by Rita Hogan
Eventually, she pulled away to look into Olivia’s eyes. “I knew you weren’t going to the Antarctic. It didn’t stop me from being worried sick about you.”
Surprised, Olivia asked, “How did you know?”
“Your father told me a month before he died from his heart attack. He told me about the friendship he had begun with Landon and the mutual concern they both shared for you. He suspected that you had been planning something for a long time. Josh didn’t know when you would make your move, but he felt it was soon. If for some reason he wasn’t around, he wanted me to know everything. He told me to let you go. Do you know about the money?”
Olivia shook her head.
“Two years after Jacob’s death, your father received a copy of the house’s deed. Someone had paid the mortgage in full. At the time, Josh had assumed that people in the community anonymously gave to a fund. The same thing happened when he made the first payment of your college tuition. All four years had been paid in advance. Again he assumed it was the kindness of those who had loved you and Jacob that had made it all possible.”
“It was Landon!” Olivia exclaimed, thinking of Celia Cesar, and of Carlos, his faithful waiter –how kind and generous.
“Yes, but there’s more. When Landon reached out to your father two years ago, he mentioned to Josh his desire to put into trust some funds for you. He made my brother overseer of the trust. In the event that Josh died, the money would automatically be yours. When Landon made the offer, it was then that your father realized that he was the person behind the generous gifts. Landon confirmed his suspicions.”
Her aunt sighed. “Having listened to your story, I felt it was something you needed to know. I don’t know his thoughts, but it seems as if Landon was hoping you would find your way to him, under whatever circumstances.”
Had he unwittingly funded his near demise?
Olivia laughed out loud at the thought. When her aunt gave her a questioning look, she said, “I never would have succeeded in exacting my plan for revenge. Landon saw me coming from a mile away,” Olivia paused, “and he loved me anyway.” The thought brought a fresh new wave of longing and humility. He knew she had been plotting. The astute businessman in him would have been prepared for anything. He chose to love her anyway; the thought played like a skipped record in her mind.
“What will you do, Olivia?” asked Sarah, her eyes full of concern.
“I need time. I need to remember who I was. Will you help me, Aunt Sarah?”
“Of course I will.” Looking through the pile of mementos and albums on the table, Sarah found a leather-bound journal with pink polka dots. “Here, start with this. It was the journal your mother kept when she was pregnant with you.” Shifting around some more things, she found the blue suede one that belonged to Jacob. “This was your brother’s”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
She will love this space, Landon thought to himself. The room he was standing in was on the same side of the house as the main living area, the part that faced the southwest. The room was a good size, spacious enough for a large draft table where Olivia could lay out her photos and decide which ones she liked the best.
The closet was large enough for a dark room, one she could use on the occasions when she chose to use real film. He could envision a number of her framed prints hanging on the walls. Not only was this a perfect room, it was a perfect house.
Landon laid down on the newly carpeted floor, with his arms behind his head. He looked at the coffered ceiling before closing his eyes to dream of the life they would build together in their home nestled in a private valley of Patagonia.
In his mind, he saw her working in this space, so engrossed in her craft that she didn’t notice his presence until he gently touched her shoulder. Surprised and pleased, she would turn from her photos to look at him, her eyes full of love.
He had lived on such dreams for weeks.
She will come back to me, he said to himself. The phrase had become his mantra. As the days went by, his dreams seemed to grow slightly dimmer. He fought to hold onto the hope that had kept him going.
“God, help her to remember!” he cried out to the empty space.
Four weeks ago, she had left in the middle of the night, with only a note explaining her sudden departure. The words were burnished upon his soul and mind.
Dear Landon,
Please know that I love you. I can’t move forward until I know who I am. Somehow I must reconcile this treacherous side of me with the seventeen-year-old girl you fell in love with, as well as the sleeping woman who is lost in a dream. I must remember.
Never doubt my love,
Olivia
After seeing the note in her room, he had been devastated. Picking himself up by the proverbial boot straps, he chose to hold out for hope. Would she call him when she remembered and was ready to come back to him?
Determined to have faith, he phoned Tomas the morning after she left to tell him he was taking two weeks’ vacation. The next person he contacted was his real estate agent. He was determined to buy a house before the two weeks ended.
This house was the fifth one he had seen on his first day of hunting. He knew immediately that Olivia would love it. The view was a photographer’s dream. The southwest side of the house was nothing but floor to ceiling windows. The majestic scenery would be stunning at every season. Knowing this was the place where they would begin their life, Landon put in an offer for ten thousand more than the asking price to ensure acceptance. He had thrown in an extra five grand if the current owners would be willing to close by the end of the week.
Looking at the journal which lay on his chest, he sighed, remembering the hope he’d felt early on during the first few weeks after Olivia’s departure. When Landon returned to work after his two-week hiatus, he had found the gift -wrapped book tucked away in the second drawer of his desk.
Wanting to open the gift here in their home, he had waited with quiet expectancy until he reached the house that evening. Sitting on the carpet with his legs crossed, he had read the words written by the woman he cherished.
Dear Sweet Landon,
The moment I opened my eyes in the hospital and saw you standing there, I didn’t remember who you were, but I knew you were safe. It was as if my mind was blank, but my heart was full of you. Since that moment, it has been overflowing with your goodness . . .
He pictured Olivia sitting in the all-night café, her heart filled with love as she wrote the words contained in the bound pages. Tucked away inside the book were photos of them and their time together. There was one of them cheek-to-cheek at San Telmo, the evening they had danced the night away. She had snapped the picture with her phone. A picture of him sitting on the plateau with his knees drawn to his chest and his head resting on his arms while he watched her had a note scribed on the back: Looking back I can see the love in your eyes, even before I knew. How could I have missed it?
“She will come back to me,” he said aloud to the empty room that would one day become Olivia’s studio.
* * *
“Olivia, you have to stop seeing yourself as this horrible person!” her aunt exclaimed with a touch of exasperation. Two months of sifting through pictures, reading the journals and her father’s letters to Landon, hadn’t made a dent in the image her niece had created about herself. Olivia was stuck in a holding pattern, her heart broken and longing for Landon.
No matter how many stories Sarah told Olivia about the young woman’s kindness or how wonderful she was as a child and an adult, nothing seemed to matter. It was as if her mind and heart had been permanently blighted by a mere flicker of fallibility. It didn’t matter that immense grief had chosen to take advantage of the fault in her human nature. Nor did it matter that the man who loved her more than anything knew, understood, and accepted her misplaced anger.
Her niece was sitting at the kitchen table, looking lost and forlorn.
“You may never remember your past. Are you going to throw away your c
hance at a happy life because of one mistake?”
“It was more than a mistake, Aunt Sarah. I was fully prepared to ruin the life of a very good man. The result would have devastated Natasha’s as well. What kind of person has such a lapse in judgment?” Olivia turned her head away.
“An imperfect, grief-stricken human being, who loved her brother more than her own life. A young girl who was utterly lost without the one person who had the ability to always right her ship. Please look at me, Olivia.” Her niece turned to look at her. “Have you stopped to think about why you are agonizing over what you did? You’re upset because you are a good person who has a conscience. If you were the wretched woman you have made yourself out to be, would you care that you nearly ruined a man’s life? Horrible people feel no remorse for the harm they do or intend to do to others.”
Sarah could see that her words were having an impact on her niece.
“You’ve been away from Landon too long. You need to go to him.”
That night, like every other night, Olivia dreamt of the man she loved. But this dream was different. Normally her sleep took her back to Patagonia, her home. There was sunshine and mountains. Her dreams varied; some days she saw herself and Landon in fields of wild flowers holding each other in their arms, kissing. Other nights she dreamt that they were on the plateau sitting before the majestic mountain range outside of the Hotel Salto Chico. He was telling her for the first time how much he loved her. Her slumber had been her only joy, filled with bright and passionate visions. Tonight they were dark and cold.
Olivia was shifting through a graveyard, like an apparition, weaving in and out of the headstones, walking toward a man. “Landon,” she said realizing it was the one she loved. He was facing a tombstone, his back to her. At the sound of her voice, he turned. Olivia’s heart stopped beating at the coldness she saw in his eyes. She looked down at the grave marker, Jacob Nelson. When she returned her gaze to Landon’s frigid lifeless eyes, she reached for him, unable to touch him. No matter how hard she tried, every step closer to him seemed to move her farther away. “Landon!” she cried out in desperation.
“I couldn’t wait forever,” he said in a cold voice.
From out of the corner of her eye, Olivia saw something moving in the distance. Turning, she saw a woman walking out of a grove of trees. She was making her way toward Landon. Olivia was fighting to reach him, her efforts futile. If only I can touch him, he’ll remember how much I love him and the coldness will go away.
When the woman was at Landon’s side, he held out his hand to the stranger. “Olivia,” he said, “Meet my wife, Brooke.”
Olivia sat up in bed crying out, “No!” Her breath was coming in short harsh gasps. It was only a dream! she thought wildly. Throwing off the covers, she went to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face. When she was done drying off the drops of water, she looked at herself in the mirror and said, “You’re a fool, Olivia Nelson.”
* * *
Landon was engrossed in a report when he heard the knock on his office door. “Come in,” he said.
It was his assistant. “Landon, a package arrived for you. It’s in a crate down by the loading dock. Do you want me to have someone bring it here?”
Needing to stretch his legs, he shook his head. “No, thank you, Camilla. I’ll go see to it.”
A few minutes later his pulse nearly stopped when he saw that the sender was from Portland. There was no name. Olivia, he thought. Quickly, he pried the walls of the crate apart with a crowbar. Wrapped in white cloth was a large rectangular frame. Removing the cover, his hands shook when he saw a photo on canvas of Beaverhead Rock, framed in beautiful cherry wood, the bolt of lightning reaching out from the sky. “No,” he said quietly, all of his faith gone. Olivia wasn’t coming back.
* * *
Olivia stood on the hard concrete of the causeway, looking out to where her brother’s body once lay, broken and battered. It had been a terrible tragedy, one that had scarred her deeply, forever altering the course of her life. The tremendous loss helped to justify her anger and lust for vengeance. Somehow her pain had made it easy to put into motion her plans for retribution.
The words from her father to Landon, written in the last letter he had sent, leapt across her mind, Olivia is lost, Landon. Please help her find her way again.
Josh Nelson had been right: she had been lost; and Landon, her sweet Landon, had found her. Acceptance filled her as she uttered a prayer. “Please, God, don’t let it be too late.”
“There was a rainbow that day.” Olivia’s heart nearly stopped when she heard the words spoken from behind her. “Do you remember, sweetheart?”
No longer able to hold herself up, Olivia crumpled to the hard surface of the causeway, sobs wracking her small frame. The touch of Landon’s hands on her shoulders caused her to cry out. Unable to look at him, she bowed her head, allowing her grief, sorrow, and joy to have full reign.
Waiting for the storm of emotions to pass, Landon knelt beside the woman he loved. When her anguish began to subside, he encouraged her to look at him with a gentle nudge to her chin.
“Please forgive me, Landon,” she begged with pleading eyes. “Please forgive me for what I wanted to do to you. I’m sorry for leaving. I was such a fool to run away from you—you, who have been my refuge.”
When Olivia held his gaze there was no sign of coldness, only warmth and longing. He lifted her so they were both standing. “I’ll forgive you if you’ll forgive me for the loss of Jacob’s life and all the pain and suffering I caused you.”
Cupping his handsome face with her hands, Olivia said, “I stood on the dark side of the rainbow that day, but I don’t remember the pain.”
There was a look of bewilderment on his face. “Your aunt told me where I could find you, but she didn’t tell me you hadn’t remembered. I assumed.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, Landon. I’ve come to realize that my past—what I now know about it from the things my aunt has shared, the letters, and the journals—is my past. You are my future. I should have realized it when you told me who I was, but I was too devastated to hear what I knew in my heart to be true.
“With my aunt’s help, I realized that I haven’t been asleep all this time. I’ve been wide awake, and who I was in Patagonia is who I am.” Olivia savored the feel of his skin beneath her hand. “Absolution, for both of us.”
A long steady sigh escaped Landon’s supple lips. “Forgiveness is a gift. As much as I have longed for it, do you know what I have realized?”
“What?”
“It’s your love that I was desperate for the most. Thank you for giving it to me freely.” The shimmer of light at her neck drew his attention to the compass that lay against her soft skin. Lovingly, he lifted the precious piece of jewelry. “You once told me while on board The Absolution that if you got lost it wouldn’t take you long to find your way. When we were at the auction and I saw this compass, I remembered your words. I knew I had to buy it for you. I’m very glad you found your way.”
Tenderly, Landon kissed Olivia.
She pulled away to look at him once more. “Early this morning, I bought a ticket to Patagonia. I was on my way to the airport but wanted to stop here first. Are you ready to give me that new life you promised me, Landon Robert Gray?”
He smiled joyfully at her pretty upturned face, delighted to see, once again, the glorious mass of red curls. He had taken his private jet to Portland. “Save the ticket for a guest to use when they attend the wedding.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Three weeks later, Landon and Olivia were to be married on board The Absolution, anchored a mile off the shore of Villa La Angostura. The guest list consisted of an intimate group of close associates, friends, and family, including Shannon Able, whom Olivia had re-connected with after her return to Portland. The photographer had learned firsthand from her friend the beginnings of their relationship. Shannon had been at the causeway the day of the accident. At Olivia’s u
rging, Shannon gave her friend a detailed account from the time they had left Tad’s, completing the picture of that tragic moment.
The day Landon and Olivia had left Portland, she had called Shannon while on the way to the airport, asking her to be her bridesmaid. Landon had smiled at the shriek of approval he heard on the other end of the phone. Tomas had agreed to be a groomsman. The bridal party was complete with Natasha as Olivia’s maid of honor, Gaston the best man, and Isabella and Nicholas as the flower girl and ring bearer.
Olivia’s Aunt Sarah, her Uncle Jimmy who would give her away, and her two cousins Paul and Michael and their families were to sit next to Landon’s parents, whom she had meet for the first time a week ago.
William and Shannon Gray couldn’t be happier for their son.
After the rehearsal dinner, and desperate to be alone, Landon had found them a quiet spot on board the ship for a “make-out” session. In between nibbling on his fiancé’s earlobes and neck, she asked him if he knew what his parents thought about her.
He lifted his head to look at her, his eyes glossy with passion. “The last thing I want to talk about right now is my parents, but if I don’t focus on something else, I’m liable to do something I’ll regret.”
“What if I want you . . .”
Placing a finger to her lips to stop her mid-sentence, Landon said, “You have a habit of doing that. I can’t help but wonder if you do it on purpose.” He didn’t care if it was true, she was absolutely adorable. Taking her lips, he kissed her soundly before forcing himself to pull away. “I may be a man of great self-control, but in the last two weeks my perseverance has been pushed to the brink more times than I care to count.”
“And whose idea was it to have a make-out session?” she asked with a smile.
“One more kiss, then we talk about my parents,” he ground out, before taking her mouth again.
Breathless and aching, a few moments later he told her that his parents thought she was wonderful. To her chagrin, Landon had told them everything. Shannon Gray had found it to be utterly romantic that the two of them had been brought together after all these years. She had no idea of her son’s heartbreak over Olivia. With tears in her eyes, his mother had asked him to forgive her for not knowing.
