The tears began again. Carly sat there knowing she couldn’t possibly ask the woman’s name now. Nor did she have any advice to give.
“I’m such a loser,” the other woman said.
“No, you’re not. You’re in a difficult situation. You have to make the right decision for you and your children. But it’s your decision. Not anyone else’s.”
The woman nodded. “He loves me. I know he does.”
“I’m sure he does.”
The woman looked at her. “You think I’m fooling myself. That if he loved me, he wouldn’t cheat.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You don’t have to. I can see it in your eyes.”
“Then you’re seeing the wrong thing. Only you can know what’s going on between you and your husband. No one else.”
The woman covered her face with her hands. “I’m such a fool. Why can’t I stop loving him? Why do I have to be stupid?”
“You’re not stupid and you’re not alone. We all do things that don’t make sense to other people.”
She dropped her hands and stared at Carly. “You don’t look like you’d ever make a mistake like this.”
“I’ve made dozens. More than that. My husband cheated on me two days before the wedding. With my best friend.” She shrugged. “I married him, anyway.”
Carly had felt trapped. She was pregnant. At the time she’d felt she didn’t have a choice. That marrying Allen was better than being alone.
There’d been so much screaming, she thought, not wanting to remember but unable to stop herself. First she’d walked in on them. Allen had stood there, naked, swearing it wasn’t his fault. That Michelle had seduced him. He’d been drunk and hadn’t realized what he was doing.
Carly had accepted his story, even as she suspected he was lying. But confronting him and finding out the truth—well, she hadn’t been sure she wanted that.
“Did he explain what had happened?” the woman asked.
“He had a story. I was pretty sure he was lying, but…”
“You had a wedding planned. You couldn’t walk away from that.”
“Isn’t it more important to marry the right guy than one who cheats, though? Having to cancel a wedding would have been easier than getting divorced.”
She would still have her father’s house. If she hadn’t married Allen, he wouldn’t have had the chance to steal from her.
“It’s done,” she said. “Would I do it differently now? I’m not sure.”
The woman bit her lower lip. “You finally left him?”
“Oh, no. He left me. He took everything.” No point in going into details, she thought. She’d shared enough humiliation for one morning.
“John will never leave me,” the woman said. “I know that. It’s not his way.”
Carly managed a smile. “Then you don’t have to worry about that.”
“I know. I guess I should be grateful for what I have and stop expecting him to be faithful.”
Carly didn’t think that should be the lesson learned, but wasn’t sure she should say that.
“Pauline tells me that before I can make any decisions, I have to learn to respect myself,” the woman admitted. “Like I know what that means.”
Carly hadn’t spent much time with Pauline, but her respect for the woman climbed a couple of notches. Self-respect was a hard one. Something she still wrestled with. Telling Robert they couldn’t use each other to hide anymore had gone a long way to getting her closer to achieving what she wanted.
The woman looked at her. “Is it hard? Being alone?”
“Sometimes.”
“Would you take him back?”
“No.”
“That’s the thing,” the other woman admitted. “I don’t want to lose him.”
“Then don’t.”
She smiled. “I guess you’re right. I’m not brave like you. I don’t want to do it all alone. What I have is better than nothing. Thanks for listening.”
She stood and walked back toward the inn.
Carly watched her go.
She’d never been overly successful in the relationship department but “better than nothing” didn’t seem like a goal that would make anyone happy.
* * *
Saturday Michelle walked through the garden. The afternoon had turned sunny and the temperatures were in the low sixties. Practically a heat wave, she thought, eyeing the flowers swaying in the gentle breeze.
Was it her or were the daisies even brighter than usual? The reds and yellows, the pinks, practically glowed against the dark brown of the earth and the green lawn. No doubt the guests found them beautiful, but something about the damn daisies got on her nerves. She wanted to kick them all into submission or, at the very least, rip them up by the roots.
Not that she would. Doing something like that would mean she would move from getting pressured to join a support group to being committed.
The back door to the inn opened and Gabby danced out. There was no other word to describe her happy movements as she turned and dipped and pranced barefoot across the patio, toward the lawn.
The girl held a thick book under one arm. Even from across the lawn, Michelle recognized the cover of a Harry Potter novel, although she couldn’t say which one.
Gabby spotted her and waved, then hurried across the grass toward her.
Michelle watched her, envying the easy movements and remembering when she’d been about that age. Life had been a whole lot less complicated.
“Guess what?” Gabby called as she approached. The girl raced toward her, skidding to a stop on the grass. “I’ve been out three times reading and I haven’t had food and the cranes aren’t bothering me.” She grinned. “They still come look, but then when they see I don’t have a snack, they go away. I talked to Leonard about it.” She wrinkled her nose. “He says they’ve somehow communicated I’m not a food source.”
She giggled. “I guess that’s like a bird grocery store. And then we talked about the cranes. Leonard knows a lot of interesting stuff, like how the birds have these lives with eggs and babies and he said I could go with him to see the chicks, only it’s on this small boat and I’m scared of the water, but I used to be scared of the cranes, so maybe I don’t have to be scared of the water.”
She paused and drew in a breath.
Michelle stared at the girl, remembering the fearful child she’d met less than a month ago.
She wanted to say they were just cranes and not being afraid of them wasn’t a big deal, but she was in no position to be critical of anyone’s issues. Besides, she envied the child’s ability to put aside terrors so quickly and easily. If only she could do the same.
Her gaze dropped to Gabby’s bare feet. Or be that innocent again.
“I’m glad you’re not scared of the cranes, and not being scared of the water is probably a good thing. We do live on an island.”
Carly had always been terrified of the water. As a kid, she’d refused to put even a toe into the Sound. No matter how hot the day, she wouldn’t go into a pool. Had Gabby learned that from her?
“Did you see it’s sunny?” Gabby asked.
“I did.”
“I like sunny days. And we’re planning our summer movies. We go every week in the summer.” She danced in place as she spoke.
She and Carly had gone to the movies weekly during summer, Michelle thought. They’d walked to the only movie theater in town and stood in line with the other kids. When the multiplex had been built, they’d thought it practically a theme park, it had been so thrilling. Ten choices at the same time.
She could see Carly in Gabby. The same shape and color of eyes, the smile. There were probably bits of Allen in her, too, but they seemed less important.
“The movies are great,” Gabby was saying, “Mom says I get lip gloss when I turn ten.”
“Good for you.”
Gabby nodded. “I want a phone, but Mom says no to that. Most of my friends don’t have phones, either.” She
paused. “I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry about Nana Brenda. That she died while you were away. You must be sad about it.”
“Thank you,” Michelle said, surprised Gabby would mention her mother. “Do you miss her?”
Gabby hesitated. “Sometimes she made Mom cry and I didn’t like that. But she could be nice, too. We were friends, I think.”
Michelle felt a combination of compassion and rage. Even from the grave, her mother was doing damage.
She put her hand on Gabby’s small shoulder. “It’s okay to be confused. You love your mom and want to protect her. Just like she protects you. You can remember the good stuff about Nana Brenda, too. People are complicated.”
“I’m not supposed to talk about it,” Gabby admitted in a whisper. “Mom said.”
“I won’t tell.”
Gabby blessed her with a wide smile.
They headed back toward the inn, Gabby chatting about her friends and the summer camp she would attend. That she didn’t like the outdoor stuff, but the computer programming was fun. Once they were inside, Gabby scampered off to find Carly. Michelle moved toward the front desk and saw Ellen Snow walking into the lobby.
“Hi,” Ellen said with a smile when they’d spotted each other. “I’m running errands this morning and thought I’d stop by to see how things are going.”
Michelle wasn’t sure if this was a social call or more about business.
“We’re doing great. Full for the weekend.”
“I’m not surprised,” the tall blonde said. “You have such a beautiful place. I love it here. I always have my friends from Seattle stay here if they want a fun getaway.”
“I’ll take the business.”
They gravitated toward the sofas by the front window and took a seat across from each other. Ellen wore jeans and a light sweater over a tailored shirt. Her boots had three-inch heels. Michelle wasn’t sure how she could walk in them but she was willing to admit they looked good.
“I’ve been meaning to come by sooner,” Ellen admitted. “Time gets away from me. Maybe we can go to lunch or something.”
“Sure,” Michelle said, deciding it was better to be polite than admit the fact that she wasn’t much for “going to lunch.” She had work to do.
Ellen glanced around, then leaned forward. “Is everything all right with Carly?”
“Sure. Why?”
“I know the two of you don’t get along. Who could blame you?”
Michelle shifted in her seat. “You’re the one who insisted I work with her. That she stay on.”
“No,” Ellen said quickly, her gaze sympathetic. “It wasn’t me. Our loan committee said it was important. I tried to talk them out of it. I couldn’t make any headway and I didn’t want to get into Carly’s past, so we’re both stuck.”
Ellen crossed her legs and shrugged. “I know you’re the one who really runs this place. Carly’s great at smiling at the guests. As long as she doesn’t make it obvious she’s sleeping with them, I guess that works.”
Michelle nearly fell off the sofa. “Excuse me? Carly’s not sleeping with the guests.”
Ellen laughed. “Well, sure. Not all of them. But she keeps her hand in, so to speak.”
“I’ve been back a few weeks now and I can tell that Carly does a good job.”
Ellen sighed. “You’re amazingly loyal. I admire that. I would have cut her loose years ago. You remember what she was like in high school.” There was another laugh, this one a little sharper around the edges. “She practically came to school with rug burn on her back. Is there even one guy she didn’t sleep with?”
“That was a long time ago.”
“People don’t change.” Ellen’s expression sharpened. “Trust me on that. Carly is as she always was. My point is, I’m sorry you’re stuck with her. I’ll get that changed as soon as possible and then you’ll have the satisfaction of firing her.”
Michelle felt uncomfortable. Ellen was doing her best to bond and show she was on Michelle’s side, but nothing about this conversation felt right.
“We have an employment contract,” Michelle said, her voice quiet, her mind conflicted.
Ellen grinned. “And I have a lawyer. Don’t worry—we’re friends. I would never stick you with someone like that even a minute longer than necessary.” She rose. “I have forty million things to do this morning. I just wanted to stop by and say hi. Let me know if I can do anything to help.”
Michelle stood, nearly stumbling as pain jabbed her in the hip. Ellen gave a quick wave and walked out.
Michelle was left wondering what Carly had done to make the other woman dislike her so much and, oddly enough, trying to figure out how to make it all better.
Nineteen
Carly grabbed an armful of linens and backed out of the storage room. She couldn’t see where she was going so when she bumped into something solid, she assumed she’d misjudged the path and had run into a wall. Then large, warm hands settled on her waist. Masculine hands.
The unexpected contact made her jump. She spun around to see who was touching her only to find Michelle’s friend grinning down at her from the hallway.
“You looked like you were in trouble,” he said, his blue eyes sparkling with humor, a slow, sexy smile curving his mouth. “It’s my sworn duty to help a lady in distress.”
She shoved the stack of linens at him. “Good to know. Want to carry these?”
“It’s what I live for. Where are we going with them?”
“The end of the hall.”
“I’m Sam,” he said as he fell into step with her.
“Carly.”
He was tall and lean, but with plenty of muscle. Good-looking enough to be interesting but not so handsome that a woman would have to worry he would want more bathroom-mirror time than her. What intrigued Carly the most, though, was his air of competence. He seemed like a man who knew how to take charge. After years of being on her own, that was pretty sexy to her.
They reached the supply room, where the housekeepers collected what they needed every day.
“You can put those on the counter,” she said.
He lowered the linens, then stepped back while she sorted them.
“You’re probably not sure what to ask next,” he told her. “Let me help. I’m a friend of Michelle’s and I’m in town for a job interview. I just got out of the army after serving twenty years, mostly as an MP. I call my momma every week, I prefer to hold doors open for women and believe on a first date the man should pay. So I guess that makes me old-fashioned.”
Carly separated the sheets from the pillowcases and stacked them neatly. She made sure there were enough towels, little soaps and lotions. Finally she turned to Sam.
He stood confidently, aware of what he offered. She knew the type—he liked women and they liked him back. Which should have reminded her of Allen. Except her ex had been more interested in what he could get and she’d heard rumors not every guy was like that.
Funny how she’d gone nearly ten years without so much as a sexual twitch and in the space of a couple of weeks she’d met two guys who appealed to her. She wanted to do a little “my girl parts aren’t dead” dance, but knew that would only be frightening for anyone watching.
“You think you’re charming,” she said.
“I’ve heard that a time or two.”
“Married?”
“Divorced.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and waited.
“Twice,” he added with a shrug. “Okay, so sometimes I’m not the fastest learner. Both were impulses. I’m taking things slower, now. Settling into a new town. Speaking of which, I’d love to see more of it. What with you being a native and all, maybe you could show me around.” The charming, seductive smile returned. “Just to be neighborly.”
His voice held a hint of the South, as if he’d either been born there or spent a lot of time there. She had a feeling he was interested in more than a tour of Blackberry Island.
She hadn’t been
on a date since she’d first gone out with Allen. Her last sexual encounter had been when she was five months pregnant and had been with her husband. Since then there had been a long, barren desert when it came to men and sex.
Mango had reminded her of possibilities. Sam made her want to take a test drive. He made her aware of her body—especially the aforementioned girly parts. She wanted to shut the door, pull the fresh, clean towels onto the floor and invite him to a party. At the same time she knew there were a lot of reasons why she should resist. In the interest of not being stupid, she took a step back.
Barefoot Season Page 18
