by Lexy Timms
I set Chipper in my mom’s lap, and a small smile crept across her cheeks.
“A game of pinochle got a little rowdy last night,” my mother said.
“Sounds like a good story. What happened?” I asked.
“I don’t wanna waste my time talking about some card game. I want you to tell me how your new job is going.”
I was shocked she remembered and felt my spirits lifting even more.
“It’s going well. We’ve hit some snags, but that’s corporate life. I got moved into a new place, and I love it, thanks to my fun new paycheck.”
“I noticed my account had more money in it than I recalled,” she said.
“Consider it an early birthday present.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to spend it on. I never go anywhere,” she said.
“Then go somewhere now. Take one of those trips with the pinochle gang and treat them to lunch. I’m sure they would love that. And you might too.”
“It’s been a while since I’ve enjoyed something like that. I just might.”
“I think you should,” I said.
The two of us sat there, rocking in chairs on the porch of the nursing home. She was stroking Chipper, and he was falling asleep in her lap. I took in the sun on my face and the comfort it brought to be sitting there, talking with my mother.
Then, I heard her rocking chair stop.
“Mom?” I asked.
“What’s this dog doing in my lap?” she asked.
I looked up at the nurse before she gathered Chipper off my mother.
“Whose dog was that?”
“I’m sorry. He’s mine,” I said.
My mother’s gaze whipped over to me, and I could tell she didn’t recognize me.
“Who are you? Why am I outside?”
“I came to visit. We’re sitting outside for it,” I said.
“I never gave my permission to come outside. That’s how it works, right? You have to have my permission?”
“Why don’t we get you inside, Mrs. Ternbeau?” the nurse asked.
“Who is this woman? Why am I out here with her?” my mother asked.
I stood from the rocking chair as tears rose to my eyes.
“I think I should go,” I said.
“What in the world is happening? Why would you put me out here with a stranger? I don’t feel safe here anymore. Get me out of here. Call my daughter. Tell her to come get me!”
I clutched Chipper close to me as I made my way to my car. Tears were welling in my eyes as I ducked down into my car. I watched the nurse walk my mother inside, her voice getting louder with each complaint. She was demanding they call me even though I was sitting right there. She was telling them she didn’t feel safe there any longer if they were willing to sit her out on the porch with a stranger.
She wanted me to come and fix it, but she couldn’t even recognize me.
I settled Chipper in the passenger’s seat as my phone rang. Someone from inside the nursing home was calling, and I debated whether to pick it up. I knew my mother was in good hands. I knew they were doing the best for her that they could. I had the strongest urge to call Jimmy, but I knew he would be angry with me.
Interrupting his guy time or whatever with Markus.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Ashley, I’m so sorry,” the nurse said.
“It’s okay. She was lucid there for a little while, and that’s all that matters,” I said.
“I wanted you to know that the nurse has her calm. She’s about to sit down and eat lunch.”
“Thanks for calling. Take care of her, okay?” I asked.
“I know you don’t always agree with what we do in the moment, but she is loved here.”
“I know she is. It’s hard to watch her constantly bucking against people and having to be poked with needles. I hate needles, and I know she hates them too.”
I heaved a heavy sigh as I leaned my forehead against the steering wheel.
“Thank you for everything you do for my mother,” I said.
“That’s what we’re here for. But she’s settled and eating lunch, and I figured you might want to know,” the nurse said.
“Thanks. If she asks about me again, tell her I love her, and I’ll be by soon.”
“We always do because we know you’ll make good on your word. You’d be surprised the number of people we have here who don’t have family visit them ever.”
“Well, that’ll never be my mother, okay?” I asked.
“We know. For what it’s worth, when she does talk about you, her face lights up.”
A tear streamed down my cheek as I drew in a shaky breath.
“I’ll talk to you guys soon,” I said.
“Talk to you soon,” the nurse said.
Chapter 23
Jimmy
I drove to Ashley’s apartment and waited for her downstairs. She came out in a pair of pants and a shirt with her body wrapped in a cardigan. I furrowed my brow as she looked around, not spotting me sitting at the curb in the car waiting for her. She was dressed like we were going fishing, not like I was taking her out to lunch.
Was she not feeling well again?
“Ashley.”
I rolled down the window, and her eyes met mine.
“Hey. I didn’t think you’d be driving,” she said. “You usually make me come down when you’re not driving.”
“There wasn’t any guest parking in the garage. Come on. Let’s go get some food,” I said.
She climbed into the car but kept her arms crossed over her body. She was closed off, and her body was pushed against the door. I wanted to make conversation with her, but the air between us was tense.
I didn’t like it.
I wanted to find a way to alleviate it.
“Drinks with Markus went well. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I didn’t get back in until almost three,” I said.
“I’m glad you had fun,” Ashley said.
“He asked a lot about you.”
“I hope he’s doing well.”
“Jamie wasn’t with him tonight. She wasn’t feeling well so she decided to stay in.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said.
“You probably would’ve been bored anyway.”
“Not really. I enjoy hanging out with Markus.”
I drew in a deep breath as I settled my eyes on the road. I drove out just past the town city limits to this small place I knew about. She wasn’t dressed to go where I originally wanted to take her, so I figured somewhere quiet and low-key would help her. I didn’t know if it was her migraine or her morning sickness that was doing it, but either way, she would be comfortable. This place had wonderful soups and breads she could munch on and all sorts of flavored waters.
I could have them put some ginger in it for her stomach.
I escorted her into the restaurant, but she wouldn’t let me take her hand. She kept moving it away from mine and stepping away from my hand on her lower back. She usually leaned into my touch, walked beside me and tucked herself underneath my arm. But today was different.
It was like she was trying to get away.
“How’re you feeling today?” I asked.
“Okay. Had a rough visit with my mom yesterday,” Ashley said.
“How so? Is she okay?”
“You know, lucid one moment and not lucid the next. She met Chipper and loved him until she didn’t recognize us.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I could’ve come and helped.”
“I did. Earlier that day. You told me you were going to be with Markus all day.”
“I would’ve left for something like that.”
“Would you have?” she asked.
Her eyes flashed with anger for a moment before our waiter came to take our order. Ashley ordered some soup with some buttered bread and a fresh glass of strawberry and ginger water. I studied her and the way she was caved in on herself. There were bags under her eyes. The lackluster way she was looking around told me Ashley
wasn’t sleeping well, probably because of the morning sickness.
But her picking at her food did me in.
Instead of eating her soup, she swirled it around, watched the broth make patterns with the vegetables as she sipped her water. Why was she doing this? Why was she prolonging telling me? What did she think was going to happen? Did she think I was going to abandon her, cast her off to the side? I loved her. Sure, we were hitting a rough patch, but couples did all the time.
Why did that translate to hiding her pregnancy from me?
“Do you not like the soup?” I asked
“It’s good soup. I’m just not very hungry.”
“You could’ve told me that. We could’ve gone and done something else,” I said.
“It’s not a problem. I’ll eat it in a second.”
“Are you feeling okay, Ashley? You’ve been off the past few days.”
“I could say the same about you,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“Asking me to knock when I come into your office. Keeping your door closed so we can’t see one another. Sitting away from me at lunch after that meeting. Hell, putting that meeting on my calendar instead of coming to tell me yourself. You used to look for any excuse to come see me. Why has that changed?”
“You’re upset because I’m treating you like an employee?” I asked.
“No. I’m upset because I know that’s a lie.”
“Then you know how it feels,” I said.
“I told you, I took those days to try and figure out what was going on with those balance sheets. The first one I took was simply because I didn’t have them finished, and I needed to get them finished.”
“So there was more than one.”
Ashley bit down on her lip and shook her head. She leaned back in her chair, away from me as her eyes gazed out the window. She was breathing deeply, and her neck was flushing red.
“You’ve been getting very upset recently and very easily, I might add.”
“Maybe because you won’t tell me why you’re all of a sudden avoiding me like a pariah,” she said.
“Because I know you’ve been stressed about something. And yes, it might partially be because you took sick days and lied to me about them. I’m supposed to be able to trust you.”
“You told me you trusted me Friday. Are you saying you lied to me then?” she asked.
“Would you have a leg to stand on if I was?”
“Yes, because what I was lying to you about was helping me figure out this mess your company is in. You lying to me about something personal like that is a completely different ballgame.”
I wanted to tell her it wasn’t. I wanted to tell her she was lying by withholding this pregnancy from me, but I wanted us to have a nice afternoon. I wanted to create an environment where she felt she could talk to me about this, and the tension and anger we were throwing at one another wasn’t helping.
“I’m sorry if I’ve been distant,” I said. “The stress of this issue at the company is getting to me. A lot.”
“You’re not the only one,” Ashley said softly.
“I get it. I do. And I’m sorry I’ve been taking it out on you. I’m frustrated that I’ve been given a deadline by the investors, and I’m frustrated they found out in the first place. I’m frustrated that the private detective agency hasn’t found anything, and I’m just coming out of my skin with frustration.”
“I get it,” she said.
Her eyes met mine, and I saw all the hurt in the galaxy behind them. Her eyes were watering with tears, and my heart ached for her. I got up from my chair, walked around the table, and offered my hand to her. I didn’t want to make her move if she didn’t want to. I didn’t want to jostle her and make her sick.
But the moment she took my hand, I pulled her to my body.
“Why don’t we go back to my place and watch a movie, huh? Wind down, release a bit of stress, and just be with one another before the week starts?”
“I’ve missed you,” Ashley said breathlessly.
“I’m right here,” I said.
We got our food and drinks to go, and we headed back to my place. Ashley had unfurled from her body, and she was letting me hold her hand. I felt like things were slowly settling down between us. She wasn’t pressed against the door, and I even caught her staring at me a time or two.
I smiled at her whenever I caught her eye and watched that beautiful blush tint her cheeks.
We walked hand-in-hand up to my penthouse, and the first thing she did was head for the bathroom. I stood there close to the door, listening to see if I could hear any puking sounds. Heaving sounds. Muffled groans. Anything to give me a leg to stand on when I brought this up. But I didn’t hear anything, and I went to go put our food away so she could finish up whatever she was doing.
“Jimmy? Where’d you go?”
I closed my eyes as I put everything in the fridge.
“In the kitchen,” I said. “Would you like a glass of wine?”
“I’m not really in the mood for wine. Did you take my water back there?” she asked.
That was enough for me. Ashley had never turned down wine in my presence.
Ever.
“Jimmy? What's wrong?”
I turned to Ashley as I nodded my head to the cup on the edge of the counter.
“That’s your water,” I said.
“Thanks.”
“Why are you hiding this from me?” I asked.
“Hiding what?”
“Come on, Ashley. Stop it. I know what’s going on. I know what you’re still hiding from me.”
“Wait, what?” she asked.
“Why don’t you trust me with this? What do you think’s going to happen? What? You think I’m just gonna cast you out or something?” I asked.
“Yeah, actually. I’m pretty scared of losing my job over it.”
“Why would I fire you over something like this?” I asked. “Not only could I get sued for something like that, but I care for you. I wouldn’t fire you over something like this. We’d find a way to get around it.”
“Get around what? There isn’t anything to get around, Jimmy. It’s happening, whether you want it to or not.”
“And I get that, Ashley.”
“You’re insane,” she said. “You don’t get anything.”
“I know your hormones are a little out of whack right now, but what we need to do is get you to an actual doctor who can help us with this,” I said.
“What?” she asked.
“Why am I having to dig this information out of you in the first place? I know why you went to the doctor, Ashley. And you don’t have to worry. We can figure out how to work a baby into our life.”
I watched confusion wash over her face as she set her water down. She cocked her hip out as her eyes darted around my face. I stood there, waiting for her to confirm it, waiting for her to finally show me the beans I had already spilled. If she wasn’t going to tell me, then I was going to tell her I knew. She wasn’t as secretive about this as she thought, and the longer she stared at me, the angrier I got.
“Just say it, Ashley.”
“You think I’m pregnant?” she asked.
“Aren’t you?”
“No.”
“Stop lying. I know you are.”
“No, Jimmy. I’m really not. And the fact you think I would keep something like this from you if I were pregnant is telling me you don’t really know me at all.”
“I didn’t think you would call in sick when you weren’t sick, but that happened twice,” I said.
“Jimmy, you either forgive me for those or you don’t. But you don’t get to continue to tell me you’re fine with it and then bring it up in an argument when it suits you. And no, I’m not fucking pregnant.”
“I know you are. The nausea medication. The mood swings. The pale skin. The picking around at your food. The migraines. Turning down wine. Ashley, that’s your go-to drink. You never turn down wine.”
“You said if I could, to call you. I couldn't call you. I was drunk.”
“Then send a damn text message, Jimmy! For fuck’s sake, I was up until almost one thirty waiting to make sure you were okay!”
“See? Mood swings,” I said.
“Because you’re an asshole, not because I’m pregnant!”
“Stop lying to me. I don’t do that in a relationship. At all,” I said.
Ashley began laughing as she turned her back to me.
“You really think I would keep something like a child from you,” she said.
“I don’t really know what to think right now,” I said.
“I think you’ve got bigger problems than fighting with me about some imaginary pregnancy. Jimmy, I’ve been on the pill for years. I take it like clockwork. I’d have to come off that thing for months before I could even think about getting pregnant. We are not pregnant. Nowhere near it.”
“Bigger problems?” I asked. “And what would those be?”
“The fact that you can’t see what’s right in front of your nose, Jimmy! Your company is tanking, and you won’t do anything to save it because you’re too wrapped up in—”
I felt my own anger boiling my blood as Ashley stopped what she was saying.
“Go ahead. Say it,” I said.
“This isn’t the time or the place,” she said.
“Say it, Ashley.”
“No.”
“Stop holding things back from me and say it. This is my company, and if you have information about what’s going on, I need to know what it is!”
I watched her eyes grow wide as I settled myself down on my feet. She was two seconds away from bolting out the door. I had yelled so loud at her, my ears were ringing. My throat was hurting, and my hands were balled into fists. What the hell was going on? How had this spiraled so far out of control? Ashley grabbed her water and started down the hallway, and I strode after her to keep her from leaving.
“Where are you going?”
“Home,” she said.
“What about our movie?”
