Opening the door wider, I stepped back and he came inside, seeming uncharacteristically uncomfortable as he glanced around the room, his gaze finally landing on me.
“Sit down. I’d offer you something to drink, but you look like you’re in a hurry.”
He looked surprised, but he didn’t comment just sat down on the couch.
I sat on a chair catty-corner to the couch facing him.
“I know I should have called you sooner.” His gaze caught mine and I saw the sincerity in his eyes along with, what I thought was, regret. “I’m sorry about tonight. I don’t want to hurt you, Ellie.”
I felt as if I was balancing on a tightrope, and I knew one wrong step would send me plunging into the unknown. “I appreciate that, Reed. I don’t want to hurt you either.”
His eyes locked with mine. “I love you, but it’s not good for either of us to do this anymore.”
And with his words, I plunged and spiraled downward.
Something snapped inside of me. Suddenly, I was desperate for him to know everything. “I came to your house and Amber answered the door wearing one of your shirts. She made it seem like the two of you were together. I didn’t believe her at first, but then I saw you in the shower.”
He just stared at me, as if trying to decide if I’d lost my mind.
“I saw you naked in the shower. I thought you’d made love to Amber the night after you’d been with me.”
“Ellie, I haven’t slept with Amber since I was eighteen.” Reed frowned, thinking for a moment. “I know the day you’re talking about. She came over and was waiting for me when I got out of the shower. I told her again that we were never getting back together, and she admitted erasing the calls from you on my phone and asking you to stay away from me.”
Relief, anger and frustration filled me, the latter two directed at myself for not talking to him sooner. Still, one last thing tugged at the back of my mind, and I wasn’t letting anything go unsaid now. “What about room 211 at the Houston Plaza?”
Reed’s face registered surprise and then resignation. “That’s where Jane Cox was staying. Amber mentioned it to me and she gave me her room number.” He took a steady breath.
Hearing the name of the woman who’d taken advantage of Reed when he was younger tore at my heart.
“I had some unfinished business with her. What happened to me is done, but I wanted to make sure she never did that to anyone else.” Shaking his head, he continued. “I should have talked to her a long time ago. Jane assured me there’s been no boys since me, but I made sure she realized that if I found out differently, I’d testify against her in court.”
Oh God. It had taken incredible strength and courage to confront the woman who’d abused him, and instead of supporting him, I’d broken up with Reed because of my own insecurities.
“Then you know everything.” I met his dark, troubled gaze.
“Yes. When you wouldn’t take my calls, I left messages explaining this. I take it you didn’t listen any of them.”
“No,” I whispered shakily. I wanted to beg his forgiveness. “I’m so sorry for what I’ve done.”
“Me too.” His words held a note of finality to them.
He wasn’t going to forgive me.
I realized what had bothered me in the hospital that I hadn’t been able to put my finger on, but now it was crystal clear. Reed had distanced himself from me, physically and emotionally. I felt none of the warmth, passion or love from Reed that I’d always felt. It was as if the invisible connection we’d always shared had been severed, and I was the one that had done it. His eyes were flat and emotionless when they met mine, and his tone was polite yet cool. It was finally over.
“Reed, please. Is there anything I do to change you mind?” I asked, my voice breaking.
“Don’t,” he said harshly. I wasn’t aware that I was kneeling before him until I felt his hands on my arms and him gently pulling me up. “Don’t do this, Ellie.” I thought I heard his voice catch. He got up and turned away from me.
“You don’t trust me, Ellie.” I don’t even think you realize how much you hold back, and I can’t accept anything less from you than everything. I’m sorry.”
I reached for him, but he’d already started walking away. “I can give you everything! I’ve made some mistakes, but if you’ll forgive me I promise not repeat them.”
Finally, he turned to face me, and what I saw in his eyes shredded any hope I’d been clinging to. “Ellie,” was all he said, but it was enough.
Oh my God. It really was over.
“We’re still having a baby together, and I don’t regret it or anything else that happened between us. Call me if you need me.” With those last words, Reed turned and walked out of my life for good.
I went through life’s daily rituals thinking that if I sucked it up and acted like I was over Reed Bentley then no one would worry about me. I was wrong, of course. Cora knew how upset I was, and I’m sure Isabelle did too. Sometimes I’d catch my dad, watching me with troubled look in his eyes, and I realized that I was fooling no one.
Christmastime rolled around and I went through the motions of pretending it was the most wonderful time of the year. Inside I was a mess. Still, I checked things off my list of things you should do at Christmas-- put up a tree, bake cookies, and buy presents. The last was the most difficult because looking at Reed’s present made me cry. I’m blaming that on hormones.
I hadn’t actually intended to get him anything, figuring I’d already poured enough salt in wounds to last me a lifetime, but when I saw the picture of the couple sitting on the tailgate of a blue truck, watching planes take off into the sky, I knew that I had to get it. Why I loved looking at it when it started the waterworks, I could not say. It was a symbol of happier times, but who wanted to be reminded of that when your life sucked.
My stomach lurched. I guess my baby took exception to me thinking my life sucked. “Sorry Baby.” Okay, my life didn’t really suck. I might be unmarried and pregnant, and my baby’s father was tired of me breaking up with him, but I still had my family and friends and two jobs I loved.
I thought about my mother like I did almost every day, and I wished I could ask her how she felt when she’d gotten pregnant with me while she was in high school. She and my dad were in love, but she was still only eighteen and hadn’t had a mother to talk to either. When Mom got pregnant, her grandparents kicked her out of the house and never spoke to her again. A lot people would have been bitter and angry about those circumstances, but Mom always smiled and believed that something good would happen.
I could hear her voice in my head as if she was next to me. When you’re happy I’ll be the sun that shines down on your face and warms your skin. If you’re sad or afraid I’ll cry so many tears there’ll be a storm in heaven, and when the raindrops fall from the sky you’ll know that it’s me. When you come to a crossroads and you’re lost and don’t know what do to, look outside on a grassy hilltop just before sunset and you’ll see a million fireflies from heaven lighting your way.
The sun was setting and the chances of any fireflies being out in late December would be the same as finding a four-leaf clover in a snowstorm. I ran outside towards the park, which was the grassiest place I could think of and looked around. I didn’t see a million fireflies. I didn’t see a single one, and I hadn’t really expected to see any, but I still disappointed.
I went back into my apartment, and my eyes crashed into the painting I’d bought for Reed. My knees went weak. What I saw astounded me, and I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed it before. I guess I was too focused on the couple in the picture looking at the planes to see the tiny fireflies in the grass surrounding the truck, but there was no mistaking the lights that ascended toward heaven.
My fingers slid over the picture frame, and I sat down and cried, but this time my tears were born of hope. I wrapped the present and picked up the phone to call Reed when someone knocked on the door. My heart skipped a beat, thinking th
at it was Reed.
I got up and pulled open the door, but it was Jase that stood on my doorstep. My face fell, and Jase noticed it.
“You’re not happy to see me,” he said grimly.
“I thought you might be Reed.” I pulled the door open wider. “You want to come in?”
Jase walked in and took a seat. “You look good.” His gaze slid over my blousy top, skinny jeans and jeweled flip-flops.
“Thanks.”
“Look, I’m sorry I was an ass to you. You scared me shitless when you fainted, and I’ve felt bad thinking that any of those things I said to you might be to blame for what happened.”
I could see that he was genuinely worried and obviously contrite. “Jase, it wasn’t your fault. If I’d known, you were still thinking about this I’d have called you. I was stressed that day, and I hadn’t eaten. I’m fine now. No worries.”
“I’d thought of you as a friend. I hope I haven’t messed that up. You and I shouldn’t be enemies.” He flashed me a smile that would have melted most female’s panties.
“I’ve already lost enough lately. I’m not turning down your offer of friendship.”
Jase had a strange expression on his face. “You haven’t lost Reed, if that’s what you’re thinking.” I wanted to ask him what he meant but he changed the subject. “Cora said you needed a date for your cousin’s wedding.”
“She told you that?”
“I’ll be your date.” He held out his arms as if offering himself to me.
“You want to be my date?” I laughed softly. “I think you should go with Cora.”
“She’s already got a date.”
I knew Cora was going to the wedding after work, but she hadn’t mentioned a date.
“We probably need to leave soon since you’re in the wedding party.”
“I was about to get ready, but--”
“Go on, get ready,” he cajoled.
My gaze slid down Jase’s dress shirt, tie, slacks and boots.
“My coat is in the truck,” he said with a wink.
I frowned at Jase, wondering what was up with him. “I can’t believe you want to go to a wedding. Don’t guys usually try to get out of those?”
“Guys love other guys’ weddings. There’s free food, drinks and a party.” He grinned.
“Fine, I’ll get dressed,” I said, glancing back at Jase and wondering what he was up to.
I called Reed and left a message for him to call me before I got dressed for the wedding.
An hour later, I was in the bridal room at the country club watching Brooke fuss over her hair. “She made the curls too tight,” Brooke complained.
“I think it looks great.”
Brooke, of course, ignored me. Aunt Lacy shot me a silencing look.
Brooke’s maid of honor, Hadley, sympathized with Brooke but assured her that she looked stunning, as did the rest of the bridesmaids. She was lovely in her sleek, mermaid gown, with a gorgeous back that plunged into a v-line to her derriere, but Brooke wasn’t wearing an expression of a joyful bride. She seemed agitated, and I wondered if she was having doubts about marrying Davis.
The music began and I walked down the aisle, my heart nearly stopping when my gaze landed on Reed sitting with Cora. Thankfully, I didn’t gape at them like a fish out of water, but I was shocked. When Reed turned his head and looked at me, I melted under the intensity of his gaze and I wanted to run into his arms.
Brooke decided to forgo the traditional wedding march music for something more contemporary that I didn’t recognize. When she floated down the aisle everyone turned and watched her glorious ascent except for Reed, who didn’t take his eyes off of me.
The ceremony began, and the Justice of the Peace recited the wedding vows including the part where he asked if anyone objected to this union.
“I do! I object!” cried a voice, and it didn’t come from the audience.
All eyes fastened on the maid of honor, and best friend to the bride, Hadley Wells. I blinked in shock, thinking how this seemed like something that only happened on TV.
Davis was already apologizing, but it was difficult to tell exactly whom he was apologizing to Brooke or Hadley.
Brooke was livid, her beautiful face beet red.
Aunt Lacy paled, and Uncle Jonathon looked irritated, probably because of all the money he’d spend on the fairytale wedding that had suddenly turned into a daytime talk show drama.
“We’ve been sleeping together for months,” Hadley confessed to Brooke. “I’ve wanted to tell you, but it was never the right time.”
“What?” Brooke shrieked.
“I’m in love with someone else,” Davis declared, and to my horror he stepped in front of me and took my hand. “Ellie, I love you,” he announced, and he looked like he meant it.
I stared, speechless, at Davis.
Hadley and Brooke began shouting at one another.
The crowed erupted into a cacophony of whispers and pandemonium.
“Please, give me another chance to prove how much you mean to me,” Davis pleaded.
Opening my mouth, I tried to speak but nothing happened. Thankfully, another voice came to my rescue.
“I though I’d made this clear before,” Reed’s deep voice interrupted. “She’s mine.” His gaze met mine, and I saw the question in his eyes that my heart was ready to answer. “If she’ll have me,” he added.
“I’m sorry,” I told Davis, stepping around him and walking into Reed’s open arms.
Reed pulled me into his arms, and I wrapped my arms around his middle and held on to him, loving how it felt to once again be held against his hard, solid body.
Lifting my head, I looked into Reed’s eyes. His hand caressed the side of my face, and a shiver raced down my spine. “I’m sorry for not believing in you.”
“I don’t want to live without you. There’s never been anyone for me but you, and there never will be. I love you, Ellie.”
“I love you too,” I whispered. Reed lowered his head and his mouth covered mine. I leaned my body into his and kissed him in front of everyone.
In the back of my mind I heard cheering, and realized with surprise that the crowd was applauding Reed and I.
The Justice of the Peace cleared his throat. “Do you two want to get married?”
“Yes,” Reed and I said together.
“Someone might as well enjoy this party. I paid a small fortune for it,” Uncle Jonathan said dryly.
“Don’t we need a marriage license and rings?” I asked.
Reed’s arm tightened around my waist, and his gaze locked with mine. “If it’s not legal, we’ll do again. I’ll marry you everyday for the rest of our lives if that’s what I have to do to make you mine.”
My heart was already bursting with happiness, and then Reed dropped to his knees before me. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, flipping it open and handing it to me. Inside was a brilliant, round, glittering diamond, encircled by smaller diamonds and set in platinum. It was gorgeous.
“Marry me?” Reed looked at me expectantly.
“Yes!” I threw my arms around him.
The crowd went wild. Reed and I were kissing, and didn’t notice the chaos around us.
Isabelle and Cora served as my maids of honor. Jase was Reed’s best man. My dad walked me down the aisle. Surprisingly, most of Brooke and Davis’ wedding guests stayed to see Reed and I get married.
When the Justice of the Peace asked for the second time that day if anyone objected laughter followed his comment, but no one spoke up and Reed and I were married.
“Are you ready to go home?” Reed asked, looking into my eyes.
“I’ve been ready for a long time.”
“Not yet,” Uncle Jonathon informed me. “There’s a dinner reception the two of you need to enjoy.”
Reed and I exchanged a look, and I knew that he’d go along with whatever I wanted to do. “I don’t feel right about taking over Brooke’s reception, Uncle Jonathon.
I appreciate the offer. Thank you.”
“I’m not taking no for an answer. If you don’t stay and enjoy it, it’ll go to waste. I’m sure Brooke would have wanted you to stay,” Uncle Jonathon finished, though I’m not sure how he said that with a straight face.
Brooke had already stormed out of the country club, and she’d be furious when she found out that I’d had taken over her wedding. Aunt Lacy had left as well. I was just about to decline when another voice interrupted.
“Listen to him. It’ll give him the chance to do something nice for his sister’s daughter.”
I looked up at the elderly couple that had come to stand beside Uncle Jonathon.
“We’ve never met,” the woman said, her hawkish eyes watching Reed and I, seeming to miss nothing. “I’m your great-grandmother.”
“If you and your husband will stay, it will give us the chance to get to know our great-granddaughter, something we should have done years ago,” the man, who was apparently my great-grandfather, replied.
“It’ll also give us the chance to apologize to your father,” Great-Grandmother said, glancing over at my dad.
He smiled at my grandparents and I knew it took a lot for him to forgive them given how they’d rejected my mother. My dad was one of the strongest men I knew. In a way he kind of reminded me of Reed.
“Come on everyone,” Uncle Jonathon called. “We’re having lobster and prime rib for dinner.
Reed was holding my hand and smiling down at me. I couldn’t have imagined a happier ending.
Epilogue
“Mrs. Bentley, what are you up to?”
I smiled, loving the sound of Reed saying my new name. In answer to his question, I straddled him and the bed sank beneath my knees as I placed one hand on his chest.
“What are you hiding?” he asked, sitting up and peering behind my back.
I pushed him back down, and showed him the silken rope I’d been holding behind my back. “Cora slipped this in with her wedding gift.” I smiled wickedly. “She thought we’d appreciate it.”
Fireflies From Heaven Page 23
