by Alexis Anne
Was I lying? No. I wasn’t. But I wasn’t in tune with myself either. I was going through the motions, repeating old habits and expecting the same results. I groaned as he eased inside again and slid his hands over my arms. “Don’t think,” he whispered. “Just feel.”
His heavy body pressing me into the mattress. That’s what I felt first and most. My hips rolled, searching, wanting friction and to be used. That was the truth. “I do like it hard, Leo. I do. But I think you’re right. Hard is only really good after soft.”
He groaned, closing his eyes and gritting his teeth. “Jesus you feel good, love. So fucking tight around me.”
That gave me a thrill that I felt right down to my toes. “I haven’t been with anyone for a very long time. Just you, Leo.” I knew how much guys liked hearing they were the only one.
His eyes flew open, both angry and curious at the same time. “Don’t say what you think I want to hear. I fucking hate that.” Then he thrust hard and deep just once. “I say what I mean and I expect the same in return.” He ground against my clit until I moaned. “Your pussy is hot and so wet for me. It fits me like a damn glove. I don’t fucking care if I’m your first or last. All that matters is that right now you’re mine.”
I fluttered around him, shocked at how effectively he was able to turn me on with his words as much as his eyes, mouth, and dick. That was a damn fine skill.
“I’m yours, Leo.” His hands pressed my arms into the mattress. The feeling of restriction making me crave a good hard pounding. “I want your hands on me holding me down. I don’t want to move until you come inside me. Maybe not even then.”
“We’re finally getting somewhere. I believed most of that.” He pulled back enough to gain access to my breasts, sucking each nipple into his mouth for a long, hard taste. He stretched me further, pressing my arms straight above my head as he sucked. I tried to watch but couldn’t quite get the angle right. I caught a few glances of his dark eyes and hollowed cheeks, but mostly I gave in to the pressure of his hands holding me down, closing my eyes and listening to his moans of delight.
Yes, Leo was fucking delighted to be feasting on my breasts.
And so was I. He was a master of nipple play and I was just about to tip over the edge. “Leo. Please? I need you hard and fast.”
“Fuck yeah you do,” he growled, rearing up over me. His fingers became vices. And then . . . he slammed into me. Over and over. I couldn’t move and I didn’t want to. He filled me to the brink and took it all away. My orgasm chased back at the sudden change and the new sensations of being pounded.
I was grateful because the last thing I wanted was for it to be over so soon. I needed a chance to feel all of this. It was how I got my high, how I dealt with my world. It was only through these nights of pleasure, of being consumed, that I was able to get up the next day and function.
Leo’s grunts fueled me as my body coiled tight all over again. The way his shoulders worked and his biceps tensed while holding me down were an aphrodisiac all their own. As he slammed into me it sent shockwaves through my body, first at the point of our hips impacting, then over my skin as it vibrated, then through my core as his cock reached deep inside me.
“I can’t . . . I can’t take anymore. I’m coming!” My inner muscles locked, fluttered, pulsed.
“Then tell me to stop.”
I didn’t tell him to stop because I didn’t want him to. As much as it hurt and overwhelmed, this was the part I wanted more than anything else. “No.”
Leo kept his eyes on mine the entire time. He watched carefully for any signs he had gone too far, clearly ready to stop all of this the moment he detected any changes from me. When he was sure I was telling the truth he picked up the pace. “You’ll take all of me then. You’ll take what I give and you’ll like it.”
How was he able to do that without belittling me? It was a new and, quite frankly, wonderful change from what I was used to. He never called me a bitch or cunt. He didn’t degrade me.
“God, Leo.” My orgasm climbed higher and higher as he pounded me. “Oh god.” Tears sprang into my eyes.
“You’re mine tonight, love,” he growled. “All mine.”
The tension snapped and I came hard. Tears poured from my eyes but Leo kept his thrusts hard and steady, forcing me to feel every sensitive inch of my body from my pulsing clitoris to my throbbing pussy. My channel squeezed his cock, attempting and failing to keep him inside. I wanted to ride him. I struggled to break free, roll him over and take him the way I wanted, but he held me down. I came and came, yelling and fighting him until finally . . . finally he came too.
CHAPTER 2
Present Day
I told Leo everything. I expected him to run in the opposite direction as fast as he could. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he went straight to Capp and Dixon and gave them every one of my secrets. I certainly didn’t expect him to fall harder for me or to fuck me in my secret bunker as if he were branding me.
Even after all that I didn’t really expect him to come back from his meeting with the agents. I spent those hours packing my things and loading my car. If he took any longer I was going to take the hint and leave.
I wouldn’t blame him.
Who could possibly love a monster?
There were kids who feared the shadows. I was not one of them. I made the shadows my home.
Just as I was about to grab my keys, Leo pulled into the driveway. I downed the rest of my wine—not smart if I was about to drive across town—but then again, I needed the liquid courage to survive looking into Leo’s eyes again.
He quietly shut and locked the door, dropping his keys into the bowl. He looked so damn good, even after a very long and exhausting day. His blue suit ran along every line. There was no sagging or bunching. The color complimented his skin tone and eyes. I swear he glowed in blue.
I watched as he unbuttoned the blazer and slid it off his shoulders before folding it over the stool. His eyes ran over me, deciding something, then he took my hand and gently led me to the bathroom.
The first thing I felt was relief because oh god yes he didn’t hate me, but the second thing I felt was destruction. As if everything I knew was about to crumble to dust.
All because this man wouldn’t leave me alone.
I cried as he stripped me naked, cried as he kissed away my tears with loving caresses, cried as he drew us both into the sanctuary of running water.
I knew what he was doing. In here we could talk without fear of being heard. When he whispered in my ear it was for me and me alone. No listening device could pick it up.
In a way I was his doll. Esme Brown had called it a night. Packed it in. Shut down. I let him move and position me, wash my hair and run soap over my skin. He loved me, lulled me into a sense of safety, before he said a single word.
He turned me so that I faced the tiled wall, the water at my back. He brushed all my hair over my left shoulder, pressing his hard body against mine, his lips against my ear.
“What little they know of the truth is impressive, Esme.” He massaged my arms and lower back. “They have no idea.”
No idea it was a twenty-nothing girl in college who fixed professional football games, making sure millions of dollars flowed into specific sets of hands. No idea it was a pissed off daughter sending a giant fuck you to her father by scamming his team right under his nose.
Ten years ago the only people involved thought I was the messenger, not the mastermind. They believed I was a gift sent to them as reward for their compliance. I played the part of willing victim to cover my tracks. I thought I’d covered them so well that no one would ever discover my secrets.
But someone did. Someone even smarter than me. Someone who took my formula and was now using it on a much grander scale.
“Who else knows?” he whispered in my ear as he pet and kneaded my backside.
I guess I couldn’t say “no one” anymore. Leo knew. Someone knew. I turned my head just enough to whisper back. Leo pul
led me flush against his body, trapping his erection against me. “The five football players only thought I was the messenger. I delivered their scripts. We never spoke outside the club.”
Leo moved his hand between my legs, stroking, massaging, pinching, until I moaned. “I want to know all about these nights at the club, Esme.” He nipped at my earlobe and rolled his hips against me. “And I’m not talking about script exchanges.”
Both his hands moved up my stomach to cup my breasts. He weighed and massaged as his breath grew ragged at my ear. Leo was a revelation.
I discovered sex at a fairly young age. Not intercourse. Not yet. But the act of pleasure, of experiencing an orgasm, was something I did to myself entirely by accident. Looking back I think I’d describe it as my very first wet dream. I woke up wrapped around my pillow as my body pulsed. I had no idea what happened but I wanted it to happen again.
Perhaps the unfortunate part was that I discovered pleasure at the same time I discovered a need to escape from my real life. It seamlessly became my default, the place I went when I didn’t know what else to do. Masturbation became exploring intercourse with boys at school, exploring led me to wanting it all the time.
The sex I knew before Leo was about control, getting a high, and manipulation. It was a tool. I didn’t know there was an emotional component until the night we met. I always thought those love scenes in books and movies were an entirely different kind of love. The sappy, emotional, superficial joining of lives.
I had no idea one man could consume my mind and my body so completely, or that he could understand the layers of physical and emotional pleasure—that sometimes they were the same, but other times they were completely separate.
When Leo said he wanted to know about the club, he meant it. He understood it. He lived it. He didn’t judge me for it and he certainly wasn’t jealous. He wanted to picture all the ways it was the same was what he knew, and all the ways it was different.
“The club fulfilled my needs at the time.” I was starting grad school and going through a painful breakup. I needed to separate out the parts of my life. By day I went to school and worked my ass off. By night I required physical bliss as a reward for successfully plotting to destroy my father’s empire.
“And do I fulfill your physical needs now?” He used my nipples to draw circles on the wet tile.
I squeezed my legs together, my core pulsing and empty. “Yes. More than anyone ever has.”
He groaned, releasing my breasts to take his cock in hand. “I’m going in bare. Say you understand me.”
“I understand.” We had unprotected sex from time to time and Leo always made sure it was clear to both of us when we did.
“Fuck, you feel good.” He shuddered as he sank slowly inside. The head of his cock stretched me with a sharp bite of pain. “Are you all right? Answer me.”
“Yes,” I nodded more than spoke, resting my head against the shower wall. I descended into the sensations, let the electricity wash over my skin and erase the thoughts from my mind.
“I want you to listen to me, Esme.” He sank in another inch. His hands began kneading my hips as he ever so slowly stroked me with his cock. “They don’t know anything, love. We’ll find out who’s behind this and we’ll stop it. No one will know about your past but me.” He thrust hard and deep, then stopped, molding his strong body to mine. “You’re safe with me. I promise you.”
“I know, Leo.” My voice wasn’t much more than a whisper. “You’re the only one I trust.”
He drew back, using the long, slow slide of his shaft to force me to feel every inch of him. He slipped back in just as slowly. “Close your eyes, darling. Feel me moving inside you.”
With my eyes closed all I could hear was the rush of water mixed with Leo’s pants, and all I could feel was the way he used his shaft to slide along my bundle of nerves until my inner muscles began to flutter and quiver. Nothing else existed but this moment. No agents or private investigators, no classes to teach or world mysteries to solve. Right now I was a woman being thoroughly loved by a man.
There was nothing more fundamental.
CHAPTER 3
I stared at my clothes for a long time. On the left were my “Dr. Brown” clothes. My sweaters, blazers, jeans, and comfy shirts. In the middle were my “Esme” clothes. The pencil skirts and blouses, high heels, and dresses. I loved this part of my closet. In many ways it was the most “me” of any of it. On the right were my Rosalind Brown clothes. I hated those clothes but I needed them. My clothes represented the roles I needed to play and Rosalind’s were the ones I needed the most. Slipping back into my old life took an entire shift in my brain to complete. Usually.
“Not today,” I muttered, my hand moving from the conservative black cocktail dress I knew I should wear in order to draw as little attention as possible. But you see, I was tired of hiding. Tired of being wrong. So instead I selected a black strapless dress I knew Leo would love. I placed it in a garment bag and zipped it closed. The red heels and makeup went in my giant handbag.
“Ready for work?” Leo asked from the doorway.
For work I wore my favorite jeans, red flats, and a red sweater under my black blazer, and Leo seemed to be drinking up every inch. He was taking me to work today so he could pick me up on the way to my father’s party. It was my first time bringing him as my date and I was a little nervous.
Okay, there was nothing little about my amount of nervous.
“How would you feel about office sex before the party?” I twisted my fingers together because I knew he was going to say no. As much as sex was my go-to move for instant calm, Leo preferred to save the kink for later. And today . . . I was going to need the kink in the same way some women needed a hot bath and a glass of wine after a hard day.
“Love, you know I’m always in the mood for sex with you. Anytime, anywhere, but I don’t think you’ll want me ruining your dress and makeup.” He sucked a kiss to my neck then whispered, “And trust me, I’d ruin them.”
I swayed toward him. “If you ruin them then we won’t have to go.”
He took my chin between his finger and thumb, gazing into my eyes until I was well and thoroughly hypnotized. “And lose a chance like this? No.”
Pretty much the only reason I ever showed up when my father called was to exploit the opportunity for information. I asked Leo to come with me because I knew tonight I’d be able to put the pieces together. I could feel it. I also told him because I could feel how desperately I didn’t want to go. And not going, despite my instinct to flee, was not an option.
“But,” he murmured low and sexy, “I promise to fuck you any way you wish afterward. Deal?”
“Deal,” I grumbled. It wasn’t what I wanted but it would have to do.
Work went by in a whirlwind, mercifully. It was one of the things I loved about my job. Between my students and classes, the lab, and the research, I rarely had time to stop.
I was just finishing up work on a new interactive map for the website when Jeffry popped in. “Now that is cool. Show me how it works.”
To say I was proud of my work was an understatement, but this project in particular got me really excited. Needless to say, I was happy to show it off. “Now that we have permission to use most of the data we’ve collected we’re launching a new website. People all over the world will be able to trace history geographically and through time. This section of the website is strictly educational. It’ll be great for students working on school projects or history buffs who enjoy learning.”
Jeffry ran his palms together. “And the other sections?”
“A partnership with the computer science department. They’ve created two games. One is a mystery. Players are given clues and they use the real data on the website to solve it. The other is a first person adventure game. There is a free version available to everyone and a paid version with more levels and options. The hope is the paid version will fund the website while the free version gets us free word-of-mouth publ
icity.”
“Fucking genius.” Jeffry took my seat and began playing with the design. “Is there a beta version? I’d be more than happy to help test it.”
I was absolutely sure of that. “We’re working on details now. I’ll make sure you get invited to the beta when it launches.”
He gasped as he clicked through the adventure game and a three-dimensional recreation of an Egyptian pyramid appeared along with a map, inviting him inside. “This is incredible! It looks real!”
“That’s because it is real. Archaeologists have scanned these pyramids inside and out. Depending on where you are in time the game either shows you the pyramids as they are now, or the recreated versions as they would have been. This is the real deal, we’re just putting it into a narrative that makes sense to more people.”
He sat back in the chair with his fingers interlaced behind his head. “This is the future of teaching history.”
That was the idea. In a perfect world this technology would be in classrooms. Whether it worked remained to be seen. “It’s expensive and time consuming but this data needs to exist somewhere the public can access it.”
“They have access, Esme, they just don’t know they do. And even when they know they don’t care because it’s boring. This isn’t boring.”
“Storytelling is what makes us human. The ability to convey thoughts to another person, to see places we’ve never been and experience feelings from events we’ve never experienced, is what makes us unique. We’ve been telling stories since the beginning of time. We work so hard to preserve those cave paintings and funeral rites, but if we don’t tell the story then we can’t relate. It’s why people love a big sweeping historical blockbuster. They have a hero they can root for, a villain they can hate, and a world to lose themselves inside. Facts aren’t stories. Facts aren’t human. This,” I waved at the computer, “is my attempt at making facts resemble a story. You don’t just read information about pyramids or Pharaohs, you go inside, you become them.”
