He lifted her easily. She entwined her legs around his waist, holding him captive, her heels digging into the back of his hips. He turned and slammed her against the wall, restraining her exactly where he wanted. Instinctively, her hands flew out in self-protection, but he grabbed them, securing one in each hand. He dragged her arms high above her head, stretching them tight. She gasped, but the unrelenting grip of her thighs around his waist and the small rocking motion of her hips told him she wanted more.
“I’m going to fuck you so hard,” he growled against the soft curve of her ear.
Julia responded with a low moan, her pelvis riding against the rigid planes of his abdomen. He transferred her right hand to his left, securing both of her wrists together, then he gripped her top, dragging it over the swell of her belly and dusky nipples, releasing her breasts. His free hand covered her skin, luxuriating in the weight of her soft flesh against his palm. He flicked one nipple with his thumb and a small mewling sound escaped from deep in her throat. His hand skated lower, smoothing over her thigh, playing with the drape of the skirt she’d favored for her damaged knees.
“This is so pretty and soft,” he muttered as he rubbed the fabric between forefinger and thumb. He let it drop and dipping below the hemline, his hand whispered against her tender inner skin with the barest of touches. “Just like you, Julia.” A small whimper of pleasure escaped her lips as his hand explored higher. Here, the lace of her underwear blocked his access. His fingers pressed against the delicate fabric, thumbing it aside to allow his fingers to slide into her warmth. She gasped under the insistence of his touch, her inner muscles clamping down on him.
“God.” His voice was a low growl against her collarbone, the slick feel of her driving him crazy. “You’re so tight and so fucking wet.”
With a swift jerk, his hand tore the scrap of material that passed for underwear from her body, exposing her to the cool air. He was hungry to possess her, to claim her, the recent proximity of death and violence fueling his arousal and the roughness of his actions.
He rocked back from her slightly, unzipping his trousers, the metal on his belt clinking as he freed himself. She moaned, her eyes half-lidded. Sawyer nudged the smooth head of his cock against her folds for a brief second of exquisite anticipation, then he rammed every iron inch of himself inside her, crushing her to him.
Julia cried out under his brutal penetration as he sank deep, her hands pinned in a relentless grip against the wall. He speared upwards, deep to her very core. He couldn’t go slowly, driving into her mindlessly was the only thing that would keep him together and obliterate the death and destruction of the past forty-eight hours. His only sanctuary from the hot mess of the world was when his cock was clasped deep inside her hot, tight folds.
He felt his release building, a boiling sphere circling low at the base of his spine as her legs circled him tighter, impaling herself on him as he continued to drive into her. His hand slipped between her thighs, finding the smooth nub of her clit and riding it with a hot, slippery circle from his thumb.
“God, Sawyer,” she muttered, her voice thick with need as she tightened around him. Heated pressure constricted his cock and Julia stiffened as her release rocketed through her. Her body arched and she screamed his name.
He crushed her bottom lip between his teeth, inhaling her scent and tasting the salt of her sweat on his tongue. The tenuous thread of his control shattered as he yanked the tight glove of her body down hard and with a final, hammering thrust his own release roared through his body.
Sawyer held her tight as pleasurable aftershocks pulsed through him, waiting for his ragged breathing to return to normal. Through the relaxed haze of scattered thoughts he kissed her, still savoring the sensation of his cock lodged deep inside her. His breathing eased and he dropped his head to the crook of her neck, releasing her hands. Her gentle fingers stroked his skull, caressing the buzz of his hair.
Beth was dead, and he couldn’t change that, but Julia was here and alive in his arms.
Alive.
He was going to fucking make sure she stayed that way.
23
Julia woke to the unfamiliar weight of solid man curled around her. She’d spent the night with Sawyer. In his bed.
Panic kick-started in her brain, but for the first time ever, she quashed it, consciously relaxing her body and allowing herself to sink into his hard warmth. One muscular arm rested comfortably along her flank, his fingers curled in ownership around the curve of her hip. She allowed his presence to warm her skin, appreciating the possessive weight of his arm.
I feel safe. The thought was fresh and new.
She opened her eyes as the realization hit her. Her mind was clear and calm. She’d woken under her own steam and she hadn’t been torn from her sleep by nightmares. Her mind was a landscape blanketed with a clean snowfall, no dirty tracks of bad dreams sullying the pristine surface. She hadn’t dreamt of her sister’s blank, open eyes accusing her from the weedy depths, her pale face listing in shafts of spattered sunlight.
It was her first night without nightmares since when? Since forever.
Julia basked in the quiet peacefulness, stretching her legs to the tips of her toes. I could get used to this.
She turned to watch him sleep, touched the thick strip of dark hair on top of his head and ran her fingertips across the smoky softness that covered the rest of his skull. Sleep had softened his features, erasing the lines of stress and violence the Chittrix had imposed. She liked to think some of that softening was down to her too.
Hot memories of last night rushed through her brain, loosening the muscles of her belly and thighs. She flushed. God. She was easy. But she was glad she was here with him, and that he was alive and safe, even if strange, new emotions were pricking at her heart. For the first time since the invasion she was grateful to acknowledge something good in her life.
Sawyer stirred, his legs tangling with hers under the sheet. She considered pulling him into the soft welcome of her body, tucking her head into the crook of his neck, and listening to the soothing beat of his heart.
He’d been broken last night, torn from his moorings by the violent events of the day and his connection to them. Beth’s vengeful face swam through Julia’s mind. Now that there was time, Julia wanted to know more. There was more, she was sure of it.
“Hey.” His voice was low, muzzy with sleep.
Julia rolled to greet him, her nose bumping up against his. He smiled and slid his hands up the flex of her waist, cupping her naked breast and gently squeezing her nipple between his finger and thumb.
She pulled a mock stern face. “Haven’t you had enough?”
His face was serious. “I’ve never had enough of you.”
She sighed into his embrace, hooking her leg around his body, arching her pelvis into him while her hands explored the compact edges of his chest and abdomen, memorizing them. All hers.
Lines at the corners of his mouth deepened as he remembered the events of the previous day
She cupped his chin with the crook of her hand. “You okay?”
Pain darkened the gold of his hazel eyes. He rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Julia waited, allowing the closeness of her body to soothe him as she stroked the curve of his shoulder. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and took a long shuddering breath.
“You couldn’t have saved her,” she said.
“Yeah. I’m just worn out watching people die and not being able to do anything about it.”
“About Beth—”
“Beth’s brother, Robbie, ran a drugs ring. I was undercover in the drug squad for over three years, dealing, working my way deep into his organization. He was big. There wasn’t a part of the country uncontaminated by his filth. I worked my way up his ranks, ran distribution, made myself irreplaceable.”
He hesitated, still staring at the ceiling. Julia was desperate for him to look at her, but she was fearful of interrupting, worried if she did, he mi
ght never finish.
Her emotions got the better of her. “And?”
“And it was a messed-up lifestyle. Sometimes I think I did well. Other times I think I was part of the problem. It’s impossible to be part of all that without becoming assimilated.”
Julia stole a glimpse of the small white scars tracing the crook of his elbow. God, how had she been so naive?
She remained silent. None of her thoughts were fit for purpose. She’d asked him what was going on, and he was being straight. But until now, their relationship had been simple, no deep disclosures. She’d kept him at a safe distance. Now she was split between a hunger to know more and a deep fear of connection and understanding his past. Damned simple as ever.
“Beth and I worked closely together, distributing the product.”
He paused as memories flitted across his face. “She never forgave me. It all went down a month before the Chittrix invasion. I finally had enough evidence to bring Robbie down. There was a massive raid, and we took them both into custody. I never knew what happened to her until now, although I knew she was a fighter. She was tough. Had to be with a brother like Robbie. He brought her up after their parents died in a car crash.” He looked straight at Julia. “I should have protected her, and I didn’t. I sold her out.”
“I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you.”
He nodded and she waited, part of her believing there was more. She berated herself, it shouldn’t matter, their relationship was casual. It was none of her business what he’d had with Beth and if he wanted to tell her about it or not. Her own irrationality made the inside of her skull itch, and she hated herself for it.
Sawyer scrubbed his face with the palms of his hands. “It’s done,” he said in a final tone. He turned to face her, his arms encompassing her and pulling her snug against his body.
“This is what is important. Here and now.” He kissed her eyelids before resting his forehead against hers. “I thought you were going to die in the sewer,” he whispered, the edge of his voice hoarse with emotion. Butterflies danced in Julia’s belly. What was he doing to her?
“It’s still early. We have time,” she said, eager to change the subject, pressing her curves into the heat of his body. His eyes creased into a warm smile as his hands ran lower, slipping between her legs and finding her hot wetness. Julia gently traced the soft line of hair from his belly button to his erection, her fingernails teasing his skin. Her fingers traced across the swollen head of his cock, dipping around the corona before enclosing his shaft in a firm grip. Deep groans spilled from him as she stroked him. This was so much easier, just forgetting and giving herself to him.
Greedy for his touch, she ground her pelvis against his muscled thigh. Soft hairs on his leg rubbed against her clit, tormenting her.
“I can’t believe we waited this long to wake up together.”
She smiled at his words, allowing happiness to soak through her.
He pulled back slightly to get easier access to the warmth of her open thighs and two strong fingers pressed deep inside her, while his thumb slid across the exposed nub of her clit. A gasp of tortured pleasure escaped her lips. The skill of his hands continued to surprise and delight her. He worked her with skilled patience, escalating her pleasure with firm thrusts of his hand.
“Enough,” he grunted. He moved over her, covering her body. The muscles of his back flexed smoothly under her fingertips as his pelvis continued to rock into the softness of her hand. His voice was a throaty growl. “I want to be inside you.”
She released him, letting him guide the thick tip of his cock against her slickness. His eyes held her captive, watching her reaction as he eased the first inch of his cock inside her with tender slowness. She rose to meet him, but he held his distance.
“I want to feel every inch of you, slowly.”
She groaned, a thrill of goosebumps rising on her bare legs as he threw the sheet away, tracing the edge of his nails up the outside of her leg. Breathless, words faded from her mind as desire razed her rational thoughts to the ground.
He tilted his pelvis, burying himself inch by inch inside her. Julia luxuriated in her body stretching to accommodate him, as he filled her up. He was driving her crazy, and she ached with desperation to feel him seated deep within her. She grasped the small of his back, the hard tension in his muscles sending quivers to her core.
God. She wanted him now.
“Mine,” he muttered as their bodies met, his voice deep with need. He gripped her hips, thrusting with teasing deliberation.
She matched his rhythm, her legs locked around his back as he bit her neck, hard enough to mark, but she was beyond caring, needing a release from this exquisite torture.
He took her nipple between his fingers as he rode deep within her, teasing the pebbled skin with flicks and gentle pinches, making her cry out. His mouth bit and sucked lower, his breath hardening her nipple as he paused before taking it in his mouth. His teeth grazed the erect tip, sending arcs of pleasure between her legs.
She couldn’t take any more. She stretched, clasping him to her as her body clamped down and she splintered around him. Her cries echoed in her ears as he thrust again, and again. Finally possessing her, his cock thickened, stretching her even further as he found his release, losing himself within her.
Julia held him as he spilled hot inside her, her arms wrapped around his neck as she breathed in his scent, unable to let him go. The moment shimmered between them, precious and fragile. She knew it then, what they might have had in different circumstances, in a world unharmed by alien war, where men and women had the luxury of time to love each other but she couldn’t hold it any longer, it didn’t belong to her. The moment escaped in a blur of stinging barely-controlled tears.
Sawyer kissed her neck, and she released him. She swept an eyelash from above the dimple on his cheek then pressed her lips to his palm, hiding the hot tears behind her eyes and letting reality come rushing back in.
24
Julia peered into the small infirmary room in amazement. Violet was perched on the edge of an infirmary bed with the two young girls from Crossness, detangling their hair in long, strokes with a wide-toothed comb before plaiting it close to their heads.
Around twenty surviving scavengers had been brought to the safety of the CB after the Chittrix attack. The two girls sat cross-legged, rifling through a basket of hair ribbons that Violet had conjured up from somewhere. Neither spoke, but their shoulders had dropped the hunched, frightened tension they’d had when they arrived at the CB. Their faces were animated and pink as they threaded Violet’s long auburn locks through their own small fingers.
Julia was drawn to the girls. The youngest was about the same age Maria had been when she’d died. After leaving Sawyer that morning, she’d headed to the infirmary, ostensibly to check on the girls, but primarily to soothe her own curiosity.
But Violet had beaten her to it, and Julia hesitated behind the glass of the nurse’s station when she saw the small group in front of her. Violet looked softer, her rough edges tucked away while she spoke with the girls. There were no weapons strapped to her body. That had to be a first.
Julia turned to leave, happy they were safe, and walked straight into Nathan Darr. She collided with the unyielding wall of his chest and bounced off his muscled body.
“Hey.” He raised his hands in surprise but didn’t step back. Julia retreated, wary of his motives.
“How long have you been standing there?” Just because he’d been welcomed into the safety of the CB didn’t mean she trusted him at all.
Darr’s expression was cool and guarded, his midnight-blue eyes keeping secrets behind an unkempt fringe. He peered through the nurse’s screen and smiled. “I came down to check on the girls.”
Julia followed the direction of his sight and softened. “Me too. V’s taking good care of them.”
“I see that. Garrick’s sister?”
The casual tone of his voice clashed with th
e close attention he was paying to V.
“Yes.”
He gave the smallest of nods, his expression giving nothing away.
Julia squeezed past him, her back to the wall. He was tall and lean, with a dirty, angular swarthiness that she found disquieting. She stepped back out into the main corridor, releasing a tiny sigh of relief before she realized that Darr, like a dark shadow, was tailing her.
“Can I help you?” she asked, struggling to keep the irritation from her voice. She’d done the small talk, and she wasn’t even very fluent at that. Julia increased the length of her stride, but Darr kept up with her, his legs effortlessly matching her pace. She’d have to jog if she wanted to lose him.
His voice was smooth, catching her off-guard. “Rumor has it you worked for the government in weapons development. That you made the device that took out the primary hive?”
Julia gave a short, derisory snort. “You shouldn’t believe everything you hear.”
“Impressive for a woman.”
What!
They were passing a couple deep in conversation so Julia waited till they were out of earshot. Then she halted abruptly and spun toward Darr, her patience dwindling on a thin thread.
“Can I help you, or are you just tagging along to insult me?”
He gave her a benevolent, lopsided smile, his demeanor casually assessing. “I was just making conversation.”
“Making conversation?” Her tone was caustic even to her own ears.
He watched her with a slow burn of nonchalance. “If I’m bothering you I apologize. It wasn’t intended.” He dipped his head in a conciliatory gesture, but his scrutiny was impenetrable, setting her nerves on edge.
She gave a dismissive shake of her head and spun on her heel. She was only a minute from her lab. She’d get rid of him there.
“Did you know they knew each other?” His voice was impassive, but close to her shoulder. God, he was still following her. The man was so quiet.
Sawyer Page 11
