Justin stared silently back at me, lifting one hand to rub the back of his neck. “What are you doing here, Della?” he asked in a flat tone, his gray eyes staring over my shoulder, like he was trying to avoid looking at me.
“Justin.” I reached out a hand to smooth out the mess of his hair, but stopped midway. We weren’t a couple anymore. We were more like strangers and that certainly wasn’t something strangers did. Plus, Justin seemed disgusted by the thought of me even touching him. His nose was scrunched in distaste, and his jaw was clenched tightly.
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” I blew out a breath, and shifted on my heels.
His brows rose, and he shoved his hands back into his pockets. “Okay? Yeah, I’m okay. Fucking fantastic.” His lips formed a tight line as he looked behind me again as if to dismiss me.
It stung, but I knew he was hurting, and I knew all too well about lashing out at people when you were hurting. “Okay, well I didn’t mean to—”
“Stop,” he snapped, holding one hand up to interrupt me, and I bit down on my lip to keep myself from talking. “I have no clue why the fuck you’re here, and I really don’t care. I don’t need to deal with this shit, so please leave.”
My body reeled back as if he had slapped me across the face. I almost wish he had, because I think his words hurt even worse. Tears welled up in my eyes once again, as I stared at this stranger in front of me. I never heard such harshness come out of Justin’s mouth before, especially directed at me. I opened my mouth to say something—anything—that would change his mind. He was in a bad place right now, I got that, but the way he was treating me, just wasn’t Justin.
I clamped my lips tightly shut when he turned his head, ignoring me as I stood in front of him. It was pathetic, and it definitely wasn’t me. Adelaide McGregor did not let people treat her like shit. Ever.
I let out one final huff, feeling just a teensy bit guilty for being a drama queen, before I spun on my heel and headed back out to the parking lot. I was not going to break down. I avoided everyone’s eyes as I left.
Yeah, I’m sure I was the least of their concern at that moment, but it was still embarrassing as hell. What happened to Justin? The one who worshipped the ground that I walked on. The one who never said a hurtful thing to me in the time we had been together.
Maybe I would never find out, because something deep inside me told me I would never see Justin Parker again. And just the thought made every part of my body, inside and out, feel like it was being ripped apart all over again.
WHAT IN THE hell was that?
I popped off the top of my third beer since arriving back at my parents’ house, taking a long swig to try to forget about the whole damn day.
Della showing up to my dad’s funeral was…more than shocking, to say the least. Just thinking those two words together was shocking enough, and Della had to show up, making things worse than they already were. Sure, I missed her like hell and her presence alone was comforting, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. The fact that my dad’s death was what finally brought her back to me pissed me off. Like I was supposed to be happy about her showing up? I had no fucking clue when I would be happy again, but knowing that Della was there, didn’t do it. I felt guilty for basically banishing her from the funeral, and I could see the pain in her eyes from the way I was treating her, but in that moment, I just couldn’t care.
“What’s going on, asshole?” Jared clinked his beer bottle against mine, the tapping of the glass bringing me back to reality. The reality that my dad had just died for no damn reason, and we were surrounded by all of these people who were watching us like we were some guppies in a fish bowl. I could see the pity in their eyes, and I hated it. I knew I should be thankful that my dad had been so loved, that he had been such a great guy, but today, I just wanted to be alone.
I grunted in response to my older brother, setting my empty bottle down on the table behind me that was filled to the max with every casserole anyone could ever imagine, and shoved my hands into the pockets of my suit coat.
“So, Mom’s searching for Della.”
My head snapped toward him and he looked at me with raised eyebrows. “Well, she’s not coming,” I huffed. “I made sure of that.”
“Really?” Jared pulled on his tie, bumping his shoulder into mine. “I thought you would be all over that shit the second she walked in today. I saw your face when she showed up. It was priceless.”
“Yeah, well.…” I let my words drop off as I scrubbed a hand over my face. I didn’t want to talk to Jared about this. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about Della.
I’m sure what I was feeling when I saw Della today had been written all over my face, but I tried to mask it quickly, pushing away anything I was feeling at that moment. A thousand different emotions slammed into me when I first laid eyes on her. And that dress she wore, hugging every inch of her curves, flaring slightly at her hips that I just wanted to sink my fingers into, feeling her body mold against mine as I buried my nose in her hair to smell that familiar, comforting shampoo she always used.
Her pale blue eyes widened when they landed on mine, her heart shaped lips pushing into a small O. I wanted to push through everyone and make those lips mine again, but I didn’t. She looked like perfection, and I was probably the only one who saw through the façade. She was nervous as hell to be there, but after years of that mother of hers drilling it into her to always be perfect in everything, she was pretty good at masking things.
But it didn’t matter. Too much happened, too much time had passed. And she was with that douchebag Nash now. Her showing up was like a punch to the balls. How could she not see that?
“You know Mom’s pissed, right? She saw what happened between the two of you at the funeral home.”
“What?”
Jared nodded in confirmation, and that made me feel like an even bigger asshole. My mom and Della easily hit it off the first time that I brought her home. She had almost felt equally as upset as I had when Della ended things and didn’t talk to me for two weeks straight.
I saw how my mom reacted today when Della showed up, but she seemed to break down whenever my dad’s name was mentioned, which was understandable. I didn’t know how long it would take for her to be somewhat happy again.
I didn’t even stop to think that she would be watching when Della came over to where I was standing. I don’t know why she wouldn’t have. Moms see everything. Everything.
“Well, Della’s not coming. I made her leave, and I don’t think she’ll have the balls to show up here.” Even though I could totally see Della doing something like that just to piss me off, I think today was different. She at least knew that it just wasn’t the day to give me shit, and after I treated her the way I did, I wasn’t so sure I would ever see her again.
“You made her leave?” Jared repeated, a slight smirk on his face. “Wow, and she didn’t bitchslap you for that one? I feel like doing it for her. Mom’s gonna be pissed.”
“Mom doesn’t need to know,” I said, turning to grip his arm, and he looked down, narrowing his eyes at my hand before roughly shaking it off.
“Whatever, J. You do whatever the hell you wanna do with your life. I won’t say a word to Mom, but I’m sure she’ll figure it out. She always does.” He left me standing there alone, and I knew he was right, but I really didn’t care.
I just needed to get out of this house that only seemed to be getting smaller and had way too many memories, that right now, I just wanted to forget.
“I DEFINITELY DIDN’T expect to see you tonight.”
I tipped my chin up in response, and eyed RJ, motioning to him that I needed another drink. I wasn’t even sure how many I was up to, but I guess it was a good thing that I had taken a taxi because there was no way I was up for driving, or even walking, out of here tonight.
“Sorry about your dad, man.” Brian leaned across the counter of the bar and awkwardly patted me on the shoulder. “I’m sure you’re probab
ly sick of hearing that shit, but I don’t know what else to say.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, breathing a sigh of relief when RJ brought me another drink and gave me his usual wink. At least someone was acting a little normal around me. Usually his little crush on me got on my nerves, but this time it didn’t. Shit, maybe I have had way too much to drink.
“You know Della’s working tonight, right?”
I shrugged my shoulders at Brian, picking up the menu that I knew like the back of my hand to distract myself. I hadn’t been in here since the summer because of that fact alone, but tonight, I just needed a drink, and what better place than Shorty’s? I worked here all throughout college; I wasn’t going to not come here because of Della. Or maybe I was just trying to torture myself? Probably the latter.
“Whatever, this place is big enough to avoid her, besides I doubt she’ll be overjoyed to see me. In fact, she’ll probably be trying to avoid me, too.”
Brian lifted his brows in response, but didn’t say anything or ask any questions, which was probably a good thing. Della was one of his favorite employees, probably because she brought a lot of business in. Who wouldn’t want to come here to eat while enjoying the view that her barely there work “uniform” gave? He would probably be pissed at me for how I treated her. Even though the day was tough on me, there was no excuse for it. But for now, I didn’t want to deal with that shit.
So, when someone slid into the seat next to me, it was a much-appreciated distraction. I just needed to forget for a little while, all of the shit that had happened in the past year or so. I needed to go back to being the old Justin Parker. The one who didn’t care about or love any girl. The one who used them, and moved on to the next.
That was exactly who I needed to be.
AFTER SCREAMING THE whole way back to the house, I thought I had finally gotten all of my anger and frustration out for the way Justin treated me. I knew he was going through a difficult time, and I knew that a funeral wasn’t exactly the best place for us to make up, or anything, but he had no right to treat me the way that he did.
He’s the one that was an ass to me. He’s the one who doomed our relationship from the very beginning by starting it based on a lie. He said he wanted something serious with me, but I think it had been based on guilt. Guilt for what he did with that girl right before coming to see me, acting like he only wanted to be with me.
Bullshit.
Who knew if the overwhelming amount of love that I felt for him, and still felt, was ever really truly requited? People that loved someone didn’t treat each other like that. Ever.
I slammed the front door behind myself, rushing to my bedroom to strip out of my dress and then slide into a pair of black shorts and the Shorty’s shirt that ended just above my ribs. I tossed my hair into a messy bun at the same time as I slid my feet into my shoes, and rushed back through the living room, grabbing my purse from the couch where I’d tossed it.
I should’ve had plenty of time to get ready before work but I didn’t come straight home after leaving the funeral home. Instead, I let myself have a mini tantrum after pulling off onto the side of the road. Yeah, I acted like a two-year old, cursing Justin and everything about him, stupid, sexy asshole that he was. The anger that bubbled up in my chest was almost unrecognizable. Justin seemed to be one of the only people to get me so worked up, but this was a whole new level.
By the time I arrived at Shorty’s, a little bit of the tension from the day had lifted, but not much. Once I walked through the front entrance, all of it immediately recoiled back into my body, making it feel like I was run over by a car multiple times, and all I wanted to do was go straight back out the door.
This had to be a freaking dream—more like a nightmare, really. I took one step forward, squinting my eyes to confirm that what I was seeing was real. I saw RJ smirking behind the bar, which was enough confirmation. That man hated me for whatever reason. Maybe because he saw me as competition for Justin or something, though I doubt he would ever swing that way.
My head snapped back to what, or should I say whom, RJ was smirking at, and I bit down hard on my trembling lip, trying to stop myself from breaking down. There was Justin, still dressed in the fitted, black dress pants from the funeral, but his white collared shirt was rolled at the sleeves, showing off his tattooed covered arm. His head was covered by the beanie he often wore, pulled down low, but those smoky eyes were still visible.
But instead of looking like a depressed man sitting at the bar, nursing a drink, he had some whore perched on his lap, his hands at the hem of her very short skirt and her head nestled into the crook of the neck that I knew all too well.
Yes, he was a complete asshole earlier, and I was trying to be somewhat understanding, but this…this was all happening just to be rubbed in my face. He knew that I worked here again, and he probably knew that I would be here tonight. He was doing it on purpose, and I had no freaking clue why. The one thing that I did know was that it hurt like hell, even after not being with him for so long.
Deep in my heart, I just felt that we would be together again someday, but clearly, Justin wasn’t feeling the same way. Sure, the girl sitting on his lap was probably just one in a long line of many, but it said a lot. It said that he wanted to show me that I didn’t matter, that we were over and there was no hope. And to leave him the hell alone, which I definitely planned on doing. I didn’t need Justin Parker, and I didn’t want him anymore, either.
There was no way to not walk past him, so I did it as quickly as I could, darting my eyes to the ground until I reached the kitchen, breathing a sigh of relief when my hand landed on my timecard. How in the hell was I going to deal with him all night? I had a feeling he would hang around for a while, probably just to torture me.
“So, you saw that our boy is here?”
I turned around while I finished tying my apron around my waist, snorting at Kassie who was biting back a smile.
“Justin Parker is not my boy. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to be yours.”
“Been there, done that,” she muttered, before shoving an order pad at me. My back stiffened at the reminder that her and Justin had been together. It was just a one night stand, but knowing that Justin had a lot of those still stung, even though I shouldn’t care.
I didn’t care, really.
Kassie never really brought it up, though, and after fighting back a whole lot of jealousy after I found out, we ended up being pretty good friends. We worked together nearly every shift, and sometimes got together outside of work too.
“Well, I’m done with him.”
Kassie raised an eyebrow, knowing that I’d been waiting for a romantic reunion with Justin for a while now, but I shook my head at her. I really didn’t want to relive today by telling her what happened, and clearly Justin was busy, so I didn’t think it needed too much of an explanation.
“If you say so,” she replied in a singsong voice before sticking an order up on the line. “I saw Callie and Zoey show up a minute ago. You cool with taking the back section?”
“Absolutely.” I blew out a breath, snagging a pen as I headed out of the kitchen. At least in that section I wouldn’t have to see Justin constantly in my line of vision, probably one of the main reasons Callie and Zoey sat there. Their expressions as I approached their table confirmed that.
“What in the hell is Justin doing here? And why isn’t he trying to win you back instead of having some slut crawl all over his lap? What happened today, Della? I figured he would’ve been happy to see you. We should go beat his ass, right?”
I smiled slightly at Callie who, as usual, seemed to be talking a mile a minute. She was obviously flustered, and I couldn’t blame her. What she was feeling about the whole situation was exactly what I was feeling, multiplied by ten.
Zoey rolled her eyes, nudging her in the side with her elbow. “Calm down, Callie.”
I licked my lips and shrugged, not really wanting to get into things. “Don’t worry about it
.” Both of their eyebrows shot up, but luckily, they didn’t question me. “Are you guys just drinking, or did you want something to eat, too?”
“Oh, I think we’re gonna need some drinks,” Callie responded quickly. “And we might as well order some food too, because we’re gonna be here for a while.” She narrowed her eyes in the direction where I knew Justin was sitting. “Whatever you do, Della, don’t turn around.”
Zoey snorted loudly when my head whipped around, my eyes locking with his. What could I say? It was like an instinct to turn around when someone told you not to. At least for me.
His lips curled into a smirk as he raised a shot glass in my direction, tipping his head back to down it quickly. His tongue darted out, licking his lips slowly, and of course, I couldn’t help but squeeze my legs together. Stupid body was betraying me like a bitch. How could one little action have me about ready to melt into a puddle right on the spot?
His eyes never left mine as he slammed the glass back down onto the counter, motioning to RJ with one finger for another, and I couldn’t seem to tear mine away from his. All while that stupid girl continued to sit on his lap, gazing adoringly at him while her hands slid underneath his shirt and he completely ignored her. She had no clue what she was getting into. He would forget her name by morning, if he even knew it now.
I shook my head, blinking away tears as I faced my friends, furiously writing down Callie and Zoey’s order that I knew by heart without them even telling me.
“Della—” Zoey started quietly, but I interrupted her, already heading in the direction of the kitchen.
“I’m fine, really. I’m gonna go put your order in, and I’ll be right back with your drinks.” I tried to push a smile onto my face, but it was useless. My face felt numb and didn’t want to cooperate with any display associated with happiness. I didn’t deserve this. I shouldn’t have gone today, I should’ve approached him differently. He was the one who had hurt me, the one who said he would do anything to get me back. Well, obviously, he had a change of heart, and really, I didn’t care.
Twisted Bliss Page 3
