Reed and I had a one-night stand.
Cora seemed to have a tougher time accepting that than I did. Just because I was understandably upset whenever I’d heard that he’d been hurt didn’t mean that I was fragile where he was concerned.
“How’s he doing?” I asked Isabelle, even though I knew the answer to that. Reed had undergone six surgeries in the last three months to repair the damage to his lower leg caused by an explosion in Afghanistan, and I’d visited him after each one. That he hadn’t been conscious and never knew that I was there didn’t matter. It wasn’t like I thought that Reed would expect a visit from me, and since Amber wanted him back I didn’t want to complicate things.
I’d never told Isabelle about what happened between Reed and I. It wasn’t as if I meant to keep it from her, it just never came up and Isabelle was determined that Reed would get back together with Amber. Since I loved Isabelle and didn’t want things to be awkward between us, I figured she was better off not knowing about my one-night stand with Reed. Sometimes I wished I could forget about her brother, but whenever I’d meet a guy that I liked I would start comparing him to Reed Bentley. No man had ever made me feel even a glimmer of what I’d felt with Reed, and I wondered if I was destined to end up alone.
When I was working I’d ask the other nurses about him, and I’d leave him things I knew he liked—mystery books, sketchpads and daisies. I wasn’t sure if he liked the daisies or not, but I thought they made the room a little cheerier.
“He’s been down lately, but I guess that’s to be expected. Three months in and out of the hospital sucks, but he’s being released soon, and I’m hoping Amber can cheer him up.”
“I’m sure she will,” I said with forced enthusiasm.
Cora gave me a sympathetic look but, luckily, she waited until Isabelle had glanced away. Isabelle and Cora danced with Faded and Dark Jeans, leaving me alone with thoughts of Reed.
He and I had emailed while he’d been in Afghanistan. When I’d received the first one asking how I was doing, I’d only intended to reply to the one email and thought anything more would be awkward. I’d been wrong. Looking forward to emails from Reed had become a hobby of mine over the last two years. I’d even memorized some of them.
Reed,
I was surprised to hear from you. I’m glad to know that you’re safe and I pray that you’ll continue to stay that way.
Isabelle, Cora and I went to The Pit tonight. I thought of you. The live band was amazing. Cora has a crush on the drummer, and I think Isabelle has a date tomorrow night with the lead singer. You probably don’t want to hear about this.
I’m taking eighteen college hours this semester, and I’ve been busy but I like it. My counselor says if I keep taking this kind of load, I’ll graduate in two more years.
Izzy and Ellie are a popular act. I guess Isabelle probably told you. It’s fun working with your sister. The kids at the hospital love us and I love making them smile.
I don’t want to bore you. So I’ll stop here. Take care Reed. Be safe. ~ Ellie
Ellie,
You could never bore me. I love hearing all about what’s going on in your life. The ordinary things are what I miss, and I enjoy hearing about yours. It makes me less homesick.
The nights are difficult. That’s when I think of you the most. I sense that you don’t want to talk about what happened between us, and we don’t have to. I still think about that night, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.
Write to me about whatever you like. Just write to me. Please. ~ Reed
Reed,
I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept thinking about you and hoping that you’re okay. I pray that you’re safe.
Last night I realized how much I don’t know about you, so I thought we could exchange a few basic facts. I’ll start. My full name is Eleanor Madison McAllister. I was born on August 7th. My favorite color is green. Daisies are my favorite flower, and I love to run. I read romance novels and love most movies except for horror. I hope you don’t think all of this is silly.
In the summer Dad and I head for the hill country and we love to tube the Rio Frio. I think it’s one of the most beautiful places on earth. If I could go anywhere in the world, I’d go to Hawaii because that’s where my Mom always wanted to go, but she never got the chance.
Take care, Reed. ~Ellie
Ellie,
I’d love to go to Hawaii with you. Maybe someday. When I can’t sleep at night, I think of you. You fascinate me, Ellie McAllister. No, I don’t think anything you say is silly.
My middle name is Michael. I was born on July 17. My favorite color is blue—like your eyes. Daisies were my mom’s favorite flower. I like to run, and one day I’d like to play golf. I’d like to watch any movie with you. I’ve never read a romance novel, but I like to read. Mostly I go for the true-crime or mysteries. Isabelle and I used to go to Galveston in the summers. If I could go anywhere in the world, I’d come home.
Write me back. ~Reed
I kept writing him back until six months ago when Isabelle told me that Amber had broken up with Cade, and wanted to get back together with Reed. Actually, I didn’t just stop emailing him because that didn’t feel right. Instead, I wrote less frequently and tried not to open up to him more than I already had for fear of having my heart completely shattered when he came home to Amber.
Reed knew something was wrong. For three months, he asked what had happened. I emailed him back, telling him I’d just been busy but he knew something was wrong. Three months after that, Isabelle got the news that Reed’s camp was bombed and he was MIA. The news was devastating, and during those horrible days, when I’d thought he was gone, I realized the extent of my feelings for him.
After two years of trying to convince myself that I was over him, I realized I was still in love with Reed Bentley.
Chapter 4
“Ellie, are you really a clown?”
The question came from a five-year-old girl named Savannah, who’d just had her appendix taken out and was recovering from the surgery.
“Don’t you think I look like a clown?” I said, lifting the sides of my polka-dotted skirt and holding the edges out. Slowly, I turned in a circle so that she could get the full effect of my clown attire--suspenders, white puffy leaves, hot pink hair and all.
Savannah laughed. “You look like Sarena Sparkle! Her eyes are glittery like yours.”
“You’re right. Sarena inspired me.”
Frowning, Savannah asked, “What does i-ispired mean?”
“It means that she gave me a terrific idea. But since it’s important to be your own person, I didn’t want to copy Sarena exactly so the hot pink ponytails and colorful outfit are my own.”
“That makes her unique,” Savannah’s mother, Mary, added smiling appreciatively at me. “Thank you so much for what you’ve done for my daughter.”
“I’m glad that I could make Savannah’s stay little easier.”
“What’s u-neek?” asked Savannah.
“It means special, like Ellie,” Mary told her daughter and then she hugged me. I felt on top of the world, and I loved the happiness I’d brought to them.
I’d graduated from the University of Houston six months ago and had quickly gotten a job with the VNT, the visiting nurses team, but I still worked a few days a week with Isabelle.
Before I left I made a mermaid balloon for Savannah and promised to see her before she checked out. Glancing at my watch, I debated going to see Reed. I knew that he usually took a nap after therapy, but it was later than I normally visited him.
The desire to see him was too tempting and I made my way to the orthopedic wing, where Reed had a private room. Sticking my head inside, I saw that he was still sleeping and breathed a sigh of relief. Quietly, I walked into the room and drank in the sight of him.
His dark hair had grown out a lot since from the buzz cut he’d had when he’d first been brought in, and I could tell he’d lost weight but for someone who’d been throu
gh what Reed had, he looked good. He was dressed in a gray t-shirt and black sweats that were cut at the knee because his lower left leg was encircled in what was called a IIizarov apparatus, a device used to treat multiple tibia and fibula breaks.
My gaze moved back to his face and locked eyes with Reed. I was so startled that he was awake and watching me watch him that I actually gasped. “You’re awake. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
He looked at me for a long moment, his eyes never leaving mine. “I wasn’t asleep, Ellie. I knew you wouldn’t come in if you thought I was awake.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond.
“Someone has been leaving me gifts along with white daisies.” His eyes locked with mine. “I’ve asked around, but no one knows where they come from.” Reed reached over and pushed the buttons on the side of his bed, and the bed lifted to a sitting position.
I was ninety-nine percent sure I’d been found out, but didn’t want to admit it or make a big deal. “Well, do you like the stuff?” I asked, my heart thumping madly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the sketchpad I’d bought lying open on the bedside table, a drawing of majestic house covering the page.
“I do.”
“Then I don’t see the problem.” I shifted, uneasy beneath his steady, unwavering gaze.
“There’s no problem, except I wish you’d have dropped them off while I was awake. I would have liked to thank you in person.”
I closed my eyes, trying to calm the storm that had built and broke inside of me. “You’re welcome.”
“I didn’t just want to thank you, Ellie. I wanted to see you again.”
“Why?” I asked genuinely surprised by this. We’d had one amazing night, but it was only that. With all of the things Isabelle had told me about him and Amber, it was clear to me that they belonged together.
Reed frowned. “What do you mean ‘why’?”
He was obviously upset with me, and I wasn’t sure what to say. “I meant why would you want to see me again?” I said, thinking he’d misunderstood me.
“Yeah, I got that. I was hit in the leg Ellie, not the head.” Reed shifted in the bed and winced. The EKG machine began an insistent beep and I frowned. Instinctively, I reached out and placed my hand over Reed’s heart, hoping to soothe him. At first he tensed beneath my touch, but then he put his hand over mine and I felt him relax.
“I’m sorry, Reed,” I said softly, silently willing him to understand. “I guess I didn’t think you’d want to see me. You’re the only one-night-stand I’ve ever had, and I’m not sure how to act around you.”
I didn’t understand the flash of pain his eyes, but it felt good when he gently squeezed my hand and rubbed the pad of his thumb over my knuckles. “Don’t apologize. I’m mad at myself not you. Ellie, I never thought of you as a one-night-stand. If that’s what you think, I guess I see why you might feel uncomfortable around me.”
It felt like we’d picked right up where we left off two years ago, and whatever connection we’d made that night was still tying us together.
“I looked forward to every email you sent me. At the very least, I thought that you and I were friends.”
“I’d like to be your friend, Reed.”
Reed looked like he wanted to say something else, but the nurse came in to take his vitals.
“You look good,” I told him after the nurse left.
“Thanks. So do you. I like the pink hair and glitter.”
I’d forgotten about my clown outfit until that moment, and I laughed. “I heard from a reliable source that I look unique.”
“Yeah, you do,” Reed agreed with a smile. “Ellie, I’ve thought about that night a lot. I didn’t want to bring it up in an email, but I want you to know that if I had to do it over again, I promise I’d make it better for you.”
Since that night was already perfect, what he was saying would have been impossible. I hadn’t actually meant to say that aloud, and from the expression on Reed’s face he hadn’t expected it either.
“So you don’t think of me as the asshole that took your virginity? I guess you’re still pretty innocent or you’d know how much I sucked as a lover that night.”
Thinking he was joking, I smiled. “It wasn’t that bad,” I assured him, sobering at the look on his face. “Was it?”
Reed lips lifted at the corners. “I should have made it better for you.”
“I thought it was beautiful.”
“I wasn’t careful enough. I hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me Reed, and I don’t regret anything that happened between us that night. I told you that two years ago.”
“I remember, but when you didn’t come visit me I thought you might have changed your mind. I was going to call you, but I thought you’d come when you were ready.”
“So you decided to trick me by pretending to be asleep?” I asked with a smile in my voice.
He shrugged, seeming uncomfortable. “I was hoping you’d eventually want to see me.”
We stared at each other silently for a long moment. I had the strange feeling I’d hurt his feelings, and I didn’t like it. My phone beeping and I started. Tapping the screen, I frowned.
“I have to go,” I said, glancing at my watch.
“Hot date?” he asked, cocking a dark brow.
“With a seamstress,” I explained. “My cousin Brooke is getting married, and I’m being measured for a bridesmaid dress. I’ll come back and visit you, when you’re awake,” I promised.
“I’m going home next week.” He eyes held mine.
“That’s great!”
“Yeah, I’m sick of hospital food.”
I smiled. “I’ll visit you sometime.” I wasn’t sure that I would, and Reed seemed to know that.
I saw the disappointment in his eyes but he didn’t say anything except, “See you around, Ellie.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you around,” I told him, pulling my hand from beneath his. “Take care of yourself.”
Once I’d left the room, I glanced back at his door and whispered, “Goodbye, Reed.” Closure was way overrated.
Chapter 5
I barely had enough time to make it back to my apartment to shower and change before meeting Aunt Lacy and Brooke. Slipping into a simple, black knit dress with sandals and pulling my hair into a low ponytail, I ran out the door knowing what a stickler for punctuality Aunt Lacy was.
Luckily, I walked through Meghan’s Bridal Shop right on time. My family was, of course, waiting on me. One day I was going to arrive before them, unfortunately, I was fairly sure I’d have to get wherever I was going a whole hour early for that to happen.
“Hi, Aunt Lacy. Hi, Brooke.”
“It’s so nice of you to join us, Ellie,” Aunt Lacy replied coolly.
“Mom, Ellie is only a few minutes late.” Brooke smiled sympathetically.
Late? I glanced at my watch. Twice. I was not late! Opening my mouth to protest, I stopped when I noticed how elegantly they were both dressed and I glanced down self-consciously.
Brooke, who looked like a real-life version of Barbie, was wearing slim black slacks, a snowy-white, wrap-around blouse and ultra-expensive looking heels. She’d adorned the outfit with diamond earrings, a glimmering tennis bracelet, and the multi-karat, platinum engagement ring that Davis had given her.
Aunt Lacy looked like Brooke’s older sister with a trendy angled bob, and she was dressed in a sleek black dress than made my own look like I’d it from a discount store, which it had.
“Ellie, dear, you look absolutely…quaint,” Aunt Lacy offered, waving French manicured hand in front of my $19.99 dress. “Where did you get that dress?”
I told her.
Aunt Lacy and Brooke exchanged a look before they started laughing. “Oh no, Mother. I think she’s serious.”
Their laughter vanished and both mother and daughter’s expressions morphed into false sympathy. “If you and your father need some money, we’d be delighted to help out.”
“I
appreciate that,” I managed with a straight face. “But we’re doing fine. Thank you for the offer, though.”
Aunt Lacy’s lips pressed together, but her regularly scheduled Botox injections would not allow her to frown. Brooke pouted. Clearly she’d hoped for more of a reaction from me, but I’d learned that getting upset with them only hurt me and entertained them. Unless I was willing to write off my mother’s family, I had to pretend that their disapproval didn’t affect me.
My mother’s twin brother, Jonathon, was Vice President of a local drilling company, and he kept the family in a luxurious lifestyle with a mansion in the prominent King’s Forest community, fancy cars, first-class dining and shopping sprees that cost more than my rent. Dad said they had no appreciation for money and that they couldn’t really afford all of those things they bought. He’d be fine if we never saw the Donovans again but he tried for my sake, to get along with them.
When I was younger I didn’t understand why Aunt Lacy and Brooke didn’t like me, and dealing with them wasn’t always easy especially when Brooke was part of the group of kids in school that had made fun of Cora and me. Dad and Cora didn’t understand how I could be so kind to them, but it was because I understood something they didn’t; Uncle Jonathon, Aunt Lacy and Brooke were the unhappiest people I knew.
Not one of them ever laughed until they doubled over and tears filled their eyes. They rarely smiled, and they were never genuinely satisfied with any of the expensive things they had. Unlike Dad and I, the Donovans didn’t appreciate the simple things in life and found no happiness in anything.
When I was in the fourth grade I was assigned the hummingbird for my research project, and I dived into it enthusiastically, curious about the little birds. Dad bought us a feeder and I followed the recipe to make their food. Not long after that I’d pointed out a group of hummingbirds to Aunt Lacy and Brooke, but they’d dismissed the birds even when I pointed how amazing they were.
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