by Lacey Silks
“It’s him who’s been so good. I don’t deserve it, but he insists. I think it’s his way of coping with Bradley’s death.”
“I think you’re right. Hope to see you again soon.”
We waved our good-byes, and Dr. Marvey came over as I gathered my purse. “You’re going to do so well here, Annabelle.”
“Thank you, doctor. But it was just a splinter.”
“A delivery one day, a splinter another.” He laughed before I left.
While Ogden had its handful of people who should have been banned from here, the majority kept the town’s good name intact. I left the office just after one to drive to the hospital. The visit with my mom was quicker than I expected. She was getting ready for her final skin graft, and we were only able to spend a few minutes together.
As I walked across the street to where I’d parked my car beyond the garden square, two T-shirts in a store window display caught my eye. One had two pink pigs humping each other with the caption Making Bacon, and the other one had the words Real Men Rub Their Meat.
He’s going to get a kick out of these, I thought as I paid for my purchase. It seemed that the pigs at my parents’ farm were making more trouble than we originally thought, and now they’d ruined mine and Derek’s plans to go to San Francisco together. Realizing I would need to make the trip on my own, I let out a long breath and headed across the park to my car. As I passed the first row of shrubs, the voice I dreaded stopped me in my path.
“Well, well. If it isn’t my Anna.” Rick lowered the paper he was obviously pretending to read.
I jumped back on instinct, quickly trying to recover, wiping the fear off my face. “What are you doing here?” I asked.
“You’re not the only one who has business around here, Anna.”
“What business?” I wondered what in the world would cause him to drive twenty hours away from San Francisco. I knew he didn’t do it just to check up on me. In fact, being the scrooge he was, why would he have spent so much on fuel or even on a bus ticket? I didn’t expect him to be here when he surprised me the first time at the hospital, and now, it was odd that he’d be here at the same time that I was.
“You are my business. The account is running low, Anna, and I got this great job for you. They’ll even let you wear a nurse’s outfit.” He stood up off the bench he was sitting on and strolled toward me. The crunch of the gravel under his predatory steps coursed through me the same way as if someone had pulled their nails over a chalkboard.
“Please, Rick. I need to get home and study.” I took a step back.
“You’ve had three weeks to study. I’ve missed you, Annabelle.” He reached for me, but I moved out of the way. Spitting to the side, he clenched his fists. Rick had chosen a concealed spot to ambush me. And I should have known better than to walk through a section of the park few people crossed. But this was supposed to be a safe place for me—one that was far away from him.
“Come here.” Rick grabbed me, twisting my body around and yanking me against him. His grasp from behind was strong, and I knew I couldn’t get out of it until he’d let me go, or at least until someone walked by. His hand drew around my waist and up to my breast. He cupped it, squeezing it way too tightly for comfort.
I wanted to remind him that our agreement was only on paper. I wanted to scream for him not to touch me, but I couldn’t. My entire body shut down when Rick was around, because I knew that if I resisted, it’d be much worse.
“Please,” I begged, feeling the first tears streaming down my face. “Don’t.”
“It’s been too long, Annabelle. And I have needs.” He pulled me to the side, pushing me against a tree. I felt the bark scrape my cheek as Rick reached underneath my skirt. His free hand held both of mine tightly. How could he? Here? Anyone could walk in on us at any moment; in fact, I prayed that someone would. The feel of his palm along my inner thigh as he spread my legs made me want to puke. I didn’t want this. I had to stand up for myself. For once, I needed to make him stop before he went too far.
“I got some extra money,” I said.
He paused for a moment, hesitating. If there was anything that could pull his attention away from me, it was cash.
“It’s not a lot, but I’ve been able to work at a farm between studying. It’s in my purse.”
The five hundred dollars my brother had given me may not have been a lot, but I think it was enough to bribe Rick. He slapped my ass before lowering my skirt. “See, I knew there was a good reason I came here.”
He started digging through my purse. And of course the paper money wasn’t enough. Rick shook the last cent I had out of my wallet.
“I have to go back now if I want to keep working before leaving for San Francisco. Otherwise, they won’t pay me.”
“Well, I guess you’re not as useless as I thought you were.” He stuffed his pocket with the money before coming close to me again. “I’ll see you soon, Annabelle. And I’m expecting a proper reunion when you return.”
And he left. Just like that.
I lowered to the ground, leaned against the tree, and sobbed. With the memory of Rick’s hands on me still fresh in my mind, shame crossed through me. How could I let Derek touch me after that? With a single contact, Rick managed to ruin my body all over again. I thought I’d been healing and forgetting. Every time Derek took me into his arms, holding me as if wanting to take away all the pain, I felt like he removed a layer of humiliation along with despair. He was able to erase the dread of my past. But this afternoon, Rick managed to make me feel unworthy of another man’s touch. Would I ever be able to get rid of the bastard, or would he haut me until I literally disappeared?
I wasn’t sure how long I’d sat underneath that tree when someone said, “Annabelle?”
My eyes swollen, I lifted my head to see Blake.
“Oh my God! What happened?” he asked.
I threw myself into his arms. Blake held me against him without asking another question. He smoothed my hair back, kissing my head until I was able to stand on my own. That’s when I noticed that Missy was with him. She held her arms out, and I took comfort in them.
“Whatever it is, Annabelle, we can get through it together,” she whispered. “We’re all here for you.”
I still wasn’t able to get a word out.
“Come on, we’ll drive in my truck. I’m coming back here in a couple of days anyways, to pick up the crib. We can take your car back then.”
Blake and Missy dropped me off at Derek’s. I lay down on the living room couch, and Derek covered me with a blanket.
“I found her like this at the park by the hospital,” Blake said to his brother. “She looked like she’d been crying for a while.”
“All right, thank you,” Derek replied.
After that, I don’t remember much. I just know that I had some tea and somehow ended up in my bed. Derek hadn’t left my side the entire night.
CHAPTER 16
Annabelle
As soon as the first ray of morning light hit my eyes, I shot up trying to get my bearings. Sucking in air and wiping my eyes, I felt relief wash over me when I realized I was still in Ogden.
“It’s all right, Annabelle. Everything is okay.” Derek’s voice eased my worries as he embraced me. I looked at the clock on the nightstand. It was just after five thirty in the morning, and I was still wearing the same clothes from yesterday.
“I have to change.” I rolled off the bed and started removing them. The dress, my undershirt, my bra, then underwear—all of it. I couldn’t tear them off me fast enough. I didn’t want anything reminding me of Rick. In fact, I made a note to burn these items. It wasn’t until I saw Derek’s startled face that I realized I was standing naked in the middle of the room. I grabbed the clothes off the floor, scrunched them up against my chest, and turned for the bathroom. “I think I need a shower.”
“Annabelle, wait up.” Derek followed me into the bathroom just as I turned on the knob. Stepping into the shower, I heard
him say, “I’m not going to force you to talk, Annabelle, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried.”
I didn’t respond. How could I? Derek had been understanding since the day I arrived in Ogden. He’d trusted me, and I’d ruined that trust by double-crossing him. I betrayed not only a good friend but someone I’d considered family for a long time, and the man I thought I was beginning to fall in love with. I’d been thinking for days, trying to figure out how to break my ties with Rick without having to see him—in fact, how to not run into him at all—but now that he’d surprised me yesterday, any confidence I’d gathered while in Ogden seemed to have vanished.
I braced my hands against the wall and closed my eyes as hot water streamed down. When I finally opened my eyes and looked at Derek’s worried face from behind the glass, I whispered, “I wish you could come to San Francisco.”
I grabbed a sponge and scrubbed my entire body, from the top down. I wouldn’t leave an inch of my skin unwashed.
“Annabelle, what happened yesterday?”
I let out a long breath and shook my head. The pressure behind my eyes was building at lightning speed. Derek pulled the glass door open and stepped inside in his boxer-briefs. “Jesus, Annabelle. You’re scarring me, baby.” He turned me around to face him. I stood under the falling water, looking into Derek’s golden eyes. “What if you don’t fly back? I can drive on Wednesday, help you pack up, and we can have a road trip home together.”
“You’d do that for me?” I lifted my gaze to his.
“Of course I would.” He pulled me into his arms. “I’d run to hell and back for you if you asked me to.”
Thank goodness the water was streaming down my face, washing away my salty tears.
“I don’t have much. I don’t want you to make an unnecessary trip, Derek. Don’t you have to work on the house?”
More importantly, I didn’t want him running into Rick. I didn’t want any of my family members meeting that bastard. It was difficult enough for me to figure out how I’d pack my belongings from the apartment without being seen. By now, I was certain that this was an impossible task. Although it was my apartment, Rick had come over often, most times drunk. And now that he’d confirmed he was waiting for me, I was sure I couldn’t avoid him. It surprised me that he was so cool and calm about my long trip—after all, I left work, which meant that I wasn’t making any money. What was he up to? Why had he let me go away for so long in the first place?
“Minor details. It won’t make a difference if your mom stays at my house for a few extra days.”
We were supposed to pick up my mom from the hospital when I returned. My dad would be released a couple of weeks later. Derek had not only renovated the house, he made it functional for a couple with limited mobility. And he’d done all of this while taking care of the pigs and I’d been studying.
“Derek, you’ve done so much for me and my family already.”
“Eric’s paying me good money for this job. It’s a job.”
“I know, but I have a feeling you’d do it whether you got paid or not.”
“Wouldn’t you do everything in your power for the person you love?”
What did he just say? I wanted to say something—anything—but no words would come out of my mouth.
He took my face into both hands, cupping it. “I’m in love with you Annabelle Waters. I think I’ve been in love with you for a while now. You’ve been here a few weeks, but I’ve known you most of my life. I don’t want you moving in with your parents when they go to the farm. I want you to live here with me, permanently.”
“Derek... you can’t. I mean... I can’t do this. Not like this.” The tears began streaming down my face before I got a chance to process everything he’d said. I lowered his hands, pushed the door open, grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around my body. My heart ached for this man. I didn’t deserve his love and his heart, no matter how much I loved him. I wanted to tell him so, but not like this. Not when he’d been so honest with me and all I’d done was lie. There was no way I could say these words to him while Rick was still in the picture, or at least, while Derek didn’t know the truth.
“Annabelle, wait!” he called behind me as I left the bathroom. With the towel wrapped around me, I stepped out onto the balcony and sat on the lounger. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead there, sobbing.
I could feel Derek standing over me. His presence of pure goodness, comfort, and loyalty was always like an invisible aura that wrapped itself around me.
“I’m sorry. I know someone’s hurt you before. If this is too fast.... I’m so sorry, but please, don’t shut me out, Annabelle. I want to be here for you. Whatever you’re going through, I will understand.”
I heard him walk around me and crouch in front of the lounger at my feet. His hands smoothed over my cold toes and he rubbed them gently, waiting with patience for me to say something.
I couldn’t take it any longer. There was no way I could keep pretending that I had a perfect life in Ogden, because while I’d been living a fairy tale in the past month, it was time to get back to the real world. In two days I would fly out to San Francisco, back into the arms of one of the most ruthless men I’d ever known. If I was lucky, he’d be passed out somewhere and forgotten about my return date. But when Rick was concerned, luck was never on my side.
Derek knelt in front of me. He gently pulled on my feet, bringing my knees down, and he lowered his head on my legs. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I raked my fingers through his wet hair. The silky strands released the fresh scent of lavender I was so used to. He must had bathed after putting me to bed last night.
“Please, no,” I said, lifting his head to look at me. I pulled my nose over the towel, wiping the sniffle. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m the one who’s been lying to you. You gave me everything, your home, your honesty, childhood stories, and your love. And I just sat there, taking it all, keeping the only thing you wanted away from you: myself. Derek, I lied to you. I have since the moment I came back to Ogden. And you’re going to hate me so much after I tell you this.” I sobbed so hard I could barely understand my own words. And instead of frowning or stepping away from me, Derek sat at my side, took me into his arms, and held me. When I heard the next words come out of his mouth, I thought I’d crumble.
“You may think I don’t know you, Annabelle, but I do. I know when you laugh, your nose creases in that funny way. And when you keep something from me, your eyes darken slightly. I know you because I’ve known you and your family my entire life. I know that when you sleep at night, you tremble with nightmares and only stop once you take my arm to cover yourself. I know you’re here because you are a wonderful daughter and your parents need you, but also because you’re running away from something scary in San Francisco—something I desperately want to save you from, but I don’t know how. And most of all, I know that no matter what you say to me, it will not stop me from loving you any less.”
I blinked away my tears, trying to connect my gaze with his golden eyes. “How can you be so kind? How can you love someone who lied to you?”
“Because I’ve seen kindness in other people, and because I’ve seen what lack of it can do to people as well. I know I didn’t tell you the entire story about what happened when we were drafted by the SEALSs, but believe me, I can read people better than they can read themselves. And you, Annabelle, whatever lies you think you’ve told, you’ve done so out of fear. They’re not lies. They’re truths you’re afraid to speak.”
“I... I’m married,” I cried out.
Derek didn’t say a word. Instead he took me into his arms and held me there as I cried, kissing the top of my head. His lips remained there for a few minutes. I could feel his body tense underneath me. While Derek tried to hold me the same way he had before, his body couldn’t lie. My words pierced through him like a poisoned arrow, and as the truth sunk in, the toxin was slowly spreading through his body, forcing him to react in
a way he wasn’t prepared to. Yet he still held me. I wasn’t sure how long we sat like this. A few stray clouds shadowed the forest in the distance. The air cooled, Derek lifted me off the seat and brought me inside onto our bed. He sat beside me, holding my hands, patiently waiting.
After everything he’d done for me, I owed him the full truth.
“I married a man who’s ruining my life.”
“Did you love him?”
“No, it wasn’t like that. He needed help and I needed the money he offered to pay for school. Rick emigrated from Mexico and wanted to get a green card quicker. When I met him, he was kind and genuine. Only Rick was playing me. It wasn’t until months later that I learned he’d been stalking me for a long time. Why me? Why not pick someone else? I think he knew my family lived far away. Other than my few friends, I didn’t have anyone. So I took the ten thousand dollars he offered to pay me and married him. I thought I could put it away for the next semester’s payment, but he found a way to take even that from me.”
“Did you live together?”
“No. I have my own apartment. But he comes when he needs money. In the past year, he’s needed more and more and he’s told me I need a second job.” I sobbed. The words were spilling out of me on their own. “I don’t want him. I don’t want to have anything to do with him. It wasn’t supposed to be like that when I agreed, but he quit his job, started drinking and gambling, and he ruined my credit. That’s why I don’t want Eric to put any of our family’s money in my name. Once Rick finds out, he’ll never let me go.”
Derek’s eyes were beginning to flame with anger. And I deserved it all. I led him on; I ruined his trust, and now it was time to let the only man I’d ever loved go. Derek pulled his fingers through his hair before letting out an exasperated breath.
“So, the marriage, was it consummated?”
I stilled, feeling my tears streak down my face as I shook my head. “I didn’t want it to be.”
“Oh, Annabelle.” Derek threw his arms around me and held me tightly. I didn’t deserve his love. I wasn’t worthy of his love and care.
