Janie started laughing too. “Waves hitting against my face, boobs forcing me up. I’d have to take up a job as a stripper or something instead. I bet the money would be better.”
Larissa laughed harder, imagining it, until suddenly she wasn’t laughing. The sobs came on unexpectedly and tears began flowing once again. “What am I going to do if it is cancer, Janie?”
Janie’s arms circled her and she hugged her tightly. “You’ll kick cancer’s ass.”
A firm tap sounded on the door and Dr. Akana walked in. Although he’d been all smiles yesterday during the procedure, the tall Hawaiian had a frown on his dusky face. “It’s stage two infiltrating ductal carcinoma,” he said without preamble. “I’ve sent off tests to see if it is HER2/neu positive.”
“What does that mean?” Janie asked.
The bottom fell out of the universe and Larissa struggled to control her rebelling lunch. “It means I have cancer again, and it’s aggressive.”
***
Quinn paced the small airport building, waiting for the last flight of the evening. He held a bunch of red roses, but was sure they wouldn’t cut it this time. He was going to have to make some changes in his life, and fast, if he wanted to get Larissa to forgive him again.
The best he could hope for was the lump wasn’t cancer. Then she might be angry she had to go through the test without him, but at least she wouldn’t be remembering what a jerk he was all through treatment as well.
The plane finally landed and taxied up the runway. Quinn ran to the window, watching the passengers disembark.
Seven people walked down the steps before Janie’s dark head appeared at the doorway. Quinn strained his eyes, watching for Larissa to exit behind her. Janie was all the way down the stairs and no one else stepped off.
Panic clawed and scraped away at him. Where was she?
As soon as Janie walked inside, Quinn stepped in front of her. “Why isn’t Larissa with you?”
Janie folded her arms and raised a thin eyebrow. “You have the nerve to come in here and demand answers? Your ass should have been with her this whole time.”
She was right, which made her words sting even more. “Is she okay?”
Janie licked her lips and looked away from him, which was all the answer he needed.
“It’s cancer?” he asked softly, not wanting anyone to overhear.
“You should have been there,” she repeated. “You’re a bigger asshole than her ex. At least he pretended to support her while she got through treatment. You couldn’t even be bothered to help her through the first flipping appointment.”
“That’s not fair.” Quinn felt heat flood to his neck and face as anger built inside him. He crushed the roses against his chest to keep from lashing out. “I have a job to do. People count on me.”
“Larissa knows that, which is why she’s not coming back. Congratulations, boss. You’re free to concentrate on your precious business.”
Janie stepped around him, wheeling her carry on behind her and not giving him a backward glance.
That was it, then. He’d ruined everything. Maybe he didn’t deserve to be happy. He was so obsessed with his problems that he hadn’t given a second thought to her needs. Their whole short relationship, Larissa had been the one giving while he did the taking.
The best thing he could do for her now was honor her wishes. She didn’t want to see him anymore. He’d only make things worse during an already difficult time if he didn’t keep his distance.
Quinn sat on one of the benches, dropping the flowers to the ground. Even if it was the right decision for her, it didn’t make things easy on him. Quinn had never known what a broken heart felt like before. He blinked back tears and swallowed the hard knot in his throat.
Larissa was the one for him. He’d never get over this pain.
He’d never stop kicking himself for throwing her love away.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Once again, Larissa’s mom sat next to her hospital bed, holding her hand while they waited for her surgery to start. Ray sat in the corner of the room, face drawn and tight. This time, it would be a double mastectomy followed by chemotherapy. She wasn’t looking forward to losing her hair or feeling sick all the time, but her surgeon felt the chemo was necessary considering the tumor grew so quickly and had spread to her armpit.
“One good thing about the McCallister’s insurance plan,” Larissa said, feeling grateful all over again, “it covers my regular medical team here at home.”
Elaine nodded. “That’s certainly a relief, sweetheart, but we would have come to Hawaii if we needed to.”
Having her treatment in Hawaii was never a consideration. When Larissa called John to tell him the diagnosis and that she wanted to go home for treatment, he assured her that whatever the insurance didn’t cover he would pay for personally. It was a kindness she didn’t dare refuse, even if Quinn wasn’t her man anymore. She hoped John would just see it as protecting a valued employee and not be disappointed that things were over between her and Quinn.
The past two weeks, she’d kept her phone on her at all times when she wasn’t at a doctor appointment, hoping, praying Quinn would call. She thought once he finished his project he would think things through and realize what they had was important. Unfortunately, she’d never heard a word. The relationship must have meant more to her than it did to him. It was better to find that out now she supposed, instead of years down the road.
Her only contact from the island was Janie, who called every day. Larissa hadn’t been brave enough to ask if she had talked to Quinn, and Janie never mentioned him.
“Are you doing okay?” Elaine asked, wiping at a tear Larissa didn’t even know had fallen. “Don’t be scared, okay. You’re in good hands with Dr. Keyes. She knows what she’s doing.”
Larissa shook her head. “It’s not that, Mom. I miss Quinn.” She shrugged. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but I wish he was here.”
Ray leaned forward in his chair. “A man doesn’t determine your value, princess. Don’t cry over him. He’s not worth the time you spend feeling hurt.”
She closed her eyes, knowing he was right but not having a choice. “The heart wants what it wants, Daddy.”
“Yeah, Ray,” Elaine scolded. “Don’t be too hard on her. I remember a man who didn’t give up on me when I broke things off. You’re just lucky I gave you a second chance.”
“You couldn’t live without me,” Ray said.
Elaine smiled. “Definitely not.”
As great as Larissa normally found her parents’ relationship, their happy banter ran counter to everything she felt right now. It would be ungrateful to ask them to leave, but she couldn’t wait for the nurse to come in and take her to Anesthesia. Drifting off to oblivion sounded great right about now. Larissa didn’t want to think anymore.
Especially since Quinn’s grey eyes were what kept flooding her thoughts, no matter how hard she pushed them away.
***
Quinn stood at the window inside Larissa’s massage studio, watching the rain beat down on the sandy beach and the waves crash against the shoreline. It was appropriate to have a storm ranging outside, mirroring Quinn’s unhappiness and torment.
After Larissa left, he’d commandeered her massage studio for his own, and no one had yet argued. It wasn’t like they needed the space for the spa, not with the weather like it was and resort guest numbers at a low.
He felt closer to Larissa here. Sure, it was the first place he ever pissed her off, but it was also the place they met and where he finally found the woman he could love for all time.
And he’d screwed up horribly.
“Larissa’s surgery is today.”
Quinn startled and spun around, shocked to see John standing in the doorway. “I didn’t hear you come in, Dad.”
“Janie said she’s having a double mastectomy,” John went on, as though Quinn hadn’t spoken.
Quinn turned back around to watch the storm. “I know. I sen
t Sydney to check on her when she gets out of surgery. She’s going to call me.”
“Don’t you think you should be the one Larissa wakes up to? Why are you still on the island?”
“I tried to call her last week, but her dad answered.”
“I didn’t know that. What happened?”
What happened was her father was right. Quinn was an asshole who had no right calling her and upsetting her when she was trying to cope with her illness. Ray made it clear he didn’t want Quinn anywhere near Larissa. Not that Quinn blamed him. The man must be afraid of losing his daughter, and Quinn upsetting her could slow her recovery. He had no right to beg her forgiveness after what he did.
Quinn sighed and looked over to the easel and canvas in the corner. “My painting of Larissa is coming along great, but every time I work on her face, she looks hurt and angry, the way she looked the last time we spoke. I’ve ruined everything, Dad. She doesn’t want me anymore and her parents certainly don’t want me around. I let her down.” Quinn felt like he would choke on the crushing pain in his heart. “All she wanted was to know I cared about her as much as I cared about this damn island. I proved to her I didn’t.”
The hard clomp of John’s shoes hitting the hardwood floor sounded through the room and his hand landed on Quinn’s shoulder. “And you think staying here is proving anything different?”
“But her dad said I should—”
“It’s not up to him,” John interrupted. “You need to talk to Larissa.”
“I’m afraid to face her. How many times can you hurt someone before they stop forgiving you? How bad of a screw up is too bad to forgive?” Quinn shook his head. “I can’t imagine anything worse than not being with her when the doctor told her she had cancer again.”
“Unless it’s not being with her while she goes through the fight of curing it.”
Quinn closed his eyes, fighting the tears that wanted to fall. It wasn’t manly to cry, and he definitely wouldn’t do it in front of his father. He was the strong one in the family, the son his father could count on. That was the whole reason he worked so hard.
John’s hand dropped from Quinn’s shoulder. “That’s a good painting, son. I wish you didn’t give up on your own dreams all the time in order to work on someone else’s. You deserve to be happy.”
The sound of John’s footsteps retreated from the room before Quinn opened his eyes again.
He stared at the painting of Larissa, wishing it were her real face instead. The only comfort was Sydney promised to call him as soon as she had information that Larissa was safely out of surgery. That was the only thing keeping him sane.
He walked back to the easel and picked up his brush. He wished he could find a way to make Larissa smile again.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Larissa still felt groggy when they rolled her out of recovery and back to her room. It was great to see her parents’ anxious faces, and another one she didn’t expect.
“Hey there,” Sydney said. “I’m here to report to the family how you’re doing. We’re all worried about you.”
“Except Quinn,” she replied, then wished she had bitten her tongue. The drugs made her too loose and unable to filter what she said.
Her mom walked to the side of the bed, brushing Larissa’s hair away from her forehead. “Let’s not talk about all that now, sweetheart. How are you feeling?”
How was she feeling? Chopped up, betrayed by her body, betrayed by her man... which answer was her mom looking for? Larissa literally bit her tongue, trying to snap herself out of her post-surgery funk before she said something that would hurt those around her. Just because she was angry and scared, that was no reason to upset them.
“I’m okay,” she managed to say. “There’s no pain right now, but I’m sure that will change.”
Her mom kissed her forehead. “Dr. Keyes came and talked to us while you were in recovery. Everything went well. She said cosmetically, if you change your mind later and get implants, everything went as expected and there shouldn’t be problems.”
Larissa held back her sigh. Her mom had been particularly persistent in her wish for Larissa to agree to reconstructive surgery. Elaine had actually urged her to hold off surgery to get everything prepared so they could do reconstruction at the same time as the mastectomies. That would have taken longer to plan, though, and Larissa didn’t want to give the cancer more time to spread. Her oncologist, Dr. Krentz, had agreed with Larissa’s plan of action, so Elaine lost the battle.
“I don’t care about my boobs, Mom. Did she get the cancer out of me?”
“Larissa,” her dad said, his tone scolding. “We don’t care about the boobs either. You know that. Your mom’s scared and trying to help you feel better.”
They’d already had this discussion the week she got home, and Larissa was too tired to have it again. “I’m sorry, Mom. I know you just want me to feel normal again as soon as possible. Now, can you please tell me Dr. Keyes’s opinion on the cancer? Did she get it all out of me?”
Ray came up on the other side of the bed to take Larissa’s hand. “Everything went as planned. With the chemo, you should be okay, even if it started to spread.”
“Good.” Larissa closed her eyes, unable to hold them open longer. “Thanks for being here. I love you guys.”
When she opened them back up, her chest ached horribly and the room was dark besides the light shining through from the bathroom. “Mom?”
A form shifted on the chair in the corner. “I sent them home to rest for a while.”
“Sydney? I thought I dreamed you were here.”
“Nope.” Sydney crossed the room, taking the seat nearer to Larissa’s bed. “Mom and Dad send their love and said to hurry and get well. Your job is waiting whenever you get back on the island.”
“That’s nice.” The longer she was awake, the worse the pain was getting. She wondered if a nurse would be along anytime soon with drugs. “Tell them thanks.”
“Parker said to tell you that you’re still the sexiest masseuse he’s ever seen and he wants to dance with you again at the next party. Shane says that before you come home, send him a request for your favorite foods and we’ll have a huge celebration dinner.”
Larissa nodded, wondering if she would get a blow-by-blow on what each sibling said. There was only one she cared about. Considering that Sydney switched right to the younger brother’s, Larissa guessed Quinn hadn’t sent a message.
“Brad also says to get well fast.” Sydney seemed oblivious to Larissa’s lack of interest.
“Tell them all thank you from me. I don’t know how long I will be gone. The chemotherapy is scheduled to last a few months. Hopefully I’ll be back before the end of the slow season.”
At least she would spend Christmas with her parents. That was one bright side to all this. Even if it meant she’d be without Quinn.
Sydney tipped her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. “You’re really not even going to ask about him?”
A pain different from the surgical wounds ripped through her body. That ache was becoming all too familiar. “I assumed if Quinn had sent a message, you would have told me. Did Project Green go through okay?”
“Yes, actually it did, even if Quinn was utterly destroyed all throughout the negotiations.”
Tears welled in Larissa’s eyes, as they did so easily these days, but she wouldn’t let Sydney make her feel guilty. She’d spent enough time feeling that way, and yet Quinn still hadn’t called. “I’m glad everything went well,” she said instead of defending herself for leaving. “I appreciate you coming by Sydney, but you really don’t have to stay. I know you’re probably busy with your charity obligations. Tell the family I said thanks for all the well wishes. When I’m better, I’ll have some decisions to make.”
Sydney’s mouth turned down at the corners. “What does that mean? You’re thinking about not coming back to the island? What changed in the past two seconds?”
He didn’t even send a mes
sage with his sister wishing her well. Sydney might say he was destroyed while they made the Project Green deal, but he wasn’t destroyed enough to tell his family to handle the deal themselves and come after Larissa. He wasn’t destroyed enough to pick up a phone and see if she was okay.
“Everything, Sydney. Everything changed.”
Sydney stood abruptly, blinking rapidly and looking like she was fighting tears of her own. “If you don’t love my brother, I wish you’d call and tell him. I can’t stand him so sad. You’re breaking his heart, Larissa.” She pointed at the wall where she had been sitting before. “Whenever you feel up to it, there’s something over there for you. I was supposed to wait and see your reaction, but it’s obvious you don’t want me here.”
As Sydney headed for the doorway, pangs of guilt pierced Larissa again despite her best attempts to stave them off. She really liked Sydney, and understood the woman was protecting her brother, not trying to be mean to her.
“Syd, wait.”
The younger woman turned at the doorway. “What?”
“Don’t worry. Of course I’m coming back. Your father has been way too good to me. I won’t leave him in the lurch like that.”
The other woman turned slightly, looking at Larissa over her shoulder. “I’m glad you’re worried about my father, but it’s my brother who needs you to speak to him right now.”
Larissa shook her head. “I can’t call him. My heart is broken too, because of how much I love him. All I want is to see him, but I can’t have him end things with me over the phone. I can’t take that.”
“How do you know he will?” Sydney sighed loudly and pushed a hand through her hair. “You’re both idiots. You know that?”
Larissa laughed bitterly. “That about sums us up.”
“I’ll send a nurse to check on you,” she said instead of responding to that directly. “I wish you a speedy recovery. I hope someday you and Quinn grow up.”
The sound of her clicking heels faded and Larissa sat in the semi-darkness, thinking about what she said. If Sydney was right, Quinn did love her, but that didn’t really matter. Larissa needed more than words. She needed him present and a part of her life, and Quinn loved the resort too much. He’d never give that up for her. Heck, he couldn’t even compromise and share time.
Happy Endings Page 19
