DOMINGUEZ
A taco!
GOMEZ
(turns away)No!
MANULO
A juicy taco! That’s what it is. A very juicy taco that Vamenos has to lean in at, arching his body so it won’t drop on the clothes.
VILLANAZUL
Ay, caramba!
GOMEZ
What’s he doing now?
MARTINEZ
Dancing!
GOMEZ
Dancing!!???
VILLANAZUL
With the cigar, the wine, and the taco!
MANULO
(moving his feet and hips)The Enchilada Cha-Cha-Cha. That’s a good tune.
GOMEZ
(enraged)Good tune? It’s our funeral march!
MARTINEZ
Hold everything! Someone’s coming to dance with him!
GOMEZ
(eyes closed)Wait! Don’t tell me! The big one… weighs two hundred pounds on the hoof? Ruby Escuadrillo?
A woman who is as big, colorful and impressive as the jukebox dances out of the shadows and circles Vamenos.
ALL
(gasping)Ruby Escuadrillo!
Gomez must turn back now and look in.
GOMEZ
That ox! That hippo!
MARTINEZ
She’s crushing the shoulder pads!
It’s true. She has hold of one of the shoulders of the white suit with her huge hand.
DOMINGUEZ
They’ve stopped dancing.
MARTINEZ
They’re going to sit down. She’s going to sit in his lap!
VILLANAZUL
No, not with all that powder and lipstick!
GOMEZ
Manulo! Inside! Grab that drink! Villanazul, the cigar! Dominguez, the taco! Martinez, dance Ruby Escuadrillo away!
ALL
Aye! Check! Right! Done!
They start to move, but freeze when:
A great two-ton truck of a man lumbers into sight from the street beyond, and pushes them out of the way, going into the cafe.
MARTINEZ
Toro!
VILLANAZUL
Hi, Toro!
GOMEZ
Toro? Was that Toro Ruiz? Ruby Escuadrillo’s boyfriend?
MANULO
Sure!
MARTINEZ
If he finds her with Vamenos!
MANULO
The white suit!
VILLANAZUL
It’ll be covered with blood!
GOMEZ
Don’t make me nervous! Quick! As before; taco, drink, cigar, Ruby. Me! I’m for Toro Ruiz!
MANULO
What a brave one, you, Gomez!
GOMEZ
Andale!
They all rush in and collide to a halt for they see:
Toro Ruiz, who has discovered Vamenos and Ruby, just as Ruby, laughing, sits down on Vamenos’s lap.
Bellowing, Toro runs forward. Ruby jumps up.
GOMEZ
Wait!
Toro, his hand out, freezes. Villanazul runs, grabs the cigar out of Vamenos’s mouth, smokes it. From here on, everyone moves in slow motion. They also speak in slow motion.
VILLANAZUL
(puffs)I need a smoke!
VAMENOS
(surprised)Hey!
Manulo grabs the glass, slowly.
MANULO
(gulps)I need a drink!
VAMENOS
(upset)Hey!
Dominguez seizes the taco, in slow motion.
DOMINGUEZ
(chewing)I’m hungry!
VAMENOS
(irritated)Hey!
Martinez grabs Ruby, slowly.
MARTINEZ
Ruby! Ruby!
He dances her off, slowly.
VAMENOS and TORO
(angrily)Hey!
Vamenos jumps up. Toro thinks he is being attacked and catches Vamenos. He grabs several yards of lapel and squashes it, but all with beautiful slow motion precision.
TORO
You! You!
At which all six owners of the suit yell, slowly.
GOMEZ
Let go!
MARTINEZ
Let go of Vamenos!
VILLANAZUL
No, let go the suit!
TORO
You dance, hah?
VAMENOS
No!
TORO
You tired, hah? I help you!
He dangles Vamenos like a marionette, so Vamenos tap-dances in spite of himself. Toro cocks a fist, slowly.
Gomez thinks quickly and steps in, slowly.
GOMEZ
(smiles)Don’t hit him. Hit me.
Toro hits him smack on the nose.
Gomez holds his nose and wanders off, tears stinging his eyes.
GOMEZ
Chi-hua-hua…
Villanazul grabs one of Toro’s arms, Manulo the other.
MANULO
You’re wrinkling the lapels!
VILLANAZUL
You’re ripping the buttons!
VAMENOS
You’re killing me!
DOMINGUEZ
Peon! Drop him! Let go!
MANULO
Cabron! Coyote! Vaca!
Toro wrenches the suit. All the men twist, wrench, in pantomime, with the agonized torture of the suit.
VILLANAZUL
Vamenos, go with the motion! Don’t fight. Where the suit goes, go! Otherwise-
Toro cocks his fist again, and in doing so, shakes Manulo free, as easily as knocking a poker chip from his elbow.
TORO
Now!
Gomez wanders back, just in time.
GOMEZ
(smiling bravely, holding his nose)Don’t hit him. Hit me.
Toro beams. Toro hits Gomez on both the nose and the hand holding the nose. Gomez puts the damaged hand under his other arm and puts a new hand up to his freshly mangled nose, wandering off.
GOMEZ
Chee-wah-wah…
At which point a chair, beautifully uplifted by Martinez, comes down on Toro’s head.
ALL
Aiiieeeeee!
They all stand back, waiting.
Toro shakes his head and carefully thinks over the facts: he has been hit; maybe, maybe he will not fall down. He cannot quite make up his mind. He sways. The men sway. He turns, dragging Vamenos, by the suit, with him. The men turn.
Now, slowly, Toro starts to sink down, down. But he still has hold of the lapels.
The men shout in at him, as if he were a long way off, and needs urgent instruction.
MANULO
Toro!
VILLANAZUL
The suit! The lapels!
GOMEZ
Let go!
Toro seems to hear their faint far calling. His glazed eyes flicker. But still he sinks.
ALL
Let… go!
And at the last moment, Toro blessedly opens his huge banana fingers.
Vamenos falls into the arms of his compadres.
Toro, like a poled ox, topples over, kicks, and lies, smiling foolishly. Instantly, the slow motion stops. From here on, everything returns to normal motion.
VAMENOS
(blinks)Hey… what’s going on?
GOMEZ
What?! Compadres! Out!
Vamenos is helped, lifted, carried around the ruin.
VAMENOS
Wait a minute! My drink! My taco! Ruby!
The doors slam shut. As they do so, the lights flash off. The jukebox goes off. The interior of the cafe vanishes from view, Ruby and Toro with it.
Outside, the men hold Vamenos.
VAMENOS
Put me down!
Gomez nods. They put him down. The picture of outraged dignity, Vamenos brushes the suit, fixes his tie, shakes away their hands which try to adjust the lapels and button the buttons.
VAMENOS
OK, OK. My time ain’t up!
ALL
(incredulous at his temerity)What!
&n
bsp; Vamenos takes Gomez’s wrist to peer at the watch.
VAMENOS
I still got two minutes and-let’s see-ten seconds-
GOMEZ
Ten sec-you! You dance with a Guadalajara cow! You smoke, you drink, you eat tacos, you pick fights, and now you got the nerve to say you got two minutes and ten seconds-
VAMENOS
(nervously)Two minutes flat, now!
A woman’s voice from off, away somewhere.
THE VOICE
Hey, Vamenos!
VAMENOS
Who’s that?
THE VOICE
(calling)Vamenos! Here! Ramona!
VAMENOS
It’s Ramona. Hey, Ramona!
THE VOICE
Vamenos, you sure look sharp!
All the men have turned to look off across the street.
VAMENOS
Ramona, wait! I’m coming over!
GOMEZ
Vamenos, come back! The street!
MANULO
What can you do in one minute and-(checks watch)-forty seconds?
VAMENOS
(winks)Watch! Ramona, here I come!
He runs off into darkness.
GOMEZ
Vamenos! Watch out!
MARTINEZ
That car!
MANULO
Jump!
We hear the car, the brakes, the horn. Out of sight, we hear Vamenos cry out.
ALL
Aaiiieeee … no!
A light flashes across the stage. The men all hold onto each other in fright, looking off, gabbling, no, no. Their heads move up over and along.
Vamenos is hurled backward out of darkness, falls on his back, rolls over and lies on his face, still.
The car guns its motor and races off. Gomez looks at the silent figure of Vamenos. Then suddenly it hits him what has happened and he runs a few steps after the car.
GOMEZ
Fiends! Fools! Murderers! Come back, come back!(he stops and sways)Kill me, someone. I don’t want to live.
But the car is gone.
Now all the men stand breathing hard, unable to move. They hold to each other a moment longer. Then the smallest motion from Vamenos sets them walking, shambling, then running to surround him. They stand looking down.
GOMEZ
Vamenos! You’re … alive!
Vamenos has his eyes shut, his hands clenched at his sides, his whole body stiff. He moans, he cries out.
VAMENOS
Tell me, tell me, oh, tell me, tell me.
MANULO
Tell you what, Vamenos?
VAMENOS
Tell me…
He stops to grind his teeth, to moan. The men crouch lower.
VAMENOS
What have I done … to the suit, the suit, oh, the suit… ?
The men touch him.
VILLANAZUL
Vamenos … why…
MARTINEZ
It’s OK…!
VAMENOS
(eyes still shut)You lie! It’s torn, it must be, and around, underneath … ?
They touch him further, they handle him gently, they turn him over.
GOMEZ
No. Vamenos, all around, underneath, on top, it’s OK!
VAMENOS
(opens his eyes)A miracle! Praise the saints! Oh, good, good!
Distantly a siren wails. The men look up.
DOMINGUEZ
Someone must’ve phoned for an ambulance!
VAMENOS
(stricken)An ambulance! Quick! Set me up! Take off our coat!
MANULO
Vamenos, you-
GOMEZ
Don’t worry, we-
VAMENOS
(rolling his eyes, gibbering)Idiots! The coat! The coat! Get it off me!
They humor him, lift him, start to take it off. The siren is louder.
VAMENOS
Yes, yes, that’s it. Quick! There!
They have the coat off.
VAMENOS
Now, andale, the pants!
ALL
The pants?!
VAMENOS
The pants, the pants, fools! Lost ones! Quick, peones! Those doctors!
GOMEZ
Doctors?
VAMENOS
You seen the movies!
MARTINEZ
Movies?
VAMENOS
In the movies they rip the pants with razors to get them off! They don’t care! They’re maniacs!
ALL
Maniacs!
They fly to work. Zip, zip, the pants are coming off now in a frenzy.
VAMENOS
Ah, God, careful! Ah, ah! Jesus, come after me, there, quick! The siren!
GOMEZ
Here it comes! The ambulance!
Everyone handles Vamenos at once.
VAMENOS
Right leg, easy, hurry, cows! Left leg, now, left, Ow, God… Martinez, now, your pants!
MARTINEZ
Mine?
VAMENOS
Take them off!
MARTINEZ
What?
ALL
Off! Fool! All is lost!
Bradbury, Ray - SSC 17 Page 6
