Chapter 11
Three hours later Isabelle sat on the floor beside the coffee table at my dad’s house sipping on a screwdriver I’d made with the vodka in the cabinet. I told her to meet me here knowing Dad was still at work, and Jack liked the company. I was also hoping I could stop by Reed’s place on the way home.
“I shouldn’t have freaked out like I did,” Isabelle whispered. I’d never seen her look so broken, and it made me sad. She was always so strong and confident and full of life. “I’m scared for Reed,” she admitted, taking a sip of her drink.
A slither of unease weaved inside of me.
“Darryl was abusive to both of us, but Reed had it much worse than I did. It was like Darryl hated him. I’ve always prayed my brother didn’t have any lingering issues from the abuse, but I’m not sure.”
My heart was pounding. I couldn’t stand thinking of Reed and Isabelle as children and being hurt by the person that should have loved them the most.
“You know what a bastard Darryl was, but you don’t know everything that happened.” Isabelle’s haunted eyes met mine.
I was all of the sudden uneasy.
“Reed always had a strong effect on women even when was younger. When he was fifteen, he caught the attention of our landlord’s wife. She was rich and beautiful, and she looked at Reed in a way that no woman should look at a fifteen year-old boy.”
The hairs on the back of my neck lifted, anticipating what I knew was coming.
“Reed and I both worked, but one month we just couldn’t come up with the money for rent. Darryl didn’t seem to care, but Reed and I were desperate. The Fosters had already helped us out several times, and we couldn’t go to them again.
That’s when Mrs. Cox made a deal with Reed. I didn’t know about it until afterwards, but I should have. I wasn’t paying attention, didn’t question why our rent was suddenly paid in full because I was too relieved to care. It went on for months.”
Tears slid down Isabelle’s face and dripped from her chin. “Reed slept with her in exchange for rent money.”
I clasped my middle like someone had punched me.
“I noticed a change in Reed. He’d become quiet and withdrawn. Amber was worried about him too. Then one day I came home from school and found them together in bed.” Isabelle closed her eyes.
I felt sick.
“Reed actually tried to protect her saying it wasn’t her fault but he was lying. The next day I went to see Mrs. Cox and told her I’d go to the police and have her charged with statutory rape if she ever went near my brother again.”
Isabelle brushed away her tears, and I was surprised to realize that I was crying along with her. Sorry wasn’t enough but I said it anyway.
“Even though he’s a grown man now, he’s still my baby brother. I can’t stand to think of him in pain. Ellie, you don’t think Reed has some weird sexual fetishes because of what happened to him, do you?”
The image of myself lying across Reed’s lap while he held the riding crop flashed in my mind. I hadn’t for a heartbeat been afraid because I knew Reed would never hurt me. As much as I wanted to reassure Isabelle, I didn’t think I she’d want to hear about what had happened between Reed and I.
“I don’t think you should worry about Reed’s sex life.”
Isabelle looked at me with uncertainty. “You don’t think so? I know he’s using those things with someone, and I doubt it’s Amber.”
“Would it be okay if he was using them with Amber,” I asked curiously.
She seemed to think about the question. “I can’t stand thinking about Reed having any kind of sex, but I know how much he loves Amber. If they were into some kinky sex, I guess it wouldn’t be any of my business.”
I didn’t like how convinced Isabelle was that Amber and Reed were meant to be together, but I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. Not yet.
“I’ll have to talk with Amber about this,” Isabelle said, clearly distressed.
“Why?”
“She knows Reed better than anyone, and she would know if he’s having problems.”
“Do you think that is a good idea since they’ve broken up?” I asked gently.
“That’s only temporary, and if Reed is having issues I’ll insist he go to a therapist before I let him end up some sexual deviant.”
Choking on the words ‘sexual deviant’, I wanted to shake Isabelle and tell her that Amber and Reed were not getting back together and that there wasn’t anything deviant about Reed.
“Ellie!” my dad called from the kitchen. He’d come in through the garage and Isabelle and I hopped off the floor as he walked into the living room still dressed in his slacks and dress shirt with a tie, gun and badge.
“Hi, Dad!” I hugged him. He kissed the top of my head and told me he’d missed me. “Dad, this is my friend Isabelle Bentley. Isabelle, this is my dad.”
“Isabelle,” my dad said, smiling at her and taking her hand. “It’s good to see you again.”
I was puzzled at that, but Isabelle wasn’t. “Captain Bentley,” Isabelle said, shaking my dad’s hand. “It’s good to see you again too.”
“Have you two met before?” I asked, confused.
“We ran into Isabelle at The Pit just after you started working with her,” Dad reminded me, smiling at Isabelle, who was still shaking his hand. As if is suddenly realizing that, Isabelle blushed and let go. I don’t think I’d ever seen Isabelle blush.
“Oh, I’m sorry I must’ve forgotten.” They’d met almost two years ago, briefly. It was interesting that the both remembered it when even I’d forgotten.
My dad was only forty years old. Isabelle was twenty-eight. Tonight had been crazy. That was the only explanation I had for what was going through my mind as I watched Isabelle laugh at something my dad said.
I couldn’t stop watching them together. It had definitely been a bizarre night.
I texted Reed when I left Dad’s house.
Me: Can I come over?
His reply came quickly. I’d learned over the last few weeks that Reed, like Cora and I, didn’t abbreviate much in text. Probably because he didn’t text much.
Reed: I want to get out of the house. I’ll pick you up.
Frowning, I wondered if he’d driven since the accident. I didn’t think so, but I knew that the doctor said it was okay since it was his left leg that was injured.
Me: Are you sure?
Reed: Hell yes. I haven’t left the house in a week.
Me: Funny. I meant sure about driving.
Reed: I know. Trust me.
Me: You already know I do.
I went home and took a quick shower and changed into a pair of denim shorts and a green tank top. Sliding my feet into my favorite flip-flops and pulling the ponytail holder from my hair, I ran my fingers through the waves and wondered if I should pull it back in a ponytail. I left it down and applied peach lip-gloss. Grabbing my purse, I hurried out the door to meet Reed. Our apartment was on the second floor, and I didn’t want him to have to try and make it up the stairs.
“Hey, Ellie!”
I turned and smiled at my neighbor’s son. “Hi, Tyler.” I glanced at the skateboard under his left arm. “Be careful,” I told him and he grinned with the cockiness only a twelve-year-old boy could manage. “Are you going to the skate park?” I asked, frowning because of how late it was.
“Nah, Mike and I are hanging out here. We’ll be careful. You don’t need to worry,” he promised.
I’d just gotten to the parking lot when Reed’s blue Ford truck pulled up.
“You shouldn’t be out here by yourself at night. I would’ve come inside,” Reed told me when I hopped into the truck.
“You sound like my dad.” I liked that he cared, though.
“What, are you hiding Hot Kiss in your apartment?”
I turned to look at Reed, unable to tell if he was angry or joking, but he was staring straight ahead at the road. “I was joking,” he told me with a smile in his voice, as
if reading my mind.
“I’m sorry, Reed.”
He glanced over at me. “Don’t be,” he replied gently.
A few minutes later, he pulled into a vacant lot behind the runway of George W. Bush Intercontinental airport. Reed killed the engine and turned his attention to me. “I used to come here a lot when I was younger and I needed to think. I love watching the planes take off and land.”
“Dad used to bring me here. It’s one of my favorite places.”
Reed got out of the truck, came around to my side and opened the door. Walking to the back of the truck, he let the tailgate down and we sat down.
“Are you still mad at me?” I asked when I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
He glanced over me in surprise.
“I’m not dating anyone else, Reed. I can see how you might not trust me now but I hope you can forgive me.”
“Ellie, I’m not mad at you.”
“You’re not?”
He reached over and brushed a piece of hair from my face, his fingers brushing my skin and making me quiver. “I was jealous, but I guess I can’t fault you for not wanting to hurt the guy’s feelings, even Doctor Hot Kiss.”
“It’s all good, then? We don’t have to bring this up anymore?” I asked hopefully.
Reed seemed to think this was funny. “I’ll never refer to a dude by those two words again, trust me.”
I smiled, feeling better.
“Do women really call him that?”
“Not to his face. His name is Hotchkiss so it sort of fits, not that I would know if he’s a hot kisser since I’ve only been kissing you.”
“I like that.” His gaze dropped to my mouth.
My nipples hardened. “I like you, Reed.”
His gaze lifted from my mouth and he looked into my eyes. “That’s good, Ellie, because I like you too. I always have.”
“Me too. Even in high school I noticed you and it wasn’t just because you were hot.” My voice quivered.
Reed chuckled. “You thought I was hot?” he teased.
“All the girls did, you know that. It wasn’t what intrigued me about you.” Looking up at him, I saw his unwavering gaze on me, listening and waiting for me to finish. Reed always made me feel like there was nothing more important to him than what I was saying.
“When you asked Cora to dance at Homecoming, you stole a chunk of my heart. Everyone knew she had a crush on you, and some of the kids had a bet going that she couldn’t get you to dance with her. Watching you dance with Cora was one of my favorite moments in high school.”
Reed held my hand, rubbing the pad of his thumb across my knuckles. “I should’ve asked you to dance too.”
I shook my head. “That night was Cora’s.”
He looked into my eyes, and my heart tripped a beat. “Ellie, tell me how I can get the rest of your heart.”
A soft sigh escaped my lips before I could check it, and I reached out to touch the side of his face but hesitated.
“It’s okay to touch me, Ellie.” His gaze dropped once again to my mouth.
My hand tentatively brushed his jaw, and I marveled at the feel of the stubble against my palm. He was going to kiss me. I saw his eyes darken, felt him tense and I waited.
A plane raced down the runway, engines roaring as it picked up speed until it suddenly sailed into the air above us, accelerating until it was just a blur of light in the starlit sky. We both watched the plane, the moment soaring away with it.
Maybe it was for the best because I couldn’t think straight when Reed touched me, and we hadn’t talked what happened with Isabelle. “Are we going to talk about it?” I asked him.
His brows drew together like he was thinking about the question. “The kiss or what happened with Isabelle?” he asked with a smile in his voice.
“It’s up to you,” I said not wanting to push.
“How about we talk about Isabelle now, and I kiss you later.” Reed’s gaze locked with mine and he seemed to be trying to find the answers to whatever questions I read in his eyes.
“I should never have brought that stuff to your house.”
He looked surprised. “What happened with Isabelle isn’t your fault.”
“It sort of is. I only wanted to have some fun with you not upset Isabelle.”
“I had fun.” Reed squeezed my hand. “Isabelle was upset about something that had nothing to do with you.” I felt him tense. “Ellie, our mom made Isabelle promise to take care of me if something ever happened to her. Maybe she knew then that she wasn’t going to be around to raise us. I don’t think she meant it as literally as Isabelle took it, but ever since then my sister has been overprotective and has blamed herself for every bad thing that’s happened to me.”
Remembering how heartbroken I’d been when my mom died, I understood devastated Isabelle and Reed had been. Only I’d had my dad, who’d managed to wade through his own river of grief to help pull me from mine. Reed and Isabelle hadn’t been as lucky.
“Ellie? Reed peered down at me. “Are you crying?” He brushed the tears from my face, but I wanted to comfort him not the other way around.
I sat up and folded me knees beneath me. “Isabelle told me.”
Reed just stared at me. “She told you about what,” he asked carefully.
“Everything,” I whispered and I felt Reed tense.
“You know about Jane Cox.” His gaze narrowed at me, and then he stood up.
“Reed—“
He stopped suddenly and faced me. “I wanted to tell you myself.” His eyes flashed with dark emotion. “I was hoping I could make you understand.” Raking his hand over his jaw, he shook his head. “Shit. I know it’s bad, but I didn’t know what else to do then.”
Reaching out, I put my hand on his chest over his heart and felt his muscles tense. “I’m not judging you, Reed.” I spoke with soft desperation and silently prayed for him to know it was the truth.
“No?” He laughed humorlessly. “I had sex in exchange for rent money.”
I was shaking with Reed’s pain. “I know,” I whispered. “You don’t have to do this.”
He clasped my shoulders gently, and looked into my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Reed,” I whispered urgently, cradling his face in my hands. “I wish I could take away your pain. You were just a kid. It wasn’t your fault and you shouldn’t blame yourself.”
Reed stared at me in disbelief. His hand lifted and covered my own, which was still caressing his jaw.
“Ellie, I know it wasn’t all my fault.” His gaze met mine. “I wanted to tell you myself.” He let out a deep breath. “And I wanted you to want me anyway.”
The heartfelt admission did something to me. Every day I’d been falling more in love with Reed, but at that moment I plunged all the way in, and the empty spaces inside of me, that I hadn’t known existed, filled. Wanting to tell him, but afraid it was too soon I said, “I want you, Reed. I always will, nothing that’s happened or will ever happen can change that.”
“I don’t if I deserve you.” His thumb slid over my lips. “But I’m not letting you go.”
“What happened wasn’t your fault,” I insisted, needing him to understand that. “None of it. She took advantage of you.”
Reed shook his head. “No. I knew what I was doing. I knew it was wrong.” His eyes implored me to understand him, and I did. Reed didn’t think of himself as a victim and was shouldering responsibility for he’d done. His strength was incredible.
“I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I’m sorry Isabelle found those things.”
Reed’s slow smile made my stomach flip “Bring all the sex toys to my house that you’d like.” Reed chuckled. “I’m serious about that,” he added with a smile in his eyes.
I smiled in return, but I wanted him to know that he didn’t have to always be strong. “My mom once told me I didn’t have to pretend with her. You don’t have to pretend with me.”
“I know that, Ellie. I’m okay.” Our
eyes met and I saw the truth in his words. “So I’ve had some bad shit happen.” He spoke matter-of-factly. “It didn’t break me. Despite what Isabelle thinks, I’m not traumatized by my past. I’m not into anything sexually deviant.”
His smile melted over my already sensitive skin sending shivers down my spine. “I didn’t think you were,” I told him.
“Isabelle was worried, and I don’t want you to be afraid of me.”
I was shocked, not about Isabelle but that Reed thought I could ever fear him. “I could never be afraid of you, Reed.”
“Good, because I’m the last person you’d ever have to fear.”
Shifting beneath the intensity of his gaze, I asked, “What if I didn’t mind the sex?”
His brow cocked and I could tell I’d surprised him. It was difficult not to fidget with those hot blue eyes all over me, missing nothing.
Reed raked palm over his jaw. “Are we still talking about the sexual deviant kind?” he drawled, his words slow and thick like warm honey.
My throat was dry, and my body was hot. “Is that what you want?
“If you want a little rough sex, I’d be happy to oblige,” he replied, his eyes never leaving mine. “As long as it only involves pleasure. I could never hurt you.”
My brain caught on the words ‘rough sex’ and hiccupped. That sounded interesting. Any sex with Reed sounded delicious and made me ache in all the places I wanted him to touch.
Finally I just asked what had been on my mind. “Reed, why haven’t we had sex?”
He looked shocked. “That’s what’s bothering you?”
“After the night with the riding crop, I just assumed that you’d want to have sex with me.”
“Ellie, I can barely control myself around you. I’ve gotten used to the constant hard-ons and going to bed every night thinking of you while I jack off.” He stopped, frowned and apologized for his bluntness. “I know your life went on after that night, and I’m glad. But I’ve spent the last two years thinking of how I could win you over, sweetheart. My feelings for you are deep. I was just giving you time to catch up.”
Fireflies From Heaven Page 9
