“Will you be—?”
“I thought you said...” I cut her off and my hand gripped onto her covered thigh as it showed a perfect view between the woman’s legs. Except, it was blurred out. Before I could even finish, I made out the baby’s dark hair and the room leaned. Or my head had, right through Victoria’s thighs, which was physically impossible. Not good. Not good! I was stronger than this. I wanted a baby more than anything. What was I afraid of?
One more scream and mere seconds later, the baby was lifted. I finally took a breath. The soft cry of the little boy had tears blinding me. And, there it was…the child they had been waiting nine months for. There. With them. For life. And I was okay.
Somehow, I managed to push myself up, in awe of what I was seeing. So soon, I’d have a new baby. One I could see born just like this. Dark hair. Tiny arms and legs. A small voice, if that even made sense. And to think I’d almost lost my chance.
“I told you this was emotional.” Sniffling had me turning around. The tears streaming down her face were followed by a grin. One that disappeared as I moved in closer. I didn’t care that Victoria didn’t want me to touch her. I sat against the headboard, pulling her into my arms. The action caused her to break down completely. Her arms came up, making a barrier between our bodies. Pressure from them pushed against my chest as she tried to turn away.
“Stop,” I said, lowly. “Just let me hold you.”
“No. This isn’t concerning the baby. This is about me and you’re not allowed to provide comfort there.”
Her voice didn’t sound at all convincing.
“Wrong. Your moods affect the baby. I read it in a book. Therefore, I have every right to soothe you.” My arms tightened while she let out an aggravated sound, but continued crying. Now, for all the wrong reasons. Shit. “Besides, I love you. That’s good enough reason for me.”
“Stop it,” she snapped, trying to jerk away. “Everything was going fine until this. Hands to yourself, remember? I’m not falling back into your trap, Devlin. We share children. We do not share ourselves with each other anymore. Now, let me go before I pull the plug on this entire thing.”
And she would try. I knew it. My teeth clenched as I let go. It was too soon, but fuck if I could stop myself.
“Fine. But I do love you, and if you’re going to threaten to kick me out over telling you, that’s a pretty shitty reason. Think of Ava. She wants me here. And to have a father who is affectionate with her mother isn’t a bad thing, in my opinion. She needs to see that, Victoria.” I slid down the bed and laid my head back in her lap, only generating another growl from her.
“Devlin, don’t you dare bring Ava into this. You didn’t consider her when you were Domming that woman, marking every inch of her body. Or when you tried to hide it from me.”
“What makes you angrier, Victoria? That I Dommed her? Or that there was another woman?”
Her eyes narrowed, but she stayed quiet.
“Well?”
“Both.” She shifted and crossed her arms over her chest. I could tell she wanted to kick me off. Truthfully, I was half-surprised she hadn’t attempted to.
My breath came out ragged. “That’s not what I asked you. Answer the question. Which makes you angrier?”
“The Domming. Hands down. I…” She closed her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about this. It doesn’t matter. It’s over.” The pain shined through as she reopened them and stared at the ending of the show. To see her so upset at what I’d done only made the guilt eat at me even more.
“If I could take it back, I would in a heartbeat.”
Her head shook while she stared straight ahead. “I’m done arguing. You couldn’t have known I would give in. And then where would you be? She could have been it for you and then this conversation wouldn’t have mattered. Perhaps you should try to work things out with her instead.”
“Never. You’re the only one for me.” My head fell to the mattress at her abrupt exit from the bed. I rolled to my stomach, watching her leave the bedroom. Damn, I had a lot of fixing to do if I was going to win Victoria over. She was as tough as nails. Breaking through walls was going to take every ounce of strength I had. Time. My worst enemy.
Chapter 4
Victoria
“How are things going?” A sigh escaped, even as I tried to hide it. Slowly, I paced my bedroom, looking for a way to end the conversation before it even really began. Daniel had called twice already this week and both times, I’d ignored it. When my phone rang tonight, I knew I needed to try to get the point across to him once and for all. It didn’t help that Lorraine was constantly quizzing me too.
“Everything is great. Devlin and I are getting along for the most part and he’s helping out great with Ava.”
“So, he’s staying?”
The loss for what to say had me coming to a standstill. The truth was, I could have tried my hardest to make him leave. Yet, I hadn’t. Weeks had gone by since I had been off bedrest and I hadn’t once pushed the issue for him to go back to his penthouse. I was conflicted, torn between the man I wanted to still be angry at and the one I was in love with.
“Devlin and I are taking things one day at a time. So far, things are great.”
“I see.” Tapping sounded in the background and I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out the noise. “I really think you should consider sending him back to his place. I mean, he could help out just as much from his home as he could there. I’m not sure I understand why you’d want to keep him so close, Victoria.” Daniel paused and I felt myself stiffen while my defensives flew up. “Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great the two of you are getting along, but having him live there isn’t good for you. Lawyer aside, as your friend, I feel obligated to state my concern. Devlin has a temper and I don’t like it.”
I spun, heading back toward the restroom. “Thank you for worrying, but I assure you, I know what’s best for me and my daughter. If I felt Devlin was a danger to either of us, he wouldn’t be here. Thank you for calling to check in on how we’re doing. We’re great. I think it would be best—”
A knock had me turning. At the door opening, I came to a standstill. Devlin threw me a grin, but his eyes zeroed in on the phone. “Dinner’s ready.”
“Thank you. I’ll be right there.”
The door shut and I took a deep breath. Before I could speak, Daniel’s voice came through.
“Dinner’s ready.” Something, what almost seemed to be a laugh or snicker, had my teeth clenching. I didn’t like the fact that he had said it with mockery in his tone. “I won’t keep you. Just please think over what I said. Do it for Ava.”
I started to speak, but he kept going, right over my voice. “If you do ever need anyone, even if you just want to talk, I’m here. Have a great night, Victoria.” The line disconnected and I groaned, tossing it on my bed. Hopefully that was over and he wouldn’t be calling back for awhile. If ever. I really didn’t feel like having him in my business, or my life, anymore. I knew he was trying to be a friend in his own way, but the negativity just didn’t sit right with me.
Ava’s voice greeted me the moment I slipped through the door. Devlin was buckling her in her highchair and the plates were already on the table.
“This looks nice. Thank you. I was planning on making dinner, but you beat me to it. Again.”
He peered over, smiling. “I’m trying to impress you with my cooking skills. Are they working?”
It took everything I had to hold in the smile that wanted to come. “You’re a very good cook. I’m actually really surprised.”
“Thank you. You haven’t complained once so I’m taking that as a good sign.” He straightened, locking the tray onto Ava’s seat and turning to face me. The expression he wore disappeared. “Don’t do it, kitten.” His deep tone shot right through me, locking me in place. One of his eyebrows lifted, waiting, and I let go of the back of the chair, debating whether I should put up a fight like I usually did. Even a small one. But I knew where that
would lead and I wasn’t ready to start battling with the sexual tension that sparked between us whenever things began to get heated.
“I seat you. We go over this every night.”
“And I’ve already told you, I can seat myself.” I shifted my feet, wondering how much further I should take it. “Are you going to tell me ‘good girl’ if I obey?” I’d meant to add sarcasm to the question, but at the heat pouring from his stare as he approached, the words came out as nothing more than a breathy enquiry. Devlin came to tower before me and all I could do was try my best to not be affected. I was failing, miserably. The wide expanse of his chest was at eye level and the V-neck he was wearing displayed the top of his tattoo. Arousal took over every inch of me and my nipples tingled as they tightened against my lace bra.
“If you want me to say good girl, I’m afraid you’re going to have to do more than obey one command from sitting. By the time I got done with you, you’d be lucky to be able to sit at all. And not just from the spankings you deserve.”
The chair slid back and I quickly took my seat. The laugh that followed had my head lowering. Damn him. I wanted to say something witty to knock him down a peg or two, but nothing came as he sat in his own chair.
Silence dragged out as we began eating and I tried my best to ignore all the confliction consuming me. My gaze lifted, only to go back to my food. I couldn’t stop watching him. Devlin had been trying so hard these last few months to get me to come back to him and it was killing me. My heart ached. My body craved nothing but him. His eyes. His lips. I found myself lost in his stare, wishing for nothing more than to rush back into his arms and have him tell me he’d never hurt me again. The reality was, even though he’d pretty much already promised that, I was having a hard time believing it was the truth. Weeks had gone by and although the pain of his betrayal had eased, I was still weary. Each day, it was becoming harder to deny what I wanted. Him.
At three and a half months along, time was flying and before we knew it, our new baby would be here. Were we supposed to go through the rest of our lives at each other’s sides and pretend we didn’t care more than what we really did?
Well, I knew Devlin had no problems when it came to confessing where he stood, but could I continue this? If his declarations meant anything, he’d be here no matter what I did. He wasn’t going anywhere. Was it the truth? Would he live a single life, devoted to his children and the one woman he loved, who wouldn’t love him back like he needed? Deep down, I knew he would. He had said it and I didn’t have any doubts that he meant it. What about me?
“Devlin, can you pass the salt?”
I looked up from the plate I’d been staring at for I didn’t know how long. My thoughts were taking me over lately. There were too many inconsistent needs. All of which left me more lost than ever.
“Here you go.”
My hand reached toward his…his long fingers, the wideness of his palm…my pause had me blinking hard just before I took the glass shaker. The stroke of his touch down my index finger had my eyes rising to his.
“Something’s different with you lately.”
The concern was thick in his tone. Thick, like his... My hand jerked back from his, colliding with my glass. Ice water flew across the tablecloth, pouring right into my lap. The temperature had me sucking in air and jumping to my feet.
“Oh…sh—” My eyes hot up to Ava, who was looking at me, smiling. I clamped my jaw closed. Lately, she was repeating everything. The last thing I needed was her picking up my curse words. “I’m fine, really. I’m just going to go change.”
Devlin pulled a paper towel free, standing just as fast as I had. If I could have stepped back, I would have. He came forward and leaned down.
“I—”
“Will be quiet while I clean you,” he said, cutting me off. “I don’t like this distance you’re trying to put between us, Victoria. You can’t avoid me forever. I’ve been trying like hell to spend time with you, but even when I do, you’re not really there. I can stop those thoughts, you know.”
My lips parted and clamped shut once more. The small laugh he made had me rolling my eyes. If he only knew how alive he’d just made me. How I longed for nothing more.
Pressure from his hand eased into my lower back while he gently patted the white dress I was wearing, making it stick to the slight rounding beginning to take over my stomach. As his hand lifted, his eyes shot up to mine. They didn’t stay. He went back to staring at the small bump, kneeling to come face to face with it.
“Oh, kitten,” he breathed out. “How long has it been like this?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but was delayed as the paper towel fell to the ground and he fitted his large palm over the span of my lower stomach.
“Not long. I only noticed the difference a few days ago.” The need to step to the side, to run, had my eyes scanning the room for a place to escape to. I couldn’t bear having him so close. Every part of me ached to have more contact. Begged for it.
“Can I see?” The weight against my back slid to my hip and down to the lining of the dress that rested mid-thigh. My breathing hitched as he caressed the sensitive skin at the innermost part. Panic had me scrambling to the middle of the living area. Pain shot across Devlin’s face and I knew he had every right to see the changes my body was going through. He’d love it, I knew he would. But…the touching.
I edged to the bedroom. “Let me change. I’ll let you see after we eat.”
He stood, nodding. Blindly, he reached for the paper towels, but still didn’t take his eyes off me. There was so much desire on his face. I knew he wanted to follow. To see what lay underneath my clothes. He wanted me.
I quickly shut the bedroom door, pulling the damp dress over my head. Breathe, Victoria. He just wants to his see baby. Nothing more. You’ll let him get his fix and then everything will go back to normal. Normal. Right. Normal sucked. I wanted him so much it was driving me crazy. And I was lying to myself. Yes, he wanted to see the changes, but I couldn’t ignore the teasing he so subtly tried to mix in. And it wasn’t just tonight. It’d been at least every other day for the last few weeks. A small touch, here. A brush of his lips, there. I was at the end of my restraint and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold off.
The light pink sundress I had almost worn was still draped over the end of my bed and I grabbed it, sliding it over my head. With the new pair of panties I put on, it was just as tight as the others. How was I getting so big, so fast? With Ava, I hadn’t started showing until I was closer to five months along. With this baby, it was already making its presence known.
Dark curls fell over my breast as I peered down at the cloth that hugged to the curve of my stomach. It wasn’t much, but it was definitely there. A few more weeks and it’d be a lot bigger. Slowly, I rubbed over the bump, smiling.
“What do I do?” The whisper was so silent, I barely heard the words I spoke. “I know you don’t know, but I have a feeling I know what you’d want. I want it, too.”
An exhale followed as I headed back to the door. The moment I entered the living area, Devlin looked up from his plate. His attention went right to my stomach, but didn’t stay there for long. He stood, walking around to stand behind my chair. If only I could read his mind, know without a doubt that what he said was the truth and would last.
“Thank you.” I sat down, stiffening as his finger brushed down my neck. He went back to take his seat and silence lasted for all of a few seconds before his hand reached out and grabbed onto mine.
“I’m already missing your changes and I don’t like it. Victoria.” He lifted, moving the chair to my side of the table so he could sit directly next to me. “There has to be some sort of compromise.”
I pulled back, but didn’t budge his hold. “The compromise is you living here. We’ve talked about this so many times, Devlin.”
“Not good enough. I’m done talking. I want back in our room. I want to see everything. I’m done sleeping on the couch or having to stay a
way when you take a shower or get dressed. Those are the times I need to experience the most. If I can’t touch you, at least I can watch the changes for myself.”
A laugh pushed through my mouth, more from shock and fear than how ridiculous his demands were. He was lucky I was even letting him stay.
“You are not sleeping in my bed. Or seeing me shower,” I rushed in.
“Not in the shower, just…before and after. Panties and bra. That’s it.”
I managed to remove my hand from his. Turning my attention to my plate was almost impossible with his power radiating toward me. Shit, I wanted this. Wanted him back in my bed. Back in my life! Why was I fighting so hard to keep him away? True, he hurt me, but I wasn’t ignorant to why he’d done it. It was very possible he might never look at another woman aside from me again. If that was the case, shouldn’t I be focusing all my energy on fighting for something true? Fighting for him, instead of against him? It all came down to trust.
“Devlin, I don’t know.”
“You said you’d show me after we finished eating. That’s all I want, just more permanently. If I’m back in your room, you can carry on like I’m not even there.”
Yeah right. “And the sleeping?” I asked, glancing back up at him. “How do you seriously think that’s going to work out without you crossing the line?”
He frowned and looked down. Reaching out, he placed his hand on my stomach. I held my breath at the initial touch but relaxed as he kept it there.
“I just want to hold you. Hold both of my babies. I promise not to do more…unless you give me reason to believe I should.”
“That’s not going to happen,” I said under my breath. Both of his babies… Me. Our child. I love him. Why doesn’t he tell me to shut up and kiss these troubles away? Just…Dom me!
The descent of his hand had my eyes growing heavy. “Then you have nothing to worry about, do you?”
His voice dropped lower and I trembled, uncontrollably.
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