“What is it then? Tell me.” He frowned, and I felt his body suddenly tense. “Are you involved with someone?”
“It’s Amber.”
Reed just stared at me. “You’re involved with Amber?”
“No!” I felt my cheeks flush. “Not that I think there would be anything wrong with that if I felt that way about Amber, but I don’t.”
Reed rubbed the back of his hand over his jaw and looked at me as if trying to decide if I was crazy. “I don’t understand.”
“Aren’t you getting back together with Amber?”
“I’m trying to get together with you, but I’m apparently doing a damned poor job of it if you can’t even tell what I’m doing.”
My brain felt like it had short-circuited. Nothing Reed could have said to me would have come as more of a shock, not after everything I knew about him and Amber. “You want to get together with me?” I said in disbelief.
“Ellie, I was going to call you, but then you showed up at my hospital room that day and you seemed, I don’t know, skittish. Isabelle mentioned that your ex-boyfriend is marrying Brooke, and I thought you might be still hung up on him. I’d planned to give you some space, but here you.”
“Reed, I’m your nurse from the VNT.”
His brow furrowed and he watched me, frowning.
“Remember, a nurse was supposed to come visit you today from the VNT and check your leg? That’s me.” I gestured at my navy-blue scrubs.
Reed was silent for several moments, and he slowly nodded in understanding. “I see. You’re not here because you wanted to see me. I’m your job.”
“You know you’re not just a job to me. I care about you, Reed.” Silently, I begged him to believe me.
“Don’t say anything you don’t mean, Ellie.”
“Amber thinks the two of you are getting back together. I wish things were different.”
“Ellie, Amber and I are not getting back together. If you’re not interested I’ll accept that. You don’t have to lie to me.”
“I’m not lying,” I protested.
“Ellie, maybe you should go,” he said calmly.
I could tell he was disappointed, but it struck a nerve that he asking me to leave. I was frustrated and I was hurt, but I was not leaving. Not yet.
“I’m not going anywhere until I look at your leg.”
“My leg is fine.”
“I’ll have to see for myself,” I insisted.
“Are you always this bossy with your patients?”
“Only when they call me liar.”
His eyes flashed with regret, and his brows drew together in a frown. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
It wasn’t an apology, but if we were going to call a truce I’d have to meet him halfway. “I didn’t mean to upset you. If you want to ask for another nurse, I’ll understand.”
He looked as if he was considering what I’d said. “If you think I’m going to call your boss and complain about you because you won’t go out with me, then you can relax. I’m not that big of an ass.”
I blinked, surprised. “I don’t think that. You’re just a lousy judge of character because I’ve never been anything but honest with you.”
We stared at one another for several tense heartbeats before Reed broke the silence. “Tell me you don’t feel something between us.” His steady footsteps ate the distance between us.
“I feel it Reed. I’ve always felt it.” He reached for me and I stepped back, afraid of what I’d let happen if he touched me.
“You really do think I have something going on with Amber. What can I do to fix this?”
“She loves you so much,” I whispered.
“Ellie,” Reed said softly, taking my hand.
I pulled it back quickly. “I have another stop. I should look at your leg, Reed.”
He didn’t argue, and fifteen minutes later I left Reed’s house and went to see my dad. He wasn’t home, but Jack greeted me with big, wet kisses and listened intently while I vented and said all of the things to Jack that I couldn’t say to Reed.
Chapter 7
I couldn’t stop thinking about the grim picture Isabelle had painted of her and Reed’s childhood, and it hurt remembering her heartbreaking tale. Their mom had been killed in a car crash when Reed was only four, Isabelle seven. Their dad had worked a lot while their mom was alive, but after she was gone the pressure of raising two kids without a wife was more than he could handle.
Darryl Bentley had always been a drinker, but it wasn’t until after his wife was gone that his sickness accelerated to a whole new level and he gradually turned into someone they didn’t recognize. A monster.
He started forgetting to do things like buying groceries, doing the laundry and housework. Isabelle and Reed had done what they could, but they were young, and it wasn’t the same as when their mother was alive. The first Christmas after their mom was gone had been the worst. They’d both wanted their mommy back something fierce and so they’d walked to the mall to see Santa and ask for her to come home, too innocent and full of belief to realize the impossibility of the request.
Isabelle had said she’d known something was wrong by the strange look that Santa had given her, but she did her best to assure Reed that everything was going to be okay. When they’d finally gotten home after walking a total of six miles to and from the mall in the bitter cold, their dad had been furious. He’d been stumbling around, screaming and smelling of the bottle. When he’d unfastened his belt, Isabelle said she hadn’t understood what he meant to do until he’d whipped them both.
Two weeks later, they awakened on Christmas morning to find their dad passed out beneath the Christmas tree, still drunk and lying in a pool of vomit.
“It’s his fault!” Reed had shouted angrily to Isabelle. “Santa didn’t come because of him! I hate him! I hate you!” His little fists had pounded Darryl until the man’s big fist slammed into Reed’s jaw knocking him out cold. That was the Christmas they learned that there was no Santa Claus.
After that nothing Reed did would please Darryl. It was as if Darryl hated him, and wanted to punish him for being alive. Isabelle had done as much as she could to protect Reed, but it wasn’t enough especially since Reed had done everything he could to shield his sister from Darryl’s wrath.
One afternoon Darryl had woken up still drunk and furious to find Reed gone. Isabelle, who’d been throwing up all day, hadn’t gone to school, but Reed had and she’d tried to tell Darryl that.
“Stupid little bastard!” He’d shouted stumbling out the door. “Wait till I get my hands on him!”
Isabelle began to cry and followed her dad to the bus stop where Reed was about to be dropped off. She needn’t have worried. Once five-year-old Amber Foster saw Reed’s dad, she calmly informed the bus driver that Reed was supposed to be dropped off at her house that day. Since Amber’s dad was a school board member, the bus driver didn’t hesitate and drove off leaving Darryl Bentley screaming and carrying on behind them.
Will Foster found out what happened and he insisted Reed spend the night, but Reed refused to leave his sister alone, so the Fosters went to pick up Isabelle as well. Isabelle begged Mr. and Mrs. Foster not to call Social Services. “They’ll separate Reed and I. Please,” she’d begged.
In the end Mr. Foster forced Darryl Bentley into rehab and insisted Isabelle and Reed stay with his family while their dad got help. Mr. Foster threatened to call Social Services and the police if Darryl didn’t complete the rehab or if anything abusive happened again.
Isabelle and Reed spent a lot of their childhood with the Fosters, and Reed and Amber became inseparable. Some of the kids at school had started making fun of Reed because of his old clothes and lack of school supplies, but Amber stood up to the bullies, taking Reed under her wing and insisting that her friends accept him.
They’d been best friends all throughout elementary school, and in middle school things between them changed. “Reed started watching Amber with a lo
ok in his eyes that I knew meant he was falling hard for her,” Isabelle had said. “When they were sixteen they were a couple, and I was sure nothing would ever break them up.”
But they had broken up. Amber had fallen for another guy and Reed had made love to Ellie. Was that too much for Reed and Amber to overcome? I fell asleep pondering the answer.
“Have you been avoiding me?”
Startled, I glanced up at Isabelle, who’d taken the vacant seat across from me at Rachel’s, our favorite coffee house.
“What? No, of course not,” I replied too quickly, feeling guilty for not being honest with her about Reed.
“Sheesh, relax. I was only joking.” Isabelle looked at me as if she thought I might have had too much coffee. “You should reconsider a second cup,” she added jokingly, nodding at my large sized coffee.
“Sorry, I’ve just been swamped with work.”
“Hey, I talked to Reed this morning and he mentioned that he had the best nurse in the entire city,” Isabelle said, smiling.
“Thanks. I was going to call you last night, but I went to visit Dad.”
“Don’t sweat it. I’ve been busy myself. Are we still on for this weekend?”
“Absolutely. Girls night out, I can’t wait.”
Isabelle hugged me and before she left and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was making a big deal out of nothing. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if Isabelle found out I’d slept with Reed or even if she found out that I was still harboring feelings for him, but it might put her in a difficult position since she was Amber’s friend.
I made a quick stop by the VNT office to turn in paperwork before heading out to see Reed. It was early and I didn’t run into anyone, which was good because I wasn’t in the mood to hear Sandy talk about giving Reed a bath. I knew she wasn’t serious, but I was still jealous. I didn’t want to hear about another woman seeing, or having her hands on, Reed’s naked body. Groaning in frustration, I reached for my coffee and told myself to stop acting ridiculous.
A half an hour later, I arrived at Reed’s picturesque home. He was sitting on the front porch with his laptop when I pulled up. After our meeting yesterday, I wasn’t sure what to expect from Reed and I walked cautiously towards him, curious and excited about what would happen between us today. He lifted his dark head and smiled and my stomach did a slow flip.
“You came back.” His deep leisurely drawl that sounded oh-so-sexy and made me want things I couldn’t have. Reed started to stand, but I shook my head and took a chair next to the patio sofa where he sat.
He was wearing a t-shirt, this one black with ARMY written on the front and gray sweats and he was sexier than any other man I’d ever seen. Apparently, I had a thing for men in t-shirts and sweats. No, I just had a thing for Reed.
“You didn’t think I would?” My voice actually shook.
He closed the laptop, set it on the table to his left and focused his attention on me. “I thought you’d come back. You’ve got mettle, and I am your patient.”
“Right. You are. I hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” I told him, nodding at his laptop.
“I’m taking some college courses online, but it’s nothing that can’t wait. I have a lot of time on my hands,” he said with a smile.
“That’s great. I mean, not that you have a lot of time to kill, but taking college classes is good. Anything interesting?”
“I’m finishing up some basic courses. Next semester I’ll start classes in my major.”
Intrigued, I asked, “What’s that?”
“Mechanical Engineering.”
“Wow. That’s impressive.”
Reed shrugged. “According to the army I have a knack for making things work, and it’s something I’m interested in. Do you want to go inside or can we do this here?” he asked, apparently ready to get down to business.
“Here is fine.” I pulled his file out of my bag and clicked my pen. “How have you been feeling?”
“Good.”
“Are you experiencing any pain?”
“Nothing unbearable.”
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate you level of pain?”
His dark brows drew together as he thought about it. “Two, maybe.”
I glanced up and locked eyes with Reed. “Hmm. A two,” I repeated, thinking it was probably more like a six or seven. “Are you sure?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Some patients, particularly men, tend to underestimate pain.”
He scoffed. “That’s a little sexist, don’t you think?”
At first I thought he was kidding, but after several tense moments and he hadn’t broken a smile, I realized I’d offended him. “You’re right. I should have said ‘Some people’ not ‘Some men’, but since its true that men do that and you’ve already told me you’re not going to call my boss and complain, I probably shouldn’t worry about it, right?”
“I said I wouldn’t complain to your boss because you wouldn’t go out with me. Sexism, well that’s something I take real serious.”
I looked up from my notes and stared at Reed, whose expression was grim, and I stiffened. “I’m sorry. The comment was unprofessional.”
His lips twitched. “Ellie, stop. I’m only messing with you.”
I exhaled in relief. “Yeah, I knew that.” I hadn’t. “Jerk,” I whispered softly, smiling.
“What was that Nurse McAllister?” he prodded with a smile in his voice.
“I said ‘hurt’. Where does it hurt?”
“Do you really want me to answer that?”
Something in his voice sent a shiver down my spine. I shouldn’t have done it, but my eyes slipped below his waist and landed on the unmistakable bulge in his sweats. I was suddenly hot. All over. I pressed my legs together and shifted in the cushiony chair, flushed and aroused. My gaze lifted to Reed’s and I saw that he was aware of my desire and as on fire as I was.
My hand that held the pen trembled, and I tried to remember what I was supposed to be asking him, but I was at a loss.
“You thought I was serious,” Reed chided gently. “I’d never do anything to hurt you, Ellie. I sure as hell wouldn’t complain about you no matter what you said or did.”
“That’s reassuring.”
“Feel free to say or do whatever you’d like with me, I won’t complain.”
“You’re flirting with me.”
Our gazes clashed and held.
“I won’t apologize for it.”
I felt edgy enough to jump right out of my skin. “I won’t ask you to.”
“So you’re not going to complain about me?” His gaze heated and melted into mine. “No matter what I say or do.”
I was burning up. “What are you going to do?” I asked breathlessly.
“That’s up to you. You’re calling the shots, sweetheart.”
I stood so quickly that the file on my lap dropped and papers scattered on the porch.
“This is wrong,” I muttered to myself.
“Because of Amber,” he said deliberately. “Ellie, has it occurred to you that you can’t make me be with another woman?”
“No.” Flustered, I clasped my hot cheeks with my hand.
“Think about it, Ellie. I have. All last night. You think that it’s best for Amber and me to get back together, but what if you’re wrong?”
I sank back down into the chair, confused. “I don’t know.”
Reed was watching me cautiously, as if he wanted to convince me but was unsure about how to do it. He reached out to touch me, but stopped and lowered his arm. “God, you’re sweet and selfless, but you have to know what you’re saying doesn’t make sense.”
“Can you honestly say you don’t have feelings for Amber?”
His steady gaze held mine. “No, I can’t. She’s been my friend for years. I feel something for her, but it’s not what you think.”
“Maybe if you gave it some time,” I suggested.
Reed let out a frustrate
d sigh and laughed humorlessly. “I can’t decide which I want to do to you more. Kiss you or spank you.”
My stomach did a double somersault. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“Have you ever done that?” I whispered, suddenly curious.
Reed laughed softly. “No, but we can try it if you want.”
I could tell he was joking, but the visual in my mind was surprisingly arousing.
“The idea turns you on,” Reed noted, his gaze heating. In an instant all playfulness vanished and he asked pointedly, “Have you ever done that?”
I opened my mouth to tell him that he was my only lover, but I stopped, intrigued and empowered by the jealousy in his eyes. Reed’s chiseled jaw clenched at my hesitation and a thrill shot through me at the possessiveness I sensed coming from him. “I’ve never done that.” I answered finally.
Reed let out a breath, visibly relieved. “I’m not in love with Amber.”
“You’re living together, Reed. Can you see how Amber and I might have my doubts about your feelings for her?”
He stared at me as if I’d grown another head. “Ellie, I live here.” He gestured toward the house. “Alone.”
I frowned. “This isn’t Amber’s house?”
“No. This is my house.”
I was relieved and speechless.
“You thought I was hitting on you while I was living in my ex-girlfriend’s house?” He raked a hand through his hair. “Maybe the reason you don’t want to go out with me has more to do with the fact that you think I’m the kind of guy who would do something like that.”
I’d misjudged him. Again. I didn’t know what to say so I apologized again. I examined his leg, and for the second time I left Reed’s house feeling like I’d just been hit by an emotional tornado.
Chapter 8
“My brain short circuited at the part where he said he couldn’t decide if he wanted to kiss you or spank you.” Cora’s eyes were sparkling with interest. “Sounds kinky and fun. Maybe you should have let him.”
I sat down on Cora’s bed and watched her apply a taupe eye shadow. “I thought about it,” I admitted.
Fireflies From Heaven Page 6
