by Amanda Jason
“You’ll be an awesome mom.” I hug her again and feel relief as she laughs.
“Hey, you two, we’re waiting to open presents.” We turn to see Taylor standing there with his hands on his hips. “And the grannies are at it again. We need you out there ASAP.”
I put my arm around Julie and we make our way to the living room, hearing a heated discussion between the grandmothers.
“I’m just saying the money is wasted on that ratty old museum. We need new bingo balls and a new paint job on the community center.”
“Ratty old museum? How dare you talk like that about such a place? It is a wealth of information for the population of our town. Bingo balls are a frivolous waste of money, and I will definitely veto it.”
“And I will vote for it, and so will my friends. The money will be ours.”
“Ah, thank goodness. Here they are. Julie, Dora, we’re ready to open presents, so take a seat,” Mom says, looking frazzled.
“First, Julie and Kevin have some exciting news.”
Everyone’s attention focuses on Julie and me, and Julie motions for Kevin to join us. “As our second family, we want to tell you all some great news we recently found out.” Julie swallows hard and the good old tears are back.
“What Julie is trying to say,” Kevin takes her hand and gently squeezes it, “is that we’re going to have a baby.”
A little lump forms in my throat as I see the joy and love in Kevin’s eyes as he looks at his wife. Little niggles of jealousy momentarily blind me, or it might just be these tears, but then I push them away as the room erupts with congratulations followed by a massive hugging session. Blinking away the tears, I find Drew’s eyes glued to mine, and for a brief moment I wonder what kind of father he’d be.
“Well, that was fun.” Jeff turns to look at me in the backseat.
“It’s always fun at the Phillips’ house. Never normal, but always fun.” I’m so drowsy, and the comfy leather seat makes me want to take a nap.
“I love your family. I can’t thank them enough for allowing me to join all of you. I think this is the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”
Drew’s sexy deep voice makes me sit up straighter. Wait. Why am I thinking about his sexy voice when this poor guy just admitted he’s never had a good Christmas? How utterly sad. I wish I could hug him right now, but I don’t think that would be wise since he’s driving.
“Really? The best? Man, I’m sorry. Well, I don’t know what to say.” Jeff, Mr. Always Knows What to Say, is at a loss for words. I so wish Julie was here to witness this.
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I’d apologize for the grandmothers, but you knew what you were in for. And, Drew, I love my present. It’s beautiful.” I do love the silver necklace he gave me. It’s an intricate silver design wrapped around a turquoise ball that chimes when I move. “Does it have a meaning?”
Drew laughs, which is a wonderful sound to my ears. What kind of childhood did this guy have when spending a Christmas with people he met only a few months ago is the best he’s ever had? I really need to find out how I’m supposed to help him. I’m most definitely calling Mom tomorrow. We need to pump Henry for more info. Every gift Drew gave out today brought joy to each and every one of us. I’m so confused. He’s projects this image of being a big player, and yet he’s so incredibly sweet and thoughtful at the same time.
“No, it’s just something I saw and I thought of you,” he replies, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he’s not being completely honest with me.
I don’t want to get out of the warm car when we get home. I know it’s only a few steps to the elevator, but the parking garage is freezing and I’m already shivering when Drew opens my door and to let me out. With teeth chattering, I practically run to the elevator, leaving Jeff and Drew following, carrying our Christmas haul in their arms.
“I need to move to a tropical island,” I grumble through pursed lips. “I’m so over cold weather. I love the other three seasons, but winter needs to take a hike.”
“You just need to grow a thicker skin. You’re such a wimp.” Jeff nudges me and Drew dazzles me with a smile. Yep, I said dazzle—see what the cold does to me? I might also be thinking I’d love for him to warm me up too.
Oh lord, I’m losing it majorly. One minute I want to comfort him, and the next I want to make out with him furiously.
“Since we have our arms full, do you think you could open the door for us, or are your hands numb from the cold?” Sarcasm so suits Jeff. He can see I have my gloves on. I pull out the old-fashioned key and open my door, leading Santa’s little helpers into the room beyond.
“Do you want a beer, Drew?” Jeff asks, opening the fridge.
He pulls two out as Drew nods. I loathe beer. It tastes nasty. I don’t care what brand it is, it all tastes like shit. No, I haven’t tasted shit, but it’s what I think it might taste like. Give me wine or a fruity mixed drink and I’m there. Or at least I was until my last bout with wine where I lost miserably.
“I’m going to take a shower,” Jeff says after taking a gulp from the bottle. “Try not to gossip about me while I’m away, okay?”
“Aww, you take all the fun out of it,” I reply. “But really, we have more enjoyable and entertaining topics to discuss. It’s not all about you.”
He chuckles and closes the bathroom door. The silence is deafening. All of a sudden, I don’t know what to say to Drew. Awkward? Check. We’ve never been alone before, and I think I finally know the meaning of “cat got your tongue?” because mine is MIA.
“Would you like some hot chocolate?” Drew’s voice startles me, and I turn around to see him leaning up against the fridge, looking solemn. Does he feel as awkward as I do right now? No, how could he, he has women eating out of his hands all the time. Yet for some reason I get the feeling he is as nervous as I am.
“I’d love some, but I don’t have any.”
“I have a stash of gourmet mixes that I received in a basket from my agent, and I’d be willing to share.” He pushes away from the fridge and opens the door into the main loft.
I follow behind him. I can think of several other ways we could warm up, but my face just warmed up enough for the both of us. Damn my red hair and fair complexion. I feel my skin grow even warmer as I watch Drew’s tight derriere making its way into the kitchen.
For the love of baloney and cheese, Dora, pull yourself together and quit thinking about naked butts. Oh heavens, his butt isn’t naked. It’s encased in a tight pair of butt-loving jeans.
My temperature soars to a new high, and I stop following Drew’s butt and plop down on the nearest sofa. What I wouldn’t give for a handful of snow right about now.
“Almost ready. I picked French vanilla and double milk chocolate with tiny marshmallows. Is that okay?”
“Perfect,” I croak out.
My current state has affected my vocal cords. I’m a mess, a total mess. I haven’t whined this much in years. I used to be a person who was grounded and boring. Boring boyfriends, boring sex, and a boring life, and now all I can think about are penises and butts. What’s next? Hot kinky sex? Sadism? Masochism? Bondage? Nope. I have a low tolerance for pain, and I’d be too chicken to dish it out. Okay, so I may punch Kevin and Jeff occasionally when they act like morons, but no, kinky sex will definitely not make it on my bucket list.
I hear Drew clear his throat and look up to find him standing beside me holding a mug that reads, “Models do it model perfect.”
“Corny, huh? Our agent put it in the gift basket. He may be a good agent, but he’s a total dork.”
“He probably means well,” I say, taking the cup from him. I expect him to sit opposite me, but he settles down right beside me on the couch. There are a dozen more seats he could have picked, and next to me is a little too close for comfort.
“It’s going to get cold, so drink up,” he says in his husky voice. It causes me to quiver. I sure hope he thinks I’m still a little cold. “Would you like a blanket?”
I shake my head. I can’t speak because a vision of him and me naked under a blanket comes to mind. My mind has turned into a guy’s these last few months. I’ve never thought this much about sex in my whole life.
“If you change your mind, let me know.” His thigh is so close to mine, I start to sweat, or “glow” as grandmother says. Nope, it’s sweat.
I take a long drink from my mug. OMG, it’s like nirvana. The flavor pops in my mouth, and I moan at the mouthwatering flavor that travels past my taste buds and down my throat.
“It’s an orgasmic experience. I knew you’d love it.”
I turn to look at Drew, who has a satisfied smile on his face as he takes a long drink. Orgasmic? I wouldn’t know about that. Finding someone to actually give me an orgasm is the hard part. The closest I’ve come is the encounter with Colin, but he seems to have lost interest, or maybe he just wanted to see if I was worth the effort. I guess I wasn’t.
See? I’m right about pretty boys. It’s all about them.
“You seem preoccupied. Is something up?” Drew’s voice interrupts me.
“Mmm, I was thinking that this is the best cup of hot chocolate I’ve ever had, and I want to know where your agent found it.” There you go, Dora. That sounded normal, not like you’ve been thinking about hot orgasms.
“Did I hear ‘hot chocolate’?”
Relief flows through me at Jeff’s voice. I jump up and move away from the hot package beside me, handing Jeff my mug.
“Take a drink and tell me what you think.”
“No need to share, Dora. I’m off to make him one.” Drew rises from his seat and brushes past me on his way to the kitchen. Yep, there go those hot flashes again.
“Here take mine. I need a shower stat.” I practically throw the mug at Jeff.
“Cold shower?”
“Shut up, and wipe that silly grin off your face. Some days I almost hate men, gay or straight.” I stomp off—yes, juvenile, but I feel like throwing a fit. Damn sonofabitch hormones.
All the good work the hot chocolate did is wiped out by the cool shower. I say “cool” because I don’t want Jeff to be right about the cold shower.
Jeff walks into the room an hour later, looking like a cat that just swallowed a canary.
“Can’t believe you bailed on me. It’s so dangerous leaving such a delicious morsel alone with me.” He makes himself comfortable on my bed, propping himself up on one of my overstuffed pillows.
“Oh, don’t flatter yourself. He’s so not into you. He’s so straight it’s sickening. Have you seen the thousands of women he’s scored with? He’s been in so many magazine tabloids and on all those sleazy celebrity news shows. I bet he’s even lost count of how many women he’s had.”
Why am I so angry?
“I think you’re wrong. I think it’s the women who have scored. Being seen with the great Drew would boost anyone’s status. I find it hard to believe he’s slept with every woman he’s been seen with. He’s just doesn’t seem like that kind of guy.”
“How would you know? Have you interviewed all of them?”
“Why so much interest? Could he possibly be on your radar? Could he be the one who cures your lack of penis problem? Your one-night stand perhaps?” I want to wipe the smirk off his face, but he moves quickly and pulls me down onto the bed with him.
“You love me, I know you do. Why would it be so hard for you to give him a chance?”
“Because I want a one-night stand with a stranger or a long-term relationship with someone who will give me great sex, love, and not cheat on me. And Drew is definitely not either of those people to me. I don’t want a pretty man. I want a normal-looking man who won’t cause women to trip over their own feet when they see him. I’m such a failure.” I bury my head in my hands, shaking my head.
“I believe he has a thing for you, and you know I’m usually right about this stuff.”
“Oh, please. Me? Short, little, red-haired, plain old me? Give me a break. According to Henry, I’m supposed to help Drew, not hump him. I help, that’s what I do. That’s why I’m becoming a therapist, isn’t it?”
“There are plenty of ways to help someone, and dating him could be what he needs help with.”
“Sometimes I think you’re on drugs with the words that come out of your mouth. Why don’t you go put in Bridget Jones’s Diary so I can see someone having problems like me, even if she’s only a fictional character?”
“Okay, but in the end, she gets her man. You know that always pisses you off.” He pulls my hair back from my face and smacks a kiss on my cheek.
“I hate being so predictable.” I throw a pillow at his retreating back and then snuggle up with another one, waiting for the movie to start.
“I love you, Dora. Please love me back.”
Colin’s pleading eyes break me down and I throw my arms around him. I can’t believe he loves me. He moves down on the bed with my body wrapped up in his as our lips meet in a passionate embrace. His tongue slowly pries open my lips and moves in to mate with mine. I caress his shoulders, and I’m frustrated because I long to feel his naked skin. I move my hands in between us, unbuttoning his shirt until my fingertips graze his solid, smooth chest. His kiss deepens, and I move so he’s flush against me and I can feel every delicious inch of him. It’s hard, all of it.
He moves ever-so-slightly, and without breaking our kiss, he removes his shirt. I watch as his muscles flex when he pushes himself up, and I suddenly feel abandoned by the lack of his warm lips upon mine. I soon forget the loss as he moves to the side and reciprocates by unbuttoning me while our mouths lock once more. He slides down my zipper, exposing the hot pink panties underneath. I lift my hips so he can peel my pants down my legs, touching every inch of my exposed flesh as he goes. I bite my lip as he circles my navel, and then he leans down to replace his finger with his tongue. I rise off the bed as tendrils of fiery heat shoot throughout me. I move my restless legs as his fingers inch their way to the top of my hips and skim over my silky underwear, missing the spot I want him to touch, caress, or anything else he can think of. He moves to the end of the bed and stands up, keeping his smoldering eyes glued to mine. He unbuttons his jeans and pushes them down along with his underwear. I close my eyes as I feel the heat building up in me. I open them as he climbs back onto the bed, and I look up.
It’s not Colin, it’s Drew. I would recognize that penis anywhere.
My eyes meet his, and my heart begins to pound so hard I feel like my chest won’t be able to contain it. The last thing I see is his wicked smile as he moves up the bed to hover over me.
“Dora. Honey, wakey, wakey.”
“What? Oh, Jeff, it’s you.”
“Who else would it be? So, what you were dreaming about? You did a lot of moving and moaning. It’s like the other time—”
“Shush, shut it, quiet, and don’t speak.”
I throw off the cover and enter the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. The mirror shows a flushed face, one that looks like she’s been thoroughly caught up in a sex dream. Except there wasn’t any sex. At least I could have dreamed that. And what the hell? Again it starts out with Colin and when the deed is about to happen, it turns to Drew and his winking penis.
I’m losing my mind. Jeff will not let me live this down. He’ll tease me mercilessly at least for the next twenty-four hours.
“Dora, I need to pee. Like, really need to,” Jeff whines through the door.
I pull it open and avoid eye contact, moving into my closet and shutting the door. Juvenile, but I need more time to analyze my dream. It’s all Jeff’s fault, putting the idea into my head. Yes, that’s it. It’s not what I subconsciously want, it’s because he planted the seed and I allowed it to grow. It’s time I forget about anything sexual and just concentrate on graduating school and getting on with my life. I will only stay in the loft until I graduate, and then I’ll find another place.
Of course, I could always become a nun, and that would take c
are of a place to live and make it easier to forget about sex. Oh hell, I’m going to hell for that thought, and I’m sure Henry won’t be able to help me.
“Is there a reason you’re hiding in your closet?” Jeff asks through the door, “or is this some new thing you’re trying out? I want to go and hit the after Christmas sales, so hurry your cute little butt up and let’s go fight the hordes. We have money to spend.”
I quickly get dressed, and we’re out the door in roughly fifteen minutes. We have money to spend, and I’m good at that. Heck, I could use the distraction anyway.
New Year’s Eve is usually both a sad and happy time for me. Saying goodbye to the old year and starting out with a clean slate. New resolutions—okay, so technically not new … but the old ones I didn’t follow through on, redirected to the New Year. This year, I will stick with them until completion.
The first one is to lose the ten frickin’ pounds I gained this year. Okay, so it was the year before, but it’s a new resolution this year. Next, get grow a backbone and start telling people no. No to overtime, no to Sunday dinner when I don’t want to go, and no to boyfriends who cheat. Okay, so that’s a new one because last year I was still with The Jackass, and was completely oblivious to the fact he was cheating on me.
Another new resolution is to get financially sound so I can live by myself. So save, save, and save some more for me because I don’t want roommates. I want to live by myself just in case I find the perfect man, with a job, and who’s completely devoted to me, that I can have sex in every room without having to worry about being interrupted.
Colin and Liam are returning today, and except for the text Drew received on Christmas from Liam saying his family was relieved that he finally revealed his secret, we hadn’t heard much from either of them. As for Liam’s “secret,” it wasn’t a secret. Apparently, the whole town knew. They were waiting for him to tell them. I can’t wait to talk to him. He told Drew to tell me that he couldn’t wait to hug me when he gets back. Yeah, hug. For me, from Liam. Life is good.
