“Changing means you’ll never grow any older than you are at the time of your vampire birth. You’ll never grow old and feeble. You’ll never be sick or develop any kind of disease, not even a common cold. You’ll gain strength like you’ve never known before and eyesight to see clearly even in the blackest part of the night. You’ll move as fast as you want with no effort at all. No human will ever be a threat to you, physically speaking.”
“What else does it mean?” she whispered.
“My sweet Alea. Always so smart and inquisitive,” I praised. “There are things you won’t like, yes. Because we’re not alive but not quite dead, we can never have children. You’ll never feel the miracle of a baby growing in your body. You’ll never experience the pain and magic of childbirth. You’ll never know the bond of nursing a babe on your breasts.
“You’ll have to feed on human blood. Whether you take a life or not is up to you—there are ways around it if you’re careful. But it takes incredible willpower and strength to stop feeding once you’re past a certain point. It’s different for all of us, but it’s there nonetheless.
“You can never tell your family what you’ve become. If you maintain contact with them, they’ll ask why you haven’t conceived a child. They’ll notice you haven’t aged, especially when their own mirror reflects the ravages of age. And as time marches on, you’ll witness every human you know and love die while you live on.
“Your friends will be other vampires, for the most part. Our clan will become your family. Mortals won’t understand us, and the questions become impossible to dodge. This way of life changes everything you know and all you’ve ever wanted in your current life. You have to know and understand that before you decide.
“In truth, I could force this on you and not give you the option. In doing so, it would absolve you of the burden I’ve put on you. But I love you too much for that. If your answer is no, there will never be another for me. No other woman will ever know my love and devotion. But you can still have everything you’ve ever dreamed of—a man who loves you, children, growing old together, and enjoying your grandchildren. You still have that option, because I love you enough to want you to be happy, regardless if that’s with me or not.”
* * *
Alea Dunn, October 1790
The wheels in my mind turned at a blinding speed as I absorbed his every word. When he first announced he was a vampire, my natural inclination said he was pulling a prank on me. It was my self-preservation kicking in, telling me not to play the fool and blindly believe him.
But that thought immediately vanished because he continued speaking, explaining the differences I could expect to experience after my vampire birth. That’s when it hit me—he only listed the positive aspects of it, the things I could look forward to in my new reality. For every positive, there’s a negative. For every give, there’s a take. With all the new life had to give me, I had to know what it would take away.
My dreams of having a large family with several children filling my heart and my home?
Gone.
Looking forward to growing old with the love of my life, as is the natural progression?
Taken.
Watching my children grow into adults and have children of their own?
Vanished.
Large gatherings of family and friends during holidays and special events in their lives?
That could never be.
I sat motionless as the images of what might have been played out in my mind’s eye. I saw each one so clearly I could almost reach out and touch it. I felt the birth and loss of each child as surely as if I’d actually experienced it.
When I finally raised my eyes and met Slade’s, everything faded away, becoming no more important than the background noise of the area that surrounded us. In his eyes, I saw my new future, and it was filled with new and exciting things I’d never known existed.
It held the promise of a love that would last a literal eternity. Love that could never diminish or fade. It would only grow stronger, and the bond would only become deeper. My soul knew what my mind couldn’t comprehend at first.
None of my previous plans would work without Slade, because I could never be happy with anyone else. My life and death were bound to him in a way that could never be undone. He would let me go, giving me the opportunity to experience those things with someone else. But it would never be enough—because it would never be with him.
“I’ve known the truth since the moment I met you, Slade. You are my forever. Whether forever means in human form or as a vampire makes no difference to me. Without you, I wouldn’t want to live another day.
“I can’t pretend the thought of this doesn’t scare my wits completely out of me. There’s so much unknown. So much that doesn’t fit into what I’ve believed to be true my whole life. All I know for certain is I can’t see my future without you in it.
“But I must confess, I have so many questions. So many things I don’t understand.”
“Ask. Ask me anything. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”
“Vampires can’t walk in the daylight. They don’t eat food or drink wine. They kill everyone they see. They sleep in coffins, and they’re cold, like a dead person. How is it none of these things applies to you?”
“I’m not cold because I drink blood from the living. Just like your blood gives you your warmth, blood saturates my tissues and keeps me warm. We don’t kill everyone we see—we actually have very specific tastes in blood, much like your taste in food. There is a slight difference, though. You know how you can’t resist some scents?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“We can’t either. If we don’t like a scent, it makes us angry, and that’s who we feed on. If we like the scent, it gives more of a calming effect on us. Let’s see, what other questions did you have? Oh yes, the daylight. That’s not true—we can walk just fine in the light. Strong sunlight can make us slightly weaker, but it doesn’t burn us. We don’t sleep in coffins. We can eat and drink human food, but it won’t sustain us like blood does. We’ll die without blood, but we can live without food and water.”
“So that’s how I’d be too? I’d have to kill people and drink their blood to survive?”
“Yes. My answer is cold and direct because you have to come into this life with full knowledge of what you’ll have to do, what you’ll have to become. And it has to be your choice.”
“My answer hasn’t changed. My place is at your side. For all eternity. When does this happen? And how?”
“I’ll change you myself, but not for several more years. You’ve just turned eighteen. If I turn you now, you’ll always be this age. There’s so much more you can experience as a human first, but still by my side. There are more changes your body will undergo as you mature. When the time is right, I’ll explain everything about the process to you. For now, we’ll plan our wedding like normal humans and let your parents enjoy every minute of it.”
“My parents,” I sighed. “How will I ever explain this to them?”
“You won’t have to for a while, my love. When the time comes that our situation becomes evident, we’ll discuss the best way to handle it. There are ways around it. So we can enjoy our time with them for now. I talked to your father before bringing you here. He knows I planned to propose today, and we have his blessing.”
I leapt into his arms and kissed him all over his face. To hear he’d taken the chance of talking to my father first, of asking for his approval and risking that my father would say no, made me feel cherished and loved. His main concern, his only concern, was my happiness. “When will we be married? I don’t want to wait another day.”
“I’m immortal, and there’s no one I fear,” he replied with confidence. “Except your mother where your wedding is concerned. That date, my love, will be up to you two.”
The rest of the day and evening were more than I could’ve asked for. Slade was loving, thoughtful, and romantic in every gesture. Our walks by the rive
r, the stroll through the woods, the time we spent alone in the extravagant tent. The way he refused to make love to me, even though I begged him without a shred of modesty or self-respect.
He admitted to the nights he snuck into my room. Some were times he entered my dreams. Some were times I was actually under his trance and I only thought it was a dream. When he confessed, I found I couldn’t even be mad at him for the intrusion. Every dream and every encounter had just been too delicious and incredible to have an instant of regret.
When we returned and he said good night to my parents, I jumped into my father’s arms and thanked him for his approval. He grinned and said he’d sent a letter to Sean’s family when he first saw Slade and me together. He knew Slade was the man for me at first sight and knew he should break the ties of my betrothal immediately. Then I kept my mom up half the night making wedding plans. I want to marry Slade as soon as possible—as quickly as we can pull everything together. Tomorrow sounded great to me, but for some reason, Mother refused to accept my request.
She did agree to one week, however, since the bulk of our family and friends are in the London area. The ceremony will be intimate and elegant, small and personal, quick and timeless. For the past week, my days have had new purpose and my nights have had new meaning. Every detail of my nuptials has been planned, every invitation has been hand-delivered, and every second hand of the clock seems to take longer to tick by.
Our wedding is tomorrow!
* * *
Ramses Barnett, 1790
Months. I’ve been gone for months. First, I tried feeding on animals in the forest, living like a wild animal myself. When that didn’t satiate me, I resorted stalking people in the streets of the surrounding cities like a raving lunatic. All to try to get her scent out of my head. All to keep from ruining any chance of happiness and success for my brother and me. All to keep from drinking every last drop of that girl’s blood, to keep from sinking my teeth into her perfectly smooth skin and getting off on the feel of it, and to hold on to the last shred of “human decency” I had in me. After all, she was still too young to turn—even too young to feed on unless there was no other option.
And I’d finally achieved my goal. I’d finally gotten her out of my system.
Until I returned to our city.
The scent of her blood hung over the streets like a heavy fog rolling in from the ocean. It wrapped around me like a thick cocoon and pushed my impulsiveness over the top. I had to have her. I couldn’t fight it any longer. I couldn’t wait another second. I couldn’t survive one more night without the taste of her sweet blood in my mouth.
Like a moth to a flame, the pull to her family home drew me in, and I couldn’t stop it. Even if I’d wanted to, which I didn’t. I moved silently through the house like a stealthy animal stalking my prey. I loved the hunt—creeping up on my victim, pouncing when they least suspected it, watching the shock drain from their eyes as life left them. I loved it even more when they fought me tooth and nail, trying to hold on to life with every shred of strength they possessed. It makes it even sweeter when I win.
And I always win.
When I reached her room, she wasn’t there. She hadn’t slept there in weeks—her scent was barely distinguishable. She didn’t live there anymore.
My feet seemed to move faster than light or sound in my quest to find her. On my obsessed hunt, I spent most of the night tracking her scent from place to place until it finally led me to the house where the scent was the strongest. It was her unique scent, mixed with the aromatic scent of feminine arousal.
When I finally stopped, it took several heartbeats—her heartbeats, to be exact—to realize exactly where I stood.
I watched as another man enjoyed the pleasures she provided in his bed. She straddled his hips, rolling hers back and forth as she rode him with her head thrown back in ecstasy. He reveled in the sensations her perfect body provided. He relished every whimper and wisp of her scent.
He was my brother.
She was my obsession.
My brother Slade was fucking Alea, my immortal obsession.
Chapter 8
Ramses Barnett, 1790
In the haze of lunacy surrounding me during my search for Alea, I didn’t even notice where I was until I saw Slade’s face. There was no recognition of his house. There was nothing familiar about his street. My only focus was to find Alea—following her scent wherever it led me. When I was able to think clearly again, the sight of my brother with the object of my affection pushed me over the edge of sanity and into a place I’ve never been.
And where I hope never to be again.
The rage built inside me to unbelievable levels. All I could think about was killing my brother for betraying me and how good the last drop of his little whore’s blood would taste as it slid down my throat. They could spend eternity in hell together for all I cared. The only reason I didn’t barge in and exact my revenge on the spot was because the heavy fog surrounding my brain cleared enough for me to remember my brother’s strength far exceeded mine. As do his focus and determination. Had I ambushed him and his little wife, he would’ve killed me before I could inflict any damage on him.
No. My revenge took some planning to effectively carry out. When I make my move, every aspect must be so carefully calculated that every possible scenario has been considered. It had to be so thorough that nothing would be left of them to piece back together.
That time had come at last. It took weeks of waiting and watching. But finally, I made my move. Slade still hadn’t turned Alea. I had no idea why he’d waited, but I smelled her blood long before I reached their house. It was almost as if fate herself had smiled down on me. The one thing I wanted so badly I could barely function—especially all the weeks when I was in her presence—was now within my grasp.
Slade was out of town on one of his business trips. Alea had planned to go with him, but her mother became ill with influenza. Such a serious condition these days without the proper care. Alea couldn’t leave her in good conscience. Slade, being the man he’s always been, insisted she stay home, and he’d cut his trip short to rush back as soon as he could.
That still left plenty of time for me to carry out my plan.
On my command, my personal army of vampires moved in on the Dunns’ residence. Alea had been staying there at her mother’s bedside since the morning Slade left. This is where she’d become mine—where it all started, where I put all the time in to win her trust, to capture her heart, and eventually take all I wanted from her.
We moved through the walls and windows as wisps of smoke. Our normal movements are too fast for the human eye to register, making it all too easy to move among the staff without being detected. I followed her scent to her parents’ bedroom. Behind that closed door was the one woman who hadn’t left my thoughts from the first day I locked on to her scent. With my anticipation at an all-time high, I moved through the door and prepared to drink my fill.
Clarence and Frances were in the bed asleep. But Alea was nowhere to be found. Her scent was still so strong in the room I would’ve sworn she was still there. The only explanation was I’d missed her by mere seconds. The clip-clop of horse’s feet echoed from the driveway below the master bedroom windows. Clarence turned over, wrapped his arm around his wife’s waist, and pulled her close to him.
“I’m glad you feel better now, my dear,” he told Frances. “Alea hasn’t slept in the room with us since she was a toddler. I haven’t slept well in the last several nights, knowing she was likely awake and watching you. It was unnerving.”
They both laughed, the love and appreciation for their only child still evident in their tones, before Frances replied. “She helped me get over it much faster than I would’ve without her. Still, I’m glad she was able to go home tonight. She wanted to be there when her husband gets home.”
That was all I needed to hear.
The telepathic connection I have with my army of changelings is strong. I can send out a command
through a single thought, and they will obey. When Frances referred to Slade with such a loving, approving tone after they’d shunned me as a suitor for their daughter, I issued the command.
My family, my clan, swooped in on the Dunn household staff and ripped their throats out. Not one of them stopped until the very last drop of blood remained in their veins. Until every servant had one foot in the grave and the other on sinking sand. Then they turned them—each and every one of them—and added them to our clan. The entire household, except for Clarence and Frances. They were mine, and I’m not one for sharing what’s mine.
Frances was frozen in terror as she watched me feed on her husband. Her eyes were wide open, along with her mouth. She wanted to scream, but physically couldn’t. She tried to make sense of what was happening, but mentally couldn’t. She tried to reason with her rational mind that she was in a horrible nightmare, but realistically couldn’t.
Though my vampiric features change my appearance to a degree, I’m still easily identified by those who know me. Frances and Clarence knew me well—but they still couldn’t fully appreciate the irony of the situation. Because they couldn’t fully believe it was actually me. They lost all capacity for logical analysis of the situation when they watched me change before their eyes.
Clarence fell limp on the bed, his body completely drained of blood. His eyes were open and fixed in death. Frances stared at him, slack-jawed and trembling uncontrollably. Her eyes strayed up to my face, and she started shaking her head from side to side. Denial took over as she shut down mentally. She could only whisper “no” repeatedly.
It made me smile.
“Yes, Frances. This is happening. It’s not a terrible nightmare you’ll tell Clarence all about tomorrow morning. It’s not your imagination playing tricks on you. You’re not going insane. In fact, you’re not going anywhere. Ever again. If it’s any consolation, neither is your daughter. You’ll all meet again in the afterlife. Nothing to worry your pretty little head over.”
Immortal Envy Page 8
