"Haven't seen such a girl. And if'n I did, what'd be in it for me?"
Jae's gaze slid over to Colby's—he'd seen her. They didn't need to know more for now; she was still hanging around, somewhere. The only question was if she'd been spying on them or not.
"You know what, it doesn't matter," Jae decided. He motioned for Duppy to move on, wishing that in a more literal sense, too. The ghost was nothing but trouble. And he wasn't leaving. "What?" growled out Jae.
The ghost was—what was it—stalling? He guessed. Question was, why? What purpose did it serve? He motioned for Colby and Elisha to head back to the wagons. Jae got a keen sense they should pick up the pace and get back there in case he was trying to keep them away for some reason. Or was he becoming paranoid? This lack of trusting anyone else was exhausting.
Jae gasped, a terrible realization hitting him.
Colby eyed him for explanation but Jae returned with a curt nod of, not here. Let's go.
Duppy shouted out something they didn't hear and ignored, before popping out and vanishing. They scurried back to the wagons, Jae storming inside with some secret mission.
Colby came in behind him, Elisha at his heels.
Jae deflated.
"I am getting paranoid."
Colby sighed, putting it together. "You thought Katana might be here, stealing our stuff."
Jae cocked his head in an, wouldn't have put it beyond her.
"We were pretty stupid, leaving it hanging around." It wasn't just stuff. It was the Book of Doorways. The Magicante. And the Bone Dagger—which currently held the power of the dead Projector he'd killed inside of it. None of these items were merely stuff.
Colby shook his head in shame. He was really losing it. Letting his guard down in bad ways. Doing stupid things he'd never have done before. Making mistakes his father would never forgive.
"Maybe we are judging Katana too harshly. I give up." Jae plunked down on the edge of the bed. Maybe she was just bored, and out wandering.
Colby followed his movements, perching himself on the edge of the bed. "Whatever it turns out to be, we can't let our guard down like that. It's not smart."
"Yeah. You're right about that." Jae eyed the dagger and books, a crooked simper forming. He knew exactly what to do. It was almost stupid really. They might be in Grimble, and dealing with some heavy stuff, but they were still powerful. They could still use magic. They were not idiots.
Colby watched intently as Jae silently did the secret magical deed. Purposely so, just in case anyone was listening in. Colby got the point quick. Not much got past that guy, and he was impressed by Jae's magic.
When finished, Jae slung his hands on his hips, satisfied.
Colby gave him a weak smirk that he knew was meant to say, well done. It would be their little secret. And give them some peace of mind if anyone, Katana, or otherwise, got any sneaky ideas in their heads.
"Did you, um, get the sense that Duppy was trying to stall us?" Jae posed quietly.
"Yeah. For sure he was. Question is, why?"
"Will you be okay here for a little while, alone?" Jae suddenly asked him. He didn't want to leave. Not really. "I won't be long." He spoke it like he was keenly aware that Colby needed to hear it, even though it made no sense to know that.
"Yeah. I'm tired. You know, going to try to sleep. Why, what's up?"
Jae slid across the bed to talk low. "Going to go find Eddy. Have him spy on our ghostly friend—just in case."
Made sense. Hard to argue with that logic. But Jae saw the real answer in Colby's eyes—he'd never admit it in a hundred years, but he didn't want to be alone. Elisha—and for the first time, Jae thought, the wonderful Elisha—piped up.
Her tummy growled in hunger at the smell of dinner sauntering somewhere nearby. "I'm heading out to hunt. Why not allow me this task?"
"Sorry, Elisha, I hadn't even thought of that," Jae responded honestly.
"Well, you're not used to having me around all the time. And as I see it, it's also a favor for my Master, if he wishes me to?" she waited, although already hearing his answer.
"That would be really great if you would," Colby told her. He shot her a grateful pulse into her thoughts. She meowed out a farewell, and silently through their mind connection, she added, "Rest now. I'll find Eddy and be back soon and keep watch. And—" she stalled, unsure what she meant to say next. Turns out, she didn't need to explain.
"I know. I trust him too. Doesn’t make any sense, does it?"
"Jae—he—" she still didn’t know how to say it.
"Go. Hunt. I'll be fine, Elisha. Don't worry about me. Okay?" He avoided the topic, even with his Catawitch, not ready to talk about it openly. But she wouldn't push. And worry about her Master is all she would do every single minute she was gone. And for good reason—she had an open line to the thoughts he kept hidden from everyone else.
Jae hopped up off the bed to let her out, seeing her waiting by the door. He left the door propped open a few inches so she could enter once she'd returned.
Before she vanished into the woods, Elisha peered at her Master who was taking on a sickly pallor. She’d never seen him like this. It was like he was breaking apart, little by little. His usual confidence, crumbling. Replaced by guilt—something he’d felt before, but had always pushed down deep by telling himself if his father approved, there was no reason to feel such things. And this was all topped off with hints of withdrawal… having all that unnatural power inside of him had left him feeling out of sorts.
Jae twisted around to see Colby slide to the back of the bed and lean his head against the wall with an audible groan. He wanted to pass out. Not to think. He wanted a redo on this day. Heck, on this life. He'd never done such stupid things before. Katana could have stolen some powerful weapons from him—make that from his father, because he didn't truly own anything. His father would be pissed. No, livid, more like. And why did it even matter?
A wave of desperation washed through him, trampling his nerves.
Jae held his breath, eyeing the door and the bed and the empty bench, his body itching to make a choice of stay, or leave—if he had his choice, he'd stay, but he wanted Colby to have some space to think. And it only felt right to let the guy ask—but would he? Fear of rejection was a big deal, and an even bigger deal when you were realizing you'd pretty much been rejected your whole life without knowing it.
At the same time, he wanted to help the guy, and sometimes people needed a push, a sign, something to denounce that silent fear of being rejected before they dared ask for help. And Jae had this growing need to protect him. Which only furthered his own confusion and frankly, scared him.
Jae stalled. Pretending to straighten things up around the wagon that didn't need it.
Colby slammed his eyes closed, wishing away everything. Every thought. Every memory. Every dream. Every desire he'd ever had for his future. Every need he had to please his father.
This was all too much for one mind to process.
He’d taken his father’s side. Promised him his loyalty. And proceeded to betray him by letting all his prisoners go free, and left—no, he'd fled and gone into hiding. Run away like a coward, and hidden in a ghost world.
He’d given up everything his father offered him. Power—to be a King.
His sister’s face wandered into his mind. The desperate and silent desire to have him do exactly what he’d just done, and defy his father. And she probably wouldn’t even be smug about it, and for some reason, this irritated him even more. Meghan would simply… love him for it. In a rather pretentious, I expected nothing less from you, manner. And that was part of the problem though, wasn't it? Her expectations. Her opinions. They mattered to him whether he wanted to admit it or not.
And Jae…
Colby had no way to express why Jae's opinions of him mattered. But they did, and differently so than anyone else's.
When he’d first seen Jae in that cage, it had infuriated him. He was done with cages of any kind. He imagined Jae felt
the same—but his fellow prisoner couldn’t easily walk away from his own demons. He wanted a way out but didn’t have one, other than to run away and be a prisoner on the run. That, or figure out some way to kill Juliska Blackwell.
How was this fair? Or right?
Yeah, Jae had made the choice to become what he did, but he hadn't known everything. He'd been tricked. Lied to. Manipulated. And that was something Colby understood, and was understanding even more, each day.
And to see the conditions the Svoda were living in… it didn’t matter what his father said. Or Juliska. Or anyone. There was something deep down inside himself that plain old screamed and shouted, THIS IS WRONG. How can this be okay?
And when Jae had approached him with his request—no, begging—to send his sister away, it had thrown him over some invisible edge he hadn’t even realized he was balancing on. The raw fear flaying Jae’s entire being, that he would have to kill his sister, or his parents, or any innocent, was too much—the tipping point.
He didn’t want to see that look on Jae. Or anyone he cared about—and damn it, that was the problem right there, wasn’t it? Caring. His father had kept him away from other people for almost his entire life. This must have been why. So he never cared about anyone other than his father. Or himself. His father was good at that.
But he’d had his grandmother too. Partially, at least. She hadn't been free either.
And his mother, until his father had deemed him old enough to no longer need her. God, he could not think about that day. If he did, he’d fall off another cliff and bury himself even deeper in this pit of self-loathing and shame.
And then there was the hurt he’d caused, in carrying out his father’s wishes. He was a murderer. He’d killed Jasper Thorndike and Amelia Cobb. Amelia, she might have deserved it, but Jasper most definitely did not, and that made him a killer, plain and true. And his grandmother, how would she ever forgive him? Aloyna loved that man. She was one of the few people who had cared for Colby, and he’d severed that relationship, for sure. He couldn’t even look her in the face when he’d gone to see Meghan.
But he’d also been too numb at the time. His true self, buried deep in an attempt to accept his fate. Accept his father's plans for him. Now, he was experiencing emotions he didn’t even have names for. And it sucked.
And if he was honest, truly and brutally honest, he'd basked in the idea of being a King. Of living forever. Basically having nothing at all to worry about, and living a life that afforded him anything he wanted. He enjoyed ordering people around. Being in charge. It was a thrilling thing to instill fear and have people obey you—but the other side of that, was he only enjoyed that result when it came to people he thought deserved it. And that list had changed. Was changing.
And another problem—part of him still basked in the possibility of being a King. Which made his skin crawl and tighten, like he was cramped into his own body. He shifted, unable to find comfort in his own presence. He was more tired than he’d ever felt, and yet swore he could run a marathon. He was in a tug of war, with a thick rope around his middle—both sides pulling at him. It was more like he had a noose around himself that was getting tighter, and those fighting over him forgot to notice he was suffocating in the middle of it all.
Jae's shoulders slumped. There was no way to keep stalling about not leaving without explaining himself—that he didn't want to leave. The anguish rolling off the young man fidgeting on the bed demanded he fix it, somehow. And yet he had no clue how to do that, and Colby wasn't asking him to. The pull to stay only made partial sense. He wanted to make sure Colby didn’t slip into the darkness and not come back out of it. Or give in to the things he'd run from, and return to his father because it was easier. And familiar.
But there was another side to the pull… things he didn’t want to think about because to admit them meant most likely being rejected, himself, and that would be a new kind of hurt he had yet to experience.
So much for no secrets—he was being a total chicken. But this might prove to be the hardest secret to let out, most especially since he'd never fully allowed himself to acknowledge it until now.
Jae hesitantly made for the door. "I'll um—just—"
"Will you stay?"
He wasn't expecting that and almost thought he might have made it up in his head. He let go of the door and swung around to make sure Colby had actually said it.
The guy chewed on his bottom lip, struggling to repeat himself.
"Will you… stay?" he got out. "Please." The request was apprehensive, needy, and all the encouragement Jae needed to do what he'd already wanted to. He aimed himself toward the bench but at the last minute, dove into the depths to find the courage to sit where he really wanted to. He slid across the bed, sitting up against the back wall, his feet barely hitting the edge of the bed.
Colby twisted to see Jae. He met his gaze, which at that moment seemed like the hardest task he’d ever accomplished, because he was letting someone see him. Really, see him.
Jae accepted the unspoken thank you with a silent you're welcome. It was hard enough for Colby to ask, Jae didn't want to push. Just be there. And for the first time in his life, Colby was grateful—not because the guy didn't push, or rub it in, and even understood him on some level. But simply that he wasn't alone, and that he didn't want to be alone, with anyone else. And for reasons only the cosmos might be able to explain, he sent out a silent thank you for this one thing.
CHAPTER 13
"Hello, Father. I have a gift for you."
The familiar voice startled KarNavan and he looked up from his chair to see his daughter, returned. He'd only hours before arrived back on the island and stationed his Striper Guard to keep watch for Svoda attempting to penetrate the island's borders.
Whatever Colby had done to destroy the magical protection that had been in place over the island, he'd done it well. They hadn't yet managed to fix it. That was some powerful magic he'd used.
"What? You believed I would abandon you?" Katana Jade winked at her skeptical father. "You gave me a job. I did it how it needed to be done." She shot him a sly grin.
He breathed out and leaned back.
"And did your cohorts return with you?"
"No. Part of my gift, I can tell you where they are." She rolled her eyes. "Regular bag of fun, those two."
KarNavan didn't care about fun, but did eye his daughter with a newfound regard. "And what's the other part of this gift?"
Katana proceeded to take a seat across from him. "How about a way to take out Jurekai Fazendiin?"
"Not a good idea."
Her eyes widened in shocked question.
He hadn't yet explained to her they needed the man alive to keep their own lives. But she'd fled before he'd had the chance. Of course, she was not immortal. Yet.
"And what if I told you I could get you not only, the Book of Doorways, but a copy of that book everyone's always fighting over—The Magicante—as well as, the Bone Dagger."
Her father's eyes perked up considerably. "Could get?"
"I could have taken them already, but I need my boys to trust me." Her tone indicated some sort of plan. One KarNavan needed a moment to think on, before hearing it out. He'd already solidified his loyalty to Fazendiin. And they needed the man alive, to live themselves. But something about his daughter's features told him perhaps, just perhaps, there was another way for this to work out.
"The dagger is all juiced up and ready to use," Katana pointed out.
They'd heard that Colby had stripped the magic out of himself, with the assistance of Juliska's pet, Jae Mochrie.
"I’ve also got a most interesting story to tell you. My cohorts, ran into an old friend. Juliska Blackwell's dead, ex-fiancé. He had a lot to say. A lot to say about the man you’ve made some sort of deal with."
"Have made a deal with," her father clarified. She waited expectantly. "First, tell me all you’ve learned. Then, I’ll tell you all about my deal."
So she did.
And a couple of hours or so later, she'd finished. It was getting late. And the gleam in her father’s eyes told her he had a new plan hatching. She assumed, the same she was already dreaming up.
"So?" She waited expectantly for him to respond.
He let out a long, thoughtful, and greedy breath.
"We don’t do anything."
"What?" she choked out.
He eyed her, a grin forming.
"We don't do anything. For now."
"Okay." She wasn't so sure about this plan of non-action.
"We let things play out. We let everyone play their part, first." He eyed her, assuming she’d understand after a moment of thought, if she was as clever as she believed anyway. And to prove his point, she smirked and leaned back in her chair.
She folded her arms in smug awareness.
"We let them finish what they started. Take out Fazendiin for us. Steal a move out of his own playbook."
"We don’t let them kill him, though. Only strip away his immortality. And his power."
"Why would you want him alive?"
"To undo some magic." He spent the next few minutes explaining the deal he’d made. Immortality in exchange for their loyal service. Katana hadn’t seen that coming.
"That’s a… good deal."
"Looking better every minute. The hard part is done. We have the immortality. We'd only need to take our Lord and King out of the picture—"
"And take charge ourselves." She grinned haughtily. "I am my father's daughter, am I not?"
He beheld her, seeing her as such for the first time.
"Ardon, she um, went along with this too I'm guessing?" Katana asked.
"Without a single doubt."
That was good, because she liked her aunt.
"So, daughter mine, you're positive you can get your hands on that dagger?"
"I knew that would be your favorite."
"It has the most potential for immediate damage."
"It's a cannon ready to explode at the right time, if used by the right person."
"An unstable cannon if used by the wrong person. Not just anyone can wield that kind of power. You saw what it almost did to Colby, and he's powerful without that magic inside of him."
The Queen, The Mirror, and The Creation (Fated Chronicles Book 5) Page 11
