“Ellie, I’m sorry about last night,” he said when he pulled away, studying me. “You don’t look like you’ve been crying.”
“Isabelle meant well. She thought we should talk. Are you only here because you thought I was inconsolable?”
I saw some of the tension leave him, and he sat down. “No. I only sped here because of that. I wanted to see you. I’m sorry about last night.”
“I don’t need an apology Reed. This is my fault, and I’m not going to complain because I got hurt.”
His gaze narrowed, and I saw the uncertainty in his eyes and knew him well enough to know what he was thinking. “I liked the sex, Reed. That’s not what I meant. Don’t even think about apologizing for it.”
“I was only going to apologize for the part where I acted like an ass.” His gaze caught mine. “Hell, I wasn’t sure what I needed to apologize for or how much I needed to make up to you.”
I saw his gaze fall to where he’d gripped my arms last night, and I shook my head. “You didn’t hurt me physically. Like I said, this is my fault. Being fuck buddies isn’t the same as dating.”
Reed scowled. “No. It’s not,” he agreed. “I hate that term, and it doesn’t apply to us."
“I’m not complaining,” I added quickly. “I just didn’t understand how different it would be, but I don’t want us to stop seeing each other.”
“You don’t?” he asked carefully.
“No. Next time I won’t get upset if you want to take me home right after we have sex.”
He closed his eyes for a moment. “God Ellie. You’re killing me.”
I wasn’t sure exactly what he meant, but I was beginning to think he might be as hurt as I was.
The waiter brought the check, and Reed reached for his wallet, withdrew two twenties and dropped them on the plastic tray with the ticket. He shook his head when asked if he needed change, and I grabbed my purse, but Reed wouldn’t take my money. He did get up and take my hand. “Come on,” he said softly. “We’ll keep our clothes on tonight, I promise.”
Embarrassingly, I let out a sound that was a cross between a laugh and a snort. “Oh good, I was concerned that you’d want us to start stripping and have mind-blowing sex as soon as we left the restaurant.”
Reed’s lips twitched. “Watch it, sweetheart. I’ve only got so much control around you.”
I wasn’t sure what to expect or where we’d go, but Reed drove to Lake Houston. Even though it was almost Thanksgiving, the cold weather hadn’t set in and it was still a warm seventy degrees, though the weatherman predicted a front coming in the following week.
We got out of his truck and sat on a wrought iron bench facing the moonlit water. “I’m sorry about Brooke. I don’t know what she was thinking.” His leg brushing against mine sent a tremor through my body.
“She only did it because she thinks we’re together. Brooke has always been jealous of you.”
“I doubt that. I saw the way she looked at you, like she wanted to have you for desert and breakfast.”
He shrugged, seeming unaware of his devastating affect on the female population. I couldn’t stop noticing the way women’s eyes lingered on Reed, following him and stripping him bare with their ravenous gazes.
“Don’t tell me you didn’t notice,” I replied with disbelief.
“I was too busy looking at you and glaring at you’re ex-boyfriend who couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.”
Frowning, I prayed that what he said about Davis wasn’t true. “I hope they don’t hurt each other.”
I felt his eyes on me even before he spoke. “How do you do that, Ellie? You’re always thinking of everyone else instead of yourself, and I’m not just talking about Brooke. Last night you had every right to hate me after the way I treated you, but instead you tried to convince me you liked it and told me not to apologize.”
“Reed, I loved having sex with you last night and every night before that.” I meant every word.
He turned and placed his hand on the side of my face. My breath hitched and my pulse kicked up a notch. “Last night I wanted to punish you.”
His admission rippled down my spine. “Because I hurt you,” I whispered knowingly, not needing him to confirm it.
“I wanted you to feel some of the pain I was feeling, Ellie. I ended up feeling like shit for treating you that way.” His voice caught on the last words and he cleared his throat.
“Maybe I wanted you to punish me for what I did to us,” I admitted.
His eyes flashed with surprise and something else. “It’s not too late to get it right.”
“I hope not,” I said softly.
He kissed me and I forgot everything but the feel of his mouth over mine.
Chapter 23
All the next day I replayed what had happened between Reed and I, unable to stop thinking about how he’d made love to me as if he cherished me. He hadn’t told me that he loved me, and we didn’t try to define our relationship or talk about the future. We’d lived in the moment and it was hot and sweet.
I could not wipe the smile off of my face, until the phone call changed everything. I’d just gotten back to the apartment from the grocery store when my cell rang, and I set the plastic bags on the counter before fishing my phone from my purse and answering.
“Eleanor McAllister?”
“Speaking.”
“This is Dr. Mitchell from Northwest Emergency Clinic. I’m calling about the results of your blood work.”
I hesitated a moment, since it had been so long since I’d thought about that night. “I thought I was given all the test results. Is something wrong?”
“No, not wrong,” he assured me. “We were reviewing your paperwork, and I saw your pregnancy test came back positive.”
I was stunned. At first I thought I might have misunderstood. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was given a pregnancy test. There must be some mistake.”
A moment of silence followed my comment, and finally he spoke again. “Miss McAllister, I’m sorry if this isn’t good news for you, but there’s no mistake. You’ll need to see an OBGYN soon, unless you choose to terminate the pregnancy.”
My heart lurched at the words ‘terminate the pregnancy’. Dazed, I thanked him and hung up the phone. It had to be a mistake. I was on birth control and I hadn’t even missed my period. Quickly, I began to think back but realized I couldn’t recall the last time I’d had my period. I grabbed my keys off the counter and nearly barreled into Cora on my way out the door.
“What’s the emergency? Did you forget to buy coffee?” Cora laughed. “Or are you in a hurry to see Reed?”
“I need to get a pregnancy test.”
Her eyes widened, and I filled her in about the Doctor’s phone call.
“I’ll drive,” she said.
A half an hour later, I paced in the bathroom, glancing at my watch. Cora picked up the little white test and frowned. “What the hell do the lines mean?” she muttered, picking up the instructions. “You’d think someone would be able to invent something more user friendly.”
“What does it say?” I asked anxiously.
Cora looked over at me her expression stoic. “There are two dark lines. I think it’s positive.”
I sank down on the closed commode lid, overwhelmed. “I’m pregnant?”
“It looks like it. There’s another test if want to take it.”
The next test also came back positive. I was going to have Reed’s baby. My heart swelled imagining a tiny baby, a little boy or girl that was a part of Reed and me, a small person that I realized I already loved.
“You’re having a baby,” Cora whispered in awe, wrapping her arms around me.
“Hearing you say that feels strange. It doesn’t seem real. Oh God, that night I drank those shots—“ My hands flew to my stomach and gently rested there protectively.
“You can’t be that far along. I’m sure it’s fine.”
“I haven’t felt sick, and I don’t even remember missing
my period. I’ve been taking birth control pills!”
“Ellie, your baby is going to be alright,” Cora assured me.
I closed my eyes thinking of what I would say to Reed. We weren’t even dating anymore, and he was spending Thanksgiving with Amber and her family. As much as that made me burn with jealousy, I didn’t want to push things with him yet and I was hoping he’d tell me on his own what was going on between him and Amber. When I mentioned this to Cora, she didn’t seem like she understood why I didn’t want to push Reed.
“The time for taking things slow ended when you peed on that stick. Now is the time to tell him he’s going to be a daddy and take him to a jewelry store to pick out an engagement ring.”
When I was a kid I always dreamed of my wedding day, and, like most little girls, I imagined myself in a beautiful dress with a bouquet of flowers surrounded by family and friends, and the man I would marry smiling at me as I walked down the aisle to him. Cora was only joking around, but I didn’t like what she’d described at all. It seemed wrong.
“We don’t have to get married because we’re having a baby.”
“Yeah, I’d like to hear what your dad is going to say about that.”
I winced, thinking of how disappointed and upset he’d be. “I’m not telling him yet. I’m not telling anyone until I figure out what to do.”
“What do you mean what you’re going to do?” she asked frowning.
“I mean I need to think about what’s best for me and my baby.”
Cora looked at me uncertainly. “You mean what’s best for the three of you.”
“No.” I took a deep breath. “Cora, I don’t have the words to describe how much I love Reed, but I can’t plan our future when he might still be in love with someone else.”
“I don’t know, Ellie.”
“I found a hotel room number written in a woman’s handwriting in his bedroom. It’s the same hotel where Amber works. He’s also spending Thanksgiving with her.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t demand to know what the hell it was when you found it. It’s what I would have done, just like I’d tell him that you want him to spend the holidays with you.”
“You make it sound simple.”
“It is simple. Now, get your ass up and go get your baby daddy.”
I couldn’t help but smile at her use of ‘baby daddy’. Cora was right. I was going to have to confront Reed and settle things between us once and for all. “Okay, I’ll do it.”
“Good luck!” Cora called to me as I headed out the door.
Ten minutes later I pulled into Reed’s driveway, more nervous than I’d ever been in my life. I got out of the car, breathless and jittery despite my resolve to remain cool. When I rang the doorbell, my heart tripped at the sound of the chime.
I waited.
He didn’t answer.
Ringing the doorbell again, I tried to peer through the glass. A moment later, the door swung open and Amber filled the doorway, dressed in one of Reed’s button down shirts and nothing else.
“Oh. Ellie, hi,” Amber said smiling slyly. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was tousled as if a lover had just ran his fingers through it.
I gripped my stomach to ease the violent pain that ripped through me.
“Ellie, are you okay?”
As if from a distance, I heard her talking and I tried to focus despite that my head was swimming. “I want to talk to Reed,” I somehow managed to say.
“Sure, come on in.” Amber stepped aside and pulled back the door. “He’s in the shower, but he’ll be done soon. Or I can get him?” she suggested helpfully with a little smile that said she’d be more than pleased to get him out of the shower.
Shaking my head, I stormed into the house and headed straight for Reed’s bedroom, expecting to find it empty but the sound of the shower running crushed any hope I had that this was all a mistake. His wallet was on his dresser, but still I looked into the bathroom and saw a naked Reed through the solid glass shower door.
Reaching for the dresser to steady myself, I choked back a sob. I’d been so sure he wasn’t at home, positive that Amber had been lying, but Reed was here. He’d had sex with Amber when he’d made love to me last night. Turning, I ran from the bedroom and out of the house.
“Ellie, wait!” Amber called to me.
I didn’t want her to see me cry, but still I turned to see what she wanted.
“I’m sorry.” Amber looked as if she might say more. “I’m really sorry,” she repeated and I thought she meant it.
I wasn’t ready to face anyone yet, and didn’t want to go home. Knowing Dad was at work, I drove to his house and sank down onto the sofa to cry with Jack faithfully curling up at my feet. I cried until my chest ached and I had no more tears. The last time I’d cried over Reed it was my own fault, but not this time.
He’d betrayed me, broken my heart, but I couldn’t afford the luxury of falling apart. I had my baby to think about, and I had to pull myself together and go to work tomorrow. When I’d finally calmed down, I vowed that this was the last time I’d cry over Reed Bentley.
Focusing all of my attention on my patients, I went to work the next day determined to make the best of things. I smiled and pretended that I hadn’t had my heart shredded to pieces the day before, and I made an appointment to see an obstetrician. I refused to think about Reed.
The night before Thanksgiving Reed called me, but I declined the call. He left a message, which I deleted. Instead I sent him a text.
Me: It’s over. Don’t call me again.
He didn’t text back, but he did call several more times and left messages, but I wasn’t going to listen to anything he had to say after what he’d done. It was probably unfair of me because I broke up with him and told him to work things out with Amber, but he’d lied to me about not having feelings for her and I could not get over the hurt of him making love with her the very next day after he and I had been together.
Even Cora, who’d championed Reed from the start, told me to move on. I still hadn’t told Isabelle about the baby or finding Amber nearly naked at Reed’s house. I felt guilty for once again keeping things from her, but Reed was her brother and I didn’t want to put her in an awkward position. Cora agreed with me.
Thanksgiving day rolled around like any other day, which was unusual for me because I loved family dinners, the cooking, baking, and the start of the Christmas season. This year I wasn’t feeling any of it, but I went through the motions and made cornbread dressing and a turkey.
Dad made three pies, pecan, pumpkin and apple. Cora made sweet potatoes, broccoli and rice, and green bean casseroles and homemade rolls. The three of us spent a quiet day at my dad’s house, eating and watching old Christmas movies. It was a relaxing day, until Dad asked about Reed.
“We broke up.” I acted like it wasn’t a big deal, and I was surprised that Dad seemed genuinely upset about this.
“What happened?” he asked.
“His ex-girlfriend happened,” Cora explained. “Ellie walked in on them naked, and--.”
“What?” Dad exploded.
“Cora! That’s enough!” I shot her a silencing look, which she ignored.
“He needs to know what happened,” Cora told me.
“All he needed to know was that we broke up.”
“Does Isabelle know about this?”
I frowned, not really understanding why he was asking that. “I didn’t want to put her in the position to choose between Reed and me. Why’d you ask?”
“I saw her yesterday and she didn’t mention it,” he replied thoughtfully.
“Oh, you ran into Isabelle, Mr. McAllister?” Cora’s eyes widened, and although she asked the question as if was no big deal, I knew she was as curious to hear the answer as I was.
Dad nodded, his expression guarded. “I invited her and Reed over for Thanksgiving.”
“You did?” Cora asked, surprised.
“They’re spending Thanksgiving with the Fosters.�
��
“That’s Reed’s ex-girlfriend’s family,” Cora supplied as if Dad didn’t already know that.
Dad shook his head. “That’s not what Isabelle told me. She said she and Reed were spending Thanksgiving at his house. I thought it was odd that she turned down the invitation. Now that I think of it, she wasn’t as friendly as usual.”
Cora turned to me, but said nothing. Later I tried calling Isabelle, but she didn’t answer. She didn’t answer my texts or any of Cora’s calls either. Apparently, Isabelle knew what happened with Reed and she’d taken her brother’s side. I didn’t blame her, but it still hurt.
“Something’s not right,” Cora told me, as we listened to another commercial for Black Friday.
“That’s an understatement.”
“I meant with Isabelle not talking to us. Reed is family. I get that, but she wouldn’t ignore us if she knew what he’d done to you.”
I’d thought the same thing, and to hear Cora say it only solidified the idea in my mind. I glanced at my cell and thought of calling her again. “You think she doesn’t know about Reed and Amber?”
“It’s possible,” Cora said pensively. “You didn’t actually talk to Reed that day.”
Something in her voice tickled my senses, and my eyes flew to Cora’s. “I told you what happened. He was there, naked in the shower. I didn’t just take Amber’s word for it.”
“It looks bad, Ellie. I’m with you on that, but it bothers me that you never spoke to him. You need closure. You’re also going to have to tell him about the baby.”
I thought about what Cora said, and even when I tried to push it from my mind so that I could rest, sleep wouldn’t come. She’d planted a seed of doubt in my mind and it took root and grew like a weed. The next day I was feeling the effects of my sleepless night, but I was driven by the hope that I might have been wrong about what I’d seen that day.
Reed wasn’t home when I went to his house, but Jase was and saying that he wasn’t happy to see me was like saying summers in Texas were a little warm.
He was locking Reed’s front door when he saw me and scowled. “What’re you doing here?” Jase demanded of me.
Fireflies From Heaven Page 21
