"I don't feel any different." Jae wondered if he should. "Maybe I'm the one who's dreaming." He eyed Colby who gave him a quick, grounding kiss.
"Nope. You're not. We are both quite awake."
Jae returned to staring down the newly arrived ghost who'd suddenly gone quiet. A million questions instantly pounded against his brain trying to break their way through. From, how did she die, because she was immortal, but somehow wasn't anymore. To, what the heck was going on back home? And, what did all of this mean for him and his own future?
Colby got to the heart of the matter. He cared not about the how's and why's, but only, "What's this mean to him?" A shiver ran down the young man's spine, but then he realized it wasn't just him. Jae was shaking next to him.
Juliska went to speak, but stopped. Even in this ghostly form, a great humbled, sadness enveloped her.
"Jae, you can go home," Eddy explained in soft bluntness.
"Wh—what does that mean, exactly?"
"The spell—the curse—is broken," Eddy told him. "The Scratchers are dead. No longer in service. No longer—"
"Enslaved to me," finished Juliska. "Before my life ended, I released all those bonded to me."
"But I wasn't there."
"And he's still alive," Colby pointed out.
"Because he was left out of the kill order." Eddy gave his head an agitated shake. That hadn't come out nearly as eloquently as he'd meant it to.
"I don't understand." Jae rubbed a hand over his face nervously. "If I go home, won’t I die too?"
"No." Juliska came forward again, her ghostly gait stronger and less intimidating. "You will not die, Jae. You will be free."
Free.
That was a meaning he didn't quite know how to process.
"There are no words appropriate for the apology I owe you, Jae Mochrie. Saying, I'm sorry, is…"
"A start," Colby injected protectively. Something about his actions brought a weak smile to Jae's face. Colby might have hit rock bottom and was trying to figure out how to rebuild his life, but the familiar no-filter still existed. He hadn't lost himself. Not completely.
The smile dampened when Jae's eyes landed back on Juliska though.
Regret. Shame. Humility. All things he'd never honestly seen in her before. It was… something he didn't know how to process or respond to.
"When you return home, Jae, you'll be free—of me. The beast inside of you will always be there, but you will have no reason to fear its existence. It will be an ally, not an enemy. Never something to fear."
There was no getting rid of the thing, but if it didn't control him, Jae supposed he could live with that… those words caught him off guard. Live with that… the trembling in his limbs made him unsteady. He was going to get a chance to live. A real, second chance not to muck things up.
"If the worst thing that happens to me, is I have to live with the beast, I think I can do that. I probably deserve that." The constant reminder of what had been. What could be if he ever strayed down a dangerous path again.
"The fault lies with me, Jae Mochrie. It was never with you. Only with me, as well as—" her eyes reached Colby. She had some things to say to him too. Eddy touched her arm gently. She had to be careful how much she revealed to the living. There was so much truth in death. A clarity unlike any of her days, in the living world. "The fault also lies with your father, Colby."
"So much of it does." But he got the impression she meant something specific, to him. Maybe even Jae.
Juliska paused after a warning look from Eddy.
"It's not for me explain. Albeit, I would recommend asking your father so you can see the truth in what he tells you."
"About what?"
"Why he chose you. Do not ever trust the man you call your father, Colby. By blood, he might be this, but he will never be the man you want him to be."
Only yet more confirmation of what he was already becoming so keenly aware of and accepted.
"I um—I know that he won't."
Accepted it, yes, still hard to admit aloud, also a yes.
Juliska fixed her gaze on Colby. "He only serves himself. No one else. He will use you, and those you love, in ways you cannot possibly fathom. Don't give him the chance to do this to you. Don't end up like me." Her voice wavered. Drained of all vigor. Her ghostly halo dimmed, a forlorn sadness replacing it. Her ghostly form turned from them and without another word, vanished into the woods in a haze of shadow and darkness.
That image Jae had in his mind of Colby not daring to reach out and take what he wanted for fear of it becoming known, and used against him, was pretty darn near spot on. And he feared part of Colby's struggle was realizing the predicament he was putting Jae in by being the object of that desire. But he refused to allow guilt and fear tear them apart. And he'd not allow it to tear Colby apart, either.
Eddy smiled kindly at the young men.
"Enjoy your freedom. And do not doubt that you deserve it. I will bid farewell for now, although, I am certain we shall meet again. Someday." Eddy disappeared in the same manner as his estranged fiancé.
Jae hardly noticed, his nerves swarming in heat, his skin slick with cold sweat, making him woozy as the relentless rush of reality slammed its way home.
He was free.
Just like that.
Free.
He hadn't needed to confront Juliska.
His sentence had been commuted without any effort on his part.
He'd been handed back his life!
And apparently, his own feet couldn't even hold it together because before he knew it he was unbalanced and on the ground. Colby was taken down with him and they just sat there for a few minutes. Jae had never experienced such crushing relief. He didn't even realize how wet his face was until two warm hands wiped the bleariness away.
"I just—I can't—I can't believe it."
He could go home. Find his family. His friends… he could go home.
His eyes met Colby's—well, maybe not yet. Going home wasn't just as easy as stepping back through the doorway and onto the island, as if life would instantly become rainbows and candy. But he was free. And that was a hell of a thing.
He pushed out a sigh, his forehead leaning into Colby's.
There was a light kiss on his lips and he lifted his head to a thin smile.
"I feel like this is a dream. One that just got thrown at me. I didn't even have to work for it. And I don't see how I can deserve it."
"Apparently, fate has decided otherwise. And I agree. It is a shame, though." Colby's voice held a subtle humor. "I won't get to figure out some way to stab the curse out of you and repay the favor." Jae forced out a sharp laugh. "And I didn't even have to make some stupid deal with my father."
Jae pinned his gaze on the guy he was falling head over heels in love with.
"You were totally going to do that, weren't you?"
"First thing."
"You promised."
"I thought I would try to keep that promise. But in the end, I'd have given into him in a heartbeat if he found a way to free you. I think." He crinkled his nose. "I'd like to think I'm brave enough, but maybe I'm not."
"You don't have to be. And we don't have to go back. At least, not until you're ready."
Colby dropped his hand from Jae's face. "And when will that be? Days? Weeks? I'll just wake up one morning, and say, hey, guess what? Today's the day! I'm gonna go confront my dad. Later!" He waved to Jae as if hopping away on some silly jaunt.
Jae frowned. But Colby had a point.
"What if my magic never starts working again? I might as well be a useless appendage."
"Don't do that," Jae responded more harshly than he intended. " Healing takes time and you're worth so much more than you realize. It's not about what kind of magic you can do. And what just happened to me, doesn't take away what you went through, Colby. It's too soon to go back. And tonight, it's enough for me to know that when we are ready to go home, there won't be anything stopping us."
"That's not how I see it. I'm not stuck with you."
"Aren't you though? If it wasn't for me, you'd be going home already. Not sitting here talking me out my next round of panic. I've spent so many years being scared all of the time. And then I guess I just stopped feeling altogether. And now, I feel—everything. It's a new kind of fear but I can handle it on my own. Because I always have."
"Alone didn't exactly work out for either of us," Jae returned stubbornly. "And well—maybe it's not all about you, and what you want. Or think you can handle." Colby lifted his gaze, eyes narrowed. "Maybe I need you."
"I have nothing to offer except being the suddenly overnight clingy idiot who can't see straight. Think straight. Stop being afraid of what's coming next. Who can't even think about seeing his father without a near breakdown setting in. No matter how brave I think I could try to be."
Jae decided to try another tactic.
"Do you love your father? Even with all you've gone through, and all you've learned, all he's done to you… do you still love him?"
"I—" he grimaced, sitting up straighter as he thought about it.
"Let me put it this way, whether you'd call it love, or not, I think deep down in your soul, no matter what has happened, you can't just go from one place, to another, instantly. You can't just hate him because you order yourself to. And maybe that's why you panic. Because you know that even though a big part of you hates him, another part of you doesn't. And that's okay too. He's your father."
"I want to hate him. I mostly hate him."
"I felt that way about my own dad for a long time. And even Juliska." Jae shook his head like he didn't believe his own thoughts. "I grew up thinking she was someone to admire. And that didn't just go away once I gave her my loyalty and threw my life away. It's hard to see them as something completely different than what we first come to believe. It's not easy to let go of what we're supposed to think, or have thought all along. Even when plain, irrefutable evidence is laid out at our feet. And I hated myself for getting into the mess. Just as much, if not more, than I hated her for pulling me into it."
"She took advantage of you," Colby reminded. Jae nodded, and reached out and placed his palm against Colby's heart.
"True. There's no denying that either. In the end, though, when it comes to your father, you can only do what your soul can live with. Nothing more can be expected of you."
A familiar voice called out in smug satisfaction. "I might have an argument for that theory."
CHAPTER 38
The boys twisted their heads, startled.
Katana Jade loomed not far away and she was not alone. Stripers and Duppy.
"You know, you really should have stuck with your old ranks and reputations. You guys had the world handed to you. And look at you now. All broody, sappy, and we don't need magic because we have love… you make me want to vomit."
They ignored her words, gazes stuck on the Bone Dagger she was so carelessly fooling around with. One of the Stripers held the Book of Doorways and The Magicante.
Jae opened his mouth to ask what this was about but slapped it shut. There was no need. They'd been tricked, plain and simple.
He and Colby passed a knowing glance between each other—they'd done the right thing when they hadn't trusted her. And she'd find out soon enough. And while Jae wasn't sure what her end game was, Colby was certain they were here to bring him back to his father. Which was something he was not ready to do—now that he was faced with it, it was the last place he wanted to go.
Jae climbed to his feet bringing Colby with him, serving as a barrier between him and the Stripers, because he was afraid of the same thing.
"Why don't you just take what you stole and leave?"
"Yeah, these aren't the only precious items I'm here for."
"We're not going with you, Katana." Jae gently pushed Colby back and tried to get more space between them and the Stripers.
"Yeah. Yeah. Sure, you're not." She sucked in and turned to her ghost cohort, Duppy.
"We're done here. You fulfilled your duty. So—go move on, or what the heck ever." She waved him off.
"It doesn't work like that," he grumbled in reply. "You or I don't get to—" before the word, decide, left his tongue, he winced. "Never mind. My afterlife is waiting for me." He grinned, and without so much as a farewell, was gone from Grimble. His ghostly frame moving on to whatever awaited him. Although no one standing around particularly cared what that was, only that he was no longer here to create more trouble.
A meowed echoed into Colby's mind. "I'm on my way to you." Elisha… she'd most likely not arrive in time to help. She had no fire to jump to them.
Jae scowled as more Stripers surrounded them. They were outnumbered. And even if Eddy came back it didn't matter as he was dead, and therefore useless fighting against the living.
"You can have what you stole, Katana," Jae determined again. "But if you think we're going with you, anywhere, you are mistaken." He positioned himself, ready to fight.
She and the others laughed triumphantly at that.
"You're one guy protecting the shadow who was once a king in the making." Jae winced. They shouldn't have let her see that Colby's magic was on the fritz. "Plus, my father informed me the Scratchers are no more. So you don't even have that to fight with."
She'd waited until they were at their most vulnerable—except for the small win in that Jae did still have his beast inside of him, which meant they'd not overheard that part of the conversation. He'd have to time his attack perfectly though, because he also wasn't tied to Juliska and her immortality any longer, which meant he could be injured, and killed.
An inevitable end, he imagined, seeing as there was no way he could fight them all, human or Scratcher. Although tonight, he'd be fine with taking out Katana Jade—but Colby's safety came first. He reached behind to make sure he was still there. He was. He hadn’t moved. Momentarily petrified of the outcome.
"I'm not letting you take Colby."
She cocked her head. "We won't have to take him. He'll come voluntarily."
"No, he won't," Jae argued. "He's not going back to his father. He doesn't want to be a king."
"Is that what you think this is about?" Katana jested. "Oh no." She trained her eyes on Colby. "We don't want you to return to your father's service."
"Then what do you want?" Colby questioned, unease heavy on his tongue. He'd stepped up to stand next to Jae, who saw the subtle hints of fear and doubt Colby struggled to control. And that's when Jae's true determination kicked in, because this was the same thing Colby had suffered his entire life—everyone always wanted something from him because of who he was. And now, they knew that Jae was the weakness that would make him give in.
"You know what?" started Jae with a shake of his head. "It doesn't matter what you want, Katana. You're not getting it. Colby isn't doing anything, for any of you."
The sneer in Katana's Jade eyes argued, he won't have a choice…
Colby's bravado snapped and the panic set in again. If only he could get himself together and get his magic to work. It was basically Jae against ten, while also protecting a useless appendage—wait—maybe there was a way to get help?
Elisha was running full out to reach them. But there was someone else Colby could ask for help. Meghan would hear him, wouldn't she? And wouldn't she come to his rescue? It was kind of her thing, rescuing people. He'd never asked before though, and she had no reason to answer, or come to his aid. Nevertheless, he had to try.
"I'm going to ask Meghan for backup," he whispered. "We can't win this alone." Jae's frown set into a worried acceptance, because Colby was right. All his wishing for enough strength to win one against ten was just that—wishing.
He only hoped help would arrive fast enough. And that they'd actually come.
Of course they'd come.
If they were able…
Jae steeled himself for the possible scenario in which that was not an option, and they were stuck fighting this battle alone—and then he got an idea. Possibly a stupid one, but it was the only potential outcome that might allow them to get away. Or at least stall until more help arrived.
"Where's Elisha?" Jae whispered as the Stripers slowly closed the gap.
"She's not far."
"Tell her to meet us near the doorway back to the island." Colby's face pinched inward in question but he obeyed at once. "You're not afraid of heights, are you?" Jae asked him.
"No." Maybe the one thing he wasn't afraid of.
"Good. Then duck." Colby fell downward as Jae released the beast still inside of him, catching everyone off guard—especially Katana, as she'd been under the impression he'd lost that ability.
His wings outstretched and he spun and snarled and slammed anything in his way. When they were on the ground and recovering from the shock of it—Jae guessed he had around three seconds—he launched himself upward with Colby clutched in his talons in front of him. He needed to be careful not to wrap him up in his wings, though, or that would kill him. At least, Jae guessed it would. He assumed that ability had not changed with Juliska's death, and he certainly wasn't going to test it out on Colby.
They made it safely over the treetops, but Jae flew close and used them as cover. Colby shouted something in a panic causing Jae to lurch. He looked down, afraid he was hurting him, but it wasn't Colby in trouble.
"It's Elisha. They caught her before she could get back to the doorway."
Jae lowered himself. They were close to the doorway and they needed to land. Flying through wasn't an option anyway, and he'd not abandon Elisha. It stupidly hadn't dawned on him that the doorway would be guarded. Because of course it would.
He released Colby, who struggled to balance himself while searching frantically for Elisha, as Jae transformed back into his human self—at the same time shooting off defensive spells to block the ones hurtling at them from the two Stripers guarding the door.
The others would not be far behind.
The Queen, The Mirror, and The Creation (Fated Chronicles Book 5) Page 27
