by Aya Mai
Doctor John Black was a fantastic doctor that always kindly put up with Ava’s hypochondriac tendencies. She was just so scared to get sick, and this time she knew it was bad. If only she had discovered the lump sooner. If only she hadn't been so caught up in Grayson and all their dates and sex-marathons. If only.
As soon as Ava got off the phone with her doctor, she dried her eyes and got in the shower. The elderly doctor had been so kind as to make time for her as soon as she came in. She dialed Elaine's number to tell her she would be running late. Elaine was a lifesaver and said she had it covered, holding down the fort until Ava got to the office.
The drive to the doctor’s office went painfully slow. Ava was forced to put her phone on vibrate because Grayson kept calling her. She still hadn’t listened to his voicemails or read his texts. She couldn’t deal with him right now.
One problem at a time.
Doctor Black’s office was a standard doctor’s office - white, cold, and a bit scary. Ava had spent enough hours in hospitals and doctors’ offices to not like them one bit. They were reminders of painful times. Reminders of sickness and death and her dad’s beaten spirit.
The elderly doctor sat down behind his desk after he was done with the examination of her breasts. He remained quiet while pounding away on the keyboard. Each time he hit a key, it sounded like a loud explosion in Ava’s head.
When Doctor Black finally turned around to face her, his glasses perched on his nose, she knew just by looking at him and his frown what his verdict was going to be.
Cancer.
Black dots blurred her vision, her breathing turning ragged and uneven. She took the glass of water the doctor handed to her, trying to concentrate on his calming words.
‘’It’s going to be okay, Ava. Everything is going to be okay. You are going to be okay.’’
Ava focused on those sentences, trying to make herself believe them. She wanted to crawl together in a fetal position and never untangle again. She wanted to punch something or someone. Maybe Grayson Montgomery. He was the reason why she had been unfocused, why she had forgotten to check her body for signs of sickness. He was the problem. Her stupid feelings for him was the problem.
‘’Feeling better?’’ the doctor asked her.
Ava wasn’t feeling any better, but she nodded and focused on the sympathetic look on the doctor’s face. She wasn’t feeling better at all, but she needed to pull herself together and listen to what Doctor Black had to say.
‘’I feel a lump in your breast that is not supposed to be there, Ava. I’ve already made you a reservation at the hospital. I know someone, a radiologist, at Grace Memorial Hospital who can do the necessary examinations and a needle biopsy later today. Hopefully, we’ll have the test results before the end of the week. I want you to stay positive, Ava. It’s not certain it’s cancer; it may just be a lump.’’
‘’But? There’s always a but?’’
‘’But taking your medical history and your family’s medical history into account, if I were you, I would prepare myself for some bad news.’’
Ava nodded soundlessly, her eyes welling with tears. She knew this would happen. She spent her entire adult life waiting to get sick again. She just knew it would come back. She knew cancer would be the death of her.
****
After Doctor Black’s news, Ava called Elaine, telling her assistant she wasn’t going to make it into the office today and to cancel all her meetings. Elaine had asked her what she wanted her to tell Grayson. Apparently, he had asked about her several times already. Ava hadn’t answered Elaine; she hadn’t known what to tell her, so she had just hung up.
Ava looked up at the sky and inhaled. The day was soon coming to an end. After her doctor’s appointment, she had gone straight to Grace Memorial Hospital and waited for the radiologist to do her scans and the needle biopsy. Apparently, the woman was a good friend of Doctor Black’s. Ava had noticed how the elderly woman blushed at the mention of Doctor Black’s name.
The radiologist had done her best to comfort her, telling her she would hurry with the test results and to keep her spirits up, thinking positive thoughts.
After the whole ordeal, Ava had felt empty and hollow, not in the mood to do anything or go anywhere.
She walked around the city, drinking a smoothie she wasn’t in the mood for. She looked down on her phone, reading Graysons latest text:
Grayson: Are you stopping by the office tonight?
Ava knew it was his way of asking her if she was stopping by his office for a quickie. Their relationship had started out with them doing sinful things after office hours, the risk of being caught enhancing the excitement. Ava wanted to text back. She wanted to tell him yes. She placed her phone back down in her purse without giving Grayson an answer.
When the sun hung low on the sky, she started to walk back to her car to drive home, but a vision in the distance stopped her in her tracks. It was a handsome man in an expensive suit that looked a lot like her Grayson. Not hers hers, but hers as in her friend and colleague. Maybe she also had cancer in her brain and that was why she was seeing Grayson on the other side of the street in front of a hotel, talking with a tall, stunning Hispanic woman.
Ava blinked several times, but the image in front of her wouldn't go away. The sight wasn’t a figment of her imagination; it was her Grayson with a tall, stunning Hispanic woman. Ava followed them with her eyes as they made their way inside the hotel. She tried her best to remember if Grayson had mentioned anything about a meeting at a hotel, but for the life of her, she couldn’t remember anything besides the lump in her breast. Watching Grayson with the woman was the first time all day Ava had momentarily forgotten about the lump.
Ava made a drastic decision and crossed the road, following Grayson and the woman inside the hotel. At first, she thought she had lost them, but then she saw them going up a flight of stairs.
Channeling her inner James Bond, she followed them up the staircase. She couldn't hear what they were talking about or even if they were talking. She watched as they approached a room on the first floor and disappeared inside it, locking the door without so much as a backward glance at her.
Ava should have known. She should have known that Grayson effing Montgomery was nothing but a cheating scoundrel. She hated him. How could he do this to her? Why hadn’t he ended things with her if he wanted other women? Was it because she was the sister of his brother’s wife? Maybe the woman had been the one to call him at the hospital yesterday. Maybe she had wanted to see him, and he had been annoyed because he couldn’t get rid of Ava, who stupidly had followed him home and done everything to make him feel better.
The pain in her chest exploded throughout her body. The breaking of her heart suddenly hurt more than the lump in her breast. She had been a fool. Ava blamed no one but herself. She should have known better than to bed the devil. She had three rules she lived by - no love, no marriage, and no kids. She shouldn't have broken her first rule. She shouldn’t have fallen in love with Grayson effing Montgomery.
After the revelation of Grayson’s secret relationship with the stunning Hispanic woman, Ava was feeling utterly lost. She didn’t want to go home to her own apartment where she had to face the loneliness she felt seep inside every cell in her body. She didn’t want to go to Nicole and William’s place, then she’d have to explain why she was crying. And she couldn’t go to Grayson’s place, because she no longer belonged there.
In the end, she remained in her car, sitting in the parking lot in front of a coffee shop, glaring at the red roses planted in the ground in front of the small shop until the darkness of night overtook her surroundings.
On her drive back to her apartment, she drove past the office. Angry thoughts of Grayson’s untrustworthy ass made her see red. She had believed him to be a better person than to cheat on her. She knew she was the one who said they were only having fun and hanging out. She had been stupid to think that maybe just maybe she meant a little bit more to Grayson tha
n some fun.
Against Ava’s better judgment, she made a u-turn and returned to the office. She locked herself inside and hurried up to the third floor. Grayson’s text from earlier played on a loop in her head. He had asked her if she would stop by his office tonight, wanting his usual fun. But maybe he had already gotten his fill with the beautiful woman from this afternoon, not that Ava wanted to sleep with him now anyway. She just needed to see if he was there, waiting for her in his office. Why? She had no idea.
As soon as the elevator door opened, she turned around the corner and saw it - the light. The light in Grayson’s office was still on, meaning he was still there.
Ava let the light guide her to him. She needed to see him, she needed to end their thing that clearly wasn’t a thing. Grayson being with the beautiful woman this afternoon didn’t matter, Ava was going to end their hanging out time no matter what. Being swept off her feet by Grayson Montgomery had let her to be careless, and now she had cancer again. She couldn’t risk letting down her guards, and she never would again.
As Ava laid eyes on Grayson, she wanted to change her mind. She wanted him, but he didn’t want her, or at least, not only her, and Ava would never be a woman who would look the other way.
She had believed Grayson to be more than a player after everything he had told her about his dad. But maybe he had just played her, but why would he do that? No answer seemed to make sense. Nothing seemed to make sense today. Ava’s head and world were spiraling out of control. She needed to go back to being the Ava she was before Grayson entered her life. She needed to turn back time. She needed control, and she only knew one way to do that.
‘’Hi,’’ Ava whispered, her voice weak after having cried for most of the day.
Grayson looked up at her, removing his hand from under his chin, leaning back in his chair, looking over her body as if he was looking for injuries.
‘’I’ve waited all evening for you. Come here,’’ he said, reaching out a hand for her, but this time she wouldn’t take it. She remained unmoving.
‘’I don’t believe that for a second. You’re Grayson Montgomery, you don’t wait for anybody.’’
‘’I waited for you.’’ He gave her a devilish smile. ‘’Come here,’’ Grayson repeated.
‘’No,’’ Ava said, avoiding his gaze, focusing on the rushing of the blood in her veins and the breaking of her heart.
‘’Are you okay? You don’t look so well, sweetheart. Where have you been all day? You left without saying goodbye this morning. I’ve called and texted you all day without getting a reply. Elaine kept saying she didn’t know anything,’’ Grayson said, the last part laced with annoyance. ‘’I’ve been worried.’’
‘’You have been worried?’’ Ava asked with outrage. ‘’Really?’’ Ava glanced at him through narrow slits. Grayson looked genuinely worried, but maybe he was just playing her. She didn't know what to trust anymore. She no longer trusted her own gut feeling.
‘’What’s going on?’’ Grayson asked, his jaw flexing, his fingertips gripping onto the edge of his desk. ‘’Where have you been all day?’’
‘’I’ve been to see an old friend from my past that has decided to come back and bite me in the ass today. And then I went shopping...’’
‘’Shopping?’’
Yeah, Ava thought to herself, shopping for breast cancer, a smoothie, a broken heart, and a cheating boyfriend who never really was her boyfriend to begin with. She didn’t say any of it out loud. She didn’t want Grayson’s pity or hear him tell her that she was the one insisting on them not being anything more than fun.
‘’Listen, Grayson. I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to say it. I’m done.’’ Ava let the words she had practiced to say in her head escape her mouth, but she was still surprised when she felt her heart split in two.
‘’Done? With what?’’
‘’I think it would be best if we ended this thing between us.’’
‘’What?’’
‘’You heard me, Grayson. I think it’s for the best. We had fun, and we both knew it would have to come to an end someday.’’
Ava’s eyes were burning. She didn’t want to look at Grayson’s confused and hurt expression. She wanted to get the hell out of there so she could forget everything about him and the beautiful, Hispanic-looking woman.
‘’I’m sorry, Ava,’’ Grayson said, stepping toward her, cupping her jaw, wiping away the few treacherous tears running down her cheeks against her will. ‘’Don’t cry, sweetheart. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry about last night. I was too rough. I was confused and angry, and I took it out on you. I should have been gentler. I shouldn’t have taken you home with me, it was selfish of me, but I just needed you to make me feel better. I’m sorry I hurt you. Why didn’t you say something last night? I would have stopped. I swear I would have stopped. I would never intentionally hurt you, Ava.’’
‘’It’s not about last night, Grayson,’’ Ava exclaimed, the broken pieces of her heart pounding heavily in her chest due to the beaten look in his eyes when he thought he had physically hurt her last night.
‘’Then what? What have I done? Whatever it is, I’m sorry and I won’t do it again. Just tell me how to make everything right, sweetheart.’’
Ava took a final deep breath before pulling her head out of Grayson’s warm hold, disconnecting their connection.
‘’I’ve made the decision that I no longer want to be with you. We should be nothing but colleagues. It has nothing to do with last night. I’m in a place in my life where I need to be alone. I know you have other offers that you want to explore, and I need to be alone. If you do care about me at all, Grayson, you’ll respect my decision.’’
With that said, Ava left Grayson’s office and light behind, walking into the darkness. Alone.
Chapter 8 - Grayson
It was finally Friday evening, and his workweek was officially over. It had been over for an hour now. Grayson didn’t feel like going home to his empty apartment and empty bed that still faintly smelled of strawberry and Ava.
It had been a week since she had dumped him, and he hadn’t seen her since. She hadn’t been at the office, forcing him to take on all of her tasks and responsibilities. He pounded his fists against his desk. Ava hadn’t given any reason for her absence. Elaine didn’t know anything; she couldn’t even get ahold of Ava.
At first, Grayson had been worried sick, but now, he was just pissed. He had stopped by Ava’s apartment so many times, he felt like a stalker. Each time her apartment had been drowned in darkness, no sight of her anywhere. He had called William and asked him if he and Nicole knew anything, but they refused to tell him anything. William had just asked him to take over full-time at CPH for the rest of the week, a duty that Grayson had now fulfilled.
He rubbed his face with his palms, trying to get rid of the sleep in his eyes. He didn't want to go to sleep. When he slept, he dreamt of brown hair, brown eyes, and strawberries. Grayson didn’t understand what he had done wrong. Everything had been going great between them. He had even started to… No, he had already fallen for her.
Grayson wanted to break all of Ava’s stupid rules, he didn’t care how long it took. He wanted her, but clearly, she didn't feel the same about him. It had been so easy for her to dump him. He laughed sadistically. Now, he knew how all the women he had dumped over the years had felt. He had never batted an eye or been even remotely kind to them. Karma was handing him his own ass for all the people he had wronged in his life.
This week had been a week from hell. Not only had Ava blacklisted him from her life, but he had also received another life-changing news. Her name was Molina Castillo, the con artist his father had warned him about. As it turned out, his dad had once again been full of shit.
Grayson had received several calls from Molina. At first, he had ignored her, but then she had called again when he had been at the hospital celebrating the birth of his nephew. He hadn’t believed her words at firs
t, but she had convinced him to meet with her at a hotel to take a DNA test. He still hadn’t received the results, but he already knew what it was going to say.
Molina Castillo was his and William’s half-sister. Another casualty of their dad’s lecherous ways.
Molina was sweet and looked like her mother, according to herself. She was proud of her Spanish roots and had even lived in Spain for the past two years before returning home to the States, wanting to search for her father after her mom’s passing. She had informed Grayson about his father’s treatment of her. Eric Montgomery had tried to buy Molina off with money, but she hadn’t been interested. She had just wanted to see and meet the other half of her family.
She showed him photos of her mom that had been taken in Grayson’s childhood home to prove that her mom had worked as a maid for his parents when he and William were toddlers.
Taking into account how big of a cheater his father was, Grayson was amazed by his own stupidity that he had believed his father’s words regarding Molina being a con artist. Grayson had immediately refused to meet with her the first time she had contacted him. He should have known his father was full of bullshit, trying to cover up his past mistakes.
Grayson, however, knew the ugliness of the world and knew what people were capable of doing in the name of money. He didn’t want to take any risks, so he had agreed to meet with Molina at a hotel where no one would recognize him. They had done the DNA test inside a hotel room and then talked for a bit before parting ways. Grayson had personally sent the test to an institution to have it analyzed. He didn’t want to risk any foul play. He was still waiting for the test results before informing William with the news.
Grayson had enjoyed the big piles of work that had made its way onto his desk after Ava had decided not to show up for work. But even work didn’t make it possible for him to forget the broken organ that still managed to pump blood through his body.
