduate high school?” I’m still not sure how old he is.
“What does it matter Scarlett, so I’m turning twenty one or a hundred and twenty one, you’re turning eighteen. It’s no big deal, age does not matter to me,” he shouts, surprising me.
“I don’t care about our ages either Buddy and you look great for a hundred and twenty one,” I laugh, trying to lighten the mood. He grins.
“I care about you,” I said a little more seriously, kneeling in front of him.
“I know what you’re thinking, so stop,” he demands.
“Is it because of me that you didn’t go to college last September?” I asked.
“No Scarlett, I missed you but it is not because of you,” he confessed.
“Your mother seems to think I might be holding you back now,” I whisper as I inhale.
“You are not holding me back Scarlett,” he said as he opened a beer. I don’t like beer but I really need a drink. I stand up and search for a bottle. I smile as I spot a vodka bottle and open it. I stand in the middle of the room and take a few sips. Buddy is watching me as I twirl around the room. I take a few more sips before I feel his arms wrap around me. I wipe my tears away as he kisses me. I don’t want to think about reality. I don’t want to be sober. I don’t want to leave him.
I awoke the next morning to muffled voices. Buddy was talking to someone upstairs, by the door. I slowly sat up as my head was spinning from overindulging last night. I walked to the bottom of the stairs, standing just out of view.
“You have to call the administration this week Willem. Time is almost up. If you don’t go what do you plan on doing for the rest of your life? Dealing drugs? That almost got you put in jail last year. If it wasn’t for your family you’d be behind bars now, but that support will run out. Call them and tell them you’ll be there September first. I’ve told them you will be and I’ve arranged for your room. It’s a single so you won’t have to share with anyone. I know you can do this Will. It’s time to get on with your life. It’s what your father would have wanted,” I heard a man explaining to Will.
“Okay Giles, I’ll call. I’ll be there September first,” I heard Will tell him. My heart sunk. I have to leave now. I can’t go with him and I can’t stay here. I have to go home. I have to go back to school too.
“Can you call them while I’m here, I have to know your going,” the man suggested cautiously.
“Sure, okay, but upstairs,” Will tells him. I slid down onto the floor and lit a smoke. This is going to kill me. I have to prepare somehow for this. I hear them at the door again.
“You’ve made the right choice Will. I’ll be in touch before we head down,” Giles said. I stood up and walked into the bathroom. I scrubbed my face and brushed my teeth. I heard a knock on the door, taking a deep breath I opened it. Buddy looked tired, as he stood in front of me. I smiled as I wrapped my arms around him.
“Can I wash you?” he asked with just a hint of that grin I’m in love with. I kiss him as he walks in, reaching for me.
Standing in the warm water with his arms wrapped around me, I’m enjoying the afterglow of his touch. I’m going to remember these showers for the rest of my life.
“Let’s go out tonight Scarlett,” he suggests as I put on my army green shorts, black spiked belt and my Sid tee shirt. “Sure, where do you want to go?” I ask.
“I think we’ll go to a show downtown. I’ll call around to see who’s playing,” he tells me as he picks me up and twirls me around. Denial seems to be our choice in dealing with the fact that he has to take me home soon.
The bus is full when we hop on. Buddy holds on to the pole and I hold onto him. I like it when the bus stops and I have to lean hard into him. I can feel his thigh behind me, I’m excited as I place my hands under his shirt, holding tightly onto him. When we step off the bus he takes my hand and we walk towards the club.
“My friend is waiting around back, he’ll let us in,” he informs me. I follow him closely. Will knocks on an unmarked door and it swings open. There are two guys with spiked hair, dressed in black and chains dangling from their studded belts. If Buddy wasn’t with me I think I’d be frightened of these two.
“Hey man, what do you got for us tonight Bud?” one of them asked as we entered.
“I've got what you need Des,” Buddy replies as I stand back from them. I let him finish as I turned my gaze to the hall. I hear two people arguing loudly. I began to feel uncomfortable here, but Buddy grabs my hand and pulls me towards the angry voices. As we began to get closer I start to hold back, I knew something wasn't right, we were in danger.
When Buddy turned to urge me along a gun was suddenly fired. I scream when Buddy tackles me to the ground. I frantically call his name as people run past us. He finally looks down at me below him, then grabs my waist, hoisting me up over his shoulder and runs out of the club with me. I’m silently thanking God that he wasn’t shot. He sets me down when we are across the street from the club and starts to look around. I can hear sirens coming towards us.
“I have to get out of here. Come on, walk casually with me,” he orders as I reach for his hand. He takes me down an alley and we end up on another street. I’m shaking after what just happened. Buddy doesn’t want to talk yet. He seems tense as we wait by the bus stop. Just as I see the bus coming two guys jump at Buddy. One of them is holding him down while another guy begins punching and kicking him.
“Help,” I shout. I’m so scared. I know I can’t stop them on my own. In my distress I begin to push the guy away that’s holding Buddy down. I hear Buddy shout at me to run. The guy finally releases him and turns to me. I watch as Buddy tries to stand but falls back down. As I’m watching Buddy the guy continues to walk towards me. I stand there, so scared as I shake my head.
“Hey, what a pretty little spitfire you are. Wouldn’t I like to get to know you a little better,” he slurred. I glanced back towards Buddy. The other attacker was going throug
h his pockets as Will laid on the sidewalk.
“Just go, take what you attacked him for and go,” I spat at him. I saw a few people across the street watching but not coming forward to help.
“I’d like to take what I want,” he smirked as he disgustingly put a finger in his mouth. I could hear Buddy moaning. I have to help him. I take a step towards him when I feel the guy grab my elbow.
“Not so fast darlin’,” he warned as he swung me into him. I look into his eyes, determined not to show my fear. A familiar sense of strength seemed to be boiling in my blood, like the time my father attacked me. I stared into this man's eyes, watching them go black. His grip seemed to loosen.
“Let me go,” I ordered. He sighed as his hand released my elbow.
“Maybe another time then little witch,” he sneered. I heard sirens approaching. The two men disappeared as I knelt down beside Buddy. I tried to hide the fact that I was checking his pockets, to make sure there weren't any drugs left in them. I’m pretty sure the guy took it all. I found a couple of joints and threw them out onto the road. Cars had driven over them before the police finally pulled up. I’m holding Buddy’s head in my lap when they come over to us. An ambulance pulls up behind them.
“Hi Miss, I’m going to have to ask you to step back,” the officer orders. I have tears running down my cheeks. I nod as I kiss Buddy before standing up. I wipe his blood from my face as I watch him being put into the ambulance.
“Can I go with him?” I ask. The two police officers are busy talking to witnesses, ignoring me.
“Why aren’t you talking to me?” I shouted in frustration. One of them finally turned and walked quickly towards me.
“OK, why don’t you tell us what happened?”
“We were standing here, talking, waiting for the bus when two guys came out of nowhere and just started beating him up,” I told them. “They were dressed in black jeans and black hoodies.”
Scarlett's Will Page 9
