“What are cond-oms?” Miranda frowned.
“Oh, um. Yeah.” Clara’s face went hot as Miranda led her through the crowd to a private spot along the edge of the market. There she found a table prepared with fruit, bread, and cheese, which set her stomach to rumbling. She’d barely sat before she plucked up a thickly buttered piece of bread and nibbled on the edge. “Where I’m from, men use condoms to cover their—” she waved a hand toward her lap as Miranda joined her. “Like a sheath. A thin sheath.”
“That sounds most interesting.” Miranda’s eyes went wide. “Perhaps you can tell me more about these sheaths once you and Bowen have finished your quest.”
“Sure, yeah. Happy to.” Now she had yet another reason to get back to her world as soon as possible. She sipped the tea and was surprised at how sweet it tasted, with a hint of mint and something spicy. She licked her lips and continued eating. “How long have you been here, Miranda?”
Miranda poured herself a cup of another tea and sat back as the dozens of torches flickered light across the expanse of space in the market. “As I’m sure you noticed, time has a way of moving differently here. Hours, days...I lost track a long time ago. Long enough for my children to have children.”
“You have family here?” Clara recalled Bowen saying something about those who were sent here often brought their families—or their families were sent with them as additional punishment.
“I do. My husband, son, and daughter. And now three grandchildren. You’ve met one of them. Veronia is my eldest grandchild.” A sad, wistful smile stretched Miranda’s thin lips. “She’s a lovely girl.” Clara drank more her tea and welcomed the warmth sliding through her system. “You should be proud of her.”
“I am. Every day.” Tears shimmered in the old woman’s eyes as she clasped the dormant amulet around her neck. “But they don’t know who I am. And they never will. The punishment,” she added as if that would explain everything.
Clara set her cup down with a clank. “I thought the punishment was being sent to this realm?”
“It is only part of what we must endure. The magic that sends us here strips us of that which means the most to us. For Bowen, it was his magic. For me...it was my family. Their memories of me were erased. And when they see me, they see only a shadow of my true self. They know my name, but that is all.”
“But you remember.” Clara’s heart ached for the woman sitting before her. “You remember everything, don’t you?”
Miranda nodded. “A blessing. And a curse. I cannot ever tell them, for if I did, they would instantly die. So to protect them, I stay silent. Elya knew what would hurt me the most and she ripped that from me with glee, I’m certain. As I was the one responsible for exposing her betrayal to our Goddess.”
Elya again. The old crone had caused more harm than Clara could have ever have imagined. “I’m so sorry.”
“Yes, well, my sister and I never got along.”
Clara choked on her bread. “Elya is your sister?” Nowhere did Clara see a resemblance, except for the amulets each old woman wore.
“She is. Which makes the punishment all the more bitter. Even knowing what it would cost, I would not change what I did. Her actions cost hundreds of lives and cast our world into chaos that continues to this day. One day she will pay for what she has done.”
“In the meantime, you pay for it.”
Miranda sighed. “I cannot blame the Goddess for meting out punishment she saw fit to inflict. To do so would be to question all that I have believed since the day I was born.”
“Which is why you continue to serve her?” Clara wasn’t certain that was devotion or blind loyalty? This Goddess, this Alastrine, was her grandmother! But the more Clara learned about her, the less inclined she was to like her.
“In the ways I can, yes,” Miranda said. “I can only hope that before I am done with this world, I will be forgiven and the curse will be lifted. That my family will remember me once more.” She kissed her amulet and slipped it under her dress. “Some days that hope is the only thing that gets me through the darkness. A darkness you and Bowen can help end.”
Clara stared into the dregs of her tea, that longing to see her sisters again, to stroll down the sun-strewn streets of Edinburgh—or any city for that matter—pulling like an anchor dropping inside of her. At least she thought that’s what it was. She rubbed a hand against her chest as she looked back to Bowen as his laughter once again rang up and over the tops of the torches and echoed through the trees. Seconds before his pupils set their sights on him and tackled him to the ground in a giggling bundle of limbs.
* * *
Bowen knew the instant Clara emerged from their dwelling. Last night had made them one. Not only in body, but in soul. He could feel her gaze on him, feel the unsteady pounding of her heart as she watched him. It was all he could do to stay focused on the students who had demanded his attention from the second he’d walked out the door; little faces that reminded him so much of himself he couldn’t refuse their requests.
Hours later, having dispatched them back to their parents, he found Clara waiting by the door to the hut, arms crossed over her chest, her hair braided in the way of his people. The rich red of her hair shimmered like fire beneath the torches flickering in the breeze. As grateful as he was to her for getting him help, he wished she’d taken the precaution of covering her head. But what was done was done. He could only hope her carelessness wouldn’t come back to haunt them.
“You are well?” He touched a hand to her cheek and watched her eyes soften as she looked up at him. The smile that curved her lips had him wishing they had nothing else to do other than disappear into each other’s arms and one another’s bed.
“I am fine.” She wrapped her hand around his wrist, the crackling of magic charging the air between them. “At some point is that going to stop happening?” But she didn’t release him. “It’s getting a little unnerving. Never quite sure when it’s going to spark.” She lifted up to press her lips against his. “Especially considering where I prefer to touch you.”
“Then it is I who should be worried.” He cupped his hand around the back of her neck and kissed her more deeply. “Good morn, Clara.”
She nodded, licked her lips and grinned. “Yep. Good morning. Better than a triple shot espresso for sure.” She inclined her head, narrowed her eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He ducked inside, wishing for the first time their connection wasn’t quite so complete. Years ago, he’d been warned of making the soul connection possible for those possessing his form of magic. He’d never quite believed the intensity of it, and likened the warnings to myth and legend. And yet now he stood in her presence, he knew she could feel when he was...off. Anxious. Determined.
Frightened.
But not for himself. What was meant to happen to him had been set in place long before either of them had been born.
What terrified him now was what would happen to Clara when he was gone?
“Something is bothering you. Please don’t lie to me, Bowen.” She followed him inside and watched him as he began to pack what few belongings they had. “There are some things from my world I’d prefer to leave there.” She wedged herself in front of him, pushed his hands to his sides. “We aren’t going to accomplish anything together if we keep secrets. Whatever it is, you can tell me.” She cupped his face in her hands.
The words escaped before he could think to lie. Again. “I want us to be bound.”
“Bound.” Clara’s green eyes dulled as she deciphered his meaning. “Bound as in married? Betrothed like with rings and—”
“Miranda could perform a handfasting ceremony before we leave. It would be—” How did he put this so she’d understand “It would be another way to protect you as we proceed with our quest. There are dangers out there, situations that can be avoided if we were bound.”
“Oh! So being married will save me from being eaten by one of those water creatures that killed Keane?”
Oh, the romance of this world. “Yeah, thanks for the offer, but I’m not feeling like getting married today. Wow.” She shifted away. “You sleep with a guy one night and bam! He’s trying to put a ring on your finger.”
“I do not take this idea lightly,” Bowen insisted. “But it would make what I need to do far easier if—”
“And now the guilt trip. Just goes to show, doesn’t matter what realm you end up in, you men are all alike. Who says I want to get married?” Clara demanded. “No offense, but right now, all I want is to get that book and get home. To my family. To my life. I thought you understood that?”
Bowen shook his head. “And if that’s not possible, you will remain in this world, unprotected.”
“Why? You going somewhere without me?” She planted her hands on her hips and glared at him as he resumed packing. “Aha! I knew it! You’re still looking to ditch me.”
“No.” He should have known not to give in to the desire of normal men. He hadn’t been normal since he’d been chosen as one of Alastrine’s wardens. Nothing about his life had been normal. Not before he’d been banished to the Forgotten Realm and certainly not since Clara’s arrival. But he had a chance to right his wrongs and given their connection, bonding with her would only strengthen her magic once he was gone. Magic he knew Miranda and possibly others, could help her learn to control. “I promised to protect you and bonding with you is simply another layer of that protection. You are more than welcome to refuse.” He wasn’t hurt. Exactly. He’s clearly misjudged how strong their connection was. Now he’d have to find another way to make certain she was kept safe. “I won’t ask again.”
“Passive aggressiveness does not suit you, dude. Do you love me, Bowen?”
“I-what?” He shook his head. What was wrong with the woman? “Last night was—”
“Sex,” Clara cut him off. “Last night was really great sex and if I remember, only one of us mentioned the “L” word. And it wasn’t the one of us who needs a shave.” She came dangerously close to poking him in the chest again. “Do you love me?”
“Yes.” He didn’t know when it had happened. Or why. Or how, but it had. The sight of her filled him with happiness and hope; emotions he’d given up any claim to years before. He longed to see her smile, to hear her laugh, or listen to those ridiculous names she called him. But with love came something else he had no idea how to deal with. “Yes, I love you.”
Fear descended on him; fear that hadn’t come with him to the Forgotten Realm. Or onto the battlefield. Or when Dracha had attempted to follow them to where they’d hidden Shona. Or even as he’d watched his friends die.
No, Bowen was afraid because now, for the first time since he arrived in this place he had something to lose.
* * *
“I need your help, Miranda.” Bowen waited until after mid-morning meal before approaching the old woman. Clara had made friends with some of the women and was currently obtaining supplies for their journey north. A journey that, with Clara’s rejection of him, just became more complicated.
“Nothing with you is ever simple, Bowen.” Miranda stepped back and let him into her dwelling. Similar to the hut he and Clara had been sharing, it was strewn with reminders and tokens of memories she was unable to share with anyone who truly mattered to her.
Since his arrival many cycles ago, Bowen had longed to return Miranda’s family to her. Now that his magic had been returned, he had an advantage; an advantage made stronger by Clara’s presence. He still had no doubt he wouldn’t live to see the results of his quest, but he did have more hope of succeeding than he had only days ago.
“Clara will not agree to bond with me.”
“Ah.” Miranda gave him a slow nod. “I cannot say I am surprised. She is inordinately independent.”
“Bonding with her would have strengthened her magic. Would have given her protection should something happen to me. Since she will not agree, I need another solution. I need more to join my quest. I need help.” If she wouldn’t bond with him, perhaps there was another...he pushed that thought out of his head before the bubbling jealousy could take hold.
“And you want to know who to trust.” Miranda took a long, deep breath.
“I have kept myself alone for too long. I don’t know who—”
“Taobh Amiuigh.”
Bowen straightened. “The Outsiders. I thought Dracha and his soldiers killed the last of them six cycles ago?”
“He tried. There were survivors. They’ve grown in numbers since, but now keep to the eastern shores near the sea.” She hesitated, clasping her fingers around her amulet. “They are not who they were,” Miranda continued. “They have become more brutal, more distrusting. They will not be easy to convince that you can succeed where they have failed. Not even with your magic or Clara’s.”
“Sounds promising. Do you think they would protect Clara?”
“If it were in their interest to do so, yes. If it would earn them your loyalty, they could be persuaded.”
“Declaring my loyalty to another is part of what put me here in the first place.” The idea didn’t sit well with him. “I will not make that mistake again.”
“We all must make concessions for the greater good. If you wish to protect Clara, if you wish to stop Dracha and regain your honor, then you must do what it is you fear the most.” Her eyes glistened with determination. “You must be willing to lose it all.”
* * *
“Backhanded, ulterior motive proposal. That’s just great.” Clara tugged her cloak tight at her throat as she stomped through the insect strewn, shadowy, root infested never ending forest that seemed to whine against the darkness. Darkness abated significantly along their way now that Bowen could snap his fingers and become an instant flashlight. Not to mention the forest parted in front of him, clearing their way before recovering itself once they’d passed. “Nothing a girl loves more than having a knight in shining armor trying to ride to her rescue with a great big stick up his—”
“Clara.” Bowen sighed her name and not in the way that made her thighs quiver. He stopped walking and just stood there. “Stop. Please.”
“I don’t need rescuing!”
He looked over his shoulder and arched that obnoxiously silent brow of his.
“If memory serves,” Clara continued, “I’m the one who rescued you, Bluto, so don’t you dare—”
“If you don’t wish to be bonded why do you keep on about it?” He looked genuinely confused as he faced her. “I asked. You said no. I will find another way to keep you safe. That’s all that needs saying. Can we please—?”
“I don’t want to be anyone’s obligation.” Clara grabbed his arm when he turned to move on. “I don’t want to be proposed to because it’s the right thing to do or because it’s the honorable thing to do. That’s just—insulting.”
“How is it insulting to want to keep you safe?”
“Because I’m perfectly capable of keeping myself safe. Especially if you’re around.”
He flinched as if she’d struck him.
And the pieces fell into place. “Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow.” Her stomach flipped and she pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes until she saw stars. “I am such an idiot. Of course. This isn’t just about keeping me safe, it’s about making sure I’m protected once you’re gone.” Anger and fear twined themselves into a knot in her chest. “You’re not expecting to come out of this alive, are you?”
“Clara—”
“No!” She stepped back and snapped at him, anger overtaking the fear pounding inside of her. “No, you don’t get to keep something like this to yourself. We are a team! We have been since that frakin’ book left me here. We are in this together! We get the book and we get out together.”
“No, Clara.” He shook his head as he moved closer. She stood her ground, determined not to show any more weakness. Determined not to let the tears clogging her throat show in her eyes. “It’s not possible for me to leave. Not when my people are still sufferin
g. I will do all I can to get you home, if it’s possible. But I cannot go with you. I will not leave them behind while I am free. But this isn’t only about you. This is about Rivalin and the promise I made to my friend. I cannot allow him to live this life of servitude. Not when it’s back in my power to save him. I cannot walk away.” His hands locked around her waist and pulled her into his arms. “No matter how much I might want to. I love you, Clara. Don’t ask me to choose between you and my sworn duty to Rivalin.”
“To what? Kill him?” She croaked.
If I must. His magic has always been more powerful than mine. I don’t know what I’ll be facing when I face him. Killing him may be the only way to free him.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I would want him to do the same for me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She whispered and touched her fingers to his face. The face she saw whenever she closed her eyes. The face she’d remember every day for the rest of her life. “Why didn’t you tell me all this before I—” Before she what? Before she slept with him? Before she fell in love with him?
But then she never would have known the pleasure—and wonder—of either.
“I’m sorry.” He kissed her, softly. “I didn’t think it would matter so much.”
“What? You dying? Well it does.” She tried to laugh, but couldn’t manage. “At some point were you going to fill me in on all this or are we just winging this whole kill Dracha and Rivalin thing?”
“I was planning on telling you if my next steps don’t pan out. First and foremost I will find a way to protect you from Dracha.” He kissed her again, and swallowed the expletives she was about to shoot his way. “On this there will be no argument. I am taking you to The Outsiders and will strike a deal with them to take you in. They are the only group strong enough and they will help you learn to use your magic. And hopefully, one day, help you get home. End of discussion.”
Clara smirked. That’s what he thought. She had ways of getting under his...skin. It might take a few nights, but somehow she’d convince him there was another way for him to achieve his goals, save his friend’s soul, and walk away: alive.
Issue 7, Febraury 2018: Featuring Jayne Ann Krentz: Heart's Kiss, #7 Page 21
