Mail Order Mommy

by Christine Johnson

  Please, Lord, not again. These children have already been through too much.

  Chapter Twelve

  By the time Garrett stepped outside, dark clouds had rolled in, blotting the setting sun. Isaac crouched in the shelter of the building, his auburn hair tossing in the winds.

  “I’m ready,” Garrett said, clapping his son on the back.

  The two headed around the mill and caught the full force of the wind. This was a gale, with a storm brewing. Garrett hunched against the blast. He could feel its strength, but Isaac was struggling to walk into it.

  “Want me to carry you?” Garrett asked.

  “No,” the boy replied tersely.

  Isaac was too old to be carried. Garrett had to handle this carefully.

  “Walk behind me.” His bulk would block the worst of the wind.

  “I’m all right.”

  Garrett recognized that stubborn streak. It came from him.

  He glanced ahead, but had to narrow his eyes against the pelting sand. Already the grit had gotten into his mouth. The dimness made it difficult to make out buildings except by the lights in their windows. The store lay ahead and to his left. He should see lights in his house from here. Many an evening those lit windows had drawn him home, like a harbor sentinel.

  Tonight he saw only darkness in that direction. At first he figured it had gotten too dark or the sand was obscuring the view, but he could make out the hotel lights, and that building was much farther away. Isaac said they were out of wood, but Garrett had plenty of candles in the house. Even if the last ember went out in the stove, he had matches on hand. There was no reason for the windows to be dark.

  A chill ran through him.

  Had something happened to Sadie and Amanda?

  Ignoring his son’s protests, he grabbed hold of the boy and picked up his pace. Every instinct told him to head to the house first, but then a thought crossed his mind. Maybe Amanda had taken Sadie to the store or the boardinghouse to keep her warm. He’d check first with Roland.

  Rather than heading around back to the woodpile, he tugged Isaac to the front of the mercantile. The wind tried to rip the door right out of his hands. Once inside, with the door secured, Garrett stomped the sand off his boots.

  “Well, look who’s here.” That was Roland.

  “Isaac? Garrett?” Pearl swooped in and caught up Isaac in a quick embrace. “I’m so glad you’re all right.”

  “Garrett!” Fiona flung herself at him. “We were so worried.”

  He extricated himself from her grasp as quickly as Isaac squirmed out of Pearl’s. “Why? I was just at work.”

  “No one knew where Isaac was,” Pearl stated.

  The pieces started to fit together. Garrett looked down to see his son with head bowed and hands shoved into his coat pockets.

  “Isaac? Did you tell Miss Amanda where you were going?”

  The boy didn’t answer.

  Garrett realized he’d been standing, not crouching like Amanda always did. He got down on one knee. “Son, you need to tell me the truth. People are worried about you. We don’t want anything to happen to you.”

  Isaac’s lower lip quivered. “I didn’t mean to, Papa. I just wanted to help. I can do it. I can take care of things.”

  A lump formed in Garrett’s throat, and he pulled the upset little boy into an embrace. “Of course you can. You had a good thought, son, and a good heart.”

  As tempted as he was to point out the obvious—that Isaac was supposed to tell an adult where he was going—he couldn’t do it in front of the handful of people gathered around them. There would be time to reinforce that point later.

  “Where is your sister?”

  “At home,” Isaac sobbed.

  Garrett’s heart went cold. The house had been dark. What if something had happened to them?

  Fiona placed her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry. They’re both fine. Amanda brought Sadie to the boardinghouse.”

  Garrett let out his breath with a whoosh. His daughter was fine. Amanda had made certain of it. The warmth of that realization bubbled over into gratitude.

  “Thank you.” He stood and looked at those gathered around him. Mr. Calloway, Roland, Pearl, Fiona. And Charlie, who helped out at the store. A handful of lanterns stood at the ready on the counter. They’d been prepared to search for Isaac.

  Garrett swiped at his mouth. “Thank you.”

  He couldn’t think of anything more profound to say, not while the emotions still threatened to spill over.

  * * *

  After the joyful reunion, Mrs. Calloway insisted they all eat supper together at the boardinghouse. She had more than enough, especially when Amanda helped her make another batch of biscuits to go with the sausages, potatoes and cabbage. The hearty fare pleased everyone, and Amanda reveled in the full table. It resembled a family holiday, though she had observed those only from the Chatsworths’ kitchen. Stories were told, laughter pealed out and Isaac’s embarrassment eased.

  The poor boy had looked most miserable when Garrett steered him in front of her for an apology.

  “Sorry, Miss Amanda,” Isaac had mumbled.

  “Tell her it won’t happen again,” Garrett had prompted.

  “Won’t happen again,” Isaac echoed, his face averted so she couldn’t see it.

  “I’m certain it won’t,” Amanda had assured him, “now that you see how much everyone cares about you.”

  He’d looked up then and flushed when he saw the smiles of family and friends, but as the meal progressed, he began to chatter like a normal boy. Since Sadie’s thumb left her mouth and never returned, Amanda considered the outcome a success, but she did miss the time she would have spent with just Garrett and the children that evening. Those moments together were precious.

  This time Garrett did not hold Isaac’s disappearance against her. His laughter and pointed attention to her made that clear enough. Also clear was Fiona’s attention to him. When Pearl announced that they could assemble the stable and backdrop tomorrow for the nativity play, Fiona glowed.

  “You will help me with the backdrop, won’t you?” the redhead asked Garrett. “I’ll need someone strong to hang it.”

  Garrett didn’t look one bit like a cornered rabbit. He even smiled at her. “I can do that. I’ll ask Roland to help us.”

  “Of course,” Fiona purred. “We’ll need more than one man to put it up.”

  “I kin help out,” Mr. Calloway offered.

  Amanda had to stifle a laugh at the look on Fiona’s face. Clearly, she had not counted on the boardinghouse owner to volunteer for the job.

  When the children began yawning soon after supper, Garrett bundled them up to take them home. Roland offered to bring a load of wood in the pushcart and took off into the windy but as yet dry night. Pearl needed to work on the script for the play, which they would rehearse tomorrow. One by one, everyone drifted off, leaving Amanda alone to say good-night to Garrett and the children.

  She gave Sadie a hug and a kiss and managed to embrace Isaac before he pulled away.

  Then she faced Garrett. “I’m so glad everything turned out all right.”

  His blue-gray eyes looked black in the low light filtering into the hallway from the parlor. “I’m sorry for alarming you.”

  “It’s not your fault.” Yet something in his look made her heart beat a little faster. “These things happen.”

  “Yes. I guess they do.”

  She could feel that tension between them, just like when they’d gone sledding and crashed at the bottom of the slope. Her lips tingled, and she was suddenly aware of the tiniest details, like how one side of his mouth ticked up a little when he was embarrassed, and the slight bend to his nose, as if he’d gotten into a scrape when young. Both made him even more han
dsome.

  Silence stretched between them for what seemed like minutes. She could not break his gaze, did not want to.

  “Papa.” Sadie tugged on her father’s coat.

  He bent over and picked her up. “Time to go home, sunshine.”

  She giggled and hugged her papa.

  Amanda both regretted the lost moment and longed to be the one that Sadie turned to when she needed love and encouragement. Perhaps that day would come. Patience. Amanda must wait for them to come to her. Tonight Garrett would head home with his family, while she remained at the boardinghouse.

  “Good night, then,” she said with a wave.

  “We’ll see you tomorrow.” Garrett’s smile sent her heart fluttering again.

  She stepped toward him, but he herded the children through the door, leaving her alone in the front hallway. She watched them walk away until she couldn’t stand the cold any longer. With a sigh, she closed the door.

  Tomorrow seemed an eternity away.

  * * *

  Roland had arrived with a cartload of wood by the time Garrett got back to the house. While Isaac and Roland carried firewood into the house, Garrett stacked the rest in the bin. He’d nearly lost his head with Amanda back at the boardinghouse. In front of his children, no less. If Sadie hadn’t jerked him out of the moment, he might have kissed Amanda.

  What would Isaac and Sadie think of that?

  Yes, Sadie had written the school paper asking for Miss Mana to be her new mama, and both children had started the whole mail-order-wife fiasco, but they probably didn’t realize that a new mama for them also meant a new wife for him. Including kisses.

  Garrett wiped his brow before hefting more logs into the wood bin. The exertion must be making him hot. It couldn’t be the thought of kissing Amanda. Other than the foolish stolen kisses of youth, he hadn’t truly kissed any woman but Eva.

  She was his one and only. He’d thought she felt the same. When she’d admitted to a love affair with a traveling peddler in the last year of their marriage, he’d been crushed. All trust in his wife vanished. How many more had there been? She’d refused to answer. Breaking his vows had never crossed his mind. How could she?

  She threw out excuses. That Garrett had taken her from the life she loved in Chicago, that he couldn’t give her the luxuries she wanted, that he was dull—the list went on and on. She even went so far as to say that she should have married Roland, whom she’d dated before Garrett courted and married her. At the time, Garrett had seen Eva’s attentions as a victory over his younger brother. Now he realized she’d played him against Roland in order to get Garrett to marry her. Why? Because Garrett was the oldest and would inherit, she had boldly proclaimed. When that inheritance came to naught thanks to their father’s debts, she’d felt betrayed.

  In turn she’d sought revenge through an adulterous liaison.

  The knowledge had nearly destroyed Garrett. His fury had driven her to her death.

  Bitterness began to creep in, but he shook it off. The past was over and done. Eva was dead. Her lover would never return. Much as he wanted to pound the man to a pulp, the Bible made it perfectly clear that vengeance was the Lord’s. Garrett had to forgive and try to forget.

  Thus far he’d failed miserably at both.

  Amanda helped. A lot. When he was around her, he could momentarily forget Eva’s betrayal and imagine a future. He could see Amanda as a mother to his children. She was good with them, and tonight’s incident showed she could act appropriately when something went wrong. She would make a good mother—but a wife?

  Garrett licked the perspiration off his lips. Could he love her the way a wife deserved to be loved? Could he open his heart to another woman? She seemed perfect on the surface, but then so had Eva. Beneath the pretty exterior, his late wife had proved demanding and self-centered. Amanda did not appear to be either of those, but Garrett could not take a chance. Until he was absolutely certain of Amanda’s character, he couldn’t contemplate marriage.

  There. Decision made.

  Then why didn’t he feel better?

  He tossed the last chunk of wood in the bin and rolled the cart to the front of the house. Roland was still inside with the children, making sure they were all right. That’s the sort of instinctive attention Garrett needed in a wife. That’s what he would try to determine about Amanda. Tomorrow would give him the perfect chance. They would spend long hours together preparing for the nativity play. He would watch and listen and seek God’s counsel.

  Soon enough he would have his answer.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chaos ruled in the church building and temporary schoolhouse. Amanda stood near Pearl, who was trying desperately and unsuccessfully to teach the speaking parts to the children. Only the littlest ones sat still for more than a minute before racing around the benches that served as seats during school days and pews on Sunday. Even Isaac and Sadie were filled with more than their usual energy. Last night’s episode had apparently been forgotten.

  “I helped build the stable,” Isaac told Amanda with pride. “I hammered in a nail.”

  “You did? I had no idea you were so skilled.”

  That response must have met with his approval, for he darted back to the front of the church, where Garrett was assembling the stable. It was shallow, capable of housing just the holy family and a few stuffed animals, but it was tall enough for a shorter adult, like her, to stand in. Even the Bailey brothers, who were playing the magi, would have no difficulty fitting under the eaves.

  Near Garrett, Fiona had spread out an old, black canvas tarpaulin that someone had donated for the cause. She added the stars in white and yellow, stopping after each to talk to Garrett. Her obvious attempts to interest him were beginning to get on Amanda’s nerves.

  The pounding of Garrett’s and Roland’s hammers, combined with the shrieks and giggles of children, made it nearly impossible to hear anything. When little Evelyn Clapp let out a particularly shrill squeal, Amanda cringed.

  Why was she here when she had so much to do? She hadn’t even begun the costumes for Mary and Joseph and the magi. And then there was Pearl’s wedding dress. With her friend occupied, this would be the perfect opportunity to finish the bodice.

  Instead, Pearl waved her over. “I need you to help me teach lines to the children. Could you take Isaac, Sadie and Angela Wardman?”

  Angela was playing the angel of the Lord who announced the birth to the shepherds.

  Amanda sighed as she accepted the sheets of paper from Pearl. There went her chance to get more sewing done. She would tackle the costumes this evening. The wedding dress would have to wait for another opportunity. Perhaps she could talk Garrett into inviting Pearl and Roland to Sunday dinner. No, that wouldn’t work, because then he’d want her to do the cooking. It would have to be the other way around. Roland inviting his brother’s family to join Pearl and him, but then Pearl would be stuck cooking.

  Amanda gave up and gathered the three children to the back corner, farthest from the construction noise.

  “It’s snowing,” Angela announced.

  Amanda looked out the window at the lazy flakes and smiled. “Just in time for Christmas.”

  “We can’t stay if it snows too much. Mama said I have to bring Beth home if it starts snowing.”

  Amanda sighed. Based on that stipulation, Angela probably should take her little sister home now, but the snowflakes were few. None were sticking on the ground yet. They hadn’t had much cold weather this month beyond that fateful snowfall when she went sledding with Garrett. The memory sent heat to her cheeks. She couldn’t resist looking in his direction. Once again Fiona had cornered him. Her head nearly touched his as they peered at her sketch for the backdrop. Now that was enough to cool any blush.

  Amanda drew her attention back to the children, all of whom were
watching her intently.

  “I’ll keep watch,” she promised eleven-year-old Angela, “and let you know if it begins to snow any harder.”

  The girl accepted that without question. The children here were so willing to trust. It hadn’t been that way in the orphanage or at the Chatsworths’ house. Lena had viewed Amanda with suspicion from the moment she arrived. The brother, Edward Jr., who was enrolled in an elite boarding school, barely noticed her existence when he came home on holiday. She might have been another servant for all he cared. Here, the children relied on the decisions of their elders.

  Amanda glanced at the window again. The snow had picked up but still wasn’t accumulating. However, if this continued, three-quarters of the children would need to leave.

  “I have the most important speech,” Angela was telling Isaac and Sadie.

  “Well, I’m playing Jesus’s father,” Isaac responded, his face darkening just the way his father’s did when he was upset. “That’s the most important part.”

  “Everyone’s role is important.” Amanda tried to regain control of the rapidly disintegrating situation. “That’s why you need to learn your lines.”

  “I know mine,” Angela stated. “‘Fear not, for I bring you good tidings of great joy.’” She then proceeded to recite the entire passage, not quite accurately, ending with, “‘He’ll be wrapped in swatting clothes and sleeping in a manger.’”

  Amanda tried to stifle a smile. “Thank you, Angela. Clearly, you’ve practiced.”

  “I can remember anything I read. It’s simple.”

  “Well, we’ll still need to practice.” And teach her the correct words.

  “I can do all the practicing I need at home,” Angela informed her. “I don’t need this silly rehearsal. I know my part, even though I have the most lines.”

  Oh, dear. Sadie’s thumb was back in her mouth, and Isaac looked ready to smack the older, taller girl.

  “It doesn’t matter how many lines you have,” Amanda tried to explain, but the children weren’t listening.