Destinee had had enough. She took two steps forward and grabbed Jimmy by his perfectly styled hair, holding his head still so she could lean in and use the mic on his headset “This is some bullshit. Psychos like y’all were the ones who nailed Jesus to the cross, and I’ll be damned if I let my baby girl go the same way.”
Jimmy pulled his head free of her grip, but she wasn’t done. Jess knew all too well how Destinee’s voice could travel when she was angry.
“And what the hell is this shit?” she shrieked, pointing to the long, metal tubs propped up on the floor next to the stage. Jess hadn’t even noticed them until her mother pointed them out. “Are those troughs? What the hell kind of a messenger from God builds troughs in his church?”
Jimmy remained calm, though. “A pig deserves a trough. It is not our fault that you don’t understand the rites of communion with Deus Aper.”
She looked like she was about to say something else to the congregation, then paused and turned to Jimmy, squinting at him. And when she spoke, it was the way one friend might speak to another. “That is some fucked up shit, Jimmy.”
AMEN.
Jimmy clutched at his heart. “Listen to the way she blasphemes at the altar! But we shalt not condemn her for being disgusting, because we are all disgusting, each and every one of us, even if she is slightly more disgusting.”
“Come on, Jess.” Destinee grabbed her daughter’s hand and led her down the stairs so quickly that Jess almost missed one, but caught herself before she fell, which would have been the only way to make this whole morning even more embarrassing.
“Look at how they flee when confronted with their sins!” Jimmy called after them.
Jess couldn’t get out of there quick enough. She would have run, but that was a sign of fear that even the dumbest predator in the animal kingdom would have recognized.
This is the longest aisle in the world!
“Let us pray for them. Please bow your heads. Lord, Heavenly father, you created us in your image, and we have all failed you, devolved into swine so that the only way we can recognize Your presence is when You descend to our level. Thank you, God, for taking the body of a Hog to remind us of Your mercy and willingness to meet us where we are so that we may strive to rise up to the greatness we hold inside us, locked away behind layer and layer of sinful lard …”
“Motherfucker,” Destinee spat, picking up the pace so that Jess was left with the choice of jogging or being dragged. She chose jogging.
“… And when we eat this blessed bacon, a food that You’ve definitely changed Your mind about since Leviticus, let us be reminded of Your glory.”
Only a few more feet to the doors, then it would be a quick trip through the foyer, under the arch, through the parking lot, and into the relative safety of their Nissan. Jess focused her mind on that to escape the present, which was becoming more unfathomable by the second. The last thing she heard before they made it into the foyer left her wishing she’d never met Jimmy Dean at all—not even Ice Cream Jimmy.
His voice felt like it was chasing them out the door. “In Your holy name we pray. Sooie!”
And the congregation replied, “Sooie!”
* * *
Destinee and Jessica agreed to cross church off their list of possible mother–daughter activities. But that didn’t make the humiliation of it stop rattling around in Jess’s head, even long after they arrived back in Mooretown. Destinee didn’t seem any less upset about it than Jess was. In fact, she seemed even angrier about Jess being called the manifestation of original sin than Jess was about being called the manifestation of original sin.
The car ride home from Midland had been silent except for the radio crooning soft country hits, and Jess was grateful for the time to think without either of her parents speaking. When a commercial for White Light Church came on the radio, Destinee punched the dial until the car was completely silent, which Jess didn’t mind so much either.
But once they arrived home, Destinee set her purse down on the coffee table and headed straight into her bedroom, closing the door before leaving Jimmy a loud, lengthy voicemail that Jess could tell was only the tip of the rageberg.
For dinner that night, Destinee prepared handmade mashed potatoes, mashed carrots, which seemed to Jess like a strange way to prepare carrots, and the most tenderized flank stake Jess had ever tried. The prep time was about forty-five minutes of screaming and pounding, gnashing and mashing, during which Jess stayed hidden away in her room, trying to take her mind off of life with a TV show about deep-sea predators.
When she was finally called to the table, Jess wasn’t sure what to say to her mother and was fairly certain nothing she could say would quell the anger that bubbled just under the surface, breaking through here and there with a heavy sigh or a grunt, so Jess ate her dinner quietly. She wished that the humiliation they’d shared could have united them instead of making things feel so stiff, but that wasn’t how it turned out. She wondered why. After dinner she finished up her personal essay for language arts (Prompt: Talk about a time when you learned a lesson the hard way) before falling asleep to the soothing and paternal voice of David Attenborough as he narrated life in the treeless great plains on the old Planet Earth DVDs Destinee had kept from her childhood.
The next morning, Jess awoke feeling like she’d nabbed all of twenty minutes of actual sleep. Her mind wasn’t anywhere near ready to let go of the electric anxiety that pinballed in her skull. School could have been a much-needed distraction, except she knew better than to hope for that. Trent and Courtney would be there, and the thought of their snide gloating and prodding made her nervous and nauseated.
At least I’ll get to see Miranda first and tell her what happened.
There were times when Jess had lamented only having one close friend, but right now she knew it was better than nothing. In fact, it was everything.
She’d had gotten in a habit of walking to school each morning and, as she dressed, she mentally prepared for the journey that would involve putting one foot in front of the other, which seemed like a tall order, considering. But at breakfast, Destinee poured herself a glass of orange juice, then one for Jess, and sat at the table facing her daughter.
“You look the way I feel. Let me drive you this morning.”
“Okay.”
They sipped their juice in silence, then Destinee stood. “I guess I should put on pants.”
As they pulled into the drop-off loop of Mooreson Elementary, Destinee broke the tired silence. “This is a small town, Jess. I reckon there’s a good chance some of those asshats in Midland yesterday were from here.”
“They were. I recognized some.”
Destinee shut her eyes and took a deep breath. “Damn. Who was it?”
“The Wursts.”
“Ruth was there?!”
Jess had no idea who Ruth was and shook her head vaguely against her mother’s sudden outburst. “I just know Courtney and Trent.”
“Father the police chief?”
Jess nodded.
A small growl escaped from the depth of Destinee’s chest. “Yeah, that’ll be Ruth then. I must’ve been too wrapped up in Jimmy’s bullshit to notice her. Damn. Ruth Wurst. Damn.
“Well, I suspect word will have gotten out.” She put the car into park and grabbed Jess’s head to turn it toward her so she could look into her daughter’s eyes. “You don’t take shit from anyone, you hear me? You’re God’s daughter. His son might’ve lacked a backbone in the end, but I didn’t raise you that way. Don’t take shit from anyone. Do what you gotta do. You may get in trouble with the school, but you won’t be in trouble at home, you hear?”
Jess nodded.
“Good.” Destinee leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. “Love you, baby.”
“Love you, too.”
She hopped out of the car, feeling a little better than when she’d left the house, ready to find Miranda immediately and fill her in, maybe even talk a little trash to get herself work
ed up.
But as it would happen (and from her recent interactions with God, she guessed this to be more of a chance thing than a divine plan thing), she didn’t get three steps into the front door of the school before she ran into the last two people she wanted to see. They were gathered up in a small group of kids, talking quietly, and when they spotted Jessica, they stopped, looked at her with their noses up, then turned back to the group and started laughing. She wanted to be able to tell off the Wursts, but she didn’t know how to when they hadn’t actually said anything to her. Her resolve melted away before it even existed, and she hurried off to try to find Miranda.
When she walked into her classroom, though, Miranda wasn’t there yet. Thankfully Mrs. Thomas was, though.
Dad bless Mrs. Thomas.
As luck would have it, the woman had been shuffled around from one grade level to the next each year, so that Jessica had ended up having her for kindergarten, first, third, and now sixth. While the grade levels had been selected for Mrs. Thomas by the administration, the teacher had flat out told Jessica that she’d been able to pick most of the students she had in her class. Jessica, she said, had been her top pick. Miranda had also made the list, and Jess often wondered if Trent and Courtney were selected by Mrs. Thomas or if she was forced to take them on because of the “politics” she often mentioned.
Jess cleared her throat as she entered the classroom to make her presence known.
Mrs. Thomas looked up from where she sat at her desk, and her sweet singsongy voice greeted Jess like a warm hug. “Good morning, Miss McCloud! How was your weekend?”
“Not great.” Jess set her stuff down at one of the front desks. There were already a couple students in the room, but they hung out in the back, as far away from the teacher as they could. They didn’t even realize how lucky they were to be in Mrs. Thomas’s class. Ingrates.
“You want to talk about it?” The warm, sweet tone of her voice almost made Jess agree. Almost.
“Not really.”
“Okay, well if you change your mind, you know you can always talk to me about it, okay?”
Jess smiled. She couldn’t help it. “Yeah, okay, thanks.”
Trent, at least, had learned a healthy fear of Mrs. Thomas, meaning he knew better than to try to antagonize Jess when she was sitting only feet from the teacher’s desk. Courtney, being a more subtle, skilled tormentor, managed to cough a few insults throughout the morning without Mrs. Thomas noticing, and there were a few instances of snorting that earned the side eye from Mrs. Thomas, but as that was the worst Jess had to endure for the first half of the day, she wasn’t complaining. In fact, her mood had even brightened by lunchtime. Maybe she could make it through the day after all.
Since Miranda had showed up to school ten minutes after the start of class, not only did she miss all the juicy gossip floating around the hall, but Jess hadn’t been able to vent to her until lunchtime. But once Miranda had gotten her tray from the lunch line and sat across from Jess at the end of the small table off to the side in the cafeteria, Jessica let loose with a torrent of information. Sometimes it bothered her that there weren’t others who wanted to regularly sit by her and Miranda, but she appreciated the privacy now that she had something important to talk about that she didn’t want others to overhear.
“Ohhh,” Miranda said, once Jess had filled her in completely and then some. “Now it makes a lot more sense why Courtney wouldn’t stop coughing.”
“Yep.”
“I guess that also explains why she was snorting.”
“That’s the worst part!” Jess exclaimed before catching herself and lowering the volume to an enthusiastic whisper. “Why were they snorting at me? They’re the ones who take communion from a trough! I should’ve been snorting at them!”
Miranda struggled with her milk carton, but eventually opened it and asked, “Then why didn’t you?” before taking a sip.
Jess sighed. “I don’t know.”
“I mean, think about it, though. If you have to act like a pig to make fun of someone, you might not be great at making fun of people.”
Miranda had a way of putting things that helped keep Jess on an even keel, and this was no exception. Her ability to see through all the garbage seemed like a superpower to Jess, whose life sometimes felt like nothing but the garbage. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She chuckled. “Did you see Courtney’s face when she did it? She went a little cross-eyed.”
They both broke into giggles, drawing the attention of the girls at the table next to them, who Jess could have sworn were too busy taking selfies of themselves to notice anything else.
Sandra was among the gaggle. “What is it?” she asked abrasively, looking demandingly from Jess to Miranda but sounding self-conscious. Her phone was still extended at arm’s length, directed at herself even as she spoke to them.
“Nothing.” Miranda waved her off. “You look great. That’s a good angle for you. Makes you look like you have boobs.”
Sandra smiled. “Thanks!” She puckered up at Miranda and held that pose for a few seconds longer than seemed comfortable. She looked at her phone. “Perfect. Chris is going to love that.” She turned the screen toward Stephanie Lee—the only Asian in all of Mooreson Elementary—who never went anywhere without her phone, her sparkly belt, or Sandra.
“Oh my god!” Stephanie exclaimed. “You look so hot! Chris is going to die when he sees that. Oh my god, you’re so lucky you’re pretty. I wish I had your hair.” Stephanie tousled hers to give it volume, puckered up, and took a few more selfies.
Jess turned back to her best friend who was doing an admirable job of pretending not to have heard anything about Sandra’s new boyfriend as she shoveled a lump of mashed potatoes into her mouth.
“Hey,” Jess said, leaning forward and speaking so she wouldn’t be overheard. “You’re way prettier than Sandra.”
Miranda rolled her eyes, but even with a mouth full of instapotato she couldn’t hide the smile that forced its way to the surface. Only a few starchy particles shot out of her mouth as she begrudgingly replied, “Thanks.”
* * *
Math class had been a source of stress for Jessica all year. Not because she found it difficult, though. Math was her strongest subject by a mile, and that was precisely why it had become a source of anxiety. The fact that it happened right after lunch only added a layer of indigestion to the whole ordeal, which mostly consisted of a constant struggle between getting good grades and not letting anyone else in the class know she was getting good grades. Something had changed during the summer between fifth and sixth grade, and being at the top of the class went from being a way to earn respect to the fastest way to draw a target on your back. When Jess had mentioned her observation to her mother, Destinee had nodded sympathetically before explaining that it would only get worse once Jess graduated into Marymoore Junior high the following year, meaning now was the time to practice dealing with it.
So even though Trent and Courtney had been manageable in their teasing leading up to lunch, Jess knew better than to assume that she was in the clear. There was nothing that Trent and Courtney enjoyed more than bragging about their grades, and for some reason no one ever tried to tease them for it.
Basically, Jess was walking on thin ice.
Then, to make matters worse, Mrs. Thomas started class with, “I’ve graded all your tests from last Friday, so I’ll hand those back to you now.”
Jess’s heart sank into her gut. She’d forgotten about the test they took the Friday before. She’d studied for it, like she always did for tests, but not that much. It was just geometry, and God had made it pretty simple. Everything came down to 360 degrees. She wasn’t sure why so many people seemed to struggle with it.
I TRIED TO THROW EVERYONE A SLOW PITCH ON THIS ONE BECAUSE I FELT BAD ABOUT QUANTUM PHYSICS, he’d told her.
Mrs. Thomas settled down the class and began handing back the graded geometry tests.
Did she want a good grade or not? Sh
e couldn’t decide.
Mrs. Thomas leaned over and smiled at Jess as she sat the test face down on her desk. “Great work.” She winked.
Jess flipped over the paper. A 105 was written in red pen and circled. She’d aced it and nailed the extra credit.
“What’d you get?” Miranda asked, leaning over.
Jess glanced casually over her shoulder at Courtney and Trent to make sure they weren’t paying attention before she whispered, “A hundred and five.” She’d never felt less relieved about getting so high a grade.
“Nice!” Miranda smiled. “Maybe you can help me with my corrections. I only got a seventy-eight.”
“Oh my god,” Courtney said from behind them. “You only got a seventy-eight? This was, like, the easiest test ever.”
Miranda turned in her seat to wrinkle her nose at Courtney. “Oh yeah? What’d you get?”
“Please. Both Trent and I got a hundred and one.”
So many emotions flooded Jess’s brain at once. Satisfaction that she’d beat them both, disgust at their smugness, anger for trying to put down Miranda. She could feel it intensify in a whirlwind inside her like a chemical reaction releasing fumes that built up inside her chest. Jessica couldn’t take it. She knew that if she didn’t release some of the pressure, this could end in a smiting. She turned in her chair. “Oh wow! That’s amazing! Yet another test where you both get the exact same score. Huh. Interesting.”
Trent looked at her like he’d just smelled something foul. “What are you getting at? We’re twins. That happens.”
“True,” Jessica conceded disingenuously. “Especially if you cheat on every single test.”
“You’re just bitter because we always get the best grades in the class,” Courtney said, but her face was turning red.
“Not this time!” Miranda said victoriously. Jess inhaled sharply as a reflex. “Jess beat you.”
Miranda had gone and done it again without meaning to. She’d betrayed Jess to her tormentors. It was impossible to be mad at her, though, because Miranda never meant to set her up like this.
The Beginning (Jessica Christ Book 1) Page 11
